The Dream Thread

fade

fade

Staff member
GasBandit said:
Alright, so, last night I dreamed I came to this forum, and made a post talking about how when I was in the first grade I jumped off the roof of a garage, through the garage's attached basketball hoop, and landed in the driveway without hurting myself, all to impress a girl.

Of course, now that I am awake, I definitely know I did no such thing, but I "remembered" it clearly during the dream. Thing is, the "garage" in my dream was actually modeled after the garage on my own father's house in Colorado (right down to the basketball hoop), which he did not buy until I was almost out of Jr. High, and the girl I was impressing was a girl who was nothing more than a classmate and passing acquaintance... in the second grade... when I lived in Maryland.

At any rate, the dream did not stop there. After I made that post, I apparently decided to go revisit that garage out of nostalgia, and when I arrived I saw a policeman chasing someone around on top of the garage, shouting something about the man having a bike with an "illegal kickstand." I looked lower, and saw a bicycle at the corner of the garage, and its kickstand was mounted to the side of the rear tire - which is obviously a bad idea for a number of reasons, but not illegal per se.

Right behind that, was another bicycle I knew to belong to the policeman.

So I stole it.

The policeman quickly abandoned his pursuit of the guy on the roof to chase me, but as I had his bicycle, he stood no hope of catching me.

Then I woke up.

So... howbowdah.
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The only correct Freudian interpretation is that you're worried about your weird testicles, the kickstand to your bike-penis. So you pass off the cop's bike-penis as your own. Meaning you plan to pass someone else's dick-pic off as your own. But since you're on the internet, you'll get away with it.

Throwing yourself through the basketball goal with a girl nearby is clearly an attempt to "score", with the hoop (notice you focused on the hoop twice, rather than the goal as a whole) being the vagina. The fact that she's a hometown girl means you have an unexplored thing for someone either close to you or associated with some place you know.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Emrys said:
I think you need to either cut down on the spicy wings before bed or start a collection of short stories. You have the perfect title already.
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What, "Illegal Kickstand?"

fade said:
The only correct Freudian interpretation is that you're worried about your weird testicles, the kickstand to your bike-penis. So you pass off the cop's bike-penis as your own. Meaning you plan to pass someone else's dick-pic off as your own. But since you're on the internet, you'll get away with it.

Throwing yourself through the basketball goal with a girl nearby is clearly an attempt to "score", with the hoop (notice you focused on the hoop twice, rather than the goal as a whole) being the vagina. The fact that she's a hometown girl means you have an unexplored thing for someone either close to you or associated with some place you know.
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I'm a bit concerned how that started off as pure nonsense and slowly worked its way to halfway plausible.
 
fade

fade

Staff member
GasBandit said:
I'm a bit concerned how that started off as pure nonsense and slowly worked its way to halfway plausible.
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That accurately reflects my thought process.

If you wanted the plausible explanation of the first part, she's married. Or in a serious relationship. You know this is not good ("illegal"). The cop could represent a legal proceeding like a divorce, that gives you the access to "steal" this person away.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Had a strange and unsettling dream last night.

I dreamed I had bought a house, and had moved into it for about two weeks, and was just starting to get comfortable enough with it to maybe start making some changes, change paint colors, etc, when the actual owners of the house returned from vacation. Turns out the guy I bought the house from wasn't really the owner. It was only at that point in the dream that I remembered the actual buying process, which involved lots of cash in duffel bags in exchange for a key that looked suspiciously like a copy.

At any rate, the family to whom the house belonged wasn't very sympathetic, but they tried to accommodate me by giving me a day to get my things and try to make arrangements... but then my computer wouldn't turn on and my phone wouldn't charge, so I couldn't contact anyone to arrange to move my things, or even try to track down the con man who "sold" the house to me. Then, it turns out, this family was also my cat's original owners, and my cat quickly abandoned me to return to them... then it turned out they also owned my CAR by steps of logic that only make sense when you're dreaming.

So there I am, on the sidewalk with nothing, trying to think of a way to start dealing with this crisis, when the general manager of the radio station where I work walks up and asks me "Where ya been? You coming into work today or not?!" And I reply "I think I need the day off to try to deal with this."

"But you never take a day off!" he says.

"Well, in this case, I think I need one."

Then I woke up.

And went to work.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Last night I got gas on the way home at 2.25/gal. It was 2.30-something the day before, so I figured that meant it would be going up soon.
Then I dreamt that I was on my way to work the following day, and it was at 1.86/gal, and I was all, "AAAAAHHHHHH!!! WHAAAT???"

--Patrick
 
A

Anonymous

Anonymous

I dreamed that I was playing fetch with my dog. When I tossed the retrieving buoy, it made a strange clatter, that shocked me awake...

then I saw my mouse bouncing on my desk.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
All I remember from my dream last night is someone complimenting me on my amazingly perfect golden blonde hair.

I'm not blonde, though. My hair is definitely dark brown (with some areas going gray, admittedly).
 
fade

fade

Staff member
I dreamt I was training as a Sith. There was an academy and the tests were brutal. We were thrown out of a boat at night into tumultuous waters, and told we had to obtain a ribbon from the top of a wooden spire sticking off a half submerged wooden shipwreck. I was almost to it when a fellow classmate pulled me down. The master yelled that I had to unleash my hatred and anger on my colleague's arm before she reached the ribbon. I did and forced her arm back as she reached it, but the teacher said that it was not good enough, yelling over the storm. She said I had to focus on my colleague's elbow and tear away her arm if I truly wanted to win. So I let every aggressive feeling flow and I could feel the power as I tore her arm. Afterwards I felt sick but strong. Like the way heavy stress or too much coffee makes you. I knew I was sick because the dark side was unnatural. It was a really interesting first person experience of the Dark Side.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Last night I dreamed that somebody left a bottle of crystallized urine on my doorstep every night for 6 nights. The seventh night they murdered someone and left the body there instead.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
I'm not a big "lucid dreamer" believer, but last night I was dreaming I was back in my old childhood home and in the dream I said, "Huh. Well, I guess I'm living here again for some reason." I woke up amused.

Oh, and that I had been leaving urine at GasBandit's house.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

fade said:
I dreamt I was training as a Sith. There was an academy and the tests were brutal. We were thrown out of a boat at night into tumultuous waters, and told we had to obtain a ribbon from the top of a wooden spire sticking off a half submerged wooden shipwreck. I was almost to it when a fellow classmate pulled me down. The master yelled that I had to unleash my hatred and anger on my colleague's arm before she reached the ribbon. I did and forced her arm back as she reached it, but the teacher said that it was not good enough, yelling over the storm. She said I had to focus on my colleague's elbow and tear away her arm if I truly wanted to win. So I let every aggressive feeling flow and I could feel the power as I tore her arm. Afterwards I felt sick but strong. Like the way heavy stress or too much coffee makes you. I knew I was sick because the dark side was unnatural. It was a really interesting first person experience of the Dark Side.
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Is your workplace getting competitive?
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

I dreamt I was playing Borderlands. I got a really really awesome orange drop. I think it was a legendary submachinegun that did corrosive damage, and had a stupidly large clip size, like 100+.

Before I could equip it, my wife woke me up so that I wouldn't be late for work, and I got mad at her.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Last night I dreamed I was granted the title of PhD. My "Thesis" was submitted online (no defense of it was required), and it was a crappy unsourced page and a half describing the AI characteristics of the computer controlling Annie from League of Legends in co-op botmatches. It really ticked off a number of people, including some of the bona fide PhDs on this forum. And of course, I had to milk it for all it was worth, despite (or perhaps because of) my knowledge that it was, after all, a complete and utter sham.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

GasBandit said:
Last night I dreamed I was granted the title of PhD. My "Thesis" was submitted online (no defense of it was required), and it was a crappy unsourced page and a half describing the AI characteristics of the computer controlling Annie from League of Legends in co-op botmatches. It really ticked off a number of people, including some of the bona fide PhDs on this forum. And of course, I had to milk it for all it was worth, despite (or perhaps because of) my knowledge that it was, after all, a complete and utter sham.
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Do you watch Better Call Saul?
 
fade

fade

Staff member
GasBandit said:
Last night I dreamed I was granted the title of PhD. My "Thesis" was submitted online (no defense of it was required), and it was a crappy unsourced page and a half describing the AI characteristics of the computer controlling Annie from League of Legends in co-op botmatches. It really ticked off a number of people, including some of the bona fide PhDs on this forum. And of course, I had to milk it for all it was worth, despite (or perhaps because of) my knowledge that it was, after all, a complete and utter sham.
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Ah, so a typical thesis first draft, then.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
For two nights in a row now I have dreamed about being back in my 10th grade english class. I can't even remember the teacher's name.
 
Kovac

Kovac

Pretty weird dream last night.

In the dream I was pregnant - This all seemed pretty normal in the dream despite the fact that i'm a guy.
Towards the end of the dream I could even feel it kicking inside me.

And then I wake up

What the hell?
 
Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Kovac said:
Pretty weird dream last night.

In the dream I was pregnant - This all seemed pretty normal in the dream despite the fact that i'm a guy.
Towards the end of the dream I could even feel it kicking inside me.

And then I wake up

What the hell?
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Did you have to take a big poop afterwards?
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Last night I dreamed a zombified Powers Boothe ate my face.

Bit it off.

Piece by piece.

Chunk by chunk.

Leaving just a skull face.
 
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