The Epic of "Plankfenced" (Dwarf Fortress)
- Thread starter Dubyamn
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Since the begginning of this thread, I've been reading the name of the fortress as "Plankfaced".
P
Pojodan
Blar. Keep forgetting to check this forum and my messages.
Thanks Chronos for keeping this going.
Thanks Chronos for keeping this going.
Since I did such a great job in the last year the dwarves have banded together to allow me to rule over them with my iron fist in the velvet glove.
Of course nobody bothered to clean up the fire imp bits that are all over the metal works and it is starting to get disgusting
Which makes my secondary job as the master armorer a blast let me tell you.
As I was dealing with the rotting body in our metal works one of our gem setters withdrew from his family and started mumbling and refusing to let anybody into the jewelers workshop. We of course locked him in his alcove until he started knocking on the door saying we absolutely have to check out this mug he made.
Our Clothier shops have started pumping out huge amounts of high quality clothing so fast that the haulers can't keep the workshops clean.
10th of Slate
Our Fortress has been doing so well that the powers that be has decided to send us a Baron, his do nothing wife, a Tax Collector and a Hammerer in addition to make the lands a county.
I am of course suitably honored to be saddled with such a collection of honored and useless individuals who will take whatever they need from out stores while giving back nothing of real value. Really just so happy. They also didn't waste any time in making demands. Apparently our new Baron has a thing for short swords
I had Chronos make them from silver. I won't train any sworddwarfs but they should be worth it to sell to the humans who have always seem to prefer appearance over usefulness.
20th of Felsite
Our new arrivals has set off a series of changes. We've had to start making acceptable quarters for the nobles as well as affordable housing for the dwarves who are going to be evicted after they fail to meet the 180 dwarfbucks a month that our current 3x3 rooms have as their going rate and then we are trying to make the armok damned stores that we need to make in order to start selling our goods. My mother's dream of a workers paradise has truly collapsed.
Of course during this time of upheaval and chaos the Goblins attacked with a huge force.
5 squads of goblins!! Well over 50 goblins were barking down our doors with the sole aim of killing every dwarf including the children. I ordered the defenders to march out to meet them in the field before they ever became a risk to the fortress. It was a huge risk because they were outnumbered 8 to 1 but I believed in them... them and the training silver weapons that I had armed them with. More and more this march out looked like it was going to be a terrible slaughter of our only trained military dwarves.
Of course the Human diplomat and our new Baron were unconcerned with my problems. Negotiating trade deals and prices while our dwarves were out there fighting.
5th of Hematite
I shouldn't have worried about our military. They preformed so perfectly that had Armok himself descended to the earth and fought along side our dwarves it would have slowed the slaughter.
The first group we met on the slopes and the hammerdwarves made short work of them sending the vangaurd flying off the mountain to the ground where they exploded.
Next 3 dwarves broke off form the main pack to hit another group of Goblins coming from the North that the others had missed.
Another absolute slaughter that left 10 goblins dead.
Further out our spear dwarf Mebzuthkivish ran out too far ahead of his squad and got surrounded by goblins. He was lightly wounded on the arm and it looked bad.
The squads heard his cries and moved in as quickly as possible but it was apparent that they would never arrive in time. But of course that was his plan all along. He entered into some kind of martial trance and started tearing the goblins apart.
And of course before he was even fully done slaughtering the first squad the next group of Goblins marched right up uncaring of the monster that just tore them apart
Of course after this next squad met the raging beast that is our master of spear and died rather quickly. The last of the Goblins discovered that they didn't really want to die trying to take the unbreakable fortress and ran.
Somehow in all the action I missed one of our workers being possessed and creating a Morion Cage. Yes somehow he made a cage out of a rough gem the size of my knuckle. No he won't tell me how and I'm afraid that deep down I really don't want to know.
21st of Galena
Since the Failed siege nothing much has happened around the fortress. Our factories are producing goods, our farms are producing food and our workers are becoming more skilled by the day. Life was good. Or it was.
Until the Tax Collector marched into my office and demanded that I make for him 2 items of Bismuth. Of course Bismuth can't actually be used to make anything other that Bismuth bronze. When I told him this he refused to accept the bars of bismuth bronze as actual items. With that he told me to "see to it" and left. Goddamn rat eating bastard.
But even with my pissy mood I found little things to be happy about. For example we had Goblins theives prowling around the entrance.
Every one of them cleaved into little bits by the traps.
13th of Sandstone
This morning I was awoken by the cries of one of our early risers who stumbled upon a goblin ambush party.
I called for all of the squads to get out the to defend us and save the peasant. I had no doubt that they would do just as well with this small group.
Unfortunately it was our training squad who got out to them first probably because they were hungry to prove their worth while the battle hardened squads were more concerned with drinking. While the training qads were getting worked over.
The more experienced squads finally arrived in time to end them but the training squad will probably have to be reformed and the survivors folded into the other squads.
15th of moonstone
Typical really second siege of the year.
Since many of the invading goblins were armed with crossbows I made the prudent choice to not send out the sqauds since the stories of the goblin crossbow paints it as a weapon laking in class, workmanship and skill but that more than makes up for it with the killing power. So I pulled the lever to force them through the maze. Hoping that the goblins would throw themselves against the traps and solve the problems themselves.
The plan worked and at the same time it failed utterly. No sooner had the goblins reached the traps then they became clogged with blood and goblin bits. Then the loyal dwarves felt the need to go out and clean the jammed traps completley ignoring the risk of such actions. Fortunately only one dwarf died to the goblin bolts. It unfortunately was our legendary gem cutter. Really really wish it had gone down different but I really don't have time to mourn idiots who ignore orders and get themselves killed.
In other sad news our weapon production is going to be out of commission for awhile. Chronos hauled the wrong bin up to trade and violated an order about what we are allow to sell. Scepters of all things. Of course when the Hammerer heard about this she was less than pleased. Chronos became our first beating victim.
She of course hammered him in the crotch damaging his lower body and lower spine. The hammerer is beyond insane. I of course stripped her of her hammer so that at worst the next beating will be merely hilarious not tragic and inefficient.
31st of Obsidian
Nothing much happened since the beating of Chronos. But I will of course hand over the riegns of the fortress to the next dwarf brave enough to tame her.
Of course nobody bothered to clean up the fire imp bits that are all over the metal works and it is starting to get disgusting
Which makes my secondary job as the master armorer a blast let me tell you.
As I was dealing with the rotting body in our metal works one of our gem setters withdrew from his family and started mumbling and refusing to let anybody into the jewelers workshop. We of course locked him in his alcove until he started knocking on the door saying we absolutely have to check out this mug he made.
Our Clothier shops have started pumping out huge amounts of high quality clothing so fast that the haulers can't keep the workshops clean.
10th of Slate
Our Fortress has been doing so well that the powers that be has decided to send us a Baron, his do nothing wife, a Tax Collector and a Hammerer in addition to make the lands a county.
I am of course suitably honored to be saddled with such a collection of honored and useless individuals who will take whatever they need from out stores while giving back nothing of real value. Really just so happy. They also didn't waste any time in making demands. Apparently our new Baron has a thing for short swords
I had Chronos make them from silver. I won't train any sworddwarfs but they should be worth it to sell to the humans who have always seem to prefer appearance over usefulness.
20th of Felsite
Our new arrivals has set off a series of changes. We've had to start making acceptable quarters for the nobles as well as affordable housing for the dwarves who are going to be evicted after they fail to meet the 180 dwarfbucks a month that our current 3x3 rooms have as their going rate and then we are trying to make the armok damned stores that we need to make in order to start selling our goods. My mother's dream of a workers paradise has truly collapsed.
Of course during this time of upheaval and chaos the Goblins attacked with a huge force.
5 squads of goblins!! Well over 50 goblins were barking down our doors with the sole aim of killing every dwarf including the children. I ordered the defenders to march out to meet them in the field before they ever became a risk to the fortress. It was a huge risk because they were outnumbered 8 to 1 but I believed in them... them and the training silver weapons that I had armed them with. More and more this march out looked like it was going to be a terrible slaughter of our only trained military dwarves.
Of course the Human diplomat and our new Baron were unconcerned with my problems. Negotiating trade deals and prices while our dwarves were out there fighting.
5th of Hematite
I shouldn't have worried about our military. They preformed so perfectly that had Armok himself descended to the earth and fought along side our dwarves it would have slowed the slaughter.
The first group we met on the slopes and the hammerdwarves made short work of them sending the vangaurd flying off the mountain to the ground where they exploded.
Next 3 dwarves broke off form the main pack to hit another group of Goblins coming from the North that the others had missed.
Another absolute slaughter that left 10 goblins dead.
Further out our spear dwarf Mebzuthkivish ran out too far ahead of his squad and got surrounded by goblins. He was lightly wounded on the arm and it looked bad.
The squads heard his cries and moved in as quickly as possible but it was apparent that they would never arrive in time. But of course that was his plan all along. He entered into some kind of martial trance and started tearing the goblins apart.
And of course before he was even fully done slaughtering the first squad the next group of Goblins marched right up uncaring of the monster that just tore them apart
Of course after this next squad met the raging beast that is our master of spear and died rather quickly. The last of the Goblins discovered that they didn't really want to die trying to take the unbreakable fortress and ran.
Somehow in all the action I missed one of our workers being possessed and creating a Morion Cage. Yes somehow he made a cage out of a rough gem the size of my knuckle. No he won't tell me how and I'm afraid that deep down I really don't want to know.
21st of Galena
Since the Failed siege nothing much has happened around the fortress. Our factories are producing goods, our farms are producing food and our workers are becoming more skilled by the day. Life was good. Or it was.
Until the Tax Collector marched into my office and demanded that I make for him 2 items of Bismuth. Of course Bismuth can't actually be used to make anything other that Bismuth bronze. When I told him this he refused to accept the bars of bismuth bronze as actual items. With that he told me to "see to it" and left. Goddamn rat eating bastard.
But even with my pissy mood I found little things to be happy about. For example we had Goblins theives prowling around the entrance.
Every one of them cleaved into little bits by the traps.
13th of Sandstone
This morning I was awoken by the cries of one of our early risers who stumbled upon a goblin ambush party.
I called for all of the squads to get out the to defend us and save the peasant. I had no doubt that they would do just as well with this small group.
Unfortunately it was our training squad who got out to them first probably because they were hungry to prove their worth while the battle hardened squads were more concerned with drinking. While the training qads were getting worked over.
The more experienced squads finally arrived in time to end them but the training squad will probably have to be reformed and the survivors folded into the other squads.
15th of moonstone
Typical really second siege of the year.
Since many of the invading goblins were armed with crossbows I made the prudent choice to not send out the sqauds since the stories of the goblin crossbow paints it as a weapon laking in class, workmanship and skill but that more than makes up for it with the killing power. So I pulled the lever to force them through the maze. Hoping that the goblins would throw themselves against the traps and solve the problems themselves.
The plan worked and at the same time it failed utterly. No sooner had the goblins reached the traps then they became clogged with blood and goblin bits. Then the loyal dwarves felt the need to go out and clean the jammed traps completley ignoring the risk of such actions. Fortunately only one dwarf died to the goblin bolts. It unfortunately was our legendary gem cutter. Really really wish it had gone down different but I really don't have time to mourn idiots who ignore orders and get themselves killed.
In other sad news our weapon production is going to be out of commission for awhile. Chronos hauled the wrong bin up to trade and violated an order about what we are allow to sell. Scepters of all things. Of course when the Hammerer heard about this she was less than pleased. Chronos became our first beating victim.
She of course hammered him in the crotch damaging his lower body and lower spine. The hammerer is beyond insane. I of course stripped her of her hammer so that at worst the next beating will be merely hilarious not tragic and inefficient.
31st of Obsidian
Nothing much happened since the beating of Chronos. But I will of course hand over the riegns of the fortress to the next dwarf brave enough to tame her.
C
Chronos[Ha-G]
YeOUCH.
Given the recent turn of events, I think I'll make some time for a turn here...should be good material.
Given the recent turn of events, I think I'll make some time for a turn here...should be good material.
Edited in the picture showing the results of Chronos' crotch shot.
http://rapidshare.com/files/266342616/r ... 3.zip.html
The zip.
http://rapidshare.com/files/266342616/r ... 3.zip.html
The zip.
C
Chronos[Ha-G]
Sorry I'm being slow - give me another day or two here and I'll get the first write-up.
C
Chronos[Ha-G]
Arg - with the forum move I think it stopped tracking this topic, so I didn't even think of this topic again till I thought of it and had to query for it.
Sorry about forgetting...again. If I don't have at least the start of my turn out in the next day or two, just go on without me. I want to take my turn, but life might interfere with it.
Sorry about forgetting...again. If I don't have at least the start of my turn out in the next day or two, just go on without me. I want to take my turn, but life might interfere with it.
C
Chronos[Ha-G]
I told bearscholar about it - he may be interested in taking a turn here. I'll get him to finally look at this topic.
ill be taking his turn now i got to go to work
P
Pojodan
I just can't seem to get back into Dwarf Fortress right now. Every time I try to get jazzed up about it I get wrapped up in what's coming in the next release and lose interest when I see it's still not out yet.
Perhaps when they finally get that out I'll want to get back into a community game.
Perhaps when they finally get that out I'll want to get back into a community game.
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