[Thread Game] Corrupt a wish foundation

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Granted, but it only plays Nickelback songs. A lot of them, though.

I wish I could eat all I want without getting fat.
GRANTED! You become incredibly dense, pressure builds in your insides, and you are immolated as a result of the fusion.

I wish there was no Nickelback. :(
 
GRANTED! You become incredibly dense, pressure builds in your insides, and you are immolated as a result of the fusion.

I wish there was no Nickelback. :(
Granted! There is now only Celine Dion.

I wish for Gusto to get lucky tonight!
 
Granted, the word Irony has it's meaning changed so Isn't It Ironic is now about irony. Lots of other words also have their meanings changed according to misunderstandings. Inflammable things no longer burn.

I wish I was good at sports.
 
Granted, the word Irony has it's meaning changed so Isn't It Ironic is now about irony. Lots of other words also have their meanings changed according to misunderstandings. Inflammable things no longer burn.

I wish I was good at sports.
Granted, but your only good at EA sports. Also their the only thing you can play.

I wish for garlic chicken.
 
Granted, but not before you are turned into a vampire. The instant your tongue makes contact with the garlic, you burst into flame. As you are disintegrated, your last, dying thoughts are "it was a little on the dry side."

I wish for world peace.
 
Granted, but not before you are turned into a vampire. The instant your tongue makes contact with the garlic, you burst into flame. As you are disintegrated, your last, dying thoughts are "it was a little on the dry side."

I wish for world peace.
Granted! You are now holding in your arms a very surly and confused NBA player.

I wish for Dave Nihsen to sing the song that never ends.
 
Granted! It ends after 4 minutes. DID THAT BLOW YOUR MIND?!

I wish I had fire burps.
Granted! You now have the ability to belch flame after eating Trinidad Moruga Scorpion peppers. The downside, of course, is that you have to eat Trinidad Moruga Scorpion peppers, which, at 2 million on the Scoville Scale, are the hottest peppers currently known to man.

I wish I had a mutant healing factor.
 
Granted! You can now heal mutants!
. . . Hope that somehow comes in handy at some point . . .

I wish I could create a large portal to anywhere I want at will.
 
Granted! You can now heal mutants!
. . . Hope that somehow comes in handy at some point . . .

I wish I could create a large portal to anywhere I want at will.
Granted! However, any baked goods you may have been promised at the end will turn out to be untruths.

(Version 2: Granted! However, the portal passes through Hell, so you'll need to bring your shotgun every time you want to go through it)

I wish we were visited by peaceful, benevolent aliens.
 
Granted! However, any baked goods you may have been promised at the end will turn out to be untruths.

(Version 2: Granted! However, the portal passes through Hell, so you'll need to bring your shotgun every time you want to go through it)

I wish we were visited by peaceful, benevolent aliens.
Granted...in 1947 Roswell New Mexico! They did not survive the crash.

I wish they survived the crash!
 

Zappit

Staff member
Granted...in 1947 Roswell New Mexico! They did not survive the crash.

I wish they survived the crash!
Granted. They survive, but the experience of the military's treatment and the trauma change them from benevolent visitors to bitter, angry young aliens who leave Earth only to return with a war fleet that annihilates all life.

I wish I was telekinetic,
 
Granted. They survive, but the experience of the military's treatment and the trauma change them from benevolent visitors to bitter, angry young aliens who leave Earth only to return with a war fleet that annihilates all life.

I wish I was telekinetic,
Granted! Tactile telekinesis! THE DUMBEST TELEKINESIS OF ALL! Also you can only lift up to .0000000000000000000000000000000001 extra pounds so not that noticeable.

I wish I could eat anything.
 

Zappit

Staff member
Granted! Tactile telekinesis! THE DUMBEST TELEKINESIS OF ALL! Also you can only lift up to .0000000000000000000000000000000001 extra pounds so not that noticeable.

I wish I could eat anything.
Granted. However, you develop a taste for some pretty unspeakable stuff, and foods that once have you joy no longer hold the same kind of thrill...in fact, you find those tastes rather vile.

I wish that every time Sean Hannity speaks in front of a camera, flies come pouring out of his mouth.
 
Granted. However, you develop a taste for some pretty unspeakable stuff, and foods that once have you joy no longer hold the same kind of thrill...in fact, you find those tastes rather vile.

I wish that every time Sean Hannity speaks in front of a camera, flies come pouring out of his mouth.
Granted! The infinite flies are harvested as a source of protein, creating an eternal source of cheap food and ending world hunger. Unfortunately, the cheapness and prevalence of the Soylent Flies means that almost every food product on the market contains at least some of it. Which makes it impossible to avoid eating flies that have been in Sean Hannity's mouth.

I wish for a photographic / eidetic memory
 
Granted! The infinite flies are harvested as a source of protein, creating an eternal source of cheap food and ending world hunger. Unfortunately, the cheapness and prevalence of the Soylent Flies means that almost every food product on the market contains at least some of it. Which makes it impossible to avoid eating flies that have been in Sean Hannity's mouth.

I wish for a photographic / eidetic memory
Granted, however you get the "Task master" kind of photographic memory where every time you learn something new you forget something old. Possible bisexual daughter not included.

I wish for a missile launcher.
 
Granted, however you get the "Task master" kind of photographic memory where every time you learn something new you forget something old. Possible bisexual daughter not included.

I wish for a missile launcher.
Granted, you hear a helicopter on the horizon, then realize that Seal Team Six is coming to get it back.

I wish I was the most famous person in the world.
 
Granted, you hear a helicopter on the horizon, then realize that Seal Team Six is coming to get it back.

I wish I was the most famous person in the world.
Granted. You realize, however, that your network of friends is grossly inadequate as the global manhunt for your head proves to be trivial, and your body is dumped into the sea shortly after becoming famous.

I wish for a long and prosperous future for halforums and all its members.
 
Granted. You realize, however, that your network of friends is grossly inadequate as the global manhunt for your head proves to be trivial, and your body is dumped into the sea shortly after becoming famous.

I wish for a long and prosperous future for halforums and all its members.
Granted, but we all become so famous that we go in way over our heads and go on giant drug benders lose all our fame and die at the hands of a man named Tito in Bangkok.

I wish I had a magic tattoo.
 

Zappit

Staff member
Granted, but we all become so famous that we go in way over our heads and go on giant drug benders lose all our fame and die at the hands of a man named Tito in Bangkok.

I wish I had a magic tattoo.
Granted. Your tattoo sexually harasses women with crude comments, and nobody believes your tattoo talks, costing you jobs and friendships.

I wish I could control the weather.
 
Granted. Your tattoo sexually harasses women with crude comments, and nobody believes your tattoo talks, costing you jobs and friendships.

I wish I could control the weather.
Granted, however you can only control weather with-in one inch of you. And since clouds are like- WAY up in the sky you can't do much.

I wish I knew monkey kung-fu.
 
Granted, but we all become so famous that we go in way over our heads and go on giant drug benders lose all our fame and die at the hands of a man named Tito in Bangkok.

I wish I had a magic tattoo.
Granted, in fact, your whole body is an intricate pattern of magic tattoos. Then the Sartan ban you to the Labyrinth.

I wish I had the Millennium Falcon.
 
Granted, in fact, your whole body is an intricate pattern of magic tattoos. Then the Sartan ban you to the Labyrinth.

I wish I had the Millennium Falcon.
Granted, but your also the ships computer. THE MOST UNDERRATED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED STAR WARS CHARACTER EVER!

I wish I was an orc.
 

Zappit

Staff member
Granted. You're Horace from Dark Legacy Comics. Enjoy getting ganked every 30 seconds.

I wish the NHL lockout would end. NOW.
Granted, but all the players are locked into their European contracts, essentially turning the NHL into the AHL for the rest of the season. Then the officials get locked out.

I wish Michael Bay wasn't in charge of the Transformers movies anymore.
 
Granted, but all the players are locked into their European contracts, essentially turning the NHL into the AHL for the rest of the season. Then the officials get locked out.

I wish Michael Bay wasn't in charge of the Transformers movies anymore.
Granted. Now Uwe Boll is in charge.

I wish my chili would be done soon.
 
Granted your chili is done, but because you did not cook it low and slow, it tastes like carp.

I wish I was better at picking up chicks.
Granted, you are now a chicken farmer. BUT- if you were hoping for that literally, than everytime yo pick up a chick it turns to stone. Though your still good at picking them up though.

I wish I had a car again.
 

Zappit

Staff member
Granted, you are now a chicken farmer. BUT- if you were hoping for that literally, than everytime yo pick up a chick it turns to stone. Though your still good at picking them up though.

I wish I had a car again.
Granted. It's a Gremlin.

I wish that at least one of my webcomics would get a bigger devoted audience - a non-perverted audience.
 
Granted! Your comics get such a following that after your death a religion forms around them. Soon you are worshiped as a deity, and massive wars with millions of deaths are fought in your name.

I wish for an end to all wars forever.
 
Granted! Your comics get such a following that after your death a religion forms around them. Soon you are worshiped as a deity, and massive wars with millions of deaths are fought in your name.

I wish for an end to all wars forever.
GRANTED! All life ceases to exist.

I wish my leg would stop hurting.
 
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