I'm home alone, I've done pretty much all of the chores I needed to be doing yesterday and the day before; I've even played a bit of computer games. Frankly, for the first time in a long time, there's nothing or no-one I need to take into account or mind or have to do but am pushing ahead or whatever. I should be free to do whatever I like. I'm not particularly sick or ill at the moment (a bit of sniffles but nothing serious). This should be a good day.
Instead, I've been sitting at my desk, starting up and closing down computer games, reading facebook and all kinds of media, and I just. don't. care. about. any. of. it. The most positive thing I've done today is stare at the wall for about half an hour. I hate my mind and the way it works. I'm just sitting here feeling guilty for not doing something useful (though, short of "big" things there's nothing that really needs doing right now), feeling sorry for myself for not enjoying my free time, being angry at myself for not enjoying myself now because of course tomorrow I have to work again, and in general just feeling crappy. Blegh.