Export thread

Who wants to bang?

#1

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

You knew it was coming.

All who enter here forfeit your right to file sexual harrassment.

Now, who's first?


#2

Gusto

Gusto



#3

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

That ain't my baby.


#4



makare

like i said, shave the beard and we are doing this thang!


#5

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

The beard stays!


#6

ElJuski

ElJuski

wellllllllllllllllllllllll


the thing about it is


#7



makare

The beard stays!
you are so missing out :(


#8

phil

phil

"Comb the gummy bears out of your beard and let's talk"


"Don't try to change me, baby"


#9

LittleSin

LittleSin

Can I watch?


#10



Wasabi Poptart

I'll sit with LittleSin. We can share popcorn. No "butter" please!


#11

LittleSin

LittleSin

"I've got some yellow liquid for your popcorn! It's non-dairy too!"

/Kung Pow.


#12

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

There will be no observing the in the Orgy Room!


#13

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Don't worry, ladies. Just line up and you'll all get a turn.

Aww yeah...


#14



makare

Ill bang only those who are clean shaven.. and willing to belt me.


#15

Denbrought

Denbrought

This needs more exotic Europeans.


#16

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Ill bang only those who are clean shaven.. and willing to belt me.
Your text says no, but your avatar says you have no pants.


#17

phil

phil

Uh.... Might wanna re think that wording.


#18



makare

Ill bang only those who are clean shaven.. and willing to belt me.
Your text says no, but your avatar says you have no pants.[/QUOTE]

I...uh... well... guh


#19

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

I think she knows what she's after....

A shaven belt


#20

phil

phil

I like where this thread is going.



And knowing that confuses me.


#21

Vagabond

V.Bond

I want this thing.


#22

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe



#23



makare

poe is such a tease with those.


trust me.


#24

Cajungal

Cajungal

*fluff*


#25

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

I'm willing to negotiate with Shego as to who gets Cajun... I should at least get the weekends.


#26

LittleSin

LittleSin

What no hand cuffs and fancy teasing feathers?

I am disappoint.


#27



makare

Meh feathers. What we need here is a good crop


#28

Calleja

Calleja

Ok, this is way too kinky for me.

And this is ME saying so. Think about that.


#29

Cajungal

Cajungal

See, this is why you need to do more than watch. :unibrow:


#30

LittleSin

LittleSin

I love watching though.

Doing is good too as well.

Experiencing is also good.


#31



Element 117

This is not a contest!


#32



makare

too kinky!?

I didnt know such a thing was possible :wtf:


#33

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

=bangs on the ceiling=

Keep it down up there, it's 8:30, some of us are trying to sleep!


#34

Piotyr

Piotyr

Sure, I'd love to hang....


.............ooooooooooooooohhhhhh.......



#35

Cajungal

Cajungal

too kinky!?

I didnt know such a thing was possible :wtf:
It's not! Susan's a madman!


#36

Calleja

Calleja

Oh, that's a lie if I ever heard one. I just don't like leather. If you know what I mean.


edit: This was responding to Ame's "you haven't" lived post. GODDAMN are the ninjas flying today.


#37

phil

phil

This is not a contest!
'cause everyone wins with banging!


#38



makare

Oh, that's a lie if I ever heard one. I just don't like leather. If you know what I mean.


BWAH!!

get you hence!


#39

Cajungal

Cajungal

Oh, that's a lie if I ever heard one. I just don't like leather. If you know what I mean.


edit: This was responding to Ame's "you haven't" lived post. GODDAMN are the ninjas flying today.
Get out of this bangatorium this instant.


#40

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

I'd let Amy tie me up, if I weren't convinced that she'd leave immediately after... and then call my mother.


#41



makare

It's all about the leather


#42

LittleSin

LittleSin

I prefer fancy clothes and cos play.

I love it when a guy gets all trussed up in some nice fitting clothes. Mmmmmm...


#43

Calleja

Calleja

The only toy I use is a condom. I like it that way. Nudity über alle!


#44

phil

phil

It's all about the leather
And the benjamans, baby.


#45

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Latex & PVC are better anyway.

Woo, noooo.... totally not the time you want to find out someone has a latex allergy.


#46



makare

that does sound boring....


#47

phil

phil

I question placing condoms under the toy category, as well.


#48

Calleja

Calleja

Pshaaa, you do realize the KamaSutra calls for NO toys, right?

You can have pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenty of fun with just two naked people and nothing else, people.


#49



makare

yeah but you can have more unique fun with other things.


#50

Cajungal

Cajungal

^I won't knock that at all. But I do enjoy mixing it up with some different things thrown in.


#51



Element 117

Calleja, vanilla? Forsaw that in the Bible. Chapter 69&1/2


#52

LittleSin

LittleSin

Toys = fun.

I could make a potentially embarrassing confession but I'll hold back.

Unless asked.


#53

phil

phil

And the MOST fun with Phil

:smug:


#54

Rob King

Rob King

Pshaaa, you do realize the KamaSutra calls for NO toys, right?

You can have pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenty of fun with just two naked people and nothing else, people.
The Kama Sutra ... is just the beginning.

[krakka-boom]


#55

phil

phil

Damn this thread moves fast


#56

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Toys = fun.

I could make a potentially embarrassing confession but I'll hold back.

Unless asked.
Same. Some things just gotta stay a mystery with me, unless you log into IRC when I'm there. Then it's open season.

... or if makare sells me out.


#57



makare

vanilla frosty susan...

that is probably the standard flavor so yeah.


#58

Rob King

Rob King

Unless asked.
*asks*


#59

nfldraftman

CincyGuy

Pshaaa, you do realize the KamaSutra calls for NO toys, right?

You can have pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenty of fun with just two naked people and nothing else, people.
Yes but when you finish that book, it's fun to make up a few Appendices...:whistling:


#60



Element 117

I'm asking


#61

Rob King

Rob King

Yes but when you finish that book, it's fun to make up a few Appendices...:whistling:
Pshaw. I like to think of the Kama Sutra as the introduction.

- Rob King, who has neither read the Kama Sutra nor 'gotten any' in almost two years ...


#62

nfldraftman

CincyGuy

Thread moving too fast


#63

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker



#64

LittleSin

LittleSin

To put it simply, I never had a really, REALLY good orgasm until toys started being used.

I dont think that's too uncommon but my husband see's it as embarrassing to him.


#65



makare

yeah not uncommon.


#66



Wasabi Poptart

Kink is awesome. I miss my "box of fun" that I got rid of before I moved to CA.


#67

ElJuski

ElJuski

@______________@


#68

Frank

Frankie Williamson

I would, but due to the humidity and heat and the chaffing of my God damn uniform pants, I actually have a zit on my dick right now. It's pretty gross.

Who wants to see?


#69

Cajungal

Cajungal

O.O I actually kind of do. I've never seen such a thing.


#70



Philosopher B.

:Leyla:


#71

Baerdog

Baerdog

Meh feathers. What we need here is a good crop
makare you've been a very bad girl.

NSFW


#72



Philosopher B.

THWAP!


#73



makare

baer brings the good stuff


#74

Baerdog

Baerdog

I was just surprised that nobody had given you a crop yet. Now let me just remove my clothes...



#75



Philosopher B.

Aw yeah baby look at that manly gut.


#76



makare

I was just surprised that nobody had given you a crop yet. Now let me just remove my clothes...

have some syphilis


#77

Cajungal

Cajungal

Now we're cookin.


#78

Morphine

Morphine

Yes, you can have tons and tons of fun without the use of anything but your own bodies.
BUT it is also true it can get quite interesting when you add add extra stuff in the mix.

I used to work at a sexshop, people, I know my stuff n_n


#79

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Let us talk about your previous occupation, Ms. Phine...


#80

Morphine

Morphine

It was so much fun *sigh*
A lot of funny, interesting, weird stuff everyday... I really liked it.

Here's one of my best friends posing with one of the whips we sold in my beloved shop.



#81

Baerdog

Baerdog

Hmmm, yes. You're next, Morphine.


#82

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Indeed.

And god, your friend looks nearly EXACTLY like an Italian girl I went to school with. I did a double take when I saw that, because her smile is just about IDENTICAL, and the juxtaposition of her + the whip was.... interesting.


#83

Cajungal

Cajungal

That must have been a blast. I swear, the nicest people work at those places. You can walk up with armfuls of the weirdest, most questionable stuff.. things that would make your grandma say a Novena... and they just smile and wish you a fun-filled weekend. Maybe if this whole teaching thing doesn't work out I'll open up a little place...


#84

Docseverin

Docseverin

I can haz orgy now? I am going to have a year of pent up frustration, it's going to rough, hard and fast (too fast the first time but I will get through it.)


#85

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

It'd be interesting to explain to family members who Don't Get It, though...

Meanwhile, we shall have... ANOTHER SPANKING!

---------- Post added at 11:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:36 PM ----------

I can haz orgy now? I am going to have a year of pent up frustration, it's going to rough, hard and fast (too fast the first time but I will get through it.)
Who do you call when the corpsman goes down? *grins*

(also, btw, be safe out there, brother)


#86

Cajungal

Cajungal

It'd be interesting to explain to family members who Don't Get It, though...

Meanwhile, we shall have... ANOTHER SPANKING!
Psh, they'll be singing a different tune when I make all kindsa money and send them to Europe or something cool like that.

"In volatile market... only stable investment... IS PORN!"


#87

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

There is more truth to that than you know. *grins*

Now, since no one else is posting, Cajun's on deck for a paddlin'! *readies ping-pong paddle*


#88

Morphine

Morphine

That must have been a blast. I swear, the nicest people work at those places. You can walk up with armfuls of the weirdest, most questionable stuff.. things that would make your grandma say a Novena... and they just smile and wish you a fun-filled weekend. Maybe if this whole teaching thing doesn't work out I'll open up a little place...
It really was!
I loved getting people to loosen up and open their minds about this sort of things, especially I loved husbands and wives who came in (by themselves or together) after 20 years of happy marriage looking to fulfill one of their partner's fantasies or finally allowing themselves to try something new, getting rid of taboos... I liked being a part of that.


#89

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Morphine: Jailbait Caliente, brass-ovaried scrapper, and facilitator of intramarital stress-relief. Ladies and gentlemen, the total package!

---------- Post added at 11:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:46 PM ----------

Now, what am I bid for a night with this fine, young, feisty senorita?!


#90



Wasabi Poptart

You have to cuff her first.


#91

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Ka-CLIK! Done and done. And double-locked, too. Wouldn't want them cinching down too tight.

Now we get to find where the ticklish spots are...


#92

bhamv3

bhamv3

Not enough Asians in this thread!


#93

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Give Amy a minute, I know she's got some squirrelled away somewhere...


#94

phil

phil

It's my buddy MK's birthday. WHO'S GONNA BANG HIM?


this guy:


#95

Troll

Troll

I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.


#96



Philosopher B.

I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
Don't go to his party; come to mine instead! There are no pants at my party. :unibrow:


#97

Math242

Math242

Calleja, you pussy :p


#98

Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler



:whistling:


#99

nfldraftman

CincyGuy

Opening up Page 3 of this thread first thing at work was probably not the best idea. No, not because it's NSFW...but because my focus is...well...right where it should be! Thanks lads and lasses!


#100



Chibibar

sounds like fun. why the heck not.


#101

Gusto

Gusto

Always looking at me with their amorous eyes...


#102

Dave

Dave

The only toy I use is a condom. I like it that way. Nudity über alle!
Or goggles.


#103

Piotyr

Piotyr

The only toy I use is a condom. I like it that way. Nudity über alle!
Or goggles.[/QUOTE]

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!


#104

Dave

Dave

The only toy I use is a condom. I like it that way. Nudity über alle!
Or goggles.[/QUOTE]

My eyes! The goggles do nothing![/QUOTE]

They do if you are using them as a splash guard.


#105

nfldraftman

CincyGuy

The only toy I use is a condom. I like it that way. Nudity über alle!
Or goggles.[/QUOTE]

My eyes! The goggles do nothing![/QUOTE]

They do if you are using them as a splash guard.[/QUOTE]



#106

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Nope look at the thread title and think what could be splashed in your face while banging....


#107

nfldraftman

CincyGuy

Nope look at the thread title and think what could be splashed in your face while banging....
You must never have been with a squirter....


#108

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

It is an old meme on this board... it was self-inflicted.


#109

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

Wow... this thread certainly evolved quickly from yesterday...


#110

ElJuski

ElJuski

Wow... this thread certainly evolved quickly from yesterday...
Like all things grizzly and horrible, it expounds on itself, creating a shaggy sexual beast from Hell.


#111

Charlie Don't Surf

The Lovely Boehner

I don't want to work
I just want to bang on the drum all day


#112

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

You rang?



#113

ElJuski

ElJuski

You rang?

Like all things grizzly and horrible, it expounds on itself, creating a shaggy sexual beast from Hell.


#114

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

Like all things grizzly and horrible, it expounds on itself, creating a shaggy sexual beast from Hell.
No kidding... :)


#115

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Crap, thanks for catching my missed-quote Juski.


#116

ElJuski

ElJuski

Crap, thanks for catching my missed-quote Juski.
Wait, was that what you were originally going for? I thought I was just piggy-backing off of you. Turns out, you had the joke all along :( Either way, *hi-five*


#117



Chazwozel

.


#118

Allen who is Quiet

Allen, who is Quiet

sure


#119

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Am I too late? I came prepared:






#120

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

I think we missed the party.


#121

Troll

Troll

Halforum's theme song:


#122

Allen who is Quiet

Allen, who is Quiet

I think we missed the party.
dang. usually I'm early.


#123



Element 117

I think we missed the party.
dang. usually I'm early.[/QUOTE]

haha. HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA


#124

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I think we missed the party.
dang. usually I'm early.[/QUOTE]

There are pills and cremes for that now.


#125



makare

I think we missed the party.
dang. usually I'm early.[/QUOTE]

There are pills and cremes for that now.[/QUOTE]

I doubt rubbing creme on is going to help.


#126

Calleja

Calleja

He means those creams that make your willy go numb so you last longer.


edit: Oh, wait, duh, he spelled it "creme"... never mind.


#127

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I think we missed the party.
dang. usually I'm early.[/QUOTE]

There are pills and cremes for that now.[/QUOTE]

I doubt rubbing creme on is going to help.[/QUOTE]

If you get that first one out of the way...


#128

ElJuski

ElJuski

DANGER DANGER


ITS HIGH VOLTAGE


#129

Gusto

Gusto

WHEN WE TOUCH


#130



makare

the honesty's too much


#131

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

There is entirely too much weird stuff and not enough banging in this thread.


#132



Chazwozel

There is entirely too much weird stuff and not enough banging in this thread.
Dude, I've had my dick in your ear for the past 20 minutes.


#133

Fun Size

Fun Size

Probably why he couldn't hear the banging.

*Leaves while his clothes and pride are intact.*


#134

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

God damn it Chaz... this isn't James Woods High...


#135

filmfanatic

filmfanatic

God damn it Chaz... this isn't James Woods High...
THIS...IS....SPARTA!


#136

Cajungal

Cajungal

Probably why he couldn't hear the banging.

*Leaves while his clothes and pride are intact.*
Fun size, there's a large hole bored into your pants and your... Spongebob boxers.


#137

David

David

What are you talking about? That's just Spongebob's nose.

...right?


#138

ElJuski

ElJuski

WHEN WE TOUCH
WHEN WE KISS


#139

Cajungal

Cajungal

What are you talking about? That's just Spongebob's nose.

...right?
Whether Mr. Size knows it or not, someone got to him in the middle of it all.


#140

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Hrmm... this all came about because of an insistence that there be some sort of contest for getting to jump forumites... how can we set that up?


#141



Element 117

There is no contest. Ever


#142

Rob King

Rob King

A winner has already been chosen.



...and properly awarded.​
It wasn't me.

:(


#143

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

A winner has already been chosen.



...and properly awarded.​

Is that what that was? I thought it was gas...


#144



Wasabi Poptart

A winner has already been chosen.



...and properly awarded.​


#145

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

It's okay, WP. Have your hubby break out his cracker jacks, as a consolation prize


#146



Wasabi Poptart

13 buttons to paradise! WOO!


#147

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Bonus points if we can get any of the women here into uniforms. MmmmMMMMM women in uniforms. And not the cheesy COSTUME uniforms, either - those tend to look trashy.


#148



Wasabi Poptart

Too bad I can't fit into my husband's new digital cammies. Well, I can't fit into the blouse at least. :whistling:


#149

Gusto

Gusto

I got some rep from this thread so :smug:.


#150



Wasabi Poptart



This is as close as I get to a uniform. I made this shirt while he was deployed 2 years ago ("individual augmentee" deployment to CJTF- Horn of Africa). NARMY = Navy + Army which is what these guys got nicknamed. On the back it said "IA Deployments SUCK". LOL


#151

Terrik

Terrik

Well I'm ready to drop the "hammer" and dispense some indiscriminate "justice".

"".


#152

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Soooo... where do I hang my robe?


#153

Cajungal

Cajungal

Soooo... where do I hang my robe?
On Charon's erection


#154

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

I was thinking of a coat hanger or something.

Also, I brought strawberries and whipped cream.


#155

Cajungal

Cajungal

I was thinking of a coat hanger or something.

Also, I brought strawberries and whipped cream.
Just put em on my catering table... and that's not a metaphor.


#156

Allen who is Quiet

Allen, who is Quiet

I was thinking of a coat hanger or something.

Also, I brought strawberries and whipped cream.
Just put em on my catering table... and that's not a metaphor.[/QUOTE]

It's actually my nickname.


#157

Bubble181

Bubble181

Am I too late?

I'm too late, aren't I? Now I'm going to get Northies sloppy seconds...Damn.

Okay, who's up for a rousing sauna followed by a shower, followed by wild Belgian sex? All comers served. All served come.


#158

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Wild Belgian sex? Bah, lemme grab a lass and show you how it's done properly. *cue Sam the Eagle voice* The FINNISH way!


#159

Bubble181

Bubble181

Sure, but that's a Belgian girl you're holding there, matey. I can tell by the way she's holding your beer for you while you'"re doing the get-in-the-stable-dance.


#160

Cajungal

Cajungal

:laugh:


#161

Bubble181

Bubble181

Look, see her, jumping up and down? Well, yes, obviously you do. Now, THAT, right there, is an honourary Belgian girl. That's the kind of quality we serve. Yessir.


#162

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Let's see how well the Belgian girl handles the Jäger Style.

No, the leg goes over HERE!

...

Impressive.


#163

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Belgian girls on trampolines? Eeeeeexcellent...


#164

Cajungal

Cajungal

*looks at NR*

..

*looks at Bubs*

..

:aaahhh:


#165

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Relax and have some strawberries, Leslie.

On a plate or from someone's belly?


#166

Bubble181

Bubble181

Look, you can tell she's a total class act of the very highest calibre by the fact that, even hile flailing around in wide-eyed horror, she's still keeping the full foamy head on those two beers perfectly balanced. Wow.

In other news, Is it, or is it not, an unfair advantage Ame has for getting the middle position in a sandwich? :confused:


#167

Cajungal

Cajungal

:confused: I dunno, y'all are awful hairy. Just gimme one o them Chinets.

---------- Post added at 03:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:35 PM ----------

...On second thought, I'm just gonna move outa the line of fire....


Man bubs, you're a weirdo, but I miss this. ;P


#168

Bubble181

Bubble181

Man bubs, you're a weirdo, but I miss this. ;P

I'm going to assume that's positive. Now, what's that thing they say about "assume" again...?
you'd think having a steady relationship with a girl with a huge libido would make me less....Errr, this. It doesn't :-P


#169

Cajungal

Cajungal

Man bubs, you're a weirdo, but I miss this. ;P

I'm going to assume that's positive. Now, what's that thing they say about "assume" again...?
you'd think having a steady relationship with a girl with a huge libido would make me less....Errr, this. It doesn't :-P[/QUOTE]

Bubs is bubs, and I like him. ^_^ Glad it's going well with your lady.


#170

GasBandit

GasBandit

The steady escalation around here has me worried what the next thread in the series will be.


#171

phil

phil



#172

Vagabond

V.Bond

The steady escalation around here has me worried what the next thread in the series will be.
"Whose baby is this?"


#173

Frank

Frankie Williamson

There's a game a friend of mine and myself invented called Sperm Swap, Pregnancy Guess. The object is to get a large group of people to bone randomly in the dark. Then in 9 months, you try to guess who was pregnant with who's kid.


#174

GasBandit

GasBandit

The steady escalation around here has me worried what the next thread in the series will be.
"Whose baby is this?"[/QUOTE]

You win.



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