[Rant] Minor Rant III: For a Few Hollers More

Because some faculty members have the IQ of a lobotomized sea cucumber?
She sent out an article that was supposed to help us with the assignment. She took pictures of the pages with her cell phone...and not very good ones. It's practically unreadable. So...I think the sea cucumber might have her beat in common sense at least.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Attention dumbass advertising agency.

YOU making ME generate a NOTARIZED TRANSCRIPT of a commercial YOU produced and emailed to ME makes YOU functionally RETARDED.

Please go stick your dick in a pencil sharpener.
 
This guy does not speak for us. He's neither lobotomized, nor a sea cucumber. The Queen has offended us, this is a national offense and will require more than a mere written apology.
You will receive no more and are in no position to make demands. Slither back to your squishy lairs or face the awesome force of these fully armed and operational doomweasels.
 
You will receive no more and are in no position to make demands. Slither back to your squishy lairs or face the awesome force of these fully armed and operational doomweasels.
I dare your Weasels to come and assault my domain. They'll be hard-pressed to pose a threat at 50 fathoms. We can be your greatest ally, or your most obnoxious foe. We do not just slither, we burrow, we dig, we can do many things of which you seem ignorant.
 
Y'know, for a lobotomized sea cucumber, this lobotomized sea cucumber is surprisingly eloquent.
The lobotomy has allowed a neural bridge to form between my independent nerve systems, thus multiplying my intelligence. I have taken control of my brethren, and now lead our quest to fund a Kickstarter allowing for the development of sea cucumber-operable operating equipment to free them, allowing us to take back the sea from our arch enemies and oppressors, the cephalopods.
 
Under a blizzard warning, and it just started pouring rain, roads are going to be AWESOME later. Time to hibernate.
The rain has yet to turn to snow, which means ice. So much ice. Also, my weather forecast has been changed but is still being called a blizzard. (lol)



To be fair, I think Denver got snowed on.
 
Well, I didn't actually get anything but rain and wind. The mountains have been getting snow pretty steadily for the last few weeks. Denver and south is what got all the snow last night.
 
But Gas, that's how things get done. All you need to do is have a few more meetings. See, what happens is that first you need a meeting to discuss the topic or topics that need to be discussed in your upcoming meeting. Then you can have a meeting to discuss who should be invited to the meeting discussing the topics brought up in the previous meeting. And then, because some of the people who are going to be invited hadn't been at the first meeting, you need to hold that original topic setting meeting again, in case the new attendees have something to contribute (because why else would you invite them, right?). Then, because the topics have changed, you need to re-evaluate who should be invited to the meeting to discuss the topics that you've discussed discussing. Only when you are absolutely certain that you have everyone that you need and all of the topics are laid out, you need to have a meeting to lay out the specific agenda for the upcoming meeting, as well as to schedule when that meeting will be held.

Now, it's only natural for a few topics to have been left off the agenda, because they weren't deemed important enough to take time discussing with everyone that's going to be attending, or because some attendees couldn't attend at the given time and date; so you'll need to reschedule a meeting to put together an agenda for the topics that were left off the original agenda, and have the requisite meetings to discuss who to invite to that meeting, and when to schedule it. By this time, hopefully, you've had the meeting to discuss the original agenda. If so, you probably spent more time talking to the attendees of the meeting about why you were having this meeting, and didn't really discuss everything that you needed to discuss during the meeting. One great strategy for how to deal with this is to add all of the people that were going to be coming to the second meeting to a follow-up meeting for the first meeting, so you can just get everything back on one agenda. However, you also need to remember that none of the people that were going to be at the second agenda meeting were at the first agenda meeting, so you'll need to make sure you go back over the presentation about why you've called a meeting to discuss the items on the agenda. Then, once all of that is done, you can have a meeting to discuss the agenda. Finally, when the last group meeting is done, each individual department involved in the meetings should go off and have their own meetings to decide what to actually do.

Along the way, you should be sure to yell, scream, throw things, break furniture, slam doors, and demean all of your employees for not getting stuff done, because that's what you're having all of these meetings about, god damn it!
Self fulfilling fucking prophecy - I now have an 8:15, an 8:30, and a 1:30 meeting every day to discuss exactly the same thing, with exactly the same people, to supplement the 3 meetings I had last week, each of which lasted 2.5 hours, to tell upper management what we need to pay, to whom, at what time, on which day, so that we can run the shop. After which, if the pattern remains the same (which I'm sure it will), everyone will agree to the appropriate course of action, and then we'll walk out of the meeting and upper management will do something completely different and then blame purchasing and scheduling for not having material and production to keep the shop open.
 
Self fulfilling fucking prophecy - I now have an 8:15, an 8:30, and a 1:30 meeting every day to discuss exactly the same thing, with exactly the same people, to supplement the 3 meetings I had last week, each of which lasted 2.5 hours, to tell upper management what we need to pay, to whom, at what time, on which day, so that we can run the shop. After which, if the pattern remains the same (which I'm sure it will), everyone will agree to the appropriate course of action, and then we'll walk out of the meeting and upper management will do something completely different and then blame purchasing and scheduling for not having material and production to keep the shop open.
There's some old truism that goes something like "you don't want to see how they prepare your food".

I've worked for some really big companies that looked so shiny and professional on the outside, but was just dumbfounded on how fucked operations were on the inside. It made me wonder how they ever had any success at all.
 
There's some old truism that goes something like "you don't want to see how they prepare your food".

I've worked for some really big companies that looked so shiny and professional on the outside, but was just dumbfounded on how fucked operations were on the inside. It made me wonder how they ever had any success at all.
This is what I say that about the company I work for: "[insert company name here] succeeds in spite of itself."
 
I dare your Weasels to come and assault my domain. They'll be hard-pressed to pose a threat at 50 fathoms. We can be your greatest ally, or your most obnoxious foe. We do not just slither, we burrow, we dig, we can do many things of which you seem ignorant.
The Mustelidae kingdom unilaterally rejects your echinodermian rhetoric. You do not have the spine to back up your threats; your dreams of grandeur are frankly pathetic and your modes of defense are vomitous. I have giant sea otters. We will bury you.
 
You do not have the spine
Easy racism! A spine only serves to lock you in place and make you too rigid to cope with all stresses of life.
Your "giant" sea otters will not help you. Certainly, some of us will fall, but we are legion. There are enough of us to bury every sea otter you want under ten times his weight and drag them down to the depths, where their corpses will serve as food in due time.

You may feel superior, but your arrogance will be your undoing. You know not all holothuroidea have been classified...Or even found :devil:
 
Easy racism! A spine only serves to lock you in place and make you too rigid to cope with all stresses of life.
Your "giant" sea otters will not help you. Certainly, some of us will fall, but we are legion. There are enough of us to bury every sea otter you want under ten times his weight and drag them down to the depths, where their corpses will serve as food in due time.

You may feel superior, but your arrogance will be your undoing. You know not all holothuroidea have been classified...Or even found :devil:
says the echinoderm whoses greatest threat is humans, you guys make good eating...
 
I said something unflattering to a coworker of mine tonight, which was outrageously funny for everyone, but now I wish I hadn't.
This marks the second instance in a week's time I've probably hurt a coworker's feelings with any kind of intent, which is pretty much unheard of.
I hope it doesn't lead to unpleasantries.

--Patrick
 
I said something unflattering to a coworker of mine tonight, which was outrageously funny for everyone, but now I wish I hadn't.
This marks the second instance in a week's time I've probably hurt a coworker's feelings with any kind of intent, which is pretty much unheard of.
I hope it doesn't lead to unpleasantries.

--Patrick
At the risk of reminding him/her of something unpleasant, you can just bring it up to them in private, indicate you didn't mean it to be hurtful and if it did, apologize. I never dared to do that, but learning it has really helped me - you'd be surprised how often the response is "oh, but I wasn't hurt" or "I knew it was a joke, no worries". The few times the answer is more like "well, it still wasn't very nice" or "I still felt like a fool though" or whatever, I still think asking about it later helps clear the air, and perhaps it can be a learning experience, if you're someone like me who doesn't always get why or how people get upset :p
 
Just found out yesterday that a friend's husband was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. Today they got worse news. It's stage 4 which has spread to his bone marrow and possibly his liver. The prognosis does not sound good based on the tentative treatment plan.

Fuck you, cancer. Fuck you.
 
So... uh... this is going to sound rather juvenile after a cancer rant, but here goes.

I mentioned in another thread that a female friend of mine started working here, then left after one week. During this week I mentally noted (but did not say out loud) that she apparently has lost some weight, and is looking very trim and fit these days. Probably has something to do with her impending wedding next year. Anyway, she left the company.

Also last week, I happened to run into another female colleague from my company, someone from our sales department. We were in a train station, I was visiting a nearby shop with my wife, while my colleague was there to pick up her boyfriend. I noted that she was quite dolled up for the occasion. My guess was that they're in a long-distance relationship, and that she wanted to look her best when he arrived. So we exchanged brief pleasantries, and then went our separate ways, and then a couple of days later it's announced that she, too, has left the company.

Last Friday, I noticed that a third female colleague, a resource manager, was dressed in a rather flattering skirt, one that showed off her legs very nicely. Today, Monday, the company announced that she's left.

Finally, last month, a relative newcomer at our company came to me to ask a question about the translation software. I helped her out, she thanked me with a smile, and I noticed (but did not say out loud) that she has a really cute smile. A couple of days later, she left the company.

Maybe this is cognitive bias, maybe not. But right now it looks like "bhamv finds you attractive" is a death-knell for any female who wants to work here.
 
Maybe they're all dressing up for interviews they have scheduled elsewhere and you should get while the getting is good.

--Patrick
 
When I was leaving my CA firm job I deliberately would change off site for interviews. No one wore suits in the office. So if I showed up to the office in a suit when not scheduled at a client, I would have been asked straight up by a partner what was up.
 
When I was leaving my CA firm job I deliberately would change off site for interviews. No one wore suits in the office. So if I showed up to the office in a suit when not scheduled at a client, I would have been asked straight up by a partner what was up.
Same. Most places I've worked have been polos and jeans kinds of places, which means when I had to go to an interview after work, I'd have to bring a suit and change in the bathroom in the lobby of whatever building the job was in...or at a fast food joint if they owned the whole building. Blah, the things we do for money.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
WHY does the APOSTROPHE never WORK ANYMORE?

In the description field of an image I upload to imgur, in a youtube comment, all kinds of places online these days, any time I hit apostrophe, when I submit it turns into '. I know what that is, it's the unicode bullshit for an apostrophe when something's going into a database where the apostrophe has to be sanitized out or it will break the table. But apparently these days web and app coders can't be bothered to fucking get it to display right coming out. Just lazy, sloppy bullshit and I'm tired of seeing it everywhere.
 
Leaving for airport in 5 and a half hours and I'm still awake. Had to run to store to get something inane and also get gas. Bought a coloring book for myself for the plane while I was out. ADULTING!
 
WHY does the APOSTROPHE never WORK ANYMORE?

In the description field of an image I upload to imgur, in a youtube comment, all kinds of places online these days, any time I hit apostrophe, when I submit it turns into '. I know what that is, it's the unicode bullshit for an apostrophe when something's going into a database where the apostrophe has to be sanitized out or it will break the table. But apparently these days web and app coders can't be bothered to fucking get it to display right coming out. Just lazy, sloppy bullshit and I'm tired of seeing it everywhere.
It's sloppy programming. You can get apostrophes into database tables. You don't have to replace them with this. ' is not unicode, it's URLencode. It's a way to get HTML to show a quote character. Chances are, the conversion to ' is happening at the form submission level before it gets to the database layer of code, and then not getting re-converted back to a quote.

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/6603928/should-i-url-encode-post-data
 
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