[Important] North_Ranger's Wacky Tumor Thread

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Yeah but I don't really have any problems with pain. Often I am mildly uncomfortable because I have to move very slowly and carefully due to being a sizeable fellow with a line up my side, but there's not been many occasions when I've needed to pop pain killers.

And like I said, I have my qualms about getting high.
 
WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

If you have trouble with your appetite or nausea after chemo or radiation treatments smoking a little pot can help ease those side effects.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
WasabiPoptart said:
If you have trouble with your appetite or nausea after chemo or radiation treatments smoking a little pot can help ease those side effects.
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Vomit count so far: One, and that was at a hospital.

Appetite: Really not much of a problem, mostly it's the constant sense of fatigue and the fact that I need to hook up this piss bag somewhere while I cook. But once I get to cooking... well, let's put it this way: in a single day I once devoured about a kettle-ful of spaghetti carbonara.

Nonetheless, I'll be sure to remember those...
 
doomdragon6

doomdragon6

Staff member
One thing to remember though is that there's a bit of a stygma against people who smoke, even if it's for medicinal reasons.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
And as far as I know, the Finnish medical community does not recognize the medicinal use of marijuana.

What's more, if in the odd chance I do get caught with a bag of wacky tobacky and get convicted for possession --- that's the end of my career as a teacher. That's it. No do-overs. Game over, man, game over.

EDIT: Well, okay, I checked the legislation... Having a drug offence on your criminal record does not automatically disqualify you from seeking a teaching position, but it is something of a black mark on your record. Prospective teachers are demanded by law to present their up-to-date criminal records to employers before they are hired, and violent or drug-related crimes or being a sex offender are considered black marks. And frankly, I have met my share of principals, and none of them have struck me as the kind who would let a little toking go unpunished.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Addendum to previous: There may be pictures posted in the New Picture Thread once I get out all the ones where I look like a damn hobo :p Having to wear a kidney drain really cramps my style. Mainly because I have to rely on loose clothing and trousers that don't require a belt to stay up. Damn urologists slapped it so low I can't wear my trousers high enough to keep them from falling... not without suspenders anyway.

But that's a tale for another time.

Still, it's summer, and I'm loving the fact I can go out without having to worry about a jacket constantly pressing against my side, or catching a cold simply from going out. Also... all things considered, feeling pretty okay. Might hit the movies over the weekend. Maybe see The Avengers again; I've heard Men in Black 3 is crappy as hell...
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
God damn you, Murphy...

I have noticed that whenever I have a really good day, it's usually followed by a really crappy day. Especially if I dare say the words "Today's a good day".

Don't believe me? The day I went to see the Avengers, it was a bright, sunny day, and after seeing that awesome film I felt like doing a bit of a walk to the local comic book/gaming/general nerditry store. I was feeling great. The next day my kidney drain started acting up, and I had to spend the day indoors.

A few days ago I was feeling pretty good as well, and commented on that. The next day I suffered from the worst case of the runs I've had in years.

Yesterday I only thought to myself today's a good day. Aaaand today my kidney drain clogged up completely and I had to call my doctor to get it changed. Turns out the only available time before Midsummer is tomorrow... meaning I had to cancel our weekly game night with friends, one that I had spent all week preparing for.

God damn you, Murphy...
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Trust me when I say this, my friend: No matter what you are going through, it'll get better. I'm 100% serious when I say that at one point in my troubles of the last few months that the thought that the life insurance policy I have on myself would benefit my family greatly. Not saying I had a gun in my hand but there were times when I was driving that I very nearly made that swerve into a bridge or oncoming traffic. Really the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I might have hurt someone else in the process.

So when I tell you that right now I'm feeling wonderful and that I don't even recognize the depressed person I'd been, take it to heart that what you are going through is finite. You will get through it and be happy and healthy again. Right now you are suffering indignity upon indignity and it's just not fair!

But even though it sucks, look what you've gained. You've gained an understanding on how strong you can be in the face of adversity. You've learned which people in your life you can count on in a crisis. You've learned which "friends" were not truly there for you. You've learned that even a motley group of strangers on a website can band together and do something amazing - just because they care about you.

So yell that challenge out to the sky. Diarrhea? Bring it on! Cancer? Fuck you, cancer! Weaken me though it might I will prevail! I. AM. NORTH_RANGER!
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Enresshou , you mention sauna pants to me one more time and I will drain my piss bag into your beer :p Other than that, thanks ;)

Today's been... okay. I was told that I would be out after the operation, and the blood test values they took were pretty much the best they had been in months. The doctor put a somewhat thicker line in my side this time, hoping that it would not then clog so easily, and the nurse at the cancer ward reassured me that there's nothing to be worried about my situation. Usually the line has to be changed every three months, but there's a lot of individual variation; for some the drain works without a hitch for the three months with no effort at all, others can work their asses off to keep the line working and they still have to get it changed in less than half that time.

The only thing that really worries me is the chance of infection: my temp's just a tad higher than it usually is, and my side is somewhat aching, but I try to think positively and hope the ache is just the result of the doc poking the damn line up into my last functioning kidney :p It'd be a shame if something went wrong, especially since tomorrow's the day for the Medieval Market actors' annual picnic. And I have cake :D

Thanks for all the well-wishes, especially you, Dave . This is hard as hell but you're right, I keep trusting that there are better things to come in the horizon, and I've learned who are the people I can rely on when the shit hits the fan. As for surviving cancer...

I'm North_Ranger, third son of my family.
I've bested the university.
I am a Jaeger of the Satakunta Jaeger Brigade.
I've faced down classes of students, insufferable bureaucracy and idiotic principals.
I'm an actor, a lover, a joker and a fuckin' awesome person.
I'm the Dragon of the North, the creator of a thousand stories.
I will kick this cancer's ass.
I will live.
Deal with it, bitches.
 
Enresshou

Enresshou

But...this was the first time I got in on that joke...

But in all seriousness, glad to hear it man. As for cueing Eye of the Tiger:

 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Bad news: The drain is clogging up again, to the point where once we got it to work again it pretty much drizzled like hell for hours. Usual rate: a little less than a cupful per hour. Today: more than half a gallon in two hours. It seems I'm the unlucky sort for whom it starts clogging up in about a month (the maximum time the drain stays on without changing is three months). Called the doctor today; Ropecon - the biggest RPG, Larp and general geekery convention here in Finland - is in three weeks, and I wanted to make sure they can change the drain before that. Because brother, it won't last like this until then.

Good news: Doc called the Urology Ward. They're changing the drain Friday. So it should be a-okay for Ropecon. So barring any sudden infections, this guy's going :) Also, barring any sudden complications, I won't have to give a rain check for Sunday's game night :)
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Pretty okay, all in all. I have, unfortunately, gained some weight and my overall physique is still weakened due to much bedrest, but there's no daily pains, either mental or physical.

The one thing I try not to think about is the fact that I was pretty much told all they can do for now is give me chemo that will keep the cancer at a standstill. They cannot give me the truly curative treatment without knocking out my last kidney, and surgery isn't an option because of the small, inch-at-most tumors in my lungs. And they can't give me the uber-treatment that would knock the crap out of the cancer without putting a lot of my internal organs - especially the kidney - in jeopardy. It's no death sentence, of course. No need to start making my last will and testament... but it does remind me how serious my situation is.

Which is kinda weird, to be honest, considering how well I am feeling, both physically and mentally. So I'll keep living, and looking forward to the new day.
 
Timmus

Timmus

North_Ranger said:
Just something weird that happened today: I went to the Market rehearsals today and met this one guy with whom I've talked a few times over the years. The guy's a complete looney, but hey, he's in professional theatre so that's pretty much given. When I mentioned my current medical predicament to him, his response was condolences and "You know, I've got some weed. Which you are perfectly welcome to. You're entitled."

I have to say, I was tempted to accept his proposal, were it not for my personal zero tolerance policy in the past and the fact that I seriously don't want to know what kind of a fucktard I'd turn into when I'm high. I mean, I turn morose when I'm drunk. I shudder to think what I'd be like high.

Also the fact that my Mom comes over three times a day to rinse my kidney drain might have been a factor why I decided to decline for now :p
Click to expand...

Do it.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Fuck my life with a spoon.

For two months everything was okay. The drains got changed in a timely fashion, I suffered no sudden inflammations and I even got to go to the two events I wanted to go this summer.

Then boom, the day before yesterday. My drain was changed, but I had a slight temp so I went home with some oral antibiotics. That night my temp rose radically, and when I called the hospital, they told me to come back for IV antibiotics. So I've been stuck here since Saturday morning. And today's blood tests show no improvement, meaning I'll be stuck here for at least two more days. Possibly more.

What's the real cherry on top is that today I got told they need the one-person room for another patient, so I got moved to a two-person room. Not such a biggie... save for the fact that my new "roomie" is an older man whose far worse off than me, to the point where apparently due to operations he looks like Quasimodo's fugly brother. I shouldn't be this cruel, but goddammit, that certainly doesn't lighten my spirits.

*sighs*
 
ZenMonkey

ZenMonkey

Fuck the fugly sonofabitch, who gives a shit about what that asshole thinks, he's too ugly to live.

(Seriously, if that makes you feel better? WHO THE HELL CARES???)

*giant crazy monkey lady hugs*
 
Bones

Bones

zen, i like your outlook and candor, I am so glad you decided to come back.

and to NR, the bestest finnish mod we ever had, you do what you have to not to be swolled up by all this shit.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Had a talk with the doctor today. There's been some slight changes visible in the scan - none of them particularly good. There are new tiny tumors in my lungs and some of the old ones have grown. The big one is unchanged. The initial reports were far more drastic, but apparently the specialists had a look at the pictures and found that whoever wrote the report had been overly dramatic. The changes aren't good, there's no denying that, but nowhere near critical or threatening to the overall treatment.

For the foreseeable future the treatment is palliative, meaning that they can't cure the cancer but the treatment will focus on containing the growth of the tumors. The doctor pretty much told me that they will essentially aim to make life as normal as possible for me. They can't offer curative treatments without serious danger, so now this is just something I need to learn to live with. I'm strangely okay with that; the doctor didn't tell me to start writing my will or nothing, and I understood that the overall changes in the past year have been few. And if the current treatment doesn't work, there are still two or three others they can try.

That's pretty much it for the time being. I'll likely have this monkey on my back for the rest of my life, but considering that overall I am still quite well, that's not as dramatic or short as it might sound like. I'll just keep on living and hope for the best.

What is killing me, however, is that signature, Bones ... My eyes keep jumping up to Pinkie Pie :p
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
That's...just...


Fuck cancer, man. Just fuck it. If we spent as much time trying to cure shit instead of denigrating science and spending countless billions of dollars on campaigning for a $400,000 a year job, maybe the world would be a better place.
 
Neon Pirate

Neon Pirate

North_Ranger said:
Had a talk with the doctor today. There's been some slight changes visible in the scan - none of them particularly good. There are new tiny tumors in my lungs and some of the old ones have grown. The big one is unchanged. The initial reports were far more drastic, but apparently the specialists had a look at the pictures and found that whoever wrote the report had been overly dramatic. The changes aren't good, there's no denying that, but nowhere near critical or threatening to the overall treatment.

For the foreseeable future the treatment is palliative, meaning that they can't cure the cancer but the treatment will focus on containing the growth of the tumors. The doctor pretty much told me that they will essentially aim to make life as normal as possible for me. They can't offer curative treatments without serious danger, so now this is just something I need to learn to live with. I'm strangely okay with that; the doctor didn't tell me to start writing my will or nothing, and I understood that the overall changes in the past year have been few. And if the current treatment doesn't work, there are still two or three others they can try.

That's pretty much it for the time being. I'll likely have this monkey on my back for the rest of my life, but considering that overall I am still quite well, that's not as dramatic or short as it might sound like. I'll just keep on living and hope for the best.

What is killing me, however, is that signature, Bones ... My eyes keep jumping up to Pinkie Pie :p
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Ranger I love your attitude! You sir are impressive. Keep living well and I will keep hoping that they find a way to shrink then cure those damned tumors!

Dave said:
That's...just...


Fuck cancer, man. Just fuck it. If we spent as much time trying to cure shit instead of denigrating science and spending countless billions of dollars on campaigning for a $400,000 a year job, maybe the world would be a better place.
Click to expand...
Dave you nailed it, more priorities running too fast in way the wrong damned direction when we should be focused on making it a better, freer, smarter world and making the most of it.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
That time of the month again... the chemo goes in a four-week cycle, and once a month the marrow booster pains hit. GoddamnmotherfuckershitstormBarbraStreisand I hate this time of the month.

The bad news is that this is apparently my life for the time being: a cycle of treatments and monthly pains [insert jokes about menstrual cycle here].

The good news is... well, I'm learning to live with it. Spring is coming, and even though I've let myself go horrendously, I try to get out and about every day. Even if it's just to walk around the garbage bins and get back inside.
 
Just Me

Just Me

Keep strong and pull through! My grandma lived with breast cancer for 23 years, it was diagnosed in her late 60s! You are young and strong!
She was a great lady and always an optimistic and happy person, even when times were hard (born in 1930 she knew hard times). She laughed a lot, that's what everybody remembered about her.

I know it sounds lame and dull, but think positive. For you, your family, and all your friends!
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Hokay, it's been a while...

The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. I had to give this year's Market a pass... I made it okay during the first day, but because I had had treatment the day before the show began, the side-effects caught up with me the next day. Without going into too much detail, let's just say that for the next three days I had to deal with some serious shit almost every hour 24 hours a day - and I do mean that literally. But I had fun the first day, and got a lot of pictures from mom and dad. Some of which will be posted later this month once I trawl through them.

What also happened during these few weeks was that a small bump on my forehead - which the doctor thought to be nothing more than a slightly irritated sebaceous gland - suddenly started growing, until it was about 1/4 inch high and 3/4 inch wide, soft and sensitive. And goddammit, did the fucker bleed when I accidentally snagged it on something. They cut it out last week, leaving me with mummy-like head bandages for a few days.

Today, they removed the stitches. The doctor said the scar looks nice, and save for a little skimming of dead skin they will do next week - a 30-minute operation, no more than that - there were no other problems. All except the pathologist's report... Yeah. Not a sebaceous gland. It was a small tumor, metastasized on my skin.

F***.

That's the bad side. The good side is that apparently it was not too serious: the surgeon who operated on me had contacted my cancer ward, and apparently they thought the growth was cleanly removed, with no further need for operating. Apparently the small tumors I have in my lungs are more dangerous, and those have yet to cause me any trouble.

I might be in slight denial here... but I'd like to believe that was the end of that for now. One skin growth in two years... could be better, could be worse. At least it came off cleanly.

And if nothing else, I can now probably go to Ropecon in a suit and say I'm cosplaying young Gorbachev :p
 
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