figmentPez
Staff member
Tonight on the History Channel: Food Tech "Pancakes & Bacon"
I've started going by one of my middle names in select situations. "Kenmore." Someone at the fridge of my social circle approached me about it the other day.
"Why are you going by Kenmore now?"
"Just thought I'd try using one of my middle names for a while. It sounds more distinctive than 'Joshua.'"
"Oh. I didn't know it was a name. I thought it was an appliance."
I've gotten the appliance comment my entire life. But not knowing it was a name?! Come on!
Parenthood:Last night I dreamt that I saw a nuclear bomb detonate. I watched as the blast came towards us, looking thought the windows down at the surrounding woods as the white, glowing smoke moved through, enveloping everything. I wasn't afraid, but when I looked down at my three year old boy, I could see it was scaring him, so I reached out to try and comfort him, even as I watched the blast move through the room. I actually watched both of my arms disintegrate as I tried to reach for him.
I...I am not well rested today.
Phantom Limb freak out. Back sometime during the interwar years, my great uncle had his arm ripped out by a cotton-gin. That he survived that in that time frame is one miracle. But the family buried the arm in a marked grave on the family plot, that was behind the house. About a week later he woke up screaming, in pain, demanding that his brothers go out, dig up the arm... Because the ants were biting it. They tried to tell him that it was just his imagination. He would not change his mind. So his 3 brothers go out and dig up the arm...That'd probably just turn it into phantom limb ache, and then you couldn't even scratch it.
You are most likely one of the following;What in the freakin hell? I feel like I have a goddamn tapeworm today. In the past 2 hours I've had 1/2 cup of fried rice, kung pao tofu, and a banana, and I'm hungry again. You'd better quit bitching, stomach, because you're not getting anything else right now.
You are most likely one of the following;What in the freakin hell? I feel like I have a goddamn tapeworm today. In the past 2 hours I've had 1/2 cup of fried rice, kung pao tofu, and a banana, and I'm hungry again. You'd better quit bitching, stomach, because you're not getting anything else right now.
Hurray! What name are you going with? Gruegal? Cajunbeard?:laugh: No, it's actually gruebeard's. I finally agreed to marry him. Now excuse me, I have to go get the bun out of the oven.