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I just need to prove that @GasBandit is a heathen.

This is persecution >_<

It mostly depends on how much time I have.
The less time I have, the more I will treat it like a stick of jerky rather than a Twizzler Pull 'N' Peel.

...but the proper way to eat it is to let it dry out a little so that when you bite into it, the cheese makes, like, a little squeaking sound as your teeth sink into it.

--Patrick

Dei said:

I just need to prove that @GasBandit is a heathen.

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That's a given.

PEEL THE CHEESE, YOU DEGENERATE!

Celt Z said:

PEEL THE CHEESE, YOU DEGENERATE!

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YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY REAL MOM

Both ways, depending on how I'm feeling.

MindDetective said:

Both ways, depending on how I'm feeling.

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Kinky

I voted for "just bite into it" because just let people eat how they want to. But I almost voted for Other, because "fried and dipped in marinara sauce" wasn't an option.

"not, because you're eating something unnatural"

Bubble181 said:

"not, because you're eating something unnatural"

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It is just mozzarella cheese.

At first I was:

MindDetective said:

Both ways, depending on how I'm feeling.

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But now I'm:

figmentPez said:

I voted for "just bite into it" because just let people eat how they want to. But I almost voted for Other, because "fried and dipped in marinara sauce" wasn't an option.

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You peel and eat it. It's why it's made the way it is. Otherwise just buy a big fucking hunk of cheese and go to town.

Dave said:

just buy a big fucking hunk of cheese and go to town.

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You say that like you think I haven't actually done that at some point.

--Patrick

This local cheese maker has a buffalo style cheese and I had to stop buying it because it just wouldn't last a day

I voted other because it is just cheese, it doesn’t matter how you eat it as long as you enjoy the process.

Steak Wars 2: String Cheese Boogaloo

Just bite it. If I have salami around I like to wrap it in salami and then bite in to it.

Shakey said:

Just bite it. If I have salami around I like to wrap it in salami and then bite in to it.

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yes! i mean they literally sell similar products premade - i doubt youre expected to pull them apart

Disturbing, but I’m vegetarian

This poll is closer than I would have expected

Cut into chunks, eat one chunk at a time, preferably with turkey sausage sticks cut in similar fashion.

See, I'm with @Dave that the point of string cheese is that you can peel it. If you're just biting chunks then invest in some much better cheeses.

Mmmmm....cheese.....

....damn. Now I want to go over to The Cheese Cave and get some espresso-rubbed Barely Buzzed. Or Drunken Goat. Or maybe a brie and some fresh mozzarella...

The Cheesestapo will not prevent us from chomping the cheese!

Man most of the time I just don't want cheesy fingers

GasBandit said:

Steak Wars 2: String Cheese Boogaloo

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I’ll tell you what’s going to happen, this thread is going to devolve into:
-People who eat string cheese with seasoned salt/chili powder like some Atkins’ version of Lik-M-Aid
-People building gingerbread houses BUT they’re actually log cabins made of mozz stix glued together with Easy Cheese
-People who dice their string cheese up with Slim Jims and pretzel rods and serve it up with mustard as ”salad”

...I mean, who knows what we’ll see?

—Patrick

Dave said:

You peel and eat it. It's why it's made the way it is. Otherwise just buy a big fucking hunk of cheese and go to town.

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It is a snack sized portion of mozzarella. Nothin more to it, really.

It's a snack size version of some cheese that sort of resembles mozzarella, but is a lot blander.

What kind of shit face Gabon raping donkey riding weasel sniffing fudge stealing bacon burning football huffing ankle licking cheeto felching yee hawing Chrissy was the best roomate thinking Mary Anne hating where am I going with this Seinfeld is better than Cheers thinking Prequel loving dog hitting ostrich fucking we need a frigging Ghostbusters II loving worm wiggling Night Court denying sunburnt Mexican touching Shatner stealing plague ridden horologist thinks you just don't peel string cheese?

Cut a bunch of them lengthwise , bread them, then deep fry until golden. Cheap, perfect mozz sticks.

AshburnerX said:

Cut a bunch of them lengthwise , bread them, then deep fry until golden. Cheap, perfect mozz sticks.

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We have a winner.

He's a grown man and my boyfriend, so he eats them how I tell him to eat them.

Emrys said:

He's a grown man and my boyfriend, so he eats them how I tell him to eat them.

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Orally, I hope.

--Patrick

figmentPez said:

fried and dipped in marinara sauce

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Also a valid answer:

PatrThom said:

Orally, I hope.

--Patrick

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Are you wanting to join @Bubble181 in the corner?

Emrys said:

Are you wanting to join @Bubble181 in the corner?

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There's always room over here!

Emrys said:

Are you wanting to join @Bubble181 in the corner?

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Dexpends, did he clean up after himself? How’s the WiFi?

—Patrick

PatrThom said:

Dexpends, did he clean up after himself? How’s the WiFi?

—Patrick

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I got cabled internet here to avoid any issues with interference from the walls. What's the point of sitting in the corner if you can't take advantage of the walls?
Cleaning up, though, that's @Doomweasel minion 's job... But it seems he's always busy over in the :3 thread