Okay, so sit back. I'll explain why I'm not doing this tomorrow.
I think I've said before about the crazy woman for whom I've done gigs in a place called Newell, IA. She's crazy, but her money's good so I keep coming up here. It's 2.5 hours away from home, but she's hired us five or six times and always paid so even though they are a pain in the ass I keep saying yes when she asks me to perform.
So. I got hired to provide music for a beer tent today and a car show tomorrow. $300 and a hotel room. Deal, right? So she tells us "You're going to love this. It's not a fleabag hotel. It's a Super 8!" We rolled our eyes, but okay. The reviews online were decent enough. It's cool.
This morning we were going to get up and drive by 8:30. Set the alarm...and apparently even though I set it I didn't turn it on. So when 9 hit and I woke up, it was crunch time. Got the car loaded with gear and got on the road by 10. No problem, until...
Don't know if you read, but Nebraska had some pretty bad flooding. The road to the north was closed. So we got routed back to the south, intending to go around the city to the main highway, but...flooding closed the south road as well. We were forced to go right through the city. We finally made it through and when talking to my wife I realized that I'd forgotten my computer. You know, the thing with all the music on it? Fuck. So back I go.
Now it's 11:30 and I still have 2.5 hours to drive. I called the client and she says, "Uh...we have live music for today. We only need you for tomorrow. But you're still getting the hotel room and free food. Oh, and I didn't like the motel we booked you in so we found you a guest house." Uh...okay.
We finally make it to Newell, and the place is a barren wasteland. We finally track her down to get the hotel information so we can check in and she gives us an envelope with money for the hotel. Cash. For the hotel. The fuck? We drive the 10 miles to the next big city, Storm Lake, and find the "Sail Inn", which is where we were booked. Yes, they take cash. Yes, they have daily, monthly, & hourly rates. Yes, there was mold on the walls. Yes, there were men just sitting outside in lawn chairs staring at us as we went into our room. Yes, we went back to the office, got our money back, and said, "No fucking way." We did not feel safe and I have like $3000 worth of equipment in my truck. Fuck. That.
But now we have an issue. We are in a small town and have NO CELL SERVICE. So how do we find a hotel? We don't have any money other than the cash she gave us and anywhere from $40 - 70 in our account, but we don't know how much because we don't know exactly how much we spent on the trip nor do we know how much is in the account as WE CAN'T CHECK OUR BANK ACCOUNT. Sigh. We go to a McDonald's because they have free wi-fi. I send a Facebook message to our daughter who puts $200 in our account so we can get a hotel. Which we do. At the Super 8. Which is REALLY nice! We settle in and then go back to Newell. The client is nowhere to be found and the beer tent thing is already closing. So we get 1 drink and a free burger that tasted like a warmed up McRib, and head back to Storm Lake to our hotel.
We order food from a place called the Pizza Ranch and it's really good. But tomorrow apparently I'm the MC for the auto show - something I didn't know. I know absolutely NOTHING about cars. Nothing at all. This is going to be fun.
By the way, my wife was with me through the whole thing. She...does not handle stress well. When she goes on trips she has everything planned out in lists. Any deviation from this is met with hyperventilation and sometimes alcohol. Today was particularly bad. At one point we were going to take the money and buy an air mattress and just sleep in the back of the truck.
Tomorrow will be interesting. If it goes sideways I'll post a part #2.