This is why I manipulated the algorithm to show me... uh... "landscape paintings". If it's not going to be showing me actual updates from my friends and family, then at least it can show me stuff I want to see.
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
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- boat people
I deactivated all of my social media long ago and have been far happier for it. I only have an Instagram account now, which I mainly use to look at watches
Well, I've discovered an extraordinarily bad habit I've developed. Since my dad's death I've been sitting outside at night, getting high and putting myself through every gutwrenching terrible moment of my life until I'm a blubbering mess and I fear it's my brain forcing me to express huge amounts of needless sorrow to make up for my seeming inability to actually grieve his death.
Fuck it sucks but I can't sleep until I've had an anxiety attack about how poorly the first time I admitted to someone I liked them when I was like 14 went.
Fuck it sucks but I can't sleep until I've had an anxiety attack about how poorly the first time I admitted to someone I liked them when I was like 14 went.
In the deepest parts of my depression, I would do this exact same behavior, minus the getting high part. I would torture myself with the most gut wrenching memories I could come up with, because I think feeling that felt better than feeling the numbness of my depression.
Nothing makes you feel more like a loser than going to a big family get together, surrounded by people who have careers, families, and other accomplishments. None of which I'll ever have.
Meanwhile, I'm the pathetic loser who's pushing 50 and will likely die alone because I'm a self-centered toxic asshole loner who people point at and say, "At least I'm not that."
Meanwhile, I'm the pathetic loser who's pushing 50 and will likely die alone because I'm a self-centered toxic asshole loner who people point at and say, "At least I'm not that."
FWIW, I heartily believe this is true:
FYI, there is more than one thing I've been envious of and also had admiration for you, Nick. It is just easy to dwell on how we compare to others unfavorably and forget the ways in which we have real value just by being ourselves.
FYI, there is more than one thing I've been envious of and also had admiration for you, Nick. It is just easy to dwell on how we compare to others unfavorably and forget the ways in which we have real value just by being ourselves.
Compare and despair. The road to happiness is looking at our own talents and abilities and not looking at what others have.
figmentPez
Staff member
Didn't realize I posted this to the minor tech rant thread, because it wasn't a minor rant then, and it's definitely a major rant now.
My brand new PC is blue screening and rebooting. I do not know if this is a coincidence or if some common cause killed both my old and new PCs. FML.
I will take advantage of Costco's warranty policies tomorrow, hopefully that will put an end to the issue.
Lost a lot of non-essential data that I didn't have backed up to external storage or the cloud. Mostly game installs and installers, game saves that might or might not be backed up to the cloud, some media I'd already watched, and such. All the essentials shit is on Dropbox and Google Drive, and a lot of other stuff is backed up to external drives, but there's always stuff that won't fit on the drives I can afford. (Oh to be able to have the NAS of my dreams.)
I'm so tired of this bullshit.
Fuck places like tim hortons that are owned by foreign interests draped in the pageantry of patriotism gaming a system of human trafficking to employ low paid slave labour and deplete the general population of Canada of entry level work that should pay by definition a living eage.
Anywhere that is run by unionized workers should spit on their doughnuts and spill the coffee of these affront to labour. Having them in a union shop is an insult to labour.
Anywhere that is run by unionized workers should spit on their doughnuts and spill the coffee of these affront to labour. Having them in a union shop is an insult to labour.
I feel betrayed. In Ecuador, public servants can request 'service commissions,' which allow them to temporarily work at another public institution without losing their position at their current workplace. As long as the other institution offers a better salary, the commission cannot legally be denied. This was offered to me in a neighboring city, where I could earn a bit more than I do now. I thought that in the worst case, they might give me a raise to stay in Portoviejo. Today, I woke up to the news that our mayor pressured the mayor of the other city to withdraw the commission request, so he wouldn't have to deny it but also wouldn't have to improve my salary. This is an enormous lack of respect. I would love to be able to resign right now.
Yikes.
Sooooo... How are the kids?
Not our kitten as he was fixed today.
One of our kids had an alarming lack of consideration for us today and decided to not communicate plans. Everyone is ok, but it was alarming for sure.
... did someone get walked in on?
No, our kid decided to not communicate a significant change in plans and didn’t bring their phone to school so we couldn’t reach them.
I definitely did that as a teenager and didn't understand what the big deal was.
I was so happy to see him and gave him a huge hug and he looked at me like I had three heads. He didn’t get it at all.
I have a pending referral from my doctor. Just waiting to hear from whatever clinic he referred me to.
1. I have been sick since Monday. Like wrecked - endless rounds o fever, chills, sweating through my clothes, fatigues, and headaches
2. Felt slightly better today no fever in 12 hrs decided to show my face at work because politics. On the drive in, some one was in a turning lane and wanted to merge in front of me. There was plenty of room behind me and only a cars length in front. I didn't let him in. They proceeded to tailgate and pull up beside me and gesture at me. I ignored them. All I had to do was tap on the brakes and let them in. I feel shitty now.
3. There is a MAGA mom who raised a nasty mean girl who has been saying racist and anti-hindu shit to the Indian girls in my daughters class. It is getting out of hand. They are 10. Fucking racist maga mothefuckers. I will no longer tolerate them they are all dead to me.
2. Felt slightly better today no fever in 12 hrs decided to show my face at work because politics. On the drive in, some one was in a turning lane and wanted to merge in front of me. There was plenty of room behind me and only a cars length in front. I didn't let him in. They proceeded to tailgate and pull up beside me and gesture at me. I ignored them. All I had to do was tap on the brakes and let them in. I feel shitty now.
3. There is a MAGA mom who raised a nasty mean girl who has been saying racist and anti-hindu shit to the Indian girls in my daughters class. It is getting out of hand. They are 10. Fucking racist maga mothefuckers. I will no longer tolerate them they are all dead to me.
So I went into work and outside the main entrance of the convention center was, well, a huge pool of blood with footprints going off down the street. Ambulance and fire trucks were there but no cops? Like I walked right through what seems like an active crime scene but...oh well I guess?
Anyway, my mom just texted me to ask about the stabbings that happened
"Oh, that explains it" I thought to myself and looked it up.
Nope, these two things are unrelated.
Anyway, my mom just texted me to ask about the stabbings that happened
"Oh, that explains it" I thought to myself and looked it up.
Nope, these two things are unrelated.
Went back to urgent care last night. I have pneumonia. So at least I have meds now.