[Venting] Would You Get Back With Your Ex?

[Thread Necromancer]

If this crashes and burns,

If it crashes and burns you have to go through all the hell you went through before, again, this time multiplied because it's happening AGAIN.

 

[Jiarn]

Is there any particular reason you've taken a liking to showering me with negativity Null?

First negative repping me for being an overly caring and cautious parent. Now for trying to salvage a relationship with the mother of said children?

Did I shoot your dog or something?

If it crashes and burns you have to go through all the hell you went through before, again, this time multiplied because it's happening AGAIN.

That would be if I invested as much as I did the first time. The first time I invested my entire being within 3 months. This time it'll take alot more and alot longer than that for me to get in that deep again.

 

[Null]

Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know. You aren't being a caring parent, you're being a crazy distrustful dictator. And salvage, yeah, I guess that is right term for digging up something that's been at the bottom of the ocean for 8 years. And one of the issues that let to your divorce was your body fat percentage? Seriously?

 

[Jiarn]

Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know.

Wow. Just wow.

 

[Null]

Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know.

Wow. Just wow.[/QUOTE]

Well rebutted. Let me ask you something... when your milk in the fridge goes sour, do you try and drink it again after 8 years?

 

[Math242]

heh, you do whatever you want to do. You asked for advice.

In the end, we don't know you, we're not shrinks... So if your mind is already set on doing it, sure go ahead. But be careful because those fairy tales stories of getting back together rarely end well.

good luck

 

[Element 117]

Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know.

Wow. Just wow.[/QUOTE]

Well rebutted. Let me ask you something... when your milk in the fridge goes sour, do you try and drink it again after 8 years?[/QUOTE]

Don't drink that person!

 

[Chibibar]

Null, people do change.

I am not the same person I am now 10 years ago. I still have my "standard" quirks like playing video games and such, but I am also more responsible of my action and my family. Time can change people when they want to change.

Now for Jairn, it is possible the women you fell in love with and have a child with CAN change, but you won't know until you explore that. Take it slow and see how things go. You have one extra hurdle which is your child. You and your ex need to establish that no matter what happen, your best interest is for the child. You both have to agree if it doesn't work out, don't go "break down" on each other. Even if you don't let the child know, kid knows things. Also if the 2nd break up is bad (for whatever reason) don't let it influence the visitation of the child and stuff like that. It is going to be interesting experience. If everything DO work out, it is a win win for all, but do keep in mind it COULD not work out since y'all did split up in the first place.

(in case things don't work out)
My parents divorce for years, but one thing they taught me is that never speak ill of the other parents with the child. While my parents argue with each other when they are together, they never speak badly of each other toward me and my sister. I think that is important in my book.

 

[Necronic]

Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know. You aren't being a caring parent, you're being a crazy distrustful dictator. And salvage, yeah, I guess that is right term for digging up something that's been at the bottom of the ocean for 8 years. And one of the issues that let to your divorce was your body fat percentage? Seriously?

Dude, it's not like you have given any advice. The people earlier gave advice. You, you're just saying "it's a bad idea and you're an idiot." That's not advice. If you want to whip on someone, go for it. But don't expect to be considered anything but the world's largest douchebag if you do it in a thread about confusing personal stuff like this. It's kind of like the Sunday morning ceasefire that they have on the street (thank you Wire).

Edit: Oh yeah, and to Jiarn, just realize the level of risk you are taking. Because if after you peel the bannanna and diddle that skittle, you may realize that you aren't into her like you think. It's not your fault to have those feelings change, it is literally part of what makes us guys, but it is your fault if you walk into it not realizing the potential for that.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

Null, people do change.

I am not the same person I am now 10 years ago. I still have my "standard" quirks like playing video games and such, but I am also more responsible of my action and my family. Time can change people when they want to change.

Sometimes people don't want to change. Sometimes the little "standard quirks" are the things that drove you apart in the first place. It's naive to blindly believe that anything has changed in either person. Change is possible, but not entirely likely.

 

[Chibibar]

Null, people do change.

I am not the same person I am now 10 years ago. I still have my "standard" quirks like playing video games and such, but I am also more responsible of my action and my family. Time can change people when they want to change.

Sometimes people don't want to change. Sometimes the little "standard quirks" are the things that drove you apart in the first place. It's naive to blindly believe that anything has changed in either person. Change is possible, but not entirely likely.[/QUOTE]

I know, that is why my personal advice is to go slow. It is usually the little things that drive families apart, but sometimes some little things can change cause of age, situations, or just plain grow up.
I use to be a total ass when I was a kid. I could care less out anyone except myself. That has certainly change. I am not longer that bratty kid.

 

[Jiarn]

(in case things don't work out)
My parents divorce for years, but one thing they taught me is that never speak ill of the other parents with the child. While my parents argue with each other when they are together, they never speak badly of each other toward me and my sister. I think that is important in my book.

In the 8 years we were split, we never did that as it was. That wouldn't change at all. Thank you though.

Is the main and primary reason to get back together with your ex out of love for her, or because it would be "good for the kids". If the latter: don't do it. Wanting to add the kids in this so early makes it seem you are more wanting a "family" than getting back with your ex. Would you still be interested in getting back with your ex if there were no kids involved?

Bringing kids back into a relationship with your ex early on can end very badly. First you get their hopes up, then, if it fails (again), you destroy them. If you are truly serious about getting back with your EX just be with your ex alone, sans children, for a good long while. It has been years. You need to actually date each other again. Exclude the kids in the conversations too. Don't be a parenting couple again, because you're not. You have to get to know each other again, not have endless conversations on how "Timmy got a B in math this week" and "Sarah is learning to play the piano" where she replies she misses them so.

Going into this for the wrong reasons and insisting to add the kids in this so soon could mentally destroy your children if this fails after a few months. If you care so much about them, you know it is better to exclude them for the time being until you are both sure this could work.

I'm trying to figure out where and when I stated that I was doing this for the kids or that I was going to involve them at any early stage in these talks with my ex.... Though I do appreciate your concern and your passion for the subject. The reasons for this, is, because I felt a spark being around her that I haven't felt in a long time. On a personal level, not a family level.

 

[Jiarn]

This weekend confirmed that a romantic relationship is completely out the window. Though what we did take from it, is the ability to be friends and be more communicative in the future when it comes to the kids.

 

[Cheesy1]

Sorry, man. I understand how much you wanted it to work out, I do.

 

[IronBrig4]

I'm sorry, man. It was probably for the best but I know it still sucks.

In the meantime...

 

[Jiarn]

I actually drank more AROUND her than not.

 

[Officer_Charon]

Its good that you can agree to be friends, or at least friendly. I see far too many families with "baby-mama drama," and all it does is hurt and warp the kids to the point that I know I'll be seeing them again, later on down the road.

In response to the posted question... which ex would this be? A good portion of mine have not been... stable.
Were it not for my wife, I might question my taste in women. *grins*

Maybe it's me...

 

[sixpackshaker]

^good save OC