So, I am running an errand for which my wife, who will owe me immensely, I am going to the mall for her. =shudder=

On my way in a married couple are walking towards me and the husband is playfully saying "Adrian! Adrian!" a la Rocky.

This is just as we are about to pass each other, so I respond with "Cut me Mick, cut me."

And the wife spins around and screams! "See! I told you that was what he said! Thank you random stranger."

and then I entered the mall.
 
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So there's this adult-oriented website I sometimes visit that's based, apparently, in mainland China. It has one of them standard "I am 18" thingies you need to click on when you first land on the site. Except today I found that they've apparently upped their security a bit, because now instead of just clicking "I am 18", you also need to answer 5 questions about mainland China's road and driving regulations, eg "If you speed on the highway, how many points are you docked?" and "If your license is suspended, how do you get it back?"

Naturally I have no idea what the answers to any of these are, because I've never driven a car in mainland China, so there I was, googling these traffic regulations just to be able to get to my porn.
 
Oh man, it's like trying to play a video game in the 80's: "What is the tenth word of the second paragraph on page 20 in the manual?"

--Patrick
The copy protection questions in Leisure Suit Larry 1 and Leisure Suit Larry 3 are hilarious in retrospect. They were topical questions that only someone of a certain age at that time could reasonably answer. Now, some of them are hilariously outdated that you'd be lucky to know the answer, even if you were the appropriate age.
 
The copy protection questions in Leisure Suit Larry 1 and Leisure Suit Larry 3 are hilarious in retrospect. They were topical questions that only someone of a certain age at that time could reasonably answer. Now, some of them are hilariously outdated that you'd be lucky to know the answer, even if you were the appropriate age.
one of the age out questions at my work place is to identify what the "save icon" represents. (only wrong answers abound, as the 3.5" floppy diskette has not been in regular use since the late 90's) the older employees never used one, and the younger ones have never seen one.
 
So there's this adult-oriented website I sometimes visit that's based, apparently, in mainland China. It has one of them standard "I am 18" thingies you need to click on when you first land on the site. Except today I found that they've apparently upped their security a bit, because now instead of just clicking "I am 18", you also need to answer 5 questions about mainland China's road and driving regulations, eg "If you speed on the highway, how many points are you docked?" and "If your license is suspended, how do you get it back?"

Naturally I have no idea what the answers to any of these are, because I've never driven a car in mainland China, so there I was, googling these traffic regulations just to be able to get to my porn.
If they tried this in the US, so many people would be without porn. The amount of people that drive, and yet, don't know or remember the actual rules of driving is staggering.
 
If they tried this in the US, so many people would be without porn. The amount of people that drive, and yet, don't know or remember the actual rules of driving is staggering.
There are rules? I thought it just was the biggest truck gets the road. BTW, we don’t have a truck, we have a Honda Fit, so I just accelerate faster than the trucks and leave them behind.
 
If they tried this in the US, so many people would be without porn. The amount of people that drive, and yet, don't know or remember the actual rules of driving is staggering.
Yep, if the site had the equivalent questions for the regulations in Taiwan, I probably still wouldn't be able to answer them. I don't know the steps to get a driver's license unsuspended, I've never had my license suspended!
 
Yep, if the site had the equivalent questions for the regulations in Taiwan, I probably still wouldn't be able to answer them. I don't know the steps to get a driver's license unsuspended, I've never had my license suspended!
a friend once explained to me how to get normal plates returned to you after receiving a 3rd degree or higher DUI/DWI. I didnt even know there were degrees of drunken driving!
 
No but I can fax you one.
That was my guess as to how that PDF came to be.
Much like the story of someone running out of typewriter paper, so they stuck one sheet of (blank) typewriter paper onto the copier and ran off a dozen or so to resupply.

--Patrick
 
So the last two bags of M&M's I have bought have had a large disparity of orange ones, more than could reasonably be expected. I suspect foul play.

 

GasBandit

Staff member
I went to the dentist today to get a cavity filled in one of my upper canines.

Me to GF: "The root for eye teeth is so long, they had to inject the novacaine WAY up high. I can't even feel my nose!"
GF: "Oh no! Does it affect your smell, too?"
Me: "Eh, I had a shower this morning, I should still be good on that front."
 
I have a new hot male coworker but he has a feminine name (eg. Kelly or Ashley) so today when he messaged me on our company's messaging system for the first time I was all like, "Oh a new hot female coworker is messaging me!" but then I realized who it was and was all like, "Oh this is fine too."
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Me: "Hey Dad, good news, Buc-ee's is opening a new store just north of Denver!"

Dad: "Might as well be on the moon. It'd be faster for me to get to the one in Amarillo."

Me: "Oh come on it can't..."

*Flashbacks to visiting @Dei on trips back home to Colorado Springs to visit the family*

Me: "Ok, maybe that's fair."
 
Me: "Hey Dad, good news, Buc-ee's is opening a new store just north of Denver!"

Dad: "Might as well be on the moon. It'd be faster for me to get to the one in Amarillo."

Me: "Oh come on it can't..."

*Flashbacks to visiting @Dei on trips back home to Colorado Springs to visit the family*

Me: "Ok, maybe that's fair."
I feel that it would be good for the state to replace all visitor centers with Buc-ee’s at the borders.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I feel that it would be good for the state to replace all visitor centers with Buc-ee’s at the borders.
TBH I'm starting to notice cracks in the monolithic Buc-ee's facade. The Madisonville Buc-ee's is much nicer than the Waller Buc-ee's, and in the areas Buc-ee's considers to be its biggest strength - the bathrooms. I mean, it still way better than most gas station bathrooms I've used over the years... but they're no longer the shining immaculate temples to human waste elimination they once were.

Jerky's still top shelf though, and I'd still shiv strangers for Beaver Nuggets.
 
Me: "Hey Dad, good news, Buc-ee's is opening a new store just north of Denver!"

Dad: "Might as well be on the moon. It'd be faster for me to get to the one in Amarillo."

Me: "Oh come on it can't..."

*Flashbacks to visiting @Dei on trips back home to Colorado Springs to visit the family*

Me: "Ok, maybe that's fair."
It's like a 2 hour drive you baby. :D
 
They are apparently putting in a Buc-ees first NC location about 45 min from me. However, I very rarely drive anywhere near there except the occasional trip to Chapel Hill. So, I will likely not visit it whenever it finally opens.

A 2 hr drive is way out of the question for a gas station.

When I lived in OK, I was quite used to driving 3+ hrs just to get out of the state. I am spoiled now and hate being in a car. I would walk or ride a bike if I could. I think I should move to the Netherlands.
 
They are apparently putting in a Buc-ees first NC location about 45 min from me. However, I very rarely drive anywhere near there except the occasional trip to Chapel Hill. So, I will likely not visit it whenever it finally opens.

A 2 hr drive is way out of the question for a gas station.

When I lived in OK, I was quite used to driving 3+ hrs just to get out of the state. I am spoiled now and hate being in a car. I would walk or ride a bike if I could. I think I should move to the Netherlands.
Always welcome in the neighborhood!
 
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