Ask me anything. I will answer every question with two answers, one true and one false

[bhamv3]

Are you at all surprised I'm jumping on this grilled cheese bandwagon?

Answer 1:
Of course not. If there's one thing we band of goobers love to do, it's bandwagoning.

Answer 2:
There's a bandwagon? Why was I not informed?!?[DOUBLEPOST=1481870483,1481870053][/DOUBLEPOST]

Is your answer to this question false?

Answer 1: What?

Answer 2: Headexplosion.gif

Are you trying to weasel out of having to divulge personal information by dressing up your answers as jokes?

Answer 1: Not really. I'm just a jokey person in general.

Answer 2: Yes, because I know someone reading these boards will take my personal info and do bad stuff with it. Probably Shego. Who will probably come by in the middle of the night and relieve me of my internal organs. Which will then be sold.

Is there an animal more awesome than a doomweasel?

Answer 1: Of course not, the Doomweasel (Mustela doomus) is the finest of all animals. It stands proudly at the zenith of the pyramid of awesome animals, held aloft by lesser animals beneath its feet.

Answer 2: Yes, the DoomDragon. Actually, where is he these days?

Are you, or are you not, in fact, a pervert?

Answer 1: Nah, it's just an Internet persona I put on. I'm actually quite demure in real life.

Answer 2: Absolutely. I characterize it not as me being extra pervy, but as me being honest. Lots of guys think the things I say and do, it just so happens that I have the guts and social obliviousness to actually say and do them.

How's the baby making coming along?

Answer 1: Not well. We don't have much sex these days. Just look at the "I just had sex" thread for depressing evidence.

Answer 2: Fairly well, we've been having lots of practice with the baby-making procedures, running through simulations and drills and stuff. Pretty soon we'll be ready to try it for real.

Bad translations are fun and your job wouldn't be as nice if you couldn't occasionally chuckle at a co-workers Engrish, true or true?

Answer 1: Sure, I guess, as long as the bad translations are relatively infrequent, so that they remain an amusing diversion rather than a constant annoyance.

Answer 2: HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING! BAD TRANSLATIONS ARE LITERALLY HITLER! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL TO DEFEND THE HONOR OF GOOD TRANSLATIONS!

 

[Bubble181]

There's a bandwagon? Why was I not informed?!?[DOUBLEPOST=1481870483,1481870053][/DOUBLEPOST]

Come join us!

Answer 2: Yes, because I know someone reading these boards will take my personal info and do bad stuff with it. Probably Shego. Who will probably come by in the middle of the night and relieve me of my internal organs. Which will then be sold.

Yes. Keep looking at her and being diverted. Don't pay attention to the guy in the corner with a literal eating-prey-alive avatar. My plan is working as intended! MUHAHAHA!

Yes, the DoomDragon. Actually, where is he these days?

Good question.

 

[Celt Z]

Are you, or are you not, in fact, a pervert?

Answer 1: Bhamv was a perfectly normal and enjoyable person when we hung out in Taiwan. I highly recommend hanging out with him if you're ever in that part of the world.

Answer 2: It went like this:

Spoiler

 

[PatrThom]

Answer 1: Bhamv was a perfectly normal and enjoyable person when we hung out in Taiwan. I highly recommend hanging out with him if you're ever in that part of the world.

Answer 2: It went like this:

Spoiler

Answer 3:

Spoiler

--Patrick

 

[Celt Z]

Answer 3:

Spoiler

View attachment 22811

--Patrick

So THAT'S where those went. I was ready to blame the TSA.

 

[GasBandit]

 

[sixpackshaker]

Have you stopped beating your wife?

 

[Fun Size]

When you drop a deuce of extraordinary size/quality, do you excitedly tell people about it, or just want to excitedly tell people about it?

 

[bhamv3]

Have you stopped beating your wife?

Answer 1: Yes, but she hasn't stopped beating me.

Answer 2: No, but she's getting better at chess and I'm sure she'll start winning a few games against me in the near future.

When you drop a deuce of extraordinary size/quality, do you excitedly tell people about it, or just want to excitedly tell people about it?

Answer 1: I tell people, but only because I want to hear about their latrinal accomplishments as well. It's nice to feel like we're all achieving something, you know?

Answer 2: I tend not to tell people, at least not in person. Sometimes I'll post about it on Facebook though.