GasBandit
Staff member
I just had sex thread
- Thread starter Mathias
- Start date
The extra kids are back with their grandparents now
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My wife really likes a guy who'll spend an hour making risotto.
GasBandit
Staff member
Well kick him out, you should be making risotto for your wife!My wife really likes a guy who'll spend an hour making risotto.
Ohhhhhh waiiiiit I get it
If she could find another guy who'd make risotto from scratch, he's more than welcome at our tableWell kick him out, you should be making risotto for your wife!
Ohhhhhh waiiiiit I get it
That's hilarious because when I saw that it was you who updated, I thought to myself, that was some fine looking risotto.My wife really likes a guy who'll spend an hour making risotto.
I don't remember the name of the medication, but one of Kati's exes complained that whatever it was he was taking would allow him to get to the point where he should, but he couldn't, and would just keep him there for an hour or more, unable to move past that point. He described this as "quite frustrating."
--Patrick
I don't want to know any details about what my wife did or didn't do before I showed up. Isn't there a Seinfeld episode where Kramer talks about faking it?
I wouldn't know, I've never watched Seinfeld.
Why should I worry about the past? It's in the past, nothing I can do about it (even if it does nag me from time to time). Also, there's never a time in my head where I'm measuring myself against some past performer. Why would I? Even if she were to go on about how FormerGuy#6 or whatever were the best she'd ever had and she had the video evidence to prove it*, she's chosen to be with me now and that's enough confirmation that I must be sufficiently preferable to FG#6 in some way, so where's the impetus for me to feel inadequate?
...and now that she's up I asked her, and she thinks it was Wellbutrin. Increases your sex drive, but then won't let you finish.
--Patrick
*Just examples, neither of these are actually true.
All I'm saying is that her pregame better be STRONG.
She dressed up in something that got me so worked up, I threw her to the bed.
We tried a few new things. For her, I think we lost count around 15 (within an hour). Me, just once, but it was the kind that leaves you comatose.
Hands down, the absolute best sex I've ever had in my entire life. This needs something more epic than "Hail the conquering hero." MUCH more epic. Like, metal hair band from the 90s doing Beethoven epic.
We tried a few new things. For her, I think we lost count around 15 (within an hour). Me, just once, but it was the kind that leaves you comatose.
Hands down, the absolute best sex I've ever had in my entire life. This needs something more epic than "Hail the conquering hero." MUCH more epic. Like, metal hair band from the 90s doing Beethoven epic.
Actually, a little more like this:
(She wanted me to post this as tribute to last night, but I went with Ode to Joy.)
gooble gobble?
GasBandit
Staff member
I wnet to the bar tonight and picked up a reasonably attractive girl. Cabbed us to her place, and had the worst, halfhearted sex I've ever had in my life. I couldn't even stick around, and I'm sure she didn't want me to. So, now I am home. Feeling wretched and drunk.
Her sheets smelled really good. I should have asked her what kind of detergent she uses.
Her sheets smelled really good. I should have asked her what kind of detergent she uses.
I've tried a one night stand twice in my life, stuck wit hthe first one for three years and I'm still dating the second one. Can't do it.
Don't feel bad about yourself, though - if it's in any way helpful in dealing with the breakup and she at least enjoyed it somewhat too, it's not a bad thing to do.
Don't feel bad about yourself, though - if it's in any way helpful in dealing with the breakup and she at least enjoyed it somewhat too, it's not a bad thing to do.
Oh my goodness, you guys. Teach me this power, I will totally have all the one-night stands you don't enjoy.
I don't think my skillset applies here.
Tell them you investigate murders. It worked for me. Seriously though, I could have told her I was wanted for murder and she probably would have gone home with me. She was there for one reason.
I feel like lying about ... nah, I could probably do that.
But, you're probably right - just have to find someone who's there for that specific purpose.