I don't want to cry but I can't stop. It seems selfish. What I'm crying about? That she is not here with me? That I won't be hearing her voice again? I won't taste her food or lister her advice anymore? It seems that it's all about me. I should be happy that at least she is not suffering anymore.
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
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I'm so sorry for your loss. It's totally ok to cry.
Fallout New Vegas: Right now I'm desperately trying to mollify one of the remaining members of my team because she's pissed at the increased workload, which means she can't guarantee the quality of her translations and edits (she's a bit of a perfectionist). I'm trying to find the most tactful way to say, "Yes, it sucks having to do all this work and not even be able to make sure you do it well enough, and we're trying to hire more editors, but for now I'm gonna need you to spend less time complaining and more time editing, okay?"
I have a sneaking feeling it's not going to work, and she's gonna be quitting soon too.
"Get a roommate," I'm told. Do they grow on the roommate tree like those jobs on the job tree in the Just-Get-A Garden?
First, at my age, in this town, in this state, I would not trust anyone of a similar age to just come in as a roommate. Student? Yeah, right. Second, Unless it was someone working a similar schedule, we'd always be walking on eggshells around each other's sleep. Third, if my mom ever does get to come home, what then? "Your usefulness is over, so get out"?
My sister just left her job because the commute was killing her back. So funds that would be keeping the mortgage paid have just dried up. What was paying the mortgage has been diverted to the nursing home instead. My job is still looking to disappear at the end of June. The one I interviewed for I didn't get, and that would have been part time anyway.
So even though the really busy days have started, and my paycheck will be running at maximum for the next few weeks, today's a net big lose.
ETA:
The only reason I'm even out of bed on a night off right now is because I'm all slept out. Otherwise, what good is there even being up right now? There's nothing I can do to even start to fix this situation at one in the morning. No one is going to be pulling into my driveway with a briefcase full of money at this or any other hour.
The hotel and my job getting saved doesn't matter any more if the house is lost. Sure, I could possibly find a place for just myself, but that would mean getting rid of four 10+ year old cats and breaking everyone's hearts doing so. With my teeth and other hospital visits, the car insurance, and car repairs an on my dime, there's only enough funds to keep them fed and cleaned up after. We're way behind on vet checkups. There's just no more money.
First, at my age, in this town, in this state, I would not trust anyone of a similar age to just come in as a roommate. Student? Yeah, right. Second, Unless it was someone working a similar schedule, we'd always be walking on eggshells around each other's sleep. Third, if my mom ever does get to come home, what then? "Your usefulness is over, so get out"?
My sister just left her job because the commute was killing her back. So funds that would be keeping the mortgage paid have just dried up. What was paying the mortgage has been diverted to the nursing home instead. My job is still looking to disappear at the end of June. The one I interviewed for I didn't get, and that would have been part time anyway.
So even though the really busy days have started, and my paycheck will be running at maximum for the next few weeks, today's a net big lose.
ETA:
The only reason I'm even out of bed on a night off right now is because I'm all slept out. Otherwise, what good is there even being up right now? There's nothing I can do to even start to fix this situation at one in the morning. No one is going to be pulling into my driveway with a briefcase full of money at this or any other hour.
The hotel and my job getting saved doesn't matter any more if the house is lost. Sure, I could possibly find a place for just myself, but that would mean getting rid of four 10+ year old cats and breaking everyone's hearts doing so. With my teeth and other hospital visits, the car insurance, and car repairs an on my dime, there's only enough funds to keep them fed and cleaned up after. We're way behind on vet checkups. There's just no more money.
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My sister once suggested getting checked out for antidepressants. What is the fucking point of that, especially at this hour? Will it suddenly give me the superhuman ability to shit gold? It certainly didn't do that for you. Prozac isn't going to fill that giant hole in the finances. We already moved the car into my name so the state wouldn't take it over Medicaid for mom. It's so easy to tell me to go to the Just-Get-A garden when you don't have to worry about any of those things. Your job isn't going away because someone in upper management embezzled the property into bankruptcy before you ever came on board. And *I* was the bad guy for getting angry about your "you're not the only one who has to deal" crack when I said the stress over this put me in the ER not once, but TWICE in two weeks?
Excuse the fuck out of me for not wanting to to die being a bit more important than your boss being annoyed with you.
I thought things were turning around, even with not getting the other hotel job, because I was uncluttering my life, eating better, and rekindling new interests. EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR HAVING HOPE.
Excuse the fuck out of me for not wanting to to die being a bit more important than your boss being annoyed with you.
I thought things were turning around, even with not getting the other hotel job, because I was uncluttering my life, eating better, and rekindling new interests. EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR HAVING HOPE.
Coming down from that rage and starting to actually get things done over a bowl of the really good ramen noodles (note: if you see Nissin Raoh in your local Asian market, get some.) As far as I can, I can cut most of the fat from the cable bill. If I beg and plead really nicely, I can avoid the penalty for dropping the package I signed on for in November. I could cut everything that doesn't drop Root, NBCSN, or MLB. I'm not watching HBO or Showtime anyway, not even streaming. The phone line from the cable company can go. I owe AT&T ~$300 still on the payment plan on my iPhone 6s. Don't know where that can fit in.
My sister was asking about a laptop for herself. It wasn't until later that I realized there were still two unused spares in the house. Slower than new, but still. My fee is for her to come over on a weekend to hash out a new budget so there is no need to play that "roommate" card.
Up to now, I was paying the phone and cable bills, my own food, and other personal expenses. Mom and then sister took care of house, utilities, and community expenses like cats and family credit cards. There's still time to adjust that before this hotel job goes bye.
My sister was asking about a laptop for herself. It wasn't until later that I realized there were still two unused spares in the house. Slower than new, but still. My fee is for her to come over on a weekend to hash out a new budget so there is no need to play that "roommate" card.
Up to now, I was paying the phone and cable bills, my own food, and other personal expenses. Mom and then sister took care of house, utilities, and community expenses like cats and family credit cards. There's still time to adjust that before this hotel job goes bye.
An early suggestion was to see if my best friend could move in to help on the expenses and help save the house. That conversation pretty much ended when he said he had four cats and a dog of his own. Not to mention his fiancee. And he already owns his own place. Eight cats and a dog is not happening. 
Maybe not a rant, I dunno .Maybe just venting out of frustration/depression coming on/whatever.
I had a not-so-fun conversation with my boss about two weeks ago - lots of negative words, lots of threats ("I'm not threatening you, I'm just laying down the facts" - yeah, telling me you "may need to go find someone else for my job" is still a threat even if you don't call it that), some personal attacks....
A lot of issues stem from bad communication - both directions, I admit. I'm certainly not blameless or faultless. On the other hand, I've been in this job for a little over 2 months now, 3 weeks of which I wasn't really here but in training at another company.
Anyway, that was Thursday. On Friday I did my best and called him for feedback or input on pretty much every decision I made or action I took. At the end of the day he was "pleasantly surprised".
Then, last week, he was on holiday the whole week, so I had to make do with what I could and with input from his not-quite-colleague-but-other-manager - who clearly has some differences of opinion as to what exactly is part of my job. To make matters a bit worse, I wasn't there on Thursday and Friday either.
So today I spent most of the day cleaning up after mistakes made and oversights and such from when I wasn't there...But apparently my boss decided to tack on an extra day of absence, and I can't reach him for any input.
The worry about tomorrow and all the tinhgs he's going to list I did the wrong, the accusations, the questioning of my decisions, the doubts about me personally,... is making me almost physically ill. I've had a migraine-level headache for two days now, I'm having trouble sleeping, I have some bowel issues and heartburn,... Quite a different type of stress than I'm used to and I'm really not dealing well with it at all.
I don't know if his coming back will be as bad as I fear - but if things don't improve fairly quickly I may just have to quit, because this is just plain unhealthy. I like the job well enough, and with some good coaching I think I could do well in it, but his management style really upsets me and makes me afraid to call him, physically nauseous out of fear of what he'll say and make me think. I mean, I know I haven't seen my therapist in well over 2 months, since I moved, and that's having an effect on me too, but I'm honestly surprised at just how quickly he's managed to get so far under my skin and at just how bad he can make me feel :-( I tried standing up to him - to a point - in that last meeting but my feelings were dismissed, my opinions were pushed aside, and he doesn't seem to feel liek anything's wrong that isn't just linked to my being not what they expected or wanted. I know a lot of this is in my head, and a lot of it is because of him and his approach to things, but I really just feel crappy and start doubting myself - not just professionally - and my capabilities to deal with anything serious.
Blegh.
I had a not-so-fun conversation with my boss about two weeks ago - lots of negative words, lots of threats ("I'm not threatening you, I'm just laying down the facts" - yeah, telling me you "may need to go find someone else for my job" is still a threat even if you don't call it that), some personal attacks....
A lot of issues stem from bad communication - both directions, I admit. I'm certainly not blameless or faultless. On the other hand, I've been in this job for a little over 2 months now, 3 weeks of which I wasn't really here but in training at another company.
Anyway, that was Thursday. On Friday I did my best and called him for feedback or input on pretty much every decision I made or action I took. At the end of the day he was "pleasantly surprised".
Then, last week, he was on holiday the whole week, so I had to make do with what I could and with input from his not-quite-colleague-but-other-manager - who clearly has some differences of opinion as to what exactly is part of my job. To make matters a bit worse, I wasn't there on Thursday and Friday either.
So today I spent most of the day cleaning up after mistakes made and oversights and such from when I wasn't there...But apparently my boss decided to tack on an extra day of absence, and I can't reach him for any input.
The worry about tomorrow and all the tinhgs he's going to list I did the wrong, the accusations, the questioning of my decisions, the doubts about me personally,... is making me almost physically ill. I've had a migraine-level headache for two days now, I'm having trouble sleeping, I have some bowel issues and heartburn,... Quite a different type of stress than I'm used to and I'm really not dealing well with it at all.
I don't know if his coming back will be as bad as I fear - but if things don't improve fairly quickly I may just have to quit, because this is just plain unhealthy. I like the job well enough, and with some good coaching I think I could do well in it, but his management style really upsets me and makes me afraid to call him, physically nauseous out of fear of what he'll say and make me think. I mean, I know I haven't seen my therapist in well over 2 months, since I moved, and that's having an effect on me too, but I'm honestly surprised at just how quickly he's managed to get so far under my skin and at just how bad he can make me feel :-( I tried standing up to him - to a point - in that last meeting but my feelings were dismissed, my opinions were pushed aside, and he doesn't seem to feel liek anything's wrong that isn't just linked to my being not what they expected or wanted. I know a lot of this is in my head, and a lot of it is because of him and his approach to things, but I really just feel crappy and start doubting myself - not just professionally - and my capabilities to deal with anything serious.
Blegh.
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
I'm making this anonymous, but it's going to be clear who this is. I know that. No need to point it out.
I need to get something off my chest to someone. Why now? I don't know. Just feels right. Guess it's part of healing.
My whole life I worked and strove for one job I always wanted. My work paid off, and I got that job. I no longer have that job. What I have are a million public-facing excuses as to why I don't, and one real reason. It's nothing illegal, but it's certainly morally compromising. I hate myself for my failure, and would give almost anything to take it back.
About 8 years ago now, I slept with a student. It's not something I would've done in my right mind. I got really drunk at the grad student opening bar bash we have, and one woman started coming on to me a lot. We already had a banter from classes. I followed her back to her place (walking), and lo and behold, her roommate, who was also one of my students, also started hitting on me. So my drunk self thinks I'm getting a threesome. So I start playing back with the roommate. One thing leads to another... I'm a bit in heaven for the moment, because honestly speaking, my wife has never been a sexual person, and I've never really been with anyone else. So I end up pissing off the original student--who had no intention of a threesome.
Oh, but it gets so much worse.
Anyway, I am a father, so I can recognize the physical signs of when a woman is pregnant. I vomit in the school bathroom. The first student brings me a "congratulations" lunch (ironically of course). My ears literally do that movie thing where everything goes dim like I'm underwater. The roommate herself never says a thing to me.
Two agonizing years pass. I'm afraid to say a thing. She never does. Her boyfriend knows. At the end of two years, he breaks up with her. She's told him it was his the whole time. My career as a scientist is failing because I am so stressed out. My role as a father is failing. The one person I should be able to talk to I cannot, because I cannot see how it would do anything but hurt. These are the worst two years of my life. Maybe this sounds silly to people who have been through much worse, but it has been my goal in life to this point to be some kind of moral example, and I've failed.
So of course the now-ex demands a paternity test. She tells me. I'm terrified. I consider running away. Committing suicide. But in the end I buck up and take the test. I've done the math a million times. I've tried ever calculation formula on the medical books. But she tells me that she slept with both of us that same night. Three days for the results. The longest three days in the world. Finally the results come back, and it's not me. It's not me. The kid truly is the boyfriend's. I had no idea--in a strange quirk, the boyfriend and I could be long lost brothers, so there's no appearance-based relief before this point.
I should be elated, right? But the damage is done. There's a kind of sick relief, like right after you throw up after a long night of drinking. But there's all the dry heaves. The other grad students gossip. You can tell they know. I cannot stay in this place because it's tainted. So I uproot everything, and quit the job I always wanted to get away from it all. It's made changes to my personality that are deeply entrenched, and that 8 years later I still cannot fully shake it off.
It was all my fault, all my doing, and I blame no one else. I have such difficulty moving on. It seems like I don't deserve to move on.
I need to get something off my chest to someone. Why now? I don't know. Just feels right. Guess it's part of healing.
My whole life I worked and strove for one job I always wanted. My work paid off, and I got that job. I no longer have that job. What I have are a million public-facing excuses as to why I don't, and one real reason. It's nothing illegal, but it's certainly morally compromising. I hate myself for my failure, and would give almost anything to take it back.
About 8 years ago now, I slept with a student. It's not something I would've done in my right mind. I got really drunk at the grad student opening bar bash we have, and one woman started coming on to me a lot. We already had a banter from classes. I followed her back to her place (walking), and lo and behold, her roommate, who was also one of my students, also started hitting on me. So my drunk self thinks I'm getting a threesome. So I start playing back with the roommate. One thing leads to another... I'm a bit in heaven for the moment, because honestly speaking, my wife has never been a sexual person, and I've never really been with anyone else. So I end up pissing off the original student--who had no intention of a threesome.
Oh, but it gets so much worse.
Anyway, I am a father, so I can recognize the physical signs of when a woman is pregnant. I vomit in the school bathroom. The first student brings me a "congratulations" lunch (ironically of course). My ears literally do that movie thing where everything goes dim like I'm underwater. The roommate herself never says a thing to me.
Two agonizing years pass. I'm afraid to say a thing. She never does. Her boyfriend knows. At the end of two years, he breaks up with her. She's told him it was his the whole time. My career as a scientist is failing because I am so stressed out. My role as a father is failing. The one person I should be able to talk to I cannot, because I cannot see how it would do anything but hurt. These are the worst two years of my life. Maybe this sounds silly to people who have been through much worse, but it has been my goal in life to this point to be some kind of moral example, and I've failed.
So of course the now-ex demands a paternity test. She tells me. I'm terrified. I consider running away. Committing suicide. But in the end I buck up and take the test. I've done the math a million times. I've tried ever calculation formula on the medical books. But she tells me that she slept with both of us that same night. Three days for the results. The longest three days in the world. Finally the results come back, and it's not me. It's not me. The kid truly is the boyfriend's. I had no idea--in a strange quirk, the boyfriend and I could be long lost brothers, so there's no appearance-based relief before this point.
I should be elated, right? But the damage is done. There's a kind of sick relief, like right after you throw up after a long night of drinking. But there's all the dry heaves. The other grad students gossip. You can tell they know. I cannot stay in this place because it's tainted. So I uproot everything, and quit the job I always wanted to get away from it all. It's made changes to my personality that are deeply entrenched, and that 8 years later I still cannot fully shake it off.
It was all my fault, all my doing, and I blame no one else. I have such difficulty moving on. It seems like I don't deserve to move on.
The repair shop keeps finding more damage to the front end of my car, and today they are disassembling the entire front end to measure the frame. So this compounded with the anxiety I have about my PRK this week is leaving me feeling like I'm going to throw up any second. Thanks brain for not registering that I needed to stop faster a month ago.
That sounds like being dragged through Hell and I bet you're glad it's over. Everyone has something in their life that sits at the top of the "Shouldn't have done this" pedestal, sounds like you're thankful this one only had to happen once before wisdom set in.
--Patrick
Dave
Staff member
Black lights pick up urine stains?[DOUBLEPOST=1494895394,1494895386][/DOUBLEPOST]TIL!
Yep, cat urine glows under black light.
Of course, other substances glow under black light and this is the bedroom, so...
What I'm saying is just be careful.
Pet stores and larger vet clinics sell the carpet cleaners with the mini black lights. Scary, but necessary sometimes.
After my sisters incident two years ago, it put a significant strain on the family dynamic. Because I had moved away, there was already some anger/annoyance that I had 'abandoned' my family and my attempts to maintain contact were only appreciated after the fact. Her cardiac arrest and subsequent brain injury plus rehab introduced more poison than necessary into that relationship and it has been over a year since I spoke to my mother and brother, and 6 months from my father. Over the past 3 years, none have actually ever reached out to me and it's always been me calling on events.
This Monday I received a very simple email from my dad.
Dad:
Couldn’t phone your mother on Mother’s Day?
I had anticipated this email and had a response queued up and ready to go! (Because that's how I roll)
Me:
Couldn’t phone your son on his engagement/wedding day/post wedding?
Couldn’t phone your son on the announcement of his first kid?
Couldn’t phone your son on his birthday? (three years)
Couldn’t phone your daughter-in-law on her birthday? (two years)
Couldn’t phone your son on Thanksgiving? (two years)
Couldn’t phone your son on Christmas? (two years)
You can take your righteous indignation and shove it you know where.
Dad:
Phone works both ways. Seems like a lot of selfishness to me.
You obviously have no respect for your mother or me and I hope you don’t treat your wife's mom and dad this way.
This began a long string of emails that I won't repeat here suffice to say I have to now officially wash my dad out of my life because he's become just as corrupted as my mom. I feel no pain or anguish about this, just frustration and anger. It's apparent he's hurting, and it's easier to harangue the son that lives 2000km away than the wife he lives with but I choose not to participate. We all have choices to make, and mine are too maintain my sanity and self. You may not get to choose family, but you don't have to choose stupidity.
End rant. Something I needed to get off my chest.
This Monday I received a very simple email from my dad.
Dad:
Couldn’t phone your mother on Mother’s Day?
I had anticipated this email and had a response queued up and ready to go! (Because that's how I roll)
Me:
Couldn’t phone your son on his engagement/wedding day/post wedding?
Couldn’t phone your son on the announcement of his first kid?
Couldn’t phone your son on his birthday? (three years)
Couldn’t phone your daughter-in-law on her birthday? (two years)
Couldn’t phone your son on Thanksgiving? (two years)
Couldn’t phone your son on Christmas? (two years)
You can take your righteous indignation and shove it you know where.
Dad:
Phone works both ways. Seems like a lot of selfishness to me.
You obviously have no respect for your mother or me and I hope you don’t treat your wife's mom and dad this way.
This began a long string of emails that I won't repeat here suffice to say I have to now officially wash my dad out of my life because he's become just as corrupted as my mom. I feel no pain or anguish about this, just frustration and anger. It's apparent he's hurting, and it's easier to harangue the son that lives 2000km away than the wife he lives with but I choose not to participate. We all have choices to make, and mine are too maintain my sanity and self. You may not get to choose family, but you don't have to choose stupidity.
End rant. Something I needed to get off my chest.
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
So it looks very likely like I will not be getting a bonus this year. Just got my review and it was 2.25 out of 5, all because of the one impossible incident that I fucked up but still almost pulled off against all odds. So I guess I don't get to go down to Texas to meet my family in July as I'd planned. It sucks that I absolutely have to have this job and have to just bend over and take it because I have no other options. I love my job but this place sometimes...
For example, they shelled out thousands of dollars for a softball team, they just paid about $50,000 setting up lights around the building to shine different colors at various times. They just replaced an entire floor of chairs with the exact same chair type because the ones they had were the wrong color. They fucking waste money right and left here, but when someone makes a mistake that ends up having 0 effect on the bottom line (although admittedly it could have had a significant effect) then they get punished disproportionaly.
For example, they shelled out thousands of dollars for a softball team, they just paid about $50,000 setting up lights around the building to shine different colors at various times. They just replaced an entire floor of chairs with the exact same chair type because the ones they had were the wrong color. They fucking waste money right and left here, but when someone makes a mistake that ends up having 0 effect on the bottom line (although admittedly it could have had a significant effect) then they get punished disproportionaly.
Damn y'all. Lot of folks hurting on halforums. Hope things start looking up for all of you.
And there goes any hope of buying a home this year. We followed the instructions of our prospective lender (pay your high-balance store card down, but not off; don't open any new accounts; don't worry about your average account age dropping when your car loan matures; pay off your collection accounts) and whaddya know, my wife's credit rating just dropped like a fucking rock. And why did it drop like a fucking rock? According to Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion it's because:
1) Her average active account age, which went down when her car loan matured, is too low.
2) She hasn't been using her (formerly) high-balance store card.
3) She doesn't have any credit cards.
4) She doesn't have enough accounts.
So, I guess that means we'll have to find an apartment in Oregon now, because we can't stay here.
1) Her average active account age, which went down when her car loan matured, is too low.
2) She hasn't been using her (formerly) high-balance store card.
3) She doesn't have any credit cards.
4) She doesn't have enough accounts.
So, I guess that means we'll have to find an apartment in Oregon now, because we can't stay here.
That sucks, they were supposed to be the expert. I recently started using Credit Karma on my phone (free) which looks at Transunion and Equifax credit scores and gives you several suggestions as to what you can do to increase your score, and how many points those actions would change the score by.
Too little, too late for this year, but plan for next year.
Also, it may not apply to your situation, but when my wife asked off hand if we could put the loan in my name rather than joint, would it then matter what her credit score or debt ratio was? The loan officer explained that he was hoping we'd bring it up because he's not allowed to make suggestions like that, and yes, if the loan was only in my name it would go through without problem.
So the house is in both our names, but the mortgage is only in my name because all the credit cards are in her name, and while her credit score was fine, the amount of debt between the two of us prevented the loan from being approved, but the debt that's only in her name doesn't count against me if I'm the only one signing for the loan. It should work the same way for credit score alone. But you really have to trust each other and be committed. She moved all the credit cards and a few other debts into her name years ago because she manages our finances and it was annoying to have banks and others constantly ask for my permission to allow her to do certain things with the accounts that require all account owners to approve. It also significantly simplified closing because we didn't have to both sign each and every single document.
Something to consider if your score is good and you aren't encumbered by other debt.
Too little, too late for this year, but plan for next year.
Also, it may not apply to your situation, but when my wife asked off hand if we could put the loan in my name rather than joint, would it then matter what her credit score or debt ratio was? The loan officer explained that he was hoping we'd bring it up because he's not allowed to make suggestions like that, and yes, if the loan was only in my name it would go through without problem.
So the house is in both our names, but the mortgage is only in my name because all the credit cards are in her name, and while her credit score was fine, the amount of debt between the two of us prevented the loan from being approved, but the debt that's only in her name doesn't count against me if I'm the only one signing for the loan. It should work the same way for credit score alone. But you really have to trust each other and be committed. She moved all the credit cards and a few other debts into her name years ago because she manages our finances and it was annoying to have banks and others constantly ask for my permission to allow her to do certain things with the accounts that require all account owners to approve. It also significantly simplified closing because we didn't have to both sign each and every single document.
Something to consider if your score is good and you aren't encumbered by other debt.
See, my wife and I both have Credit Karma, but our lender's instructions rather specifically went against all of their credit improvement recommendations except paying off our collection accounts. And, when we wanted her to pull credit for an official pre-approval attempt, she talked us out of it because "Credit Karma is incredibly inaccurate, it should be banned, it's constantly giving people false hope and misinformation about their credit scores." Which is odd, since the whole reason I started using Credit Karma instead of Experian's $25/month credit monitoring service was because the Chief Risk Officer at O&M Bank recommended it to my mother (who at the time was an AVP for a bank they recently purchased).
As to the rest of it - it is great advice. Sadly, we were putting this in my wife's name because my credit score (while higher) comes along with a seriously high number of medical collections, including a few that have been to court and garnished my wages. So, we're just going to look for an apartment or a house to rent for a year or two, work constantly to pay down all of my debt, and try again in a little while. The only part of it I really regret is that we've been literally going hungry to avoid opening any new accounts or borrowing anything and to pay down all of the accounts in her name and keep all of our bills paid on time.
I'm furious on your behalf! I don't know what to say other than that I'm so sorry that they gave you such terrible advice.
That's appalling.
That's appalling.
1) Student makes sexually explicit and totally inappropriate gesture in class
2) I see her do this and see her laugh afterwards, so I send her to the office with a referral
3) She initially denies it, then refuses to go, and then runs off and disappears (as if that makes it just go away)
4) Write 2nd referral, contact parents to explain
5) Parents pull the old "our daughter would never do such a thing, you must be mistaken" bullshit
6) Calmly explain exactly what I saw and make it clear there was no mistake
...
7) Come in this morning, find the girl scowling at me and my admin saying she's being moved from my class for the last 2 weeks of school
8) Parents are apparently raising hell and calling me a liar (what in the fuck do I get out of lying, exactly?)
Thank god I have earned credibility around here. Admin believes me, but it still pisses me off. The only other time I had a parent doing something like this, it was because I wrote a recommendation letter for a student to get into a prestigious private school and that school lost the letter... so they told the parents I never wrote it. Those parents tried to get me fired for a week until the private school called and admitted that they found my recommendation later stuck to some other paperwork.
I fucking hate dealing with parents. Worst part of the job.
And this was all before 8am! It's going to be a splendid day, I can tell.
2) I see her do this and see her laugh afterwards, so I send her to the office with a referral
3) She initially denies it, then refuses to go, and then runs off and disappears (as if that makes it just go away)
4) Write 2nd referral, contact parents to explain
5) Parents pull the old "our daughter would never do such a thing, you must be mistaken" bullshit
6) Calmly explain exactly what I saw and make it clear there was no mistake
...
7) Come in this morning, find the girl scowling at me and my admin saying she's being moved from my class for the last 2 weeks of school
8) Parents are apparently raising hell and calling me a liar (what in the fuck do I get out of lying, exactly?)
Thank god I have earned credibility around here. Admin believes me, but it still pisses me off. The only other time I had a parent doing something like this, it was because I wrote a recommendation letter for a student to get into a prestigious private school and that school lost the letter... so they told the parents I never wrote it. Those parents tried to get me fired for a week until the private school called and admitted that they found my recommendation later stuck to some other paperwork.
I fucking hate dealing with parents. Worst part of the job.
And this was all before 8am! It's going to be a splendid day, I can tell.
That's when you call the private school and retract your recommendation.
That'd definitely teach the minor a lesson about being born to helicopter cunts.