I found her innocence on the side of the road...
GasBandit
Staff member
Floating in 5 feet of brackish water.
.PUD is also the file extension used for custom maps created for Warcraft II. This fact lent itself to all sorts of shenanigans.
Also, shout out to the only song I know containing the word "pudendum!"
--Patrick
I still remember about half of The Totally Tasteless Joke Book.
GasBandit
Staff member
"Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog!"
What is, a rake, a pit bull and a pistol, Alex?
GasBandit
Staff member
Heh, the version I had was even older so it was allowed to be politically insensitive. In the book I had, it was a zulu, a dog, and a pygmy with a shotgun.
GasBandit
Staff member
A man paid for an extravagant safari trip into Africa to hunt gorillas. The morning after he arrived, he found his guide had hired a Zulu, a large dog, and a pygmy with a shotgun.
They headed off into the wilderness, the guide tracking a gorilla until they found him high up in a tree. The guide signaled to the Zulu, who shimmied up the tree and began shaking the branch upon which sat the gorilla. The gorilla lost his grip, plummeted out of the tree, and the instant the gorilla hit the ground, the dog leaped upon him, biting him savagely on the genitals. The gorilla shrieked and passed out from the pain.
The would-be hunter found all of this quite amazing, but had a question for the guide - "Well, that was great but what's the Pygmy with the gun for?" The guide shook his head and said "You'll see."
The next day they set out again - the guide tracked a gorilla to a tree, the Zulu climbed up and shook the branch, the gorilla fell from the tree and the dog again rendered it unconscious with a painful chomp to the dangly bits. Like clockwork. The client once again inquired, "Ok, but I'm paying top dollar here, and this Pygmy isn't doing anything but standing around. Do we really need him?"
"You'll see," replied the guide again.
On the third day, the guide found a particularly large gorilla. The Zulu climbed the tree and started shaking the branch, but the gorilla held fast and then knocked the Zulu loose instead. As the Zulu fell from the tree, he shouted desperately at the Pygmy, "SHOOT THE DOG SHOOT THE DOG SHOOT THE DOG!"
"Hey, your going out tomorrow, can you send this package?"
"Like that? Its not taped enough."
"Yyyyyyyyes it is, I went to UPS and they would've taken it if not for their pointlessly expensive price."
"Nope, tape it."
"FINE!"
One pointless taping of a box that is completely secure later.
"There, its taped."
"Oooooooooooh yeah I can't go out there tomorrow."
"Just wonderful, I wasted time taping up a box I KNEW was secure, AND I get to murder my legs biking through the millions of pot-holes surrounding South Jersey!"
"Like that? Its not taped enough."
"Yyyyyyyyes it is, I went to UPS and they would've taken it if not for their pointlessly expensive price."
"Nope, tape it."
"FINE!"
One pointless taping of a box that is completely secure later.
"There, its taped."
"Oooooooooooh yeah I can't go out there tomorrow."
"Just wonderful, I wasted time taping up a box I KNEW was secure, AND I get to murder my legs biking through the millions of pot-holes surrounding South Jersey!"
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
Depressive cycle's hitting pretty hard. Hope it doesn't last. Right now my emotions are basically set to "Fuck it, who cares".
Doing a translation for a client. The translation involves several technical terms related to the client's internal procedures. We don't know what these terms mean, so we submit a query.
"What do blorg, blern, and bleem mean?"
One day later, the client replies:
"Blorg refers to when you blorg the product. Blern refers to when you blern the product. Bleem refers to when you bleem the product, followed by blorging and blerning."
"... that doesn't help."
"What do blorg, blern, and bleem mean?"
One day later, the client replies:
"Blorg refers to when you blorg the product. Blern refers to when you blern the product. Bleem refers to when you bleem the product, followed by blorging and blerning."
"... that doesn't help."
GasBandit
Staff member
Every single time the owner comes into the office, our wifi's gateway takes a shit. Every. Time. And he's constantly all "why do we even have this if it doesn't work" well it works when you're not here and I'm starting to suspect you are the cause, not the coincidence.
Holy efficiency, Batman! Only took 2 weeks for them to e-mail me letting me know they're sending me a letter letting me know that the case is indeed late, and that they anticipate a decision within 60 days. To recap:
- Case filed in May 2015.
- Interview in Jan 2016, I am promised approval 'by the end of the week'.
- 6 months later, the decision is finally officially late, ask for an update, receive notice #1 after a few weeks.
- Wait 90 days from notice date, ask for an update, receive notice #2 soon(tm).
- Wait 60 days from notice date, go insane.
The new temp visa application is still not showing up on their system. Current one has a month and a half left in it.
For the record I'm a white male marrying a white female, both college educated, both from non-poor families in wealthy nations, without any sort of records against us and ample evidence of a genuine marriage. My case is pretty much the most straightforward case you could picture. I am living the best case scenario, afaik. Immigration, y'all.
Is this the email?
(Basically, informing you that the price hike happened last year and you are only NOW getting the price hike)
@Dave It's a price increase from $8 to $10, which is still better than Hulu's $12 and HBOGO's $15.
GasBandit
Staff member
There's a class action suit being pressed about this, because the so called "grandfather" accounts claim that they were told by netflix when they signed on at 7.99 that their rate would never change so long as the account didn't lapse or they didn't change plans.[DOUBLEPOST=1475718317,1475718269][/DOUBLEPOST]Is this the email?
(Basically, informing you that the price hike happened last year and you are only NOW getting the price hike)
@Dave It's a price increase from $8 to $10, which is still better than Hulu's $12 and HBOGO's $15.
Luke Cage was good, but it wasn't 10 bucks a month good.
Yeah, we have a grandfathered account as well. Even if it goes up it's still worth it because it's an HD account with two simultaneous streams for the same cost as their SD single stream account these days.
Though the catalog isn't what it used to be, we are never without enjoyable entertainment. Between that and Amazon prime we are still paying far less than people with just basic cable, and we get far more for all that.
I can't really complain about a $24/year price increase.
Though the catalog isn't what it used to be, we are never without enjoyable entertainment. Between that and Amazon prime we are still paying far less than people with just basic cable, and we get far more for all that.
I can't really complain about a $24/year price increase.
Don't let them know how many eyes are watching in your household, they might try to declare you a theater.
(pretty sure I remember a case of at least one cable company trying to change prices depending on how many people were in a household)
Yeah, our price increase happened a few months ago. Definitely still worth it.
Dave
Staff member
Every Thursday at my work we have people bring in breakfast. There are about 30 of us and it revolves so that teams of 3 people provide the food. Usually one person brings hot food, someone brings drinks and utensils, and someone brings a "side" dish.
Today was myself, Big Fat Jerk (BFJ), and Girl I Don't Know (GIDK).
For the last week, we've been talking and we came to the following plan: BFJ would bring a breakfast casserole, I would make (or buy) cinnamon rolls, and GIDK would bring...whatever she decided on. She didn't say. So last night I make a bunch of home-made cinnamon rolls. I get here and BFJ changed his mind and brought donuts while GIDK is MIA.
Seriously? You fuckers eat when other people bring stuff and you can't be bothered to provide when it's your turn?
Today was myself, Big Fat Jerk (BFJ), and Girl I Don't Know (GIDK).
For the last week, we've been talking and we came to the following plan: BFJ would bring a breakfast casserole, I would make (or buy) cinnamon rolls, and GIDK would bring...whatever she decided on. She didn't say. So last night I make a bunch of home-made cinnamon rolls. I get here and BFJ changed his mind and brought donuts while GIDK is MIA.
Seriously? You fuckers eat when other people bring stuff and you can't be bothered to provide when it's your turn?
I always cook a slow cooker ham or order in pizzas fr our work brunches. I get crusty when people not only don't contribute but bring their kids who eat first and eat often.