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Here's the chart in case you need help.


Also, I was going to post this on your wall, ElJuski, but Courtney would have seen it.

Well now we all want to know who Courtney is.

lol, having a Courtney in there gets TOO specific.

It really should start off with "Have you been drinking Andre, ElJuski?"

Espy said:

Well now we all want to know who Courtney is.

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And I'm going to leave that for him to clarify if he wants.

BananaHands said:

And I'm going to leave that for him to clarify if he wants.

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If I demand it do you think he'll comply due to the authority of my tone?

Hey man, a bottle of Cold Duck Andre in under 8 minutes is a pretty reasonable feat of alcoholism!

But anyways, Courtney...



I'm like, in awe that some random fucking drunk chart would be so fine tuned to my emotional anguish.

You are a tragic figure juice.

I drink cheap champagne because once, when I was 18 to 21, I was madly in love with a hot blonde. We even made friends with a seal, once!

Ah, as someone who has been 18-21 and in love with a hot blond I feel your pain. I can't comment on the seal thing. I generally avoid seals, since they tend to be dicks.

That seal looks like a pretty cool dude. Did you take him clubbing?

Courtney's from the female version of the chart.. You know, the "pukey drunk."

They just didn't get to her in the song because they stopped when Stacy was missing.

Happy drunk for sure.

I tend to be MUCH more outgoing and friendly when I've enjoyed a few. Which btw hasn't happened (outside of my daily wine here at home) since last year.... ugh.

Where's the option for slutty drunk?

Well I'd have gone with that if it were up there. Obviously.

I guess I can make a better version of this to include some obvious choices.

Maybe I just use alcohol as an excuse more than what it "does" to me heh....

HowDroll said:

Where's the option for slutty drunk?

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It was in the video.

The Drunkest One
The Slut
Someone's Cousin
The Missing Girl
(they stop there, but I'd go on to include)
Pukey
The Talker
The Mother Hen (AKA the "We Gotta Go" girl)
The Designated
Turns Into a Guy
probably a few more.

I'm thinking an "Are you on the internet?" question should be asked. Also, "Have you been drinking tequila?" should go to a "Wild Drunk". Is your phone on you ---> Are you texting your ex?

Let's Chug! -----> Hey, how you doin'? -----> Slutty Drunk

BananaHands said:

I'm thinking an "Are you on the internet?" question should be asked. Also, "Have you been drinking tequila?" should go to a "Wild Drunk". Is your phone on you ---> Are you texting your ex?

Let's Chug! -----> Hey, how you doin'? -----> Slutty Drunk

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Is Glenn Beck on? ----> flip over the fucking coffee table -----> make tater tots

ElJuski said:

Is Glenn Beck on? ----> flip over the fucking coffee table -----> make tater tots

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That was ONCE.
Added at: 22:19
And those tater tots were delicious.

Obama wins the election -----> bang a terrible person

ElJuski said:

Obama wins the election -----> bang a terrible person

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I don't know if I like how this thread is turning out.

I was just hoping you'd have responded with: Bang a katamari........twice

Bang a katamari --> Say that "Well, I'm no (name of last guy she slept with who actually lived in that room before ElJuski did) ---> Somehow manage to do it again.

you forget the whole bit where I passed out stone cold on top of her like she wasn't even there
Added at: 22:27
BUT THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME GUYS

Get drunk in St. Louis ---> End up at a high school party ---> End up dragging a knife-toting lesbian out of the party while she's kicking and screaming because she tackles a larger girl ---> Convince ElJuski to sleep with the blonde so his couch opens up. ----> Wake up to a scream-fest.

HowDroll said:

Where's the option for slutty drunk?

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This.

Somehow I don't think this is a handy guide any more.

BananaHands said:

Get drunk in St. Louis ---> End up at a high school party ---> End up dragging a knife-toting lesbian out of the party while she's kicking and screaming because she tackles a larger girl ---> Convince ElJuski to sleep with the blonde so his couch opens up. ----> Wake up to a scream-fest.

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Everyone wakes up sleeping huddled together on the living room floor.

You also forgot the part with the ghost.

ElJuski said:

I drink cheap champagne because once, when I was 18 to 21, I was madly in love with a hot blonde. We even made friends with a seal, once!

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Did you all go "clubbing" later?

I would be "Annoying Drunk," which is why I hardly ever drink anymore.

As a side note, I have two bottles of vodka and I'm working through one right now.

I'm looking at you Shegs.

I don't know what I am, given that I've never been drunk past the point of ''slightly tipsy''. But if I had to guess, I'm probably the hungry drunk.

I never really answered, but I usually ride the line between a happy drunk and a crazy drunk.

I get sleepy with booze. Sleepier and sleepier.

But the little woman... she's like the lyrics from "baby's all liqoured up" by the Beat Farmers.

Unless there's whiskey involved. Then I become "Whiskey Greg". And then gloves are off.

and then coffee tables, yadda yadda.

Or you might steal the girl I was into

I'm completely a happy drunk. I'm a nonstop high-fiving machine.

BananaHands said:

Unless there's whiskey involved. Then I become "Whiskey Greg". And then gloves are off.

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Back in school, we had a friend we called "Macho Super Greg" when he got drunk. We even made him a special shirt at the mall t-shirt shop.. had a big "MSG" superhero logo on the front. He suddenly became the most interesting man in the world, and he'd dance with short, short chicks (he was like 6'1) by picking them up and swaying them back and forth to the music. And this was not slow music.

ElJuski said:

and then coffee tables, yadda yadda.

Or you might steal the girl I was into

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Yeah, that's just what you needed. An emotionally unstable woman with a biological clock ticking and a younger sister about to get married.

BananaHands said:

Yeah, that's just what you needed. An emotionally unstable woman with a biological clock ticking and a younger sister about to get married.

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The doin' it woulda been nice :I
Added at: 00:40
You know what's funny about her, though, is the awkward conversation when I was leaving for DC and her saying "Youllllll be baccckkk." Also her constant nagging about--gasp--Courtney.

Hell, as long as she stopped talking about me.

And the doin' it was about as wild as Slowpoke.

Hungry/sleepy/happy/slutty, plus my face becomes incredible animated.

I guess I'll say "happy drunk" but the chart needs "annoying drunk" as that's a much better description. I'm amazed I've never been punched in the face.

I'm going to go get drunk and make a new chart. We'll continue this tomorrow.

Motor mouth drunk. I do not shut the fuck up.

Or I get weepy, usually it's weepy when I drink with my brothers. We all get weepy together.

BananaHands said:

Unless there's whiskey involved. Then I become "Whiskey Greg". And then gloves are off.

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Whiskey Greg is fun. But I don't remember gloves being involved?

A mix of happy and adventurous (sup dude, ya drinking? Awesome! Let's go swimming!)

After a point a mix of happy/sleepy/hungry.


I also develop a hankering for truths. What do you REALLY think of such and such situation.

The end of the night turns into not knowing how to initiate a booty call, mostly due to lack of on demand booty. So I guess I'll call it a sad Internet porn drunk.

Greg, make sure you add Beggs into the equation.

I'm definitely a hungry drunk. Some guys have college stories of waking up next to strange women after a bender; I woke up with Whopper wrappers and ketchup on my mouth.

Shegokigo said:

Maybe I just use alcohol as an excuse more than what it "does" to me heh....

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I'm sure no one else does that... and by no one i mean everyone.

I'm an angry depressive drunk.

AKA: I'll play Dragon Age 2.

I just thought all those were just phases of the evening...

sixpackshaker said:

I just thought all those were just phases of the evening...

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If the evening is done right they are! Though I am almost always a happy drunk, with things generally getting progressively more slutty and adventurous. Considering that my usual and sober drive home most days exceeds 100mph the drunken ideas can veer from adventurous to downright stupid to how-the-hell-are-we-still-alive?

Now y'all have me itching for a bottle of Dogfish Head Brown Honey Rum!

Drunk again.

I don't listen to/watch anything anymore. I'M A FUCKING SHUT IN!

I don't get it, but then I haven't watched the simpsons since I was like, 10...

I heard Juice went into a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.

that fat fuck...

Don't worry, Juice. I still choo-choo-choose you.

Allen who is Quiet said:

Don't worry, Juice. I still choo-choo-choose you.

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Never been. Not sufficiently interested in discovering who lives there.

--Patrick

If I get enough drinks, I'm... all of these. One after the other. Also slutty and pukey and all the other mentioned options* not in the chart.

*basic options, not bananahands and Juski madness options

I know when I'm drunk, because I stop speaking English.

Which is my first language. Weird.

Only ONCE have I gotten angry drunk, and that was from basically stealing a platter of Red-Headed Sluts from the server, after having consumed 2 pitchers of beer.

I... was not a moderate person in the Corps, on the rare occasions I would go out.

So is this the new drunk thread? Cause I'm that and I need a home. I'm cold and there are wolves after me.

This one I like and I keep

I pretty much go either of two ways when I'm drinking... which, admittedly, is rarely and never to the point of dead-drunkenness. I had that worked out on me when I was fourteen and saw one drunken classmate lie in his own vomit and the ball-crushing, determined female classmate turn into a weeping, vomiting little girl who let a random guy feel up her ass. No, that random guy wasn't me. But I digress...

In company where I don't really know that many people or am there just because we happen to be in the same organization/job/etc. ... a lonely, melancholy drunk who just wants the night to be over.

In company where I know the people I'm with and who I count as friends... a jovial, even somewhat randy drunk.

I've asked several people and they all seem to agree,My mood doesn't change much at all when I drink. I just get more talkative.

Starting early.