Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!

Depression is starting to hit me hard, lately. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to motivate myself to do the work. Even when I manage to actually sit down to read something, I find I can't concentrate and lose focus.

Worse, I've gained weight. I've gained about 25 pounds over the past few months, leaving me around 225 lbs. It's my own fucking fault, though, since I've been pigging out on junk food far too much (especially ice cream) and not exercising nearly as much as I used to. I've started hitting the gym again, but it's hard to stay motivated when I see the blubber when I look in the mirror, or have several button-up shirts that don't fit me anymore.

I'm seeing a counsellor and he's been pretty good so far. But he can't do my school work, which I feel like I'm falling more and more behind. For example, I did a test today in Educational Psychology. I stared at the goddamn questions for a good 10 minutes before even starting. Worse, the teacher actually had for one of the questions, "Using what we learned in Chapter 3..." Not "using this person's theory" or "going by this..." Just 'Chapter 3'. Who the fuck learns specifically what's in each chapter? I learn by this theory or that idea. I answered the question, but I still have no clue if it's right.

On top of all that, I'm just fucking lonely. Sure, I've met some people but I rarely see them. Got one guy friend that's been coming over on Saturdays for a Nerd Night (Doctor Who and watching some wrestling). But 95% of the time, I'm just on my own. There's fucking nowhere to go here (Presque Isle, Maine) and nothing to do. Additionally, I just feel trapped here. I don't have a car and the only person I know that goes to Halifax (where my folks are) leaves before my last class on Thursdays. Most of the time, I'm just sitting by myself in my apartment, wasting far too much time surfing the net because I can't get motivated to do anything else. My addition to the internet is equivilent to a couch potato watching TV. I'll spend hours visiting and revisiting the same sites over and over. I've even tried putting, say, an hour-a-day lock on Firefox using LeechBlock, but I get a moment of weakness and turn it off.
 
Depression is starting to hit me hard, lately. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to motivate myself to do the work. Even when I manage to actually sit down to read something, I find I can't concentrate and lose focus.

Worse, I've gained weight. I've gained about 25 pounds over the past few months, leaving me around 225 lbs. It's my own fucking fault, though, since I've been pigging out on junk food far too much (especially ice cream) and not exercising nearly as much as I used to. I've started hitting the gym again, but it's hard to stay motivated when I see the blubber when I look in the mirror, or have several button-up shirts that don't fit me anymore.

I'm seeing a counsellor and he's been pretty good so far. But he can't do my school work, which I feel like I'm falling more and more behind. For example, I did a test today in Educational Psychology. I stared at the goddamn questions for a good 10 minutes before even starting. Worse, the teacher actually had for one of the questions, "Using what we learned in Chapter 3..." Not "using this person's theory" or "going by this..." Just 'Chapter 3'. Who the fuck learns specifically what's in each chapter? I learn by this theory or that idea. I answered the question, but I still have no clue if it's right.

On top of all that, I'm just fucking lonely. Sure, I've met some people but I rarely see them. Got one guy friend that's been coming over on Saturdays for a Nerd Night (Doctor Who and watching some wrestling). But 95% of the time, I'm just on my own. There's fucking nowhere to go here (Presque Isle, Maine) and nothing to do. Additionally, I just feel trapped here. I don't have a car and the only person I know that goes to Halifax (where my folks are) leaves before my last class on Thursdays. Most of the time, I'm just sitting by myself in my apartment, wasting far too much time surfing the net because I can't get motivated to do anything else. My addition to the internet is equivilent to a couch potato watching TV. I'll spend hours visiting and revisiting the same sites over and over. I've even tried putting, say, an hour-a-day lock on Firefox using LeechBlock, but I get a moment of weakness and turn it off.
Buy a huge book. I mean, like a tome. Buy Crime & Punishment, or... Les Miserables. They take work to read so you'll probably find them very engaging/distracting. It works for me anyway, and they tend to inadvertently aid with my schoolwork (I find being well read improves my ability to write; and having recently read something interesting or complex makes my writing a touch better).
 
Since I have two novels I have to read for two different courses, I wouldn't have time to read something like that. I have books that I want to read, already.
Added at: 11:33
Besides, those giant classics? I've never been able to stay focused reading them.
 
Also why not have someone else set the password for your lockout program? That way you can't turn it off.

I don't really know. I'm not good at motivating myself, really. If I'm not being counted on/being paid, I tend to avoid things I don't want to do even for my own benefit. For example, right now I should be reading Chaucer, but I'm here. Loneliness blows, and becoming more social is a challenge. Do you drink? I find it's really easy to meet people once I have two pints in me at a bar. Surely there's a bar or two frequented by the students?

If not, cafés, perhaps? A different environment but still an eclectic crowd. At the very least, reading/studying at a café gets you out of the house so you're around people, not driving yourself mad in isolation. If you go out somewhere with only your school books, you're likely to work more, no?

If you choose to go mad in isolation, please grow a crazy unkempt beard and write cryptic things on the walls in your own blood. Wear underwear outside your pants.
 
M

makare

I was so sick last night. I think I am having an allergic reaction again but I have no idea what caused it. It doesn't seem to require my epipen so I am treating it with benadryl. I am seriously not a happy camper right now.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I had a power supply go out on me at some point late friday night... so the first few hours of my saturday morning was spent replacing the power supply with a spare I luckily had and hoping to god it was only the power supply and not the motherboard.
 
I hate school. I have always hated it, I will always hate it. I hate 'theoretical application'. I'm a hands-on guy, a practical, let's-just-fucking-do-it dude.

It took me a fucking month to finish this one assignment; it got to the point where tonight I just sent the damn thing away to the professor and said "Burn after reading".

And if that isn't bad enough, I'm starting to have those "Forgot to do homework and there's an exam today" dreams.
 
I still have those "It's finals time, and I haven't gone to class all semester" dreams, and I've been out of school for years now.
 
I still have those "It's finals time, and I haven't gone to class all semester" dreams, and I've been out of school for years now.
Interestingly enough, this was my college reality for a wile, and I have these kind of dreams about high school, where I excelled.
 
I have to go to my apartment complex office and ask for a new card key because I lost mine.

This will either be really easy and just be a small idiot fee, or this will be the worst thing ever and I'll end up having to pay WAYYYYY too much for what should be really simple.
 
She was probably the one who took it. You need the key cards to open the front gate to get out too. Even if an ambulance gets in it still won't get to the hospital in time.
 
She was probably the one who took it. You need the key cards to open the front gate to get out too. Even if an ambulance gets in it still won't get to the hospital in time.
Yeah, but you're safe from your neighbor. Your scary, scary neighbor.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I also STILL have "it's finals day and I haven't been in class all semester because I have been in the workforce all this time" dreams. For some reason, in the dream, I'm not able to make the mental connection between already having had a career and that meaning that the exam is meaningless.
 
My Rant:

My brother came to me with some news that I hate to hear. As some of you know, he got back together with his ex, that he dated for 8 years before seperating for almost a year. They got back together, and in a whirlwind, he moved back down here, moved in with her and got married. He's been pretty happy, far as I could tell, the entire time. He says he felt alot of regret for breaking up with the girl he considered his "on paper Dream Woman" but didn't regret his decision to be with his ex.

I liked both girls for him, they each offered him alot. His ex, while not having much in common with him, supported him emotionally ALOT. They raised kids together (his two from his first marriage and her son from her previous relationship). They were doing fine till she went fuck-nuts and left them for almost a year.

Then he dated "dream woman" about 6 months later. He would say she completed him in everyway yet he'd always tell me that he'd still think about his ex alot. I told him that it would go away with time and you can't get over a long term relationship over such a short period of time (I would know). Yet when the ex came back to her senses and said she wanted to work things out, he did what I wrote in the first paragraph.

So what's my rant? He came over yesterday, I was tired from work and the gym, ready to shower and just sit back on my PC and game my little brains out. He calls and comes over, telling me he was having some emotional issues (what else is new? j/k bro) He's now telling me that he wonders if he made the right decision. I'm at my wits end with him over this. In the long run I think he made a mistake. I think that the "Dream Woman" would have made him happier, they had alot in common and had a great time. I dunno what to tell him at this point other than not to live in the past? (I'm sure he's going to read this as he's always lurking here) Just enjoy the good life you have now and stop worrying about the grass/greener/etc.
 
Not that this information will save your life, but, you know. Random trivia.
The complexes down here use the "Click-To-Enter" system, which is coded to our radios. We have to key them in a certain pattern to get them to work, but if they're not set for a specific freq (or freqs), they won't open.
 
A quote, by me, via facebook concerning my last 45 minutes.

"Well. I think I have proven that wool socks on laminate flooring are a recipe for disaster. The fall was bad...but the popping my shoulder back into place? That was a special kind of 'OMG! WTF?!' moment"

Ow, by the way.

 

Zappit

Staff member
Three days of infusions starting tomorrow! Bleh! Gives me hiccups for some strange reason - even the doctor was perplexed - and it makes everything taste like metal and saline for half a week.
 
My local ABC affiliate is playing some sort of competitive sport (ie, the Lions are playing better football than they have in a few years) rather than Castle.

GIMME MY CASTLE.

It's just a show, but for no particular reason I was really looking forward to watching it tonight.
Check back ~1am or tomorrow morning at 9. The Pittsburgh ABC affiliate does this 2-3 times a year when the Steelers are on cable.
 
I got a speeding ticket :(

The ticket is for $128, going 44 in a 35. I was literally 10 feet away from the speed sign where it increases to 55. I was in the process of speeding up for the new speed limit.

I think he only pulled me over because I'm black.
 
You have to slow down before you cross a speed sign, and speed up after crossing a speed sign...

But I guess the kindly Officer just told you that.

Get a comedy club defensive driving course and clean up your driving record.
 
level 15
Goliath, Warden,
Paragon path: Storm Sentinel
Build: Earth Warden
Guardian Might: Earthstrength

FINAL ABILITY SCORES
Str 20, Con 24, Dex 11, Int 11, Wis 12, Cha 9.

AC: 33 Fort: 30 Reflex: 22 Will: 23
HP: 139 Surges: 16 Surge Value: 36

TRAINED SKILLS
Nature +15, Perception +13, Endurance +16, Athletics +16

FEATS
Level 1: Guard of Stone
Level 2: Markings of the Elements Legacy of War
Level 4: Earthstrength Resilience
Level 6: Elemental Boon
Level 8: Revitalizing Font of Life
Level 10: Weapon Expertise (Heavy Blade)
Level 11: Earthstrength Defenses
Level 12: Earth's Punishment
Level 14: Enhanced Font of Life

POWERS
Warden at-will 1: Strength of Stone
Warden at-will 1: Thorn Strike
Warden encounter 1: Roots of Stone
Warden daily 1: Form of Winter's Herald
Warden utility 2: Inspiring Fortitude
Warden encounter 3: Earthgrasp Strike
Warden daily 5: Boiling Cloud
Warden utility 6: Bear's Endurance
Warden encounter 7: Mountain Hammer
Warden daily 9: Form of the Oak Sentinel
Warden utility 10: Earthstride
Warden encounter 13: Stormhowler's Strike (replaces Roots of Stone)
Warden daily 15: Form of the Crushing Mountain (replaces Form of Winter's Herald)

ITEMS
Feyhide Armor of Resistance +4,
Guardian's Call Broadsword +3,
Bracers of Wound Closure (paragon tier),
Rapidstrike Bracers (paragon tier),
Fireburst Boots (paragon tier),
Antipathy Gloves (heroic tier),
Amulet of Scales +3,
Crown of Eyes (paragon tier),
Belt of Vigor (paragon tier),
Demonskin Tattoo (paragon tier),
Cognizance Ring (paragon tier), Foe Binder Ring (paragon tier)

This build is one the relies on your unique warden/goliath abilitites heavily, it doesn't deal great amounts of damage but that's not what you are supposed to do. This is built to absorb/deflect damage and make saving throws!

Now everything does damage and damage isn't that interesting or debilitating. Effects are though, if you are stunned, dazed or asleep, you're out of the game essentially until you save against those effects.

This is where the warden shines! Your Font of Life ability allows you to make a single saving throw before the start of your turn and even if you fail you still get to save normally at the end of your turn. (This includes Death Saves)

This is modified by:
FEAT: +1 to the Font of Life Saving throw
FEAT: +2 to FOLS vs all elements
FEAT: if you make your FoLSave, all saves you make regularly gain a +2
Item: +1 to charm, fear, illusion or pychic saves

Next up is your resilience, and the goliath racial power Stones Endurance
Normal = resist 10 to all damage UEONT
Feat: increase this to +17 resist all
Feat: increases the penalty to those you mark to an unavoidable -9, yeah -9!!!!
Plus a plethora of other resistances gained through objects

Finally, your second wind. Normally these are boring and only used when the cleric is dead, but yours is exciting!

Using your second wind;
grants you 34+2 HP
+9 to all defences EOYNT
resist 5 to all damage EOYNT
grants your allies 17 temp hp 1/day

And thrown in just for fun are multiple ways to teleport and a 1/day I'm not going to die card
:Leyla:
Thank you!
Isn't that way more items than you get at level 15? one item at level 14, one at 15, one at 16, and enough gold to buy one at level 15, and most of those are high-level items. Or are you just giving me recommendations on what to look into?
Also, no Toughness? Really?
 
So, there's this girl...

In my Children's Literature class, there's a girl that sits almost on the other side of the class. I've noticed her several times pretty much since day one. She's worn a couple of comic book shirts, like a black suit Spider-Man shirt. And she's got the absolute bluest of blue eyes I've ever seen. Just...damn. To say that I'm totally smitten by this girl would be an understatement.

The problem? Well, for one, I'm having a hard time finding a chance to approach her. The class work involves a lot of group work and it's just by sheer dumb luck that I never get into the same group with her. Our instructor usually does the "groups of 5, each of you count a number" kind of group work, so it rarely falls into my luck. The other problem is that she gets ready to leave about five minutes before class is even done, so she pretty much bolts out the door the moment the instructor lets us go.

So yeah, I'm totally smitten and can't seem to find a way to approach her. I don't live on campus (I think she does) and she's not in any other classes with me.

The funny thing is, since I've become more and more smitten by her, I've noticed we've been making eye contact an unordinarily frequent amount of times. Sort of reminds me of when me and my High School sweetheart kept looking back and forth at each other before we started dating. So my Nicktuition is telling me she's interested. Just can't seem to either figure a way to approach her or find the nerve or good ice breaker to start talking with her.

I suppose I could just go the classy way: drop trou and ask, "So, how about it?"
 
So, there's this girl... that sits almost on the other side of the class.
Unless you have assigned seats, which I highly doubt, go sit closer to where she normally does! I know that the thought of disrupting the delicate balance of routine and sense of possession of a seat may be a scary prospect, but dude, move your butt! You may even get her number.
 
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