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Don't stick an eel in your friend's butt.

#1

Dave

Dave

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/03/man-dies-after-eel-is-ins_n_560842.html

A few dudes get drunk. 1 passes out. So his friends in their drunken stupor figure it would be a funny idea to insert an Asian swamp eel in the passed out guy's ass.

Here's a picture of an eel (not necessarily the actual eel in question):



But apparently eels eat small fish and have very sharp teeth....





He's dead now.


#2

Fun Size

Fun Size

Well yeah, you don't put the head end in. That's just stupid, plus it makes he pictures you post online indistinguishable from your standard scat stuff.

Amateurs.


#3

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Eel. Up the ass.

Thank you for that mental image, China.


#4

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

With friends like those, who needs enemas?


#5

Bowielee

Bowielee

With friends like those, who needs enemas?
.


#6



Joe Johnson

With friends like those, who needs enemas?
Wow, that's the most appropriate use of that pun I've ever seen!


#7

Hylian

Hylian

With friends like those, who needs enemas?

very nicely done :thumbsup:


#8

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

With friends like those, who needs enemas?
DAMNIT! Beat me to it. Ass.


#9

Math242

Math242

Darwin of the year. Unfortunately, the winner is still alive.


#10

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Darwin of the year. Unfortunately, the winner is still alive.
Not to nitpick, it was not his idea. His fault in the matter was being a pass out drunk at 59, and having dangerous friends.


#11

Troll

Troll

Darwin of the year. Unfortunately, the winner is still alive.
Not to nitpick, it was not his idea. His fault in the matter was being a pass out drunk at 59, and having dangerous friends.[/QUOTE]

Instead, the winner of said Darwin award would have to be the genius who thought putting a carnivorous eel in his friend's butt was a good idea.


#12

figmentPez

figmentPez

Instead, the winner of said Darwin award would have to be the genius who thought putting a carnivorous eel in his friend's butt was a good idea.
Do you and Math242 understand what a Darin Award is? They're only awarded to people who die (or loose the ability to breed) because of their own stupid choices. Darwin Awards aren't given to people who kill someone else.


#13

LittleSin

LittleSin

How'd they manage to do it? I mean, an eel is not exactly and easy creature to handle. What the fuck.

This may be inappropriate but...



#14

Troll

Troll

Instead, the winner of said Darwin award would have to be the genius who thought putting a carnivorous eel in his friend's butt was a good idea.
Do you and Math242 understand what a Darin Award is? They're only awarded to people who die (or loose the ability to breed) because of their own stupid choices. Darwin Awards aren't given to people who kill someone else.[/QUOTE]

Yes I do. Lighten up.


#15

Baerdog

Baerdog

But the friend wouldn't qualify because he isn't the one who died.


#16

Troll

Troll

...

Just... fuck. Whatever. I know that. I was saying that. Sorry it wasn't clear. All better now?


#17



Soliloquy

Does this even count as a prank? it's more like... malicious assault.



#18

drawn_inward

drawn_inward

I don't care how drunk I am, I have never thought about putting anything anywhere near anyone's ass. What kind of excuse is getting drunk? Seriously. Are any of you completely out of control when you're drunk? I tend to not filter what I say. I lose depth-perception. I laugh a lot, but I have never done or seen anything like that. That's just fucked up.


#19

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Reminds me of this Chappelle joke:



#20

Bowielee

Bowielee

I'm going to hell...



#21



Philosopher B.

Forget eels, you should't stick anything up another man's butt.

I mean, unless he wants you to.


#22

klew

klew

Seeing the various comedic opportunities:


#23



Philosopher B.

Oh stars, I love that song.


#24

Bowielee

Bowielee

Oh, Duh, even more appropriate than the What What song...



#25



makare

What happened to the poor eel?


Poor poor eel :(


#26

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

What happened to the poor eel?


Poor poor eel :(
He died with a shitty outlook...


#27

Cajungal

Cajungal

Reminds me of this Chappelle joke:

That's the first thing I thought of! Why the hell do people do that to their friends?!


#28



Wasabi Poptart


Armageddon!


#29

IronBrig4

IronBrig4

Just last month another Chinese man tried to commit suicide by sticking a cucumber up his butt. Perhaps there's a new trend among Chinese men now? This bears further research. To the lab!


#30

TommiR

TommiR

Just last month another Chinese man tried to commit suicide by sticking a cucumber up his butt. Perhaps there's a new trend among Chinese men now? This bears further research. To the lab!
Please do not insert objects into the anuses of your test subjects. Because that would just be wrong. There are things Man was not meant to know.


#31

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Just last month another Chinese man tried to commit suicide by sticking a cucumber up his butt. Perhaps there's a new trend among Chinese men now? This bears further research. To the lab!
Please do not insert objects into the anuses of your test subjects. Because that would just be wrong. There are things Man was not meant to know.[/QUOTE]

Plus the Swedish Institute for Science will come and kill you.


#32

GasBandit

GasBandit

I sincerely recommend that none of you click the following anus-eel related link.

Seriously... I'm warning you...
Don't do it....
Fine, here it is. Last chance to walk away.


#33



LordRavage

I guessing it would be fine to stick an eel in your enemy's butt. No?

Also GB, bravo on that link. Your skills at displaying links to ugly reality do indeed impress. ;)


#34

Fun Size

Fun Size

While I again safely skipped the link, the file name brought me a smile.


#35

LittleSin

LittleSin

DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK.

EDIT: Jesus fucking Christ, Bandit!


#36

Dave

Dave

He TOLD YOU!!


#37

Fun Size

Fun Size

I love the internet so much.

"Whatever you do, DO NOT CLICK THE LINK."

"AAAGH! IT BURNS US! WHY DID YOU THAT?"


#38

LittleSin

LittleSin

I know!

I actually clicked on it a bit ago...and a threw up. My husband was AMAZED.


#39

Dave

Dave

The name of the file is EELBUTT! What did you THINK it was going to be?


#40

LittleSin

LittleSin

I don't know. I DON'T KNOW.


#41

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Did it make you eel?


#42

LittleSin

LittleSin

Not as badly as that just did.


#43

GasBandit

GasBandit

DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK.

EDIT: Jesus fucking Christ, Bandit!
I warned you. Three times. You had to click FOUR TIMES to get past that. I told you not to. And I told you. And I told you again.

Your anguish is therefore deserved. And delicious.


#44



Philosopher B.

What I want to know is where one fucking finds a thing like that. Wait, on second thought, don't tell me. :confused:


#45



makare

Damn it Gas! When I placed the moratorium on ass eels I meant for ANYWHERE I might go. That included the forum. You are in violation of the moratorium sir and you shall be sanctioned!


#46



Matt²

at least it wasn't cucumbers... actually, I want to see that. I want to see cucumbers flying rapid fire out of that ass, like the watermelons from the hippo!


#47

Baerdog

Baerdog

It wasn't that bad...


#48

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

It wasn't that bad...
Well, let me see...


#49



Matt²

I've seen things man,... I've seen things.



#50

GasBandit

GasBandit

What I want to know is where one fucking finds a thing like that. Wait, on second thought, don't tell me. :confused:
All kinds of places. Mostly 4gifs (formerly jj.am), 4chan, and some darker, stickier places on the internet. But those first 2 will cover you for most things.

Damn it Gas! When I placed the moratorium on ass eels I meant for ANYWHERE I might go. That included the forum. You are in violation of the moratorium sir and you shall be sanctioned!
Denied. And you better not be lecturing me especially if you ALSO clicked past the 4 layers of "stop!"


#51



makare

Damn it Gas! When I placed the moratorium on ass eels I meant for ANYWHERE I might go. That included the forum. You are in violation of the moratorium sir and you shall be sanctioned!
Denied. And you better not be lecturing me especially if you ALSO clicked past the 4 layers of "stop!"
Pfft the moratorium implicitly includes any links or spoiler tags. You are in trig bubble mister!


#52

GasBandit

GasBandit

Damn it Gas! When I placed the moratorium on ass eels I meant for ANYWHERE I might go. That included the forum. You are in violation of the moratorium sir and you shall be sanctioned!
Denied. And you better not be lecturing me especially if you ALSO clicked past the 4 layers of "stop!"
Pfft the moratorium implicitly includes any links or spoiler tags. You are in trig bubble mister![/QUOTE]

Then I shall go forth and Opposite/Hypotenuse no more?


#53

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

...

Wait, that was it?

Okay, it was above the average "Eww" level but still...

If anything, I'm actually worried why you would go out of your way finding things like that in the first place.


#54

Baerdog

Baerdog

North Ranger gets me.

Buddy, we should sauna.


#55



makare

Take a goat with you >.>


#56

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

You bring the beer, mate.

---------- Post added at 01:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:54 AM ----------

Take a goat with you >.>
Only if it's barbecued and served with a side of new potatoes, bearnaise and steamed vegetables.


#57

Baerdog

Baerdog

A few of these should do nicely.



#58



makare

You bring the beer, mate.

---------- Post added at 01:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:54 AM ----------

Take a goat with you >.>
Only if it's barbecued and served with a side of new potatoes, bearnaise and steamed vegetables.
:( mean


#59

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Just kidding, makare. The goat can stand in the yard and chew a can.


#60



makare

that's better. that is baer's special companion goat. you can't barbecue it.


#61

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

:wtf:


#62

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Can we still barbecue Spider-Pig and Señor Gonzalez, GasBandit's cow sidekick?


#63



makare

yep. you can barbecue the actual GasBandit if you want.


#64

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Eugh... No thanks. You know where he's been wallowing.


#65

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Pfft, that butteels gif was nothing. Total fail.

They didn't get a single one into that cup.


#66



Matt²

Pfft, that butteels gif was nothing. Total fail.

They didn't get a single one into that cup.
...20 eels 1 cup?


#67

Cajungal

Cajungal

I made a bad decision. :(


#68

Dave

Dave

I made a bad decision. :(
Why? How many eels are in your butt?


#69

Cajungal

Cajungal

I made a bad decision. :(
Why? How many eels are in your butt?[/QUOTE]

Aw MAN, Dave.


#70

Fun Size

Fun Size

Dude, you never ask a lady how many eels are in her butt. When the time is right, she will let you know.


#71

Dave

Dave

Dude, you never ask a lady how many eels are in her butt. When the time is right, she will let you know.
I didn't. I asked CG.





Oh SNAP!


#72

Cajungal

Cajungal

:facepalm:

---------- Post added at 08:57 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:56 AM ----------

:)heh:)


#73

Math242

Math242

bwahaha


#74



Chazwozel

I don't care how drunk I am, I have never thought about putting anything anywhere near anyone's ass. What kind of excuse is getting drunk? Seriously. Are any of you completely out of control when you're drunk? I tend to not filter what I say. I lose depth-perception. I laugh a lot, but I have never done or seen anything like that. That's just fucked up.
This. 100x this.

I know dudes who, as soon as they get to slurring their speech, start pulling down their pants and look for the first set of eyes to teabag or various other lude acts to other males. I don't get how rubbing your nutsack on another dude's chin is fun?!?!? Can we say repressed homosexual feelings?


#75

Fun Size

Fun Size

Can we say repressed homosexual feelings?
I'm pretty sure that once your junk hits another guys face, we're pretty well past that whole "repressed" thing.


#76

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Hell, back in the day...

The pass out drunks normally got written on with sharpies or beer spilled on their crotch. Never anything that overboard.


I guess his friends thought they were in Led Zeppelin, and he was a groupie.


#77

Bubble181

Bubble181

So wrong... And GB's link was as N_R described it, above average eww but well below the really gruesome stuff I've seen on this here nets...


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