Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!

I just remembered there was a guy at work a few years ago that would say my joke I just had said, I guess too quietly, and get big laughs every time. I dunno if we were just on the same brainwave a lot and he had also not heard it but the first time it happened I think I could have believed that, but it happened so often there is almost no way it was just a coincidence every time.

It bothered me, yet at the same time confirmed something I'd always known about myself, that I was a writer, not a performer.
 
I just remembered there was a guy at work a few years ago that would say my joke I just had said, I guess too quietly, and get big laughs every time. I dunno if we were just on the same brainwave a lot and he had also not heard it but the first time it happened I think I could have believed that, but it happened so often there is almost no way it was just a coincidence every time.

It bothered me, yet at the same time confirmed something I'd always known about myself, that I was a writer, not a performer.
 
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Oh fuck, I remember when I was a fresh rookie living in the rookie group housing way up north, middle of winter, power in town goes out. Whole town is dark. Well, it's -40 out with a windchill of nearly double that so you know, we're in fucking trouble. It was time to batton down the hatches. We nailed blankets to every window, in every doorway etc to try to keep what little heat we had inside. It took like 45 minutes and by that point we were huddled together in about 6 layers of blankets.

Very grateful that was super duper rare (only happened once).
 
If any of you are ever invited to a wedding, send in the RSVP the day you get the invitation. Such a pain in the ass wrangling these up.
I had my dad text his family members that didn’t RSVP and one of them said he was “probably coming.” Like, the save the dates went out over 6 months ago and the invitations themselves a month and a half ago. The invitations explicitly say to send them back by August 6th (attentive readers might notice that’s two days from now).

When I brought this up to my dad he told me that “People have lives and issues. They can’t always fit your time line.”

I don’t believe he’s having a major crisis. I just think this wasn’t particularly important to him and he didn’t think about it for the months he’s known this was coming. I have literally never met this person in my life and couldn’t care less if he’s there or not. I just need an answer becuase there are a million logistical questions that depend on what the guest count is.
 
I know your pain. Our wedding party is now planned for October, and...well, I have no idea if there'll be 100 or 300 people.
Last time we sent the RSVPs and so on, there were...15? 18? Aunts/uncles/cousins on my wife's father's side who hadn't answered even after repeated direct messages and so on. They literally never replied until they got our "it's been cancelled due to covid" message, to which they somehow managed to reply within the hour. Fuckers.
The lot of them are invited again, and it's really against my better judgement to keep the peace. When my SIL got married, they gave €5....as a joined gift of 8 people, 3 households. I frankly find that offensive (they're absolutely not poor or restricted financially. If some of my world travelling, no house, no job friends give me €5 I don't mind), but...Keep the peace. Now that the grandfather o nthat side has died, it's probably the last time I'll have to see these people in my life and I won't mind.
 
I would consider 5€ (Or whatever the USD equivalent is) to be an incredibly cheap gift, and more insulting than nothing at all. Maybe it’s different in Europe but I give $50 per guest the gift is “from” at the minimum.
 
I had my dad text his family members that didn’t RSVP and one of them said he was “probably coming.” Like, the save the dates went out over 6 months ago and the invitations themselves a month and a half ago. The invitations explicitly say to send them back by August 6th (attentive readers might notice that’s two days from now).

When I brought this up to my dad he told me that “People have lives and issues. They can’t always fit your time line.”

I don’t believe he’s having a major crisis. I just think this wasn’t particularly important to him and he didn’t think about it for the months he’s known this was coming. I have literally never met this person in my life and couldn’t care less if he’s there or not. I just need an answer becuase there are a million logistical questions that depend on what the guest count is.

I would consider 5€ (Or whatever the USD equivalent is) to be an incredibly cheap gift, and more insulting than nothing at all. Maybe it’s different in Europe but I give $50 per guest the gift is “from” at the minimum.
dude I have been on the receiving end of these, and I always feel like an asshole saying no, don't expect me, because my friends who have gotten married are always like "you really aren't coming? what about sending a gift?" dog, I haven't talked to you since middle school, you sent me a rsvp and I can appreciate it that, but no and no. I have a standing rule that just assume I'm a no for all social obligations unless there is literally no way I can avoid it. Yes, I realize what that sounds like, I don't like people, and covid has made me fiercely antisocial. You did nothing wrong, but I don't want to be at your wedding, I have no interest in your reception, we don't talk, and I have no interest in your life event as you have made no attempt to keep a friendship together or even speak to me outside of inviting me to your thing. I wish you only the best, may you go with god, I'm going back to my vegetative state.
 
Oh, I don’t consider a gift to be an obligation if you dont go to the wedding. That’s pretty gauche to expect.

Also, my issue is with people who haven’t RSVPed, not people who aren’t coming. If you aren’t going, just let the people know and it’s fine. It’s more about getting a headcount than needing to see who cares or anything emotional like that.
 
Oh yeah, the friends-of-friends and colleagues or whatever who for some reason or other get an invite and can't come, fair enough, and I definitely don't expect much of a gift from those.
€5 for a group who all come and drink at an open bar is insulting and they might as well give nothing at all. Not coming would save me far more than that. Not RSVPing so I don't know is also annoying skince you can't make a seating arrangements, can't properly count how many people need to be catered for, etc etc meaning more costs....

For me it sort of depends, if it's dinner-reception-party or something €50pp is in my opinion a minimum if you can afford it since, well, even that doesn't cover the costs of your food and drinks. Frankly, because our venue isn't exactly the cheapest and *points towards general economic environment*, €50pp now no longer covers costs even for the people who do only come for the evening dance party.
 
Unfortunately, I have the same issue with a lot of my family--they just won't RSVP but would get insulted if they showed up and there was no place for them to sit.

I solved it by sending RSVP notices, and then only sending venue information for those who verified they were coming. For those (very few) people who asked me at the last minute where it was, I told them "We only have seating/food/drinks for the folks who RSVPd, so sorry" and then didn't tell them venue information.

Maybe that hurt some feelings, but you know, maybe don't be a dick in the first place by expecting me to accommodate your inconsiderate ass.
 
I called my father and asked him if he wanted to come to my wedding and he was all 'Of course, absolutely' etc. and I was like 'you had 4 weeks time to respond and it's now one week overdue...'
Yep, not the best relationship anyways, didn't get any better after I took my wife's family name shortly after. :rofl:
Well that event got cancelled due to Covid anyways, and at least on the second run he called in time to let me know he wouldn't come because 'too much stress, too far from home etc.'
Welp, couldn't care less. 60+ people from wife's big family made for a nice backdrop, with friends and acquaintances we were at 92 guests. Of my small family (8 invites were sent to uncles and cousins) the three I could count on showed up; mom, brother, and grandma.
Sorry for the little rant.
 
If you think an envelope with a €5 bill in it in the name of three whole households is a sensible gift for a wedding where they'll cost around €400 in food and drink, remind me not to invite you to my wedding. :p
 
Man, I don’t love how large our wedding is (final count should be about 230 or so) but it would be completely impossible for me to narrow my side alone down to 25, let alone including her gargantuan family.
 
Our daughter got married almost 5 years ago, my family is small, really small, tiny even, my wife's family (which I am considered part of) has a total of 13 siblings for her Mom & Dad combined. The Son-in-Law's immediate family is 8 siblings of which only 3 are younger than him. We had 300 actually attend the wedding, there were only 4 empty seats at the tables for the reception and 2 of those were mine and my wife's. We literally measured the place, and figured out a seating arrangement to fit that into the space we had, there was no extra room to squeeze in anybody that showed up unannounced.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Unrelated whine

My feet hurt a lot.

I didn't get into programming (or previously, I.T. or Radio, for that matter) because I like to stand up for 6 hours straight.
 

Dave

Staff member
Unfortunately, I have the same issue with a lot of my family--they just won't RSVP but would get insulted if they showed up and there was no place for them to sit.

I solved it by sending RSVP notices, and then only sending venue information for those who verified they were coming. For those (very few) people who asked me at the last minute where it was, I told them "We only have seating/food/drinks for the folks who RSVPd, so sorry" and then didn't tell them venue information.

Maybe that hurt some feelings, but you know, maybe don't be a dick in the first place by expecting me to accommodate your inconsiderate ass.
I put on the notices that the venue will only have seating for those who RSVP. I put it in LARGE, BOLD WRITING. Basically, if you don't RSVP, don't bother showing up. And then I added 10 meals/places just in case.
 

Dave

Staff member
See, this is why our entire wedding party was only 25 people. Everyone showed, we all had a good time, and even if everyone hadn’t come, we still wouldn’t have had any huge issue with the food qty.

—Patrick
We had a pig roast at mine. And only a few people at the ceremony. Reception was middle - maybe 100 people.
 
My wedding had a firm cut-off date for RSVP, and it was assumed people who didn't reply in time would not be coming. This actually worked out pretty well, only one person (an army buddy of mine, bit of an idiot) showed up unexpectedly, and we found a spot for him.
 
I don't post too much about my personal life here. A little bit, but not too much.
Anyway, I've been here 10 months, and divorced 2 months, but essentially single that entire 10 months.

So, I got a girlfriend, dated a while, got tired of how she was treating me (for the last 6 weeks or so, we'd make plans for 3-4 days of the week, and she was no-call/no-showing most of them), so I broke up with her, and now I'm single again. /whine
So, the ex-girlfriend contacted me last week to try to reconcile. We've been talking. Then she asked me on a date for yesterday.

No-call/no-show, and ghosting me when I tried to find out if she was going to show up to the restaurant.

Fuck her.
 
So, the ex-girlfriend contacted me last week to try to reconcile. We've been talking. Then she asked me on a date for yesterday.

No-call/no-show, and ghosting me when I tried to find out if she was going to show up to the restaurant.

Fuck her.
Not to excuse her behavior, it's a shitty thing to do to someone, but this was pretty much my behavior when I was in the midst of a depressive spiral. I'd flake and miss events/dates/etc and then ghost the people I flaked on because explaining myself was too fucking much.

She could also just be an asshole, but either way I'm saying it's probably not you.
 
Not to excuse her behavior, it's a shitty thing to do to someone, but this was pretty much my behavior when I was in the midst of a depressive spiral. I'd flake and miss events/dates/etc and then ghost the people I flaked on because explaining myself was too fucking much.

She could also just be an asshole, but either way I'm saying it's probably not you.
Yeah, I'm not beating myself up about it. And I don't know what's going on with her. It's reasonable that she could be going through something like that. But I've made my best efforts here, and am not obligated to put up with the bullshit. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though :(
 
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