The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
It would be a great gift for your kids to give you.
They'd just have to pitch in, like, 5 bucks each.
Fuck.
I can't even get the wife to talk me out of it. She'll want it more than I do.
--Patrick
Dave
Staff member
Well this has been an interesting week.
Monday I get a call that we have to move my mom from the assisted living facility into the nursing home. This was because of several reasons. The most important one was because she was attempting to escape. She made it to the parking lot and was trying to get into people's cars to "take her home". It doesn't help that the facility is only about a block away from a large truck stop. Another reason is that they gave her a memory/cognition test and scored a blazing 5 out of a possible 100. No, I don't know which ones she missed or which ones she got right. Probably her name and not much else. Yet another reason is she's fallen a few times and could not say why, nor could she call for help since she never remembered to put on her panic button necklace thing. So they decided it was time.
We started Monday night getting stuff ready and hit it hard on Tuesday. Valentine's Day. Yay. Mom went from a single room that was about the size of a small studio apartment into a SHARED room that was about the size of a hospital room. In fact, it looks a lot like the room my dad was in when he went into hospice. Suffice it to say she was not pleased. Not pleased because the room was so small, not pleased because the roommate she has looks to be on death's door and doesn't speak (and it's depressing!), not pleased because we didn't ask her what she thought - we just told her - , and not pleased because she had no choice! We completely understand her displeasure and we share it quite a bit. So, of course, it was a fight.
The area she went into is locked up tighter than a drum. To exit ANY door you either need the code or have an employee with you. She has to wear an ankle bracelet (we call it her house arrest monitor) that goes off if it gets past any of the doors. (Interestingly enough, in my comedy routine I HAD a bit where I talked about a fitbit and how I put it on my mom's ankle to get free steps. It helps me and we tell her she's under house arrest so she doesn't try and leave. I thought it was a joke, not fucking prophecy!) She did get past one at one point when a kitchen lady let her through and we had a HELL of a time getting her back over. Actually, Kelly and I didn't - we let the home do that. She wasn't listening to us at that point.
So we get her moved and she's yelling and mad and crying, etc. Oh, and did I mention that all this time my sister's daughter-in-law was in the hospital giving birth? Yup. So we had their 2 year old son, Wesley, with us during this whole ordeal. He was actually pretty great and we used him several times as a bright, shiny object to distract mom. We finally gave up about 8 and then we came home. I walked in the door at 8:45 pm and had started early in the day. And since it was a fucking bummer of a day I decided to rush down to the improv show that I'd passed on since I didn't think I'd be back to do it. I blew off a lot of steam just fucking around on stage. I actually think I was at my funniest since my humor and mood were a bit more biting than normal.
Anyway, I then get a call on Wednesday from my sister. She'd been feeling bad and went to the doctor. And now she's been diagnosed with the flu. So we had to let the home know, the mom & new baby know, and I hope that I'm not going to get it. Of course, every little cough or headache is making me go, "Is it...?" even though I know there's no way it's already affecting me.
I also went to the eye doctor yesterday. I'm going to be getting contact lenses as my glasses (bifocals) drive me nuts in VR. And they found that I'm getting glaucoma. So I have to go to a specialist next week for further testing.
Why is this not in a rant thread? Because surprisingly I'm largely unaffected by it all and none of it has made me upset or mad. It just is. Probably should be at some of it, but sometimes when it piles on you just square your shoulders and worry about the emotional aspect of it later. Also the blowing off of steam at the improv show I think helped me a lot.
/wall of text
Monday I get a call that we have to move my mom from the assisted living facility into the nursing home. This was because of several reasons. The most important one was because she was attempting to escape. She made it to the parking lot and was trying to get into people's cars to "take her home". It doesn't help that the facility is only about a block away from a large truck stop. Another reason is that they gave her a memory/cognition test and scored a blazing 5 out of a possible 100. No, I don't know which ones she missed or which ones she got right. Probably her name and not much else. Yet another reason is she's fallen a few times and could not say why, nor could she call for help since she never remembered to put on her panic button necklace thing. So they decided it was time.
We started Monday night getting stuff ready and hit it hard on Tuesday. Valentine's Day. Yay. Mom went from a single room that was about the size of a small studio apartment into a SHARED room that was about the size of a hospital room. In fact, it looks a lot like the room my dad was in when he went into hospice. Suffice it to say she was not pleased. Not pleased because the room was so small, not pleased because the roommate she has looks to be on death's door and doesn't speak (and it's depressing!), not pleased because we didn't ask her what she thought - we just told her - , and not pleased because she had no choice! We completely understand her displeasure and we share it quite a bit. So, of course, it was a fight.
The area she went into is locked up tighter than a drum. To exit ANY door you either need the code or have an employee with you. She has to wear an ankle bracelet (we call it her house arrest monitor) that goes off if it gets past any of the doors. (Interestingly enough, in my comedy routine I HAD a bit where I talked about a fitbit and how I put it on my mom's ankle to get free steps. It helps me and we tell her she's under house arrest so she doesn't try and leave. I thought it was a joke, not fucking prophecy!) She did get past one at one point when a kitchen lady let her through and we had a HELL of a time getting her back over. Actually, Kelly and I didn't - we let the home do that. She wasn't listening to us at that point.
So we get her moved and she's yelling and mad and crying, etc. Oh, and did I mention that all this time my sister's daughter-in-law was in the hospital giving birth? Yup. So we had their 2 year old son, Wesley, with us during this whole ordeal. He was actually pretty great and we used him several times as a bright, shiny object to distract mom. We finally gave up about 8 and then we came home. I walked in the door at 8:45 pm and had started early in the day. And since it was a fucking bummer of a day I decided to rush down to the improv show that I'd passed on since I didn't think I'd be back to do it. I blew off a lot of steam just fucking around on stage. I actually think I was at my funniest since my humor and mood were a bit more biting than normal.
Anyway, I then get a call on Wednesday from my sister. She'd been feeling bad and went to the doctor. And now she's been diagnosed with the flu. So we had to let the home know, the mom & new baby know, and I hope that I'm not going to get it. Of course, every little cough or headache is making me go, "Is it...?" even though I know there's no way it's already affecting me.
I also went to the eye doctor yesterday. I'm going to be getting contact lenses as my glasses (bifocals) drive me nuts in VR. And they found that I'm getting glaucoma. So I have to go to a specialist next week for further testing.
Why is this not in a rant thread? Because surprisingly I'm largely unaffected by it all and none of it has made me upset or mad. It just is. Probably should be at some of it, but sometimes when it piles on you just square your shoulders and worry about the emotional aspect of it later. Also the blowing off of steam at the improv show I think helped me a lot.
/wall of text
Hey what did Michael Jordan do recently? I just remembered, last week I saw a protestor with a sandwich board that said "Michael Jordan is the antichrist", while carrying a megaphone that blared music at City Hall.
Dave
Staff member
Nothing recently. But there is this:
http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/m...ve-been-the-anti-christ-of-the-nba.453011763/
http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/m...ve-been-the-anti-christ-of-the-nba.453011763/
Dave
Staff member
It's all in the vocal delivery.
Hey now don't forget about the IMFDB. The article on The Matrix alone is about 20 minutes' worth.
--Patrick
He recently went to the Knicks to speak on Charles Oakley's behalf, but I don't know if that warrents "Anti-Christ" assignment.
You would dare to support the singer of WEASEL STOMPING DAY!?!? Aren't the furry snake-rats disappointed in you? Are you in danger?
With the amount of times my catsnakes get under my feet or on my feet to be kicked across the room, I think they fully endorse Weasel Stomping Day.
Besides, doomweasels wouldn't get stomped; they do the stomping.[DOUBLEPOST=1487290876,1487290778][/DOUBLEPOST]
That's the vinyl set with all the extra crap. I'm getting the CD set with the minimum amount of extra crap.[DOUBLEPOST=1487290941][/DOUBLEPOST]
I'll buy it for you if you buy it for me.
GasBandit
Staff member
There was a period in my life (granted, it was during my childhood) that I listened to NOTHING but Wierd Al, day in, day out. I had like 3 or 4 cassettes I went between. That was it.
This explains so much...
I just saw a Facebook post to the page of the town I live in asking who taps the trees in the cemetery, because they would like to buy some of the syrup for sentimental reasons. Maybe it's because I'm morbid as fuck, but would that not technically contain trace elements of THE DEAD!?!?!?!?!
Necrosyrup.
Maybe that's why they want it from the cemetry trees "This syrup is so sweet, it must have some of your Great Aunt Jane in it."
It's tasty.
In the same way we are breathing air molecules hitler breathed.
or farted
I purchased 2 eBooks about a certain armadillo detective.
Join us in the wait for #3!
GasBandit
Staff member
A+ hip thrusts right thar.
