The Random Crap Thread

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It started when one of my vegetarian friends ended up home with the flu. I wept for the senselessness of the universe, babbling about how she was never an enemy to the pigs of the world, and proceeded to yell "Piiiiiigs!" a la William Shatner's "Kaaahn!"

This has become a habit now. I encourage everyone else to express your anger in this way, any time someone mentions knowing somebody hit with H1N1.
I'm recovering from it right now... so I guess... "PIIIIIIIIGS!"
 
So I was at work last night, and I took this lady and her son's order. As I handed her change to her, she noticed my hands were shaking. I have a thing called (I think) Tremors, where the nerves in my hands are always working at least a little, and they shake constantly. Not to the point where it's a problem, and really not at Parkinson's level. More just an inconvenience and sometimes a point of frustration when I'm trying to do things.

Anyway, she notices and asks if anyone's prayed for me. At first I said "well, maybe" since my mom's side of the family is fairly religious. Then she gave me this 6-minute spiel about how praying for people is what she does and that the blood of Jesus would heal me completely if she prayed for me. Then she asked if she could pray for me right then and there.

Now, I didn't want some kind of Baptist revival in the middle of the deli, so I thanked her and told her it wasn't something I believed in myself. Just a really odd thing to happen at work.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
:rofl:

Heard some interesting conversations snippets pass by my door today:

"I broke up with her for a reason: She's a lying skunk whore."

and

"Ew, man.... I got a little bit of ball sweat here."
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
So I was at work last night, and I took this lady and her son's order. As I handed her change to her, she noticed my hands were shaking. I have a thing called (I think) Tremors, where the nerves in my hands are always working at least a little, and they shake constantly. Not to the point where it's a problem, and really not at Parkinson's level. More just an inconvenience and sometimes a point of frustration when I'm trying to do things.

Anyway, she notices and asks if anyone's prayed for me. At first I said "well, maybe" since my mom's side of the family is fairly religious. Then she gave me this 6-minute spiel about how praying for people is what she does and that the blood of Jesus would heal me completely if she prayed for me. Then she asked if she could pray for me right then and there.

Now, I didn't want some kind of Baptist revival in the middle of the deli, so I thanked her and told her it wasn't something I believed in myself. Just a really odd thing to happen at work.

I can certainly relate... I am a hefty, tall guy, and recently when I was doing my grocery shopping, I noticed that there was this tiny elderly woman who was trying to pick up a sixpack of beer from a stack that was higher than she was. Now, being an ex-boy scout and generally someone who believes in being helpful, I went to her, put down my groceries and lifted a sixpack down for her.

She thanked me and as we went to the cashiers (who were about six feet away), she started going "Oh, you know if you were a little leaner, you would be so healthy, such a fine young man you would be. You know, just a little leaner, a little lither" on and on and on.

Now, I know full well I am fat. Not big-boned, not having a glandular problem. Fat. I'm working on it, I know about it. I'm getting enough grief about it from my mom (who lost a lot of weight in her fifties because of health problems), from school, from my doctor, from every frickin' Greatest Loser-or-similar show on telly. I don't need to be told that by some old lady I helped out in the store.

God, I was so close to telling her to shut up and putting the sixpack back on the stack. I guess she didn't realize it wasn't her place to start telling me about "how healthy I would be if I were a little lighter".
 

Cajungal

Staff member
:( That's just hurtful.

Similar situation. When I was at my heaviest, my boyfriend's grandmother confronted me at a wedding shower while I was eating a finger sandwich:

"You'd better slow down or you're gonna get even bigger."

:( Come on now, lady. That really bugs me--when being overweight automatically gets you stared at simply for eating as much as a person of a more average weight. WE EAT TOO. We have to, just like you thin people. Turns out Jake's dad went to her house and chewed her out when he heard about it later that day. But yeah, I was so embarrassed, that's around the time I started losing serious weight.
 
RAMPANT I TELL YOU.

So, ladies, when are you all going to finally lose those final 10 pounds, huh? The forum'd do better with fitter, leaner girls to promote it. It's all your fault, young and not-so-young women!

That negative enoguh for you?


...I ....I didn't mean to hurt you! Please don't cry! Sorry! Sorry!

...Shego? Shego, put down the...aaaaah!

(really, kidding. I think you all look mighty fine as far as I know!)
 
RAMPANT I TELL YOU.

So, ladies, when are you all going to finally lose those final 10 pounds, huh? The forum'd do better with fitter, leaner girls to promote it. It's all your fault, young and not-so-young women!
*cuts off breasts*

There. 10 lbs lighter.

Heehee! <3 you Bubbs
 
No more drowning in bosom during the hugs? My life has lost all meaning. I will now go and dye my hair black and write poetry about the nothingness that is my soul. (where's that emo emoticon when you need it?)
 
T

TotalFusionOne

Yeah I've lost 30lbs in the last 3 months. So I've gone from this:

End of July


to this:

Beginning of November.

People treat you a lot differently the more weight you lose. Coming down off of a high of 270 last year to 258 in that July picture was a shock. People just... Were more friendly. Talked to me more. Were NICER. A whole hell of a bunch nicer. Now, I don't know how much things have changed since the July thing til now because I've moved from Florida to NC now... Maybe the people are just nicer here. But I'm starting to get even MORE people randomly walking up to me and striking up conversations.

HOWEVER I've noticed that people have been LESS likely to let me help them. I, too, like to help out where I can. Offering to carry groceries and get items off of shelves. When I was fat people let me do it all the time. Now it seems like they're suspicious of me.

End randomness.
 
T

TotalFusionOne

I have a fear of people masturbating to my excessively hairy chest.

Plus you can see the weight loss more in my face than my body, considering all I wear is black shirts.
 
I've been losing weight myself, but it all seems to be coming off my hips/thighs, not my stomach or face. It's annoying that all of my pants keep falling off if I don't wear a belt, but it's MORE annoying that I still look THE FUCKING SAME. But then again, I seem to be the only one who thinks I look the same so I dunno...
 
T

TotalFusionOne

I think when people get it into their heads that you're "Overweight" they make it worse in their minds than it actually is and therefore it's a surprise when you show up and you're smaller than the picture they've made up in their minds.

Surprisingly, the opposite rule applies when it's a guy thinking about banging a fat chick he had a couple of months ago
 
HOWEVER I've noticed that people have been LESS likely to let me help them. I, too, like to help out where I can. Offering to carry groceries and get items off of shelves. When I was fat people let me do it all the time. Now it seems like they're suspicious of me.

End randomness.
they know you are able to run off with their stuff. Or try and seduce them with your sexy bod.


Goodnight halforums! Wish me luck on my test tomorrow! Also the homework due later that day! And on finding a job!

Or any combination of those.
 
K

Kitty Sinatra

That mouse could possibly be freaking sweet for an RTS game.

Anyway, I found my missing Guide to the Galaxy . . . on my kitchen table.
 
Mav sent me a green lantern ring for that mini contest he did. I was in the grocery store for about 5 minute before I remembered that I was still wearing it on my pinky finger.

I can't wait for this to happen to me at a party.
 
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