Can I has bawww thread now?

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Chazwozel

:horn: Relationship from 15-20, same dude... "why would you want to put yourself through the hell that is marriage before getting married."



Marriage is like insurance, you give and give and get nothing back in return.
 
On the one hand, of course, Mathk is right - you've been in a relationship for a quarter of your life, probably more than 1/3 of your consciously remembered life. Practically anything can, and may, remind you of him.
OTOH, it seems to me you ere sort of staying together 'just because'...So perhapos the other shoe won't drop. I forget ho had a thread about a similar thing very recently (Necronic?).

Also, I redecorated completely as well. It helps. :)
 
you were in a relationship from 15 to 20. Good luck finding anything that doesnt remind you of him.
Come on, in almost any 5 year relationship thats going to be true.[/QUOTE]

true enough but it is magnified by their age. Heh, don't get me wrong, i wish the girl the best

You know, this made me realize something... since THE breakup (ouch etc), i don't share music anymore with girls i am with. I do not tell them about the bands i like the most, i do not tell them of all the places i like to go the most.

It's like, I've been telling to myself: those memories are mine and won't be spoiled whenever the relationshit goes to shit.
 

ElJuski

Staff member
Yeah, the other shoe will drop eventually. And you'll probably always have a soft spot for the dude.

Girl, you know more about my ex-bawww past probably more than anyone else here (uhm, BananaHands excluded IM FUCKING WATCHING YOU ASSHOLE). It's a process, especially if it means something to you, which no doubt it will. If it doesn't, then good thing that you're rid of it all!

Change your room, hide your stuff, but keep some things to look back in the future. Those five years will be tainted with that guy, and hopefully that will lead to some nostalgia. You can still feel for the dude and be able to move on. Time will come when that time was that, uh, time.
 
Wow, I'm late. Not that I had much to say that hasn't already been said.

However, I'd be wary the other shoe. And it'll likely drop when your boyfriend realizes that you are broken up. Because I would wager that at this moment he doesn't think that.

If he has in the past made a habit of ignoring you for a few days and then coming back and everything resumes to normal, expect him to be coming around soon. You may feel that you made it perfectly clear, and that you broke up with him, but I doubt he sees it and or knows it yet.

My only other advice comes from reading your recent little foray into excitement with your old friend. Which I have nothing wrong with a little excitement and a little fun. But I would recommend taking some real time before you get into a relationship, especially after ending on that has lasted for five years and most of your developing maturing.
 
Yeah, the other shoe will drop eventually. And you'll probably always have a soft spot for the dude.

Girl, you know more about my ex-bawww past probably more than anyone else here (uhm, BananaHands excluded IM FUCKING WATCHING YOU ASSHOLE). It's a process, especially if it means something to you, which no doubt it will. If it doesn't, then good thing that you're rid of it all!

Change your room, hide your stuff, but keep some things to look back in the future. Those five years will be tainted with that guy, and hopefully that will lead to some nostalgia. You can still feel for the dude and be able to move on. Time will come when that time was that, uh, time.
To steal a meme from another forum I post in:

HAVE SEX WITH HER!

I kid.
 
I think you made the right decision. He hasn't changed, and he won't change. He treats you this way because it works - it gives him the results he wants.

Be super careful about entering another long term relationship in the next year or three - you may not realize or sense it, but you have long been 'trained' the act and react 'appropriately' to guys of his type. We all mold ourselves to our partners to some degree - intentionally and unintentionally - to maintain our relationship.

It takes awhile to find and get rid of bad habits, reactions, responses, tactics, etc, and cultivate those that you really want to use. You've already made steps to break out of this relationship pattern, and I doubt you'll have significant trouble making progress, but if you think critically about your interactions with others you will notice yourself doing things, for instance, that are meant to marginalize yourself and lift up the person you are interacting with.

You are a perfectly capable, intelligent, awesome person. Don't ever let anyone else - most of all yourself - tell you otherwise.

I'm tired and sick, so I can only hope the above makes sense and is inoffensive.
 
L

Lally

It seems strange to say in response to such a difficult time/decision, but I'm really really happy for you. I read through the thread, planning on writing advice and a shared experience but you already made a decision. It took someone close to me ten years, two kids, and losing pretty much everything that made her an individual to come to the same decision.
 
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