The Random Crap Thread

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Rob King

Rob King

Have you ever seen a wild Bologna? Well, have you? No. You haven't. You couldn't have. Those eyes.

I remember ... I thought I had it cornered. But it came from the bushes. It brutalized me, and left me there ... stalked back into the woods. He didn't even bother to try and eat me ... his kill. Like he wanted me to live. Like he wanted me to remember him. The sheer terror. The pain.

You think you could do better? That Bologna wouldn't leave you alive, Fade. I don't know why he left me. Sometimes I tell myself that he respected me, that it was important that he beat me, and that needed me to know that he beat me. But next time ... dammit next time we'll be eating fancy for supper.

Here. Take the badge. S'not worth much anyway. As for the 'pik. I'm going to need that. I'm not giving that up. You'll have to take it, and then ... then you might as well throw me in the cage while you're at it.

I won't make this suspension easy.

*stalks out of the office*
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
*deep shadows*

*a man standing before a window, watching a blizzard*

*cellphone rings. The man answers in a foreign language. Subtitles appear*

The man: No mitä?
(Yes?)

Voice in the cellphone: Se mulkero on toipunut krapulasta.
(Our enemy has revealed himself.)

*close-up of the man's face, shadows hiding his features. He tilts his head*

Man: Hankkikaa piletit. Lähden heti.
(Prep the jet. I'll leave right away.)

Voice in Phone: Ookoo.
(It will be done.)

*the man hangs up. Camera shifts to a chair where a flash of lightning reveals a pair of jeans. A hand reaches for them and pulls them off-screen*

The Man: And so it begins.

*zips up, thunder and lightning*
 
Rob King

Rob King

I realized yesterday how absurd FOX News headlines happen.

I had just dropped off my suit to the dry cleaner's, and was playing with the hanger that I had left over as I walked home. I ended up wrapping the hanger around my forearm and continued walking, content to leave it there. Then I passed a terrified looking lady who shuffled past while very obviously avoiding my eyes.

I am a 110kg, 6', unshaven man with unkempt hair, just getting off work, wearing a hoodie whilst walking through a questionable neighborhood.

I can see the headline: "Clothes Hanger: new gang symbol, or lethal weapon in the wrong hands? More at 11."
 
Calleja

Calleja

I was gonna say "yeah, that's ok" but then I noticed that's an A and not an O.... my brain just assumed it was. No, "muertos" is masculine, so it should be "los". That being said, the holiday is actually referred to as just "Día de Muertos", no "los" necessary.
 
D

Dusty668

361 random nouns.
Knowledge, Tiger, Boss, Numeric,Plier
Mosquito
Magnet
Bed
Cycle
Solid
Cappuccino
Meteor
Album
Pillow
Meat
Button
Leg
Grapes
Coach
Prison
Room
Millisecond
Navy
Insect
Spot Light
Pepper
Sun
Domain
Bathtub
Electricity
Game
Meter
Bathroom
Bottle
Tennis
Ghana
Kettledrum
Shop
Surname
Snowflake
Typewriter
Feather
Compact Disc
Bomb
Kitchen
Tunnel
Drink
Cause
Parachute
Worm
Mouth
Eyes
Weapon
Sandpaper
Sandwich
Hat
Carrot
Snail
Sunglasses
Ice
Tapestry
Map
Tramp
Session
Dress
Aeroplane
Chisel
Skeleton
Festival
Ship
Church
Invoice
Circle
Potato
Gloves
Gearshift
Videotape
Swan
Arm
Torpedo
Bridge
Pebble
Drum
Restaurant
Money
Circus
Satin
Train
Balloon
Bowl
Violet
Cent
Circus
Nail
Salt
Thermometer
Foot
Car-race
Rock
Brain
Ring
Pump
Rifle
Bank
Encyclopedia
Library
Kaleidoscope
Saddle
God
Planet
Printer
Shadow
Chess Board
Restaurant
PaintBrush
Airport
Vampire
Car
Knife
Yugoslavian
Jet fighter
School
Vacuum
Boy
Diamond
Structure
Radar
Sandra
Necklace
Imprisonment
Stomach
Cup
Part
Comet
Spectrum
Hieroglyph
Family
Backpack
Pyramid
Sports-car
Spruce
Floodlight
Bee
Liquid
Sword
Bed
Sex
Church
Step-daughter
Sun
Highway
Sphere
Cylinder
Hammer
Shoes
Children
Tongue
Drill
Compass
Mist
Window
Rocket
Earth
Needle
Toilet
Water
Wheelchair
Gas
Card
Chin
Cave
Kohlrabi
Surveyor
October
Baby
Ice-cream
Freeway
Satellite
Great-grandfather
Fungus
Monster
Coffee
Deadline
Finger
Shampoo
Aircraft Carrier
Haircut
Data Base
Bible
Carpet
Ears
License
Bible
Man
Beetle
Box
Slave
Chief
Shower
Dress
Richard
Pendulum
Film
Maze
Passport
Teeth
Alphabet
Apple
Pajama
Group
Horoscope
Clown
Bird
X-ray
Leather jacket
Treadmill
Spice
Step-grandmother
Onion
Sound
Eraser
Okra
Hose
Crystal
Turkey
Rope
Television
Child
Fork
Barbecue
Dung
Yew
Vulture
Space Shuttle
Rainbow
Square
Robot
Air
Channel
Post-office
Computer
Airforce
Market
Milk
Glove
Army
Ceiling
Liver
Hallway
Fire
Request
Staircase
Window
Butterfly
Star
Explosive
Garden
Egg
Flower
Fan
Signature
Destruction
Roof
Bulb
Mirror
Gemstone
Baby
Violet
Adult
Arrow
Chocolates
Whiskey
Gate
Plane
Pants
Leg
Elephant
Coffee-shop
Book
Junk
Web
Carrot
Decrease
Umbrella
Spoon
Spiral
Torch
Propane
Woman
Microscope
Guitar
Banana
Pocket
Clock
Desk
System
Software
Cement
Thought
Select
Perfume
Swimming Pool
Chair
Harp
Table
Record
Territory
Telescope
Girl
Ant
Milkshake
Hardware
Fruit
Horse
Triangle
Headlight
 
HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Did you know, that on this day in history in 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit?
 
K

Kitty Sinatra

HCGLNS said:
Did you know, that on this day in history in 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit?
Click to expand...
That'd make a lousy premise for a cheesy TV show.
 
fade

fade

Staff member
UNLESS the leader smoked a huge cigar. And let's throw in a shell-shocked guy and huge dude who's afraid of flying. Make one of 'em black, and it's go-time.
 
K

Kitty Sinatra

It's a horrible idea . . . though I think it could be saved with a sea monster costume.
 
fade

fade

Staff member
You know what's weird? I just thought of it this weekend. I've known some of you (GB, Crone, etc) for six years now. And I've never even laid eyes on you. Wiggy.
 
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