This is why I manipulated the algorithm to show me... uh... "landscape paintings". If it's not going to be showing me actual updates from my friends and family, then at least it can show me stuff I want to see.
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
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- boat people
I deactivated all of my social media long ago and have been far happier for it. I only have an Instagram account now, which I mainly use to look at watches
Well, I've discovered an extraordinarily bad habit I've developed. Since my dad's death I've been sitting outside at night, getting high and putting myself through every gutwrenching terrible moment of my life until I'm a blubbering mess and I fear it's my brain forcing me to express huge amounts of needless sorrow to make up for my seeming inability to actually grieve his death.
Fuck it sucks but I can't sleep until I've had an anxiety attack about how poorly the first time I admitted to someone I liked them when I was like 14 went.
Fuck it sucks but I can't sleep until I've had an anxiety attack about how poorly the first time I admitted to someone I liked them when I was like 14 went.
In the deepest parts of my depression, I would do this exact same behavior, minus the getting high part. I would torture myself with the most gut wrenching memories I could come up with, because I think feeling that felt better than feeling the numbness of my depression.
Nothing makes you feel more like a loser than going to a big family get together, surrounded by people who have careers, families, and other accomplishments. None of which I'll ever have.
Meanwhile, I'm the pathetic loser who's pushing 50 and will likely die alone because I'm a self-centered toxic asshole loner who people point at and say, "At least I'm not that."
Meanwhile, I'm the pathetic loser who's pushing 50 and will likely die alone because I'm a self-centered toxic asshole loner who people point at and say, "At least I'm not that."
FWIW, I heartily believe this is true:
FYI, there is more than one thing I've been envious of and also had admiration for you, Nick. It is just easy to dwell on how we compare to others unfavorably and forget the ways in which we have real value just by being ourselves.
FYI, there is more than one thing I've been envious of and also had admiration for you, Nick. It is just easy to dwell on how we compare to others unfavorably and forget the ways in which we have real value just by being ourselves.
Compare and despair. The road to happiness is looking at our own talents and abilities and not looking at what others have.
figmentPez
Staff member
Didn't realize I posted this to the minor tech rant thread, because it wasn't a minor rant then, and it's definitely a major rant now.
My brand new PC is blue screening and rebooting. I do not know if this is a coincidence or if some common cause killed both my old and new PCs. FML.
I will take advantage of Costco's warranty policies tomorrow, hopefully that will put an end to the issue.
Lost a lot of non-essential data that I didn't have backed up to external storage or the cloud. Mostly game installs and installers, game saves that might or might not be backed up to the cloud, some media I'd already watched, and such. All the essentials shit is on Dropbox and Google Drive, and a lot of other stuff is backed up to external drives, but there's always stuff that won't fit on the drives I can afford. (Oh to be able to have the NAS of my dreams.)
I'm so tired of this bullshit.
Fuck places like tim hortons that are owned by foreign interests draped in the pageantry of patriotism gaming a system of human trafficking to employ low paid slave labour and deplete the general population of Canada of entry level work that should pay by definition a living eage.
Anywhere that is run by unionized workers should spit on their doughnuts and spill the coffee of these affront to labour. Having them in a union shop is an insult to labour.
Anywhere that is run by unionized workers should spit on their doughnuts and spill the coffee of these affront to labour. Having them in a union shop is an insult to labour.
