^You said it. In my experience, people are willing to be "forgiving" if there's more to what you're saying than just "let me shock and/or disgust you."
And even then there needs to be wiggle room. Louis CK has a great bit about an attractive couple where he says, "I want to see what their kid looks like. Who knows, maybe I wanna fuck their kid too." And when the audience groans, he says, "That's just me saying something awful because I know how you'll react" <--or something similar. Then he says something worse and laughs this playful, evil laugh. It's a great bit. For me personally, it reminded me of my dad and brother, who say things just to get a rise out of me. It makes me love them more, but it also drives me crazy sometimes. It's just plain fun and powerful to know you can push people's buttons. Sometimes that's the joke. "Listen to how horrible this is... can you imagine if people were really like this? Oh, they are sometimes? Well, if you don't laugh you'll cry..."
Comedy, art, film, music... we have to be willing to let these people have some freedom or else we're going to be a sad, boring bunch of people. If you don't like it, don't buy it or walk out of the theatre. That's your right.