1 Aprimay, 5503 - Gas and Dei ring in the new year by ringing each other's bells. And non in a good/sexy way. Nope, Gas has to go and insult her, and she pops him one, and next thing you know they've beaten each other into hamburger. Gas gets the worst of it, but they're both laid up for a day.
Pictured: You can ring my bee-eee-eeell you can ring my bell. Ah-ah.
3 Apr - The evil spirit compels many of the boomalopes in the area to go berserk. Fires rage. Horror of horrors, the horseshoe pin - the settlement's only gaming attraction - is destroyed.
Pictured: Boom, baby
5 Apr - The Cabras are back at it again. They attack just before midnight. They are absolutely decimated, but Ashburner's favorite warthog, Spooky, is grievously injured, and loses a leg and a jaw. No captives are taken. Terrik also receives a shattered rib.
Pictured: The Cabras beat feet - those of them still on their feet, anyway.
7 Apr - in the wee hours of the morning, a greedy compulsive liar with a drug habit who is incapable of caring, socializing, or intellectual work begs for shelter from the pirates chasing him. The Halforumites tell him to keep walking. The radio relays his panicked scream before it is switched off.
Pictured: Ha ha ha, no.
8 Apr - Components for the newfangled machines are running low. A caravan is formed with Dei and Tinwhistler heading into town to trade for supplies. Dei trades the settlements vast collection of skins and crappy pirate weapons (along with 150 eggs) for lots of components, a jaw replacement for Spooky, and all the raw steel they can carry. Plus about 1000 silver in cash.
Pictured: Quite a haul
13 Apr - Another lost member of the tribe wanders to West Acapulco, and is greeted with open arms. Her name is CeltZ, a 44 year old optimist who likes to cook, craft, and mine, but is incapable of violence.
14 Apr - The Cabras are back for more, with another midnight raid. Ashburner's sister is with them. She is shot down by GasBandit, and that friendship is sundered right there. In my defense, she WAS coming straight at me with a spear. Terrik also takes an arrow to the spine, but is expected to recover. Ashburner personally guns down two more fleeing Cabras in his grief. Even with his violent outburst, five prisoners are taken. They are treated for their wounds and released, which (along with the obvious effects of attrition, no doubt) finally convinces the Cabras to end their aggression with the Halforums Tribe and open trade negotiations. Ashburner buries his sister with the other unfortunate tribespeople who ended up on the wrong side of fate.
4 Jugust - Wildfires are set outside the wall by a dry thunderstorm. Huge swaths of land (plus some wildlife) are burned, and Snuffles sustains burns on his torso and right leg. A little medicine and rest puts him back on his feet within a day, but this underscores the need for an infirmary, sooner the better.
Pictured: Fire, water, burn.
7 Jugust - A party of offworlders visits as they pass by. Dei's grandmother is among them, surprisingly enough. She is a guard for their party. Dei visits with her and trades with the visitors, paying exorbitantly for components - whatever, pirates will always bring more crap weapons to sell, and Snuffles will always make more porny artwork.
8 Jugust - a pack of man-eating panthers moves into the area. GasBandit is badly lacerated, loses an ear, and catches a hit of buckshot in the arm from Shego. Dei loses a toe, and almost the whole leg. Ashburner similarly accidentally hits Terrik in the back with his machine pistol fire.
Pictured: Marvel at the Black Panthers
10 Jug - The first two beds are completed in the new infirmary, which also has sterile tile and climate control. The tribe is starting to feel less "tribal" and more outlander.
11 Jug - The evil spirit reveals itself! A great metal house, or a piece of an even greater one, falls from the sky, and voices in every man and woman's head begins filling their thoughts with horrific, violent impulses. The more knowledgeable members of the tribe who used to be offworlders caution that, if disturbed, blood machines will come pouring out! The tribe fears a repeat of the massacre of years ago, but the horror has crashed inside the walls and the psychic assault cannot be ignored. Sandbags are erected around it, and then the carnage begins. Two scythers and a caterpillar erupt from the crashed ship part. The battle isn't prolonged, and the mechanoids are put down. Dei takes a charge lance shot in the gut, almost destroying a kidney. There is relief that the tribe can now stand up to the demons that destroyed their past lives.
Pictured: Drop your weapon - you have fifteen seconds to comply.
12 Jug - CeltZ says something that insults Tinwhistler so much he wails on her. The poor woman stands no chance against the former shock trooper. Tin at least comes to his senses before she is beaten to incapacity, and she goes to the infirmary under her own power.
15 Jug - A heat wave sets in, threatening heatstroke to all who labor outside. Evaporative coolers are built to supplement the air conditioners, so as to not overtax the electric grid.
1 Septober - Dei is attacked by a timberwolf. Terrik attempts to help her, but ends up shooting one of her fingers off.
2 Sept - Terrik decides a grizzly bear in the settlement needs killing. He gets a little clawed up. It would have been worse if other Halforumites hadn't backed his play. Dave chases a wounded turkey all the way around the outer wall. If the turrets hadn't finished it off, who knows how many laps it would have led him on?
Pictured: Terrik is unBEARable.
3 Sept - Pirate Sappers attack from the west. They bring sniper rifles. Shego is downed by sniper fire, and Dei is downed and Terrik is seriously injured when a defense turret malfunctions and explodes. The pirates are driven off, but Shego has lost her left leg and her right foot... which is a real puzzler, considering she was hiding behind sandbags at the time.
4 Sept - Another bear gets in and mauls a warthog. With half its fighters down wounded, the tribe barely manages to kill the bear and save the pig.
5 Sept - More pirates attack. No rest for the wicked. Shego can't help defend, as she's still legless, and Dei is still recovering in the infirmary. GasBandit takes a shot to the brain, and dies instantly. Tinwhistler takes too many to the chest and slumps over, dead. Terrik's bonded wolf companion dies of blood loss before help arrives. The pirates are driven back, but the terrible cost has left morale in the dirt. Even Ashburner isn't able to take much solace in GasBandit's death, despite his grudge against him for the death of his sister.
Pictured: The death of the Gas Bandit
6 Sept - GasBandit and Tinwhistler are buried in the graveyard. Tinwhistler is nude, as he would have wanted.
8 Sept - Another sapper raid, this time from the south. Jeez, enough with the raids already! It's driven back with some wounds to Dei and Terrik, but the ranks of the attack animals are eviscerated. Spooky and Darya, Ash and Dei's boars, both die, further driving them into depression. Ravenpoe forms a bond with a warthog he names Black, who has had both its eyes shot out. In light of recent events, the decision is made to militarize the entire warthog population, whereas before only a few were used in combat and the rest were simply working animals.
Pictured: Pigs vs Pirates
9 Sept - Shego is fitted for a peg leg, though she's still missing the other foot. Research is getting close to figuring out basic prosthetics, and she'll wait for that.
11 Sep - Shegokigo gets her prosthetic foot, and a real prosthetic leg to replace the peg leg.
12 Sep - Ravenpoe and Dei have spent a lot of time talking in private in the last few days. Poe seems to have worn down her reluctance, and today they become lovers. Danil the alpaca has a heart attack, but Snuffles successfully rescuscitates it.
13 Sep - A timber wolf sneaks into the settlement, but is killed before it can do any mischief.
14 Sep - Another mechanoid ship crashes just inside the wall to the east. As before, sandbags are set up, and the blood machines are sent back to hell. A few hogs are wounded, but aside from one lost eye, not seriously.
1 Dec - The Pirates are back. Yes, again. The new, improved killzone does its job, and a tidal wave of pork engulfs the pirates. Three hogs are lost, but the pirates are absolutely demolished. One is taken prisoner.
10 Dec - Several days pass blessedly without incident. Ravenpoe decides this is a good time to pop the question. Dei agrees to marry him. That night, West Acapulco is attacked by 34 man-eating chinchillas. Everybody gets a little bitten and scratched, and one piglet is killed, but other than that... tons of free chinchilla meat and fur. One of Pez's bites gets infected, and he's out of commission for a day.
Pictured: Chinchillapocalype 2017
12 Dec - Mechanoids drop in outside the wall via transport pods. Two scythers and a caterpillar. Dei takes a shot in the gut and nearly bleeds out, but is rescued in time. A couple hogs are lost.
14 Dec - It's been a very mild winter, and the growing season never stopped. The colony has so much surplus rice that much goes to waste, rotting in storage.
15 Dec - A grizzly bear sneaks past everyone somehow and eats a chicken. It is hunted down by every tribesman with a gun, and is quickly killed.
Pictured: The state of West Acapulco at the end of 5503