I just had to send a super difficult message to someone. We had been friends for a really long time and after an incident last year I came to realize that she hadn't been a very good friend. After that, on many occasions I brought things to her attention and she ignored me or didn't understand. She sent me an unkind message yesterday when I didn't respond right away to something on Facebook and asked me what was up. I was polite and tried to explain but it breaks my heart.
Cajungal
Staff member
Yep. I still generally like it, but dealing with the university is messing with my sanity. The people can be frustrating as well. Also I'd really like to live somewhere else for a while, see some new sights, see what other places are like. Can't do any of that until jake finished school.
fade
Staff member
There's just nothing to do there unless you have family. It's also too big to be country and too small to be city so that it's one giant suburb. Even if you go outside the city everything is privately owned so you can't really go anywhere. On top of that the university itself was odd. It was underbudgeted and falling literally apart. Have you been in Madison hall? That's where my office was. It's a dump. Literally 80% of the state uni budget goes to LSU. The rest of us had to divvy up the rest. I loved being a professor and I miss it every day. But I don't miss Lafayette or UL.
Cajungal
Staff member
Yep. One big development that I like is the new park on Johnston. There's been a lot of progress; looks like it will never be a wal mart. I'm just happy I can easily drive to NOLA or even just Lake Martin if I need a quick change of scenery. I've spent a lot of time at the tree sanctuary/rookery.
It's frustrating to see this article my friends and neighbors are passing around on Facebook about Lafayette being voted one of the best cities in the country. There are many things I still love about it, but most of these people have never been anywhere else. And I get to listen to them crap on these places they've never been.
It's frustrating to see this article my friends and neighbors are passing around on Facebook about Lafayette being voted one of the best cities in the country. There are many things I still love about it, but most of these people have never been anywhere else. And I get to listen to them crap on these places they've never been.
Cajungal
Staff member
^A note on that last thing. Our honeymoon in California was wonderful, partly because our road trip took us through many different towns. Wherever we landed, we met friendly people. When we returned, I had to tell so many people that, no, I didn't miss southern hospitality, that people were kind and fun to be around.
That sounds like my hometown. Most of them haven't been to the northern part of the state unless they were forced to go (and it's not like NJ is big). It's part of the reason why I will never live there again.
Nope not everyone is like that, however, where I grew up "Proud to be a Piney, from my head down to my hiney" was not just a bumper sticker, but a way of life....we're not all like that.
Oh,THAT part of Jersey. Yeah, they can go. Let Delaware annex them or something.
Dave
Staff member
Adventures in renting:
Last Friday Omaha had some strong storms. Like several inches in a couple hours. Streets were flooded, a couple people died by being stupid and trying to drive through it. It was a mess. Speaking of a mess, it started leaking in our basement. It's done it before so this time we were ready. We'd already moved anything remotely able to be destroyed and had lined the floor with towels. See, our porch is shaped like this: \____/\____/ Maybe not that drastic, but my keyboard won't do curves. In any event, it dips in two places and water collects there and can't drain out. Put enough in and it has to go somewhere...which is our basement.
So we called the landlord and told him about it. At the same time we told him about our water pressure, which had been slowly dwindling until in the last week it became impossible to do things like laundry, dishes, or showering. Yes, I've smelled the last few days.
Maintenance man came out Monday to work on the porch and the "Bob the plumber" was also going to be there, so I stayed home from work. maintenance man was there early and got his stuff done. Well, what he could. He shored it up the best he could, but the landlord refuses to spend money he doesn't have to so instead of making sure the porch has drainage, he waterproofed it better. It will probably be a temp solution, but it's not my house so if that's what he wants to do more power to him.
Bob the plumber, though, had not shown up by 3:30, and that's after calling at 10:40 and saying he'd be there in about an hour. So I called him. Oh yeah, he'll be there soon. Typical Monday and all that. Meanwhile in all that my wife and I had to go pick up a new bed that we purchased, had to break down our old bed, and take our old bed to Sammi's apartment - which is on the third floor. So while I was getting the U-Haul, Bob the plumber shows up. He is there a grand total of 6 minutes and knows the problem is a defective pressure regulator. But it's too late to get the part that night so he'd be back the next day. Well fuck. So I had to work from home a second day, which is kinda frowned upon. Luckily, my boss was out yesterday, so nobody gave a shit.
In the meantime, I have taken apart two queen-sized beds, loaded them into a U-Haul and carried one of them up three flights of stairs. And I still couldn't take a fucking shower.
So I'm sitting at home yesterday waiting for the plumber and he still hasn't shown up by 3. So my wife (who used this excuse to stay home) called the landlord, who was PISSED the plumber hadn't been there yet. Couple minutes later and the phone rings. The plumber would be there within the hour. 4:15 he finally shows. He worked on it until 8 at night and it finally got fixed. Got a load of laundry done so we had clean underwear and took a shower that was straight from heaven.
So why is all of this in minor rant instead of the regular rant thread? I'm clean, my underwear is also clean, and we didn't have to pay for it because we rent.
Last Friday Omaha had some strong storms. Like several inches in a couple hours. Streets were flooded, a couple people died by being stupid and trying to drive through it. It was a mess. Speaking of a mess, it started leaking in our basement. It's done it before so this time we were ready. We'd already moved anything remotely able to be destroyed and had lined the floor with towels. See, our porch is shaped like this: \____/\____/ Maybe not that drastic, but my keyboard won't do curves. In any event, it dips in two places and water collects there and can't drain out. Put enough in and it has to go somewhere...which is our basement.
So we called the landlord and told him about it. At the same time we told him about our water pressure, which had been slowly dwindling until in the last week it became impossible to do things like laundry, dishes, or showering. Yes, I've smelled the last few days.
Maintenance man came out Monday to work on the porch and the "Bob the plumber" was also going to be there, so I stayed home from work. maintenance man was there early and got his stuff done. Well, what he could. He shored it up the best he could, but the landlord refuses to spend money he doesn't have to so instead of making sure the porch has drainage, he waterproofed it better. It will probably be a temp solution, but it's not my house so if that's what he wants to do more power to him.
Bob the plumber, though, had not shown up by 3:30, and that's after calling at 10:40 and saying he'd be there in about an hour. So I called him. Oh yeah, he'll be there soon. Typical Monday and all that. Meanwhile in all that my wife and I had to go pick up a new bed that we purchased, had to break down our old bed, and take our old bed to Sammi's apartment - which is on the third floor. So while I was getting the U-Haul, Bob the plumber shows up. He is there a grand total of 6 minutes and knows the problem is a defective pressure regulator. But it's too late to get the part that night so he'd be back the next day. Well fuck. So I had to work from home a second day, which is kinda frowned upon. Luckily, my boss was out yesterday, so nobody gave a shit.
In the meantime, I have taken apart two queen-sized beds, loaded them into a U-Haul and carried one of them up three flights of stairs. And I still couldn't take a fucking shower.
So I'm sitting at home yesterday waiting for the plumber and he still hasn't shown up by 3. So my wife (who used this excuse to stay home) called the landlord, who was PISSED the plumber hadn't been there yet. Couple minutes later and the phone rings. The plumber would be there within the hour. 4:15 he finally shows. He worked on it until 8 at night and it finally got fixed. Got a load of laundry done so we had clean underwear and took a shower that was straight from heaven.
So why is all of this in minor rant instead of the regular rant thread? I'm clean, my underwear is also clean, and we didn't have to pay for it because we rent.
Dave
Staff member
He can be good and he could be bad. I don't expect to see my deposit when we move as he is known for finding things to not have to pay anything back. And a couple years ago there was an issue with the water pipes coming in that he blamed on us and threatened to evict. So he's not all fluffy bunnies, but I think he's learned that we take care of the place and if you know how people treat rental properties, you know how rare that can be.
I know this isn't the point of your story, but it leapt out at me as I was reading. Why couldn't you shower at your daughter's apartment?
Dave
Staff member
Because they were coming on Monday so why bother? It was only a day or so. And then Tuesday...
Besides, Sammi's shower is made for tiny, tiny people. She's short enough to fit under it, but it literally hits my shoulder (I looked at it when she moved in) and i'm only 5'9"!
GasBandit
Staff member
Hah, that reminds me of the showers in the men's dorm at the baptist camp where my family reunion takes place every year. They come up to my shoulder (I'm 5'10") and I literally can't raise my arms to wash my torso in them because there's not enough room for my elbows to stick out.
That is like the time I had an apartment with my brother. We rent the place, move in then notice that the shower head is lower than our armpits.
His 4'11" girl friend walks in and said that she saw nothing wrong with the shower.
His 4'11" girl friend walks in and said that she saw nothing wrong with the shower.
Cajungal
Staff member
I never saw this! He has about a year left plus an internship. That, paired with the knowledge that we have no idea where we'll end up... makes it hard to wait sometimes. He's really open to living in a lot of different places. That's what makes me feel better; I know we both have the same goals. We both want to see more of the country and live in more places--find somewhere that feels just right. I'd love to not almost get heat stroke every August, so there's something to keep in mind. What also makes it easier is that I have a really great job, and my extremely talented superiors' letters of recommendation will probably help me out a lot if/when we move and I have to seek employment elsewhere.
Do you have someone (in addition to Blue) that can give you a hand? Two kids, especially when one's a newborn, can be over-whelming even when you didn't go through what you body just went through.
Tie a rope to it and give him back his anchor already.
My parents are around on the weekends but I don't really have a lot of friends that are able to help.
The worst part is Blue is back to work now and he has to be gone over night tomorrow because the other guy at his work is sick.
So it'll be me with two kids all day..and Jet is slowly growing, um, jealous...I think. Because he has been a real jerk today.I'm sorry, LittleSin. I remember how tough postpartum can be on you; emotionally, physically, etc. I wish I could offer help aside from a virtual shoulder. I don't know how I would have made it through the first week or so without help that came from friends and family. You have us to vent to anytime, if it helps.My parents are around on the weekends but I don't really have a lot of friends that are able to help.
The worst part is Blue is back to work now and he has to be gone over night tomorrow because the other guy at his work is sick.
Like...I can call people when ever Iwant and I'm sure if I got really out of sprts my parents would come running...but I hate asking. I hate talking and letting people I see day to day KNOW that I'm not okay. Not because I don't understand the need for support.
I just can't stomach their advice sometimes...or their criticism. I know they meanwell but being told to 'eat healthier' or 'just relax' doesn't help.
How does one 'just relax'? Is there a switch for that?
As much as I dislike lying to people, particularly family, would it be better if you asked for help under the premise of not having enough sleep or not having a routine in place yet since it is a new experience to have two little people to take care of? Or would that bring about too much well-meaning, but asshhole-ish, advice?
Awww, thank you.
Probably the latter.
I love myparents but I have a unique situation. Dad never RELLY had to raise us until mom passed away, you know? He was there to read stories at night before bed or do fun tihngs on the week end but mom did EVERYTHING else. So...his advice is...eh?
My step mom, Il ove her dearly, but we were the only kids she ever had...and we were 16 and 13 when she came into the family. So her advice is...more akin to dog training in a way.
My inlaws are lovely people but both are diabled in someway. They take Jet for a ngiht on the weekend which is a blessing but anything else is asking too much.
I'm sorry, @LittleSin. I wish I had more to offer here. Please know you are not alone though. I went through PPD when I had my son. His pediatrician recognized it, but my ob/gyn just owned it all up to stress of new motherhood and an upcoming deployment. My family was all in NJ and we were living in CA. I had no friends there. My in-laws...well, I couldn't depend on my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law had a baby of her own.
You are not alone, LS. I know it's not like having someone right there, but if you need anyone to talk to or bitch at or whatever, you and I are friends on FB. The kids and I rarely spend the whole day out, so even if I am not there immediately I will be soon enough.
I'd lend you my mom, but I think you might want to feed her to Cthulhu after a day.
You are not alone, LS. I know it's not like having someone right there, but if you need anyone to talk to or bitch at or whatever, you and I are friends on FB. The kids and I rarely spend the whole day out, so even if I am not there immediately I will be soon enough.
I'd lend you my mom, but I think you might want to feed her to Cthulhu after a day.
Mercy kill.