Men are predators. Predators hunt alone. It's not done by committee, its not done with secret agents, its not done with negotiators. The only time predators work together is to take down a herd. But they should be able to do it themselves. It's what seperates them from scavengers. Scavengers just go after the women that are left broken and limping after some predator had its way with her, then goes in for it's own piece.
What the fuck am I then, seeing I haven't done any of the things you say? A herbivore?[/QUOTE]
If you tell her all this stuff and are then shot down and you hang around as a friend, then you are a scavenger. You'll sit there waiting for her to end whatever relationship she is in and hope that she'll finally see you as the cool guy you are. It's a trap that too many men fall into these days, and trust me on this: women love it. They either love the ego boost they get from a guy that's always attracted to them, or they love the fact that they have a guy friend that is always bending over backwards for them, being basically the best friend that anyone could ever ask for. But at the end of the day they go to bed with someone else.
But right now you aren't a herbivore, you're a man who has lost his fangs. Without a sense of self-confidence and presence you won't meet many women that are worth your time. You need to get that back, and neither I nor anyone else can tell you how to do it. It's just part of being a man. I had someone take it from me (or convince me to give it up) a while ago, and it's been hard rebuilding it, but if you spend your life unsure whether you have anything worth offering a woman then you're also unsure if you have anything to offer the world at large. And that's a much more serious problem.
Society does a good job of making men circus lions, and we forget that the lion tamer with his little whip isn't a real threat. We all suffer from this, whether it's women or our job or our finances or whatever. We forget that we are the beginning and the end of our world, and we control our own destiny in a way that no one else ever can.
This isn't to say that you can ever remove fear. Fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, fear of rejection or reproach. That will always be there. But you have to learn to cope with it. The best description I have heard is that it is like a pebble in your shoe. It's there. It's irritating. But you just do your best to ignore it and you keep running.
So if nothing else, take this as an oppurtunity to look at yourself. Why do you lack your fangs? Are your confidence issues just with women or are they rooted at a much deeper level. If so, look to the lion tamers in your life, and regain your ego. Tear their throats out. You and you alone are the master of your domain.
PS I don't know why I went on with this whole Lion Tamer metaphor. I couldn't stop thinking of that old Monty Python skit. Totally wrecked the strength of the imagery in my mind.[/QUOTE]
This deserves the first rep I'll give on the forums... I wanted to rep all of you, advice givers, when this story is over but... wow. but, does the first part mean I can't try to be friends with her? Is friendship impossible if I have liked her and she has turned me down? I've tried it once before, but she moved and I never got over it, so I don't know if a friendship would have been possible...
Edit: Chibi's post, while shorter, is also nice.
but experience will teach you that in this day and age everything is pretty fast pace. You can't wait around for a girl for weeks or month. You either have to act on it, or lose it (as you have discover) I am sorry you miss the opportunity BUT there are other people out there. The world is a big place and I'm sure you'll find someone to be with 
