Y'know, if you really do "hate yourself" over this, then sure - I'd be concerned for you. But if that was a deadpan delivery of sarcasm, then keep on keepin' on, man. We've got people driving trucks through crowded celebrations, completely fucked up political bullshit on both sides of the pond, and some serious public health concerns pretty much everywhere. The least worrying thing I've come across all day is someone having a sugar daddy relationship with a perfectly legally consenting adult.
Not that you need my approval for anything.