This girl... a semi illustrated story
- Thread starter Silver Jelly
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E
Element 117
haha, the rest of your advice was awesome, but you know me, E, I couldn't let that go
---------- Post added at 03:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:55 PM ----------
AHAHAHAaaaahahaWasabi, why don't you have a seat right over there.
W
Wasabi Poptart
I swear I only came here because I thought this was a kid in trouble! I wanted to help! With copious amounts of alcohol and a massage.Wasabi, why don't you have a seat right over there.
:lol:
[
If you tell her all this stuff and are then shot down and you hang around as a friend, then you are a scavenger. You'll sit there waiting for her to end whatever relationship she is in and hope that she'll finally see you as the cool guy you are. It's a trap that too many men fall into these days, and trust me on this: women love it. They either love the ego boost they get from a guy that's always attracted to them, or they love the fact that they have a guy friend that is always bending over backwards for them, being basically the best friend that anyone could ever ask for. But at the end of the day they go to bed with someone else.
But right now you aren't a herbivore, you're a man who has lost his fangs. Without a sense of self-confidence and presence you won't meet many women that are worth your time. You need to get that back, and neither I nor anyone else can tell you how to do it. It's just part of being a man. I had someone take it from me (or convince me to give it up) a while ago, and it's been hard rebuilding it, but if you spend your life unsure whether you have anything worth offering a woman then you're also unsure if you have anything to offer the world at large. And that's a much more serious problem.
Society does a good job of making men circus lions, and we forget that the lion tamer with his little whip isn't a real threat. We all suffer from this, whether it's women or our job or our finances or whatever. We forget that we are the beginning and the end of our world, and we control our own destiny in a way that no one else ever can.
This isn't to say that you can ever remove fear. Fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, fear of rejection or reproach. That will always be there. But you have to learn to cope with it. The best description I have heard is that it is like a pebble in your shoe. It's there. It's irritating. But you just do your best to ignore it and you keep running.
So if nothing else, take this as an oppurtunity to look at yourself. Why do you lack your fangs? Are your confidence issues just with women or are they rooted at a much deeper level. If so, look to the lion tamers in your life, and regain your ego. Tear their throats out. You and you alone are the master of your domain.
PS I don't know why I went on with this whole Lion Tamer metaphor. I couldn't stop thinking of that old Monty Python skit. Totally wrecked the strength of the imagery in my mind.[/QUOTE]
Necronic, you sir are my personal fucking motivator. Courage Wolf ain't got SHIT on you.
Manly tears are being shed at the sheer awesomeness being expounded here.
What the fuck am I then, seeing I haven't done any of the things you say? A herbivore?[/QUOTE]
If you tell her all this stuff and are then shot down and you hang around as a friend, then you are a scavenger. You'll sit there waiting for her to end whatever relationship she is in and hope that she'll finally see you as the cool guy you are. It's a trap that too many men fall into these days, and trust me on this: women love it. They either love the ego boost they get from a guy that's always attracted to them, or they love the fact that they have a guy friend that is always bending over backwards for them, being basically the best friend that anyone could ever ask for. But at the end of the day they go to bed with someone else.
But right now you aren't a herbivore, you're a man who has lost his fangs. Without a sense of self-confidence and presence you won't meet many women that are worth your time. You need to get that back, and neither I nor anyone else can tell you how to do it. It's just part of being a man. I had someone take it from me (or convince me to give it up) a while ago, and it's been hard rebuilding it, but if you spend your life unsure whether you have anything worth offering a woman then you're also unsure if you have anything to offer the world at large. And that's a much more serious problem.
Society does a good job of making men circus lions, and we forget that the lion tamer with his little whip isn't a real threat. We all suffer from this, whether it's women or our job or our finances or whatever. We forget that we are the beginning and the end of our world, and we control our own destiny in a way that no one else ever can.
This isn't to say that you can ever remove fear. Fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, fear of rejection or reproach. That will always be there. But you have to learn to cope with it. The best description I have heard is that it is like a pebble in your shoe. It's there. It's irritating. But you just do your best to ignore it and you keep running.
So if nothing else, take this as an oppurtunity to look at yourself. Why do you lack your fangs? Are your confidence issues just with women or are they rooted at a much deeper level. If so, look to the lion tamers in your life, and regain your ego. Tear their throats out. You and you alone are the master of your domain.
PS I don't know why I went on with this whole Lion Tamer metaphor. I couldn't stop thinking of that old Monty Python skit. Totally wrecked the strength of the imagery in my mind.[/QUOTE]
Necronic, you sir are my personal fucking motivator. Courage Wolf ain't got SHIT on you.
Manly tears are being shed at the sheer awesomeness being expounded here.
C
Chibibar
@Necro: awesome post
@SJ: you can be friends with her but it is going to be harder on you since you have feelings for her. If you can push that aside and still be her friend, then it is cool. I have a couple friends that I would love to have dated, but I have move on and still friends with them. IT was hard at first, but it does get easier.
Now if you are hoping to get to the next step with her by being her friend after these events, I would say just be a friend but don't really pursue her. I would say don't wait on her either. I know it sounds cruel, but that might be best for you. Again, we are just internet folks, and ultimately it is up to you how you want to handle this.
I have a friend who is totally in love with a guy. She finally had to break up with him cause he was just "keeping her around" but never really put in serious commitment. (i.e. everything has higher priority than her) and she finally saw this and had to break it off. She still loves him but he doesn't feel the same way with her. It is a painful one for her and saddens me to see her get hurt like this
) but sometimes you gotta do something now or get more hurt later down the road.
I wish you luck man
@SJ: you can be friends with her but it is going to be harder on you since you have feelings for her. If you can push that aside and still be her friend, then it is cool. I have a couple friends that I would love to have dated, but I have move on and still friends with them. IT was hard at first, but it does get easier.
Now if you are hoping to get to the next step with her by being her friend after these events, I would say just be a friend but don't really pursue her. I would say don't wait on her either. I know it sounds cruel, but that might be best for you. Again, we are just internet folks, and ultimately it is up to you how you want to handle this.
I have a friend who is totally in love with a guy. She finally had to break up with him cause he was just "keeping her around" but never really put in serious commitment. (i.e. everything has higher priority than her) and she finally saw this and had to break it off. She still loves him but he doesn't feel the same way with her. It is a painful one for her and saddens me to see her get hurt like this
) but sometimes you gotta do something now or get more hurt later down the road.I wish you luck man
E
Element 117
C
Chazwozel
I love Chuck Palahniuk's views on the demasculinization of society. But he does consider people that take Fight Club to heart, to be complete idiots.
Just as long as you and 10 friends don't start beating the crap out of each other for sh!ts and giggles. Then forming a terror cell...
I'd consider your point, not taking the views on the demasculinization of society too far.
C
Chazwozel
Just as long as you and 10 friends don't start beating the crap out of each other for sh!ts and giggles. Then forming a terror cell...
I'd consider your point, not taking the views on the demasculinization of society too far.[/QUOTE]
Exactly what Palahniuk argues in regards to 'idiots'. But it is interesting to note how far demasculinization has come that men feel the need to emulate the experiences of the book/movie.
The demasculinzation I'm talking about is how you can't tell a girl she has a nice ass anymore without getting a lawsuit slapped on your own. The best examples of it are found in chick flick bullshit movies, where not only men are deballed, but overall relationships revolve around the needs of the woman instead of being a mutual union.
How is this de-masculinzation? Sounds like de-asshole-ing to me.
It is a double standard, yes. But it's both men and women's fault.
Cajungal
Staff member
Women have felt like they have to fight to express themselves sexually. We've been made the scapegoat when it comes to sin and STDs, so now that we feel sexually liberated, many express this by acting... well... like men, I suppose. Making more of our private thoughts known and possibly expressing some crude thoughts. It's not our fault that men react positively to it. 
For the record, if a guy's not comfortable being spoken to in a certain way, I think he has the right to say that without feeling like a wuss or being asked if he's gay.
For the record, if a guy's not comfortable being spoken to in a certain way, I think he has the right to say that without feeling like a wuss or being asked if he's gay.
ElJuski
Staff member
How is this de-masculinzation? Sounds like de-asshole-ing to me.[/QUOTE]
Agreed. Fight Club is pretty essential in that it brings *up* the question of masculinity in a unisex society, but it doesn't really offer so much of a solution. Tyler Durden, the primal id, is an asshole. Marla Singer doesn't offer much help either, although towards the end he is able to reconcile the fear and anger towards the female body.
Here's the heart of it all, the end of the book.
The book digs its teeth into a Gen X generation raised by single mothers and television sets. It's quite clear Palahniuk doesn't really have much of an answer of where that generation, and subsequent generations, are to go. But he DOES have a few ideas on what we SHOULDN'T do, which includes Tyler Durden's id machismo ass-slapping revolutionary.FightClub said:
There's a middle ground of existential acceptance. The total deconstruction of your life isn't going to find you salvation. BUT, understanding your place as a male in contemporary society can set you on the right track.
---------- Post added at 05:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:41 PM ----------
The deconstruction of these things are always soooo much more than a simple yes or no answer. Society is a complicated thing. And most of it stems from societal objectification. When a woman tells a man he has a nice ass, I bet you to the man that reinforces a dominant "hunter" trait in him that, when applied vice versa, could be much more likely to be considered offensive. If a woman doesn't find that offensive, awesome. If a man does, well shit, he should speak up, because that's not okay.
C
Chazwozel
How is this de-masculinzation? Sounds like de-asshole-ing to me.[/QUOTE]
Agreed. Fight Club is pretty essential in that it brings *up* the question of masculinity in a unisex society, but it doesn't really offer so much of a solution. Tyler Durden, the primal id, is an asshole. Marla Singer doesn't offer much help either, although towards the end he is able to reconcile the fear and anger towards the female body.
Here's the heart of it all, the end of the book.
The book digs its teeth into a Gen X generation raised by single mothers and television sets. It's quite clear Palahniuk doesn't really have much of an answer of where that generation, and subsequent generations, are to go. But he DOES have a few ideas on what we SHOULDN'T do, which includes Tyler Durden's id machismo ass-slapping revolutionary.FightClub said:
There's a middle ground of existential acceptance. The total deconstruction of your life isn't going to find you salvation. BUT, understanding your place as a male in contemporary society can set you on the right track.
---------- Post added at 05:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:41 PM ----------
The deconstruction of these things are always soooo much more than a simple yes or no answer. Society is a complicated thing. And most of it stems from societal objectification. When a woman tells a man he has a nice ass, I bet you to the man that reinforces a dominant "hunter" trait in him that, when applied vice versa, could be much more likely to be considered offensive. If a woman doesn't find that offensive, awesome. If a man does, well shit, he should speak up, because that's not okay.[/QUOTE]
"For both excessive and insufficient exercise destroy one's strength, and both eating and drinking too much or too little destroy health, whereas the right quantity produces, increases or preserves it. So it is the same with temperance, courage and the other virtues... This much then, is clear: in all our conduct it is the mean that is to be commended."
Aristotle
When this thread is retired, it had better go into the hall of fame.
E
Element 117
Isn't that where we sent your mom when she retired?
ElJuski
Staff member
There are only so many times I can show off my BA in Star Bucks Barista.
Ross
Staff member
Now the question is, is this eloquent drunken philosophy, or sober theatrical/literal rambling?
Either way, it is win.
There are only so many times I can show off my BA in Star Bucks Barista.[/QUOTE]
Damn dude, I mean, you start showing up on time and I'm gonna make you a Shift Lead.
ElJuski
Staff member
There are only so many times I can show off my BA in Star Bucks Barista.[/QUOTE]
Damn dude, I mean, you start showing up on time and I'm gonna make you a Shift Lead.[/QUOTE]
BABA BOOSH!
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