VON GOOSEWING
Okay Igor, you were saying?
VON GOOSEWING
I was saying, Dr. Von Goosewing, that the master has gone mad. He's cast me out into the cold, cold snow and taken on a younger butler. And that's not all.
VON GOOSEWING
It's not?
IGOR
No. For some reason best known to himself, he has disguised himself as the penguin butler.
VON GOOSEWING
Ja?
IGOR
Ja. I mean, yes. And he has disguised the butler as himself.
VON GOOSEWING
But-but-but wait a moment, the butler *is* himself.
IGOR
No! The butler is now my master because my master is disguised as someone else. Because he is not himself.
VON GOOSEWING
Heinrich, bring me a headache pill.
IGOR
Dr. Von Goosewing, it is perfectly simple! One penguin is now Count Duckula while the other penguins are penguins, except for the one who's a duck!
VON GOOSEWING
Make that a dozen headache pills, Heinrich! Are you trying to tell me that there is more then one penguin?
IGOR
Oh, yes there is certainly more than one penguin, Dr. Von Goosewing.
VON GOOSEWING
How many more? Tell me.
IGOR
Nine.
VON GOOSEWING
If what you say is important, tell me how many more.
IGOR
Nine.
VON GOOSEWING
Rumplestiltskin! Tell me!
IGOR
Nine, nine, nine!
VON GOOSEWING
Ja, ja, ja! Tell me, tell me, TELL ME!
IGOR
I have told you how many.
VON GOOSEWING
Heinrich, just bring the bottle.
IGOR
Dr. Von Goosewing, are you quite yourself?
VON GOOSEWING
Well, I was when I left home. I just hope I'm not turning into a penguin!
IGOR
Make that *two* bottles, Heinrich, and be quick! Look, all you have to remember, Goosewing, is to miss the duck and zap the penguin.