[Rant] Minor Rant III: For a Few Hollers More

Dave

Dave

Staff member
Another minor rant. Today at 4 pm CT I will be doing a stand-up set at a United Way charity event. We got booked and there was 3 of us to do an hour. Then the client changed the time and the other two comics can't make it. I have to do the entire hour myself. I am fucking terrified. I plan on doing about 45 minutes of stand-up and then bringing some of the big guys up for some improv games. But it's just me. I've never done an hour before and I only did 45 once accidentally. I have a tight 15, a decent 30, and the remaining 15 is going to be iffy.
 
Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Dave said:
Another minor rant. Today at 4 pm CT I will be doing a stand-up set at a United Way charity event. We got booked and there was 3 of us to do an hour. Then the client changed the time and the other two comics can't make it. I have to do the entire hour myself. I am fucking terrified. I plan on doing about 45 minutes of stand-up and then bringing some of the big guys up for some improv games. But it's just me. I've never done an hour before and I only did 45 once accidentally. I have a tight 15, a decent 30, and the remaining 15 is going to be iffy.
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Just stay away from the Fish jokes, you'll be great.


(This is meant in the "break a leg" spirit)
 
Gared

Gared

Dave said:
Every Thursday at my work we have people bring in breakfast. There are about 30 of us and it revolves so that teams of 3 people provide the food. Usually one person brings hot food, someone brings drinks and utensils, and someone brings a "side" dish.

Today was myself, Big Fat Jerk (BFJ), and Girl I Don't Know (GIDK).

For the last week, we've been talking and we came to the following plan: BFJ would bring a breakfast casserole, I would make (or buy) cinnamon rolls, and GIDK would bring...whatever she decided on. She didn't say. So last night I make a bunch of home-made cinnamon rolls. I get here and BFJ changed his mind and brought donuts while GIDK is MIA.

Seriously? You fuckers eat when other people bring stuff and you can't be bothered to provide when it's your turn?
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This situation (and the fact that I'm a sick, sick man) is why I tend to over-bring food for potlucks. I never want anyone to feel left-out or under-served, so I tend to overcompensate and bring 3+ dishes instead of one.
 
IronBrig4

IronBrig4

Whenever I host a get-together I make sure to make way too much food. There's always the flaky person who either forgets to bring something or is too hungover from the night before to make it on time.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I was watching the coverage of Hurricane Matthew, each time a reporter called Haiti an island, my eye twitched. It was about 10 times from 3 different reporters.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Live Nation is a bag of flaming dog shit. They order commercials on our stations sometimes, but they won't send the actual mp3s of the spots they want run to the account rep - for some reason they insist on sending them to the Program directors - who have nothing to do with sales or commercials. And they don't even send them to the "right" program directors - they send the country concert promos to our Urban PD, and they send Kanye West stuff to our Country PD. Oh, and not by production deadlines, either. We expect to receive it at some point over the weekend when it's supposed to start Monday.

And we've tried and tried and tried and tried to correct this. Just go through your account rep. That's the only point of contact you need. Send it to her. Talk to her. Everything. That's all.

NOPE, they just keep on doing their infuriating grabassery.
 
blotsfan

blotsfan

I don't suppose you can say "we'll cash your checks but there's no guarentee your ads get played if you don't send it to the right person."
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
blotsfan said:
I don't suppose you can say "we'll cash your checks but there's no guarentee your ads get played if you don't send it to the right person."
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We have to put up with their shit or we don't get further buys, or concert tickets to give away for their events - and let's just say that AAA concert promotion is not exactly an industry with a lot of competition.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
I get to go visit my Alzheimer's riddled mother tomorrow and inform her that her dog's cancer has progressed too far and we have to put him down. It will be the last time she gets to see him. I am not looking forward to this visit.

I know he wasn't a good fit for our family and that I joke a lot about killing him and making it look like an accident, but I really didn't want this to happen although I've been expecting it for some time.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Dave said:
I get to go visit my Alzheimer's riddled mother tomorrow and inform her that her dog's cancer has progressed too far and we have to put him down. It will be the last time she gets to see him. I am not looking forward to this visit.

I know he wasn't a good fit for our family and that I joke a lot about killing him and making it look like an accident, but I really didn't want this to happen although I've been expecting it for some time.
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Someday this will make it into your routine.
And then you can laugh about it.
On the outside.

--Patrick
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
I'll keep doing the "kill him and make it look like an accident" jokes. Hell, I tell a joke about making my grandmother wear my fitbit because she's got palsy and it helps rack up the steps. And then after the crowd groans I say, "I'm kidding! She's dead. I could still put it on her but the ashes fall right through."
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Well, we didn't tell her. First, she didn't recognize the dog. Hell, she hardly recognized me!! So telling her would have done nothing. Shit, she was saying how my father hadn't been there to visit in months and how hurt she was that he'd just left her there. Um...look over your right shoulder, mom. See that vase on the dresser? That does not hold flowers.

So we didn't tell her. It would have been mean.
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

We had a long weekend this past weekend. I visited my in-laws with my wife, in Tainan, in the south of Taiwan. On the third day, I developed some sort of digestive malady and spent more time than I'd like expelling the contents of my guts into a toilet.

The annoying part is, this is at least the third time I've had an abdominal problem while visiting my in-laws in Tainan. The last time it was so serious I ended up in the emergency room. My wife said she's now afraid of heading down to Tainan with me.
 
blotsfan

blotsfan

bhamv3 said:
We had a long weekend this past weekend. I visited my in-laws with my wife, in Tainan, in the south of Taiwan. On the third day, I developed some sort of digestive malady and spent more time than I'd like expelling the contents of my guts into a toilet.

The annoying part is, this is at least the third time I've had an abdominal problem while visiting my in-laws in Tainan. The last time it was so serious I ended up in the emergency room. My wife said she's now afraid of heading down to Tainan with me.
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Anything to get away from those in-laws amirite?
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Found a new place my car doesn't like to start. Our local Wal-mart. It's happened twice there. Luckily, I've taken to parking pretty far away so I can walk and have enough room to push start it. Stick shifts are awesome!
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Dave said:
Found a new place my car doesn't like to start. Our local Wal-mart. It's happened twice there. Luckily, I've taken to parking pretty far away so I can walk and have enough room to push start it. Stick shifts are awesome!
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I miss having a light stick-shift without an interlock. Having a dead battery in my '87 323 was barely even an inconvenience.
Supposedly you can push-start an automatic, you just need to get it up to about 35MPH to do so.
I've never tried it.

--Patrick
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Yeah, the real problem is that people these days don't understand that you can push start a stick shift. So they don't bother getting out of your way when you are pushing it. "I need to get this up to speed, morons! Get the fuck out the way!"
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Dave said:
Yeah, the real problem is that people these days don't understand that you can push start a stick shift. So they don't bother getting out of your way when you are pushing it. "I need to get this up to speed, morons! Get the fuck out the way!"
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You need a Ludacris ring tone.

 
strawman

strawman

PatrThom said:
Supposedly you can push-start an automatic, you just need to get it up to about 35MPH to do so.
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On some very old automatic transmission cars you had a chance. Today's, though, it won't work. Due to the need for towing without damage it's unlikely that you'd damage the vehicle, but I would strongly advise against it anyway.

Today's transmissions rely on both electrical power for solenoids and the internal hydraulic pump to operate the torque converter. Neither would operate correctly with the tires driving the transmission, and you simply won't get power to the engine.

Furthermore, even on older vehicles where it did work you had to get up to a higher speed (25 minimum, most would start around 35), which requires either a hill or another vehicle. Using another vehicle is much worse than a pair of jumper cables - you've got power from the other car, so why risk the scratches on the bumpers and other hazards associated with handling a car that doesn't have power brakes (not the mention power steering)?

If you want to be able to push start your car, a manual really is the only way to go.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

stienman said:
If you want to be able to push start your car, a manual really is the only way to go.
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The reason I never tried it to satisfy my curiosity was mainly, as you say, because the inconvenience outweighed the novelty of the idea. :)

Unfortunately, sticks these days come with an interlock switch mounted on the clutch, preventing the engine from sparking unless the clutch is depressed. Great for keeping you from accidentally starting the car while it is in gear, lousy for push starting.
Most of these can be defeated by splicing in a toggle switch or outright shorting it, but of course you never think of doing so until your car isn't starting, and by then you're usually not in a position to do so.

--Patrick
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

A) Some of these really aren't "minor", folks.
B) It's sometimes fun to read this thread a few days late, after reading the Minor Victory. Some of these didn't work out so bad after all!
 
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