Rant VIII: The Reckoning
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This is exactly why I told my mom I couldn't really be a part of that conversation. Reading Null's post, from an outside perspective, looks kinda harsh. But I don't know him or his parents, I can't make any comments about that, and I offer no judgment. But it would be impossible for me to be impartial in that discussion. Objectively, my parents probably should have divorced a long time ago, they're pretty much just roommates now that get on each others nerves. But emotionally, when she asked me that, my first instinct was to get defensive because it feels like she's attacking my dad (which she wasn't,) and the reverse holds true any time my dad talks about my mom.
And in writing that out, I actually feel a little bad, because I realize they probably only do that because they feel like they don't have anyone else to talk to about it.
No, not that. I'm just saying that since I made that horrific suicide joke a month or so ago, and now Bubble's made his atrociously insensitive jab, it's now @PatrThom's turn to do us proud.
. . . y'know, on second thought, I'm gonna go with what Emrys said. It sounds much more fun. Although my hetero side will require her presence in the proceedings.
my parents contemplated it, and i know my dad was considering it, unfortunately terminal cancer beat that issue to the punch.
on that note my own rant:
there was talk with the doctor about how my lack of grieving for my fathers passing and my mothers inability to work through it is some sort of mental illness for both of us. being forced to go to grief consuling when you dont feel any is really weird. I dont really know what to say beyond that other then unless docs got a court order I aint going back.
not yet, thats next week, that i dont mind as much, i meant by myself.
My mom tried to take me to grief counseling after my dad passed in '86. That lasted up to the point where the counselor tried to make me take the blame for his death.
After my grandmother died I kept getting mail from the hospice care place asking if I needed counseling. It felt like as soon as I'd start getting to a point where emotionally I could move on that newsletter would show up in my mailbox. I ended up writing them a nasty letter which probably proved I could have used counseling.
Just tell me where and when, darlin'.
To be clear, the doomies are welcome before and after for cuddling, but ehh not during, please?Just tell me where and when, darlin'.
You have no sense of adventure.
fade
Staff member
For context, that particular time, Mom and Dad had been arguing because she wanted the kitchen redone (I mean sinks moved, an island installed, new wall tile, etc) and we plain and simple can't afford it. My dad has hoarding tendencies but under relative control, meaning we have a basement and attic and front porch full of boxes of things, some of value, some of value only to him, as well as three storage cubes. (It used to be considerably worse, before he started going to therapy). So she was enraged that "we can afford your fucking storage cubes (total rent $120 per month) but I can't get a kitchen (renovation cost, $15,000)" and felt this was hideously unfair to her, so she wanted to leave.
Basically I felt she was being an ungrateful brat and that's why I answered as harshly as I did.
Basically I felt she was being an ungrateful brat and that's why I answered as harshly as I did.
Dave
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I take the car in for an oil change and to find out why the check engine light came on (& subsequently turned off) just to be sure as we have some long trips coming up. My mechanic (whom I trust like a member of the family [because he used to be]) says, "Your transmission is slipping. You'll need a new one as soon as you can." It'll run us about $1000. So I give him the $100 out of one account, grab $200 from our savings, and give it to him as a down-payment. He's going to order the tranny and put it in, and we'll be able to pay him as we're able. Which is amazing.
So why is this a rant? The $300 I gave him was going to be for our Christmas trip next week. The other $400 in savings we're going to have to spend now was slated to go to the trip to El Paso at the end of January. We'll (probably) still be able to swing everything, but it takes us from being flush with cash and able to play around to being as tight as hell and having to pinch several hundred pennies until then.
Oh, and Sammi had to quit her job because they wouldn't let her take any vacation time to make either trip. She told them to pound sand.
So why is this a rant? The $300 I gave him was going to be for our Christmas trip next week. The other $400 in savings we're going to have to spend now was slated to go to the trip to El Paso at the end of January. We'll (probably) still be able to swing everything, but it takes us from being flush with cash and able to play around to being as tight as hell and having to pinch several hundred pennies until then.
Oh, and Sammi had to quit her job because they wouldn't let her take any vacation time to make either trip. She told them to pound sand.
Yes and yes. Oh and i feel your pain about sammi, my last job i had 2 months of vacation, i was never allowed to take any of it. Thus when i quit due to state law they had to pay me for all of it.
I'm sorry to hear about your car. What a gross time of year for that to happen
I can't believe her work!! How is that even remotely legal? I know that at work, I rarely ever deny anyone's leave but that I do have that right should operational demands require it. I have the policy that as long as you give me enough advance notice, we can make it happen.
Yup. I get to choose whether I work Christmas or New Years (PROTIP: this is the first time in 6 years I'm only one of them! Just New Years!...But I'm working the night shift between Christmas Eve and Christmas too, so....), but I'm not allowed to take time off between the 15th of December and the 3rd of January.
The casino was like that, too. No one took vacation during those weeks, but you could request either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day off. Everyone worked NYE/New Year's Day and if you called out sick you had better have a doctor's note or an obituary.
And if you had an obituary, you'd better not show your face around there again!
--Patrick
El Paso? Hell that's the other side of Texas from me you should swing by my way... it's only an extra 10 hour or so drive from El Paso to Houston...
Oh FFS. Maybe I'm doing this wrong, but if my kid flung their door open into the car next to me, I wouldn't just look at the (admittedly sexy) car owner who was in their car at the time and then just drive away. HFF873 in the white Colorado Avalanche (or something similar), I tried to find you to thank you for the new rear quarter panel you'll be buying me.
People suck. I'm sorry they drove off
They really do
The one time I did that I had no pen, so I waited for them to finish shopping and spoke to them.
Ok so the chick at work who was so horrid this summer and said all those completely out of line things is moving away. This part is an epic win.
My rant? Dude at work is organizing a lunch and gift. Screw that. I don't respond because I have zero interest. None. He writes me this morning about why I haven't responded and he needs numbers. I don't write back because I'll see him tomorrow. He's a nice guy and I'd rather not burden him with the drama. I have a perfectly reasonable baby sitter issue/medical appointment. Fate right? Feeling good about this.
He emails tonight. He's decided that her gift should be a collage of all the art pictures I have taken on work trips she and I went on together.
FML. As if. I mean I guess I should be happy that I've been professional enough that buddy can't tell how deeply I hate chick.
Now in the past I have happily made prints and canvases for coworkers and family members at cost. For coworkers that I like. Not nasty ones.
Yeah work will be fun tomorrow. Say yes and I waste my day doing this for a bitch I hate. Say no and I look spiteful. The funny thing is that the minute I show him all the hateful things she has tattle taled in him for, he'd be driving her to the airport so she could GTFO already.
My rant? Dude at work is organizing a lunch and gift. Screw that. I don't respond because I have zero interest. None. He writes me this morning about why I haven't responded and he needs numbers. I don't write back because I'll see him tomorrow. He's a nice guy and I'd rather not burden him with the drama. I have a perfectly reasonable baby sitter issue/medical appointment. Fate right? Feeling good about this.
He emails tonight. He's decided that her gift should be a collage of all the art pictures I have taken on work trips she and I went on together.
FML. As if. I mean I guess I should be happy that I've been professional enough that buddy can't tell how deeply I hate chick.
Now in the past I have happily made prints and canvases for coworkers and family members at cost. For coworkers that I like. Not nasty ones.
Yeah work will be fun tomorrow. Say yes and I waste my day doing this for a bitch I hate. Say no and I look spiteful. The funny thing is that the minute I show him all the hateful things she has tattle taled in him for, he'd be driving her to the airport so she could GTFO already.
BE SPITEFUL. Seriously. Don't let them bully you into this kind of thing. Just make it clear you hate the bitch and be done with it.
Fuck each and every one of the following.
- The company that did not list one particular area of experience as a requirement (even though I fit every other criteria perfectly), forced me to fill out a twelve-page application, then automatically declined me because I'd indicated I did not have that experience on the first page.
- The colleague who volunteered to put me in contact with a hiring manager at a firm she'd worked at previously, then completely ceased responding.
- The one company I received an interview with, who called to let me know at 10:30 PM that they wouldn't be hiring me. Because who needed to sleep that night anyways.
- The fact that a company I would absolutely love to work for is looking for someone with my precise combination of areas of research expertise (not common), soft skills, presentation abilities and geographic network but--even though I applied three months ago, they've been trying to hire for the job for nine months, and another colleague provided the hiring manager with my resumé and a recommendation--I have heard absolutely nothing (aside from, "Please be patient, we'll contact you if we're interested in you." when I tried to follow up several weeks ago).
- The fact that no matter how much money a company seems to make they cannot perform the common courtesy of sending out a form letter rejection.
- The fact that my brother in law, who has always fucked around and had no plan for the future whatsoever, got hired with a six-figure salary (that he negotiated up another $20k) within three fucking days of putting his resume online for a job that he is not qualified for (and the company itself admitted this).
- The fact that I've been seriously job hunting for six months now, will be defending my thesis in two months, and have nothing lined up.
- And, finally, the fact that all of this is now EXTREMELY time-sensitive since my father was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia and is rapidly declining, so I'd kinda like to move back closer to home (or at least have the money to visit more than once a year).
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I agree. Say no and don't look back. You are allowed to dislike someone who has treated you badly.
Goodness, but there are a lot of forumites getting run into out there.
--Patrick
This is the one that made me wince. I've never had a six-figure salary. At this point in my life, I'm likely to never have one. Heck, I've never even had half a six-figure salary.
--Patrick
Yep, pretty much. Don't get me wrong--I'm really happy for him--but it is absolutely maddening that it literally just fell into his lap when he's unqualified.
Meanwhile I'm being told, "Yeah...you have six years of extensive experience in EXACTLY what we're looking for, but...nah."
Wow, you've never made three figures?