Ah, I see what you're saying. Children look to their surroundings to gauge their behavior. Whatever reinforcement they receive will shape their development. So a child who is consistently praised for putting away his toys will gain satisfaction from doing so, while another child who soothes his sadness by punching his younger sibling will develop schadenfreude. It's even possible a child may be "rewarded" by inanimate objects, such as finishing a level in Peggle. The brain gets tickled all over by that display and says, "We're going to do that again!" and suddenly your 5yr-old is playing 3hrs of Peggle a day instead of doing his homework. Similar behavior has been well-documented in lab animals.What if you never punished your children when they hit each other, only when they made enough noise about it to inconvenience you?
But worse, I suppose, is the child who grows up with no consistent reinforcement (i.e., allowed to "get away" with too much and/or do whatever they want so long as it doesn't make too much noise). This child will learn the basics (stoves are dangerous, food and water are required, don't bother the dog while he is eating), but miss out on more advanced concepts (cooperation, structure/planning, compassion), the ones that relate most to interaction. After all, if a child "learns" that people don't care what he does, then he won't either.
--Patrick