Pet Peeve rants.

Uh, we had a massive mainframe outage at work this week. I was calling users and fixing their printer set ups (not my job.) I call a user and while I was speaking with her another Tech called her. I asked her if she called in more than one ticket on this issue. She did, she called in 4 damn tickets. So she is going to waste the time of at least another two Techs.
 
"things you never noticed" style web lists.

Look, I'm only human, I will occasionally click such links. I'm curious to know what those "45 details you never noticed about Harry Potter" or whatever are.
But then at least make them make sense! The amount of times these are just "a bunch of badly thought out nitpicks that don't hold up is your think about them for 5 seconds" is beyond counting.
 
You do X.

Then some one else says "You can't do X!"

Look I just did X, so clearly I CAN!

Say shouldn't, please don't, it's illegal, all fine, just don't tell me I cannot do something I just friggin did!
 

figmentPez

Staff member
No, news outlets, the monolith found in the Utah desert is not "right out of a scene from '2001: A Space Odyssey' " because the 2001 monolith is black and rectangular, while the one found in Utah is a triangular prism and is shiny metal.

Also, that torn up car does not look like Wolverine keyed it. Wolverine has three, tightly spaced, very sharp claws. That car has four, widely spaced, tears in it. Sabertooth trying to frame Wolverine, maybe, though it'd have to be a very large version of Sabertooth.

Stop getting your nerd shit so egregiously wrong!
 
Zombies, they are slower than us, limited intelligence, unable to build structures, operate vehicles and firearms, can not communicate quickly over large distances. Ain't nobody better at killing humans than other humans, so why are things that are like 12% as capable as humans scary?

OMG Zombies!

OMG A-10 Warthog!
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Zombies, they are slower than us, limited intelligence, unable to build structures, operate vehicles and firearms, can not communicate quickly over large distances. Ain't nobody better at killing humans than other humans, so why are things that are like 12% as capable as humans scary?
Because usually, in situations where they are presented, they outnumber humans 10-to-1, every human that dies becomes a zombie, and because of the mass death and disorder, society has collapsed, meaning there's nobody left to fuel, maintain, or possibly even fly those A-10s.

It's not rocket surgery, man.

There are exceptions, of course. The zombie outbreak in Shawn of the Dead lasted all of 48 hours before the army came in and put it down, and any remaining zombies were put to work in the service industry where they couldn't do any worse of a job than the humans previously staffing those positions.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
Because usually, in situations where they are presented, they outnumber humans 10-to-1, every human that dies becomes a zombie, and because of the mass death and disorder, society has collapsed, meaning there's nobody left to fuel, maintain, or possibly even fly those A-10s.
Don't forget that zombies don't die as easily as humans do. Shoot the average human in a limb and they're significantly less of a threat; shoot them in the chest and they're usually as good as dead. Depending on the zombie mythos, even a small caliber round to the brain isn't enough. "Ain't nobody better at killing humans than other humans," doesn't mean much when zombies aren't human. Zombies are a honey badger version of humans. Grenade shrapnel? Zombie don't care. Buckshot to the chest? Zombie don't care.
 

Dave

Staff member
Cyberpunk 2077 releases tonight at 6 pm CT. Yet on Twitch there are a bunch of big streamers already streaming it. Fuck that. Seriously. Why do they get to play the game early and now even if I stream it there's no incentive for anyone to watch me as the big streamers will be further along.

Fucking ridiculous.
 
I mean, people are going to drift towards big streamers over small streamers for popular games regardless. Large streamers get early access to try to drum up hype for last minute pre-orders/release day buys.
 

Dave

Staff member
I mean, people are going to drift towards big streamers over small streamers for popular games regardless. Large streamers get early access to try to drum up hype for last minute pre-orders/release day buys.
I know why. I also know it's bullshit.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
I hate restaurant websites that try to make you start an order before you can see the menu. No, I don't want to tell you what time I'm going to pick it up, because I'm not going to be ordering, I just need to know what you offer!
 

Dave

Staff member
Sometimes I want to call in an order somewhere, but have dietary needs. So I want to see what they have so I can decide where to order from. So I'm right there with ya.
 
Ridiculous - and useless - limits for "security" reasons.

Both banks I work with have an app available. And both apps limit the amount of money you can transfer far more strictly than through the website - because an app is more vulnerable, if your phone's stolen.
Ok, that's all very well and good.
They also both demand I use 2FA with my phone to log on to the web site.
And they also both allow their website to be accessed through a browser on a phone.

In other words, I can do any transfer I want just fine with just my phone (and my fingerprint), by using the desktop site through my mobile Chrome. There is absolutely ZERO extra security added by imposing an extra stringent limit o nthe app in comparison to the website.
In fact, since logging into the app requires a 6-digit PIN, and the authenticator only requires a 5-digit PIN, I'm actually SAFER with the app than with the website.

ARGH. THINK.
 
Ridiculous - and useless - limits for "security" reasons.

Both banks I work with have an app available. And both apps limit the amount of money you can transfer far more strictly than through the website - because an app is more vulnerable, if your phone's stolen.
Ok, that's all very well and good.
They also both demand I use 2FA with my phone to log on to the web site.
And they also both allow their website to be accessed through a browser on a phone.

In other words, I can do any transfer I want just fine with just my phone (and my fingerprint), by using the desktop site through my mobile Chrome. There is absolutely ZERO extra security added by imposing an extra stringent limit o nthe app in comparison to the website.
In fact, since logging into the app requires a 6-digit PIN, and the authenticator only requires a 5-digit PIN, I'm actually SAFER with the app than with the website.

ARGH. THINK.
*laughs in evil banker*
 

figmentPez

Staff member
"Blue raspberry makes no sense, raspberries aren't blue!"

Raspberries can turn blue under alkaline conditions. Put fresh raspberries in muffins with enough baking soda and they'll turn blue as they bake. It's because the red color in raspberries come from anthocyanins, which are also found in red cabbage and allow the classic science demonstration of using red cabbage juice as a pH indicator.

I'd wager that whoever decided that blue raspberry should be a thing had enough baking and or chemistry knowledge to know that bit of trivia, too.
 
whoever decided that blue raspberry should be a thing had enough baking and or chemistry knowledge to know that bit of trivia
Either that, or the drink or whatever they liked blending them into just happened to be something alkaline enough to "magically" turn them blue.

--Patrick
 
"Blue raspberry makes no sense, raspberries aren't blue!"

Raspberries can turn blue under alkaline conditions. Put fresh raspberries in muffins with enough baking soda and they'll turn blue as they bake. It's because the red color in raspberries come from anthocyanins, which are also found in red cabbage and allow the classic science demonstration of using red cabbage juice as a pH indicator.

I'd wager that whoever decided that blue raspberry should be a thing had enough baking and or chemistry knowledge to know that bit of trivia, too.
It looks like it might have more to do with branding and a fear of a particular red food dye

But neat nonetheless.
 
It kinda chaps my ass that in modern media reading a map is only viewed as competant for actors portraying the military.
 
Dear customers,

When calling in for customer service DON'T EAT WHILE TALKING WITH AN AGENT.

Just had a customer eating chips and constantly talking with their mouth full the whole time. Just "munch munch munch, crunch crunch crunch" the whole time.

Piss off with that.
 
Why is it always the 'Proud Christian' friends who try to scam you with MLMs?
You decided to be part of their circle of your own free will, so they assume you must be driven by the same “belong/beholden to The Group” urge that they feel, and are trying to leverage it to their advantage.

—Patrick
 
Stupîdly-partitioned guides/tutorials.

So there's this thing I have to learn at work. It's not incredibly hard or anything, just a bit out of my wheelhouse. There's a bunch of tutorials for it! Basic and Advanced! It'll be useful and sensible!

1. How to create a log-in on our website. Yes, I have one of those, thank you.
2. How to get credentials to get started. You click on "get credentials", fill in your address. Sure.
3. How to read this proprietary file format in a software bundle designed for another type of file (which isn't on our software repository), create full Json requests, send them to the test servers, confirm the request are valid, how to handle PUT, POST, and GET requests, the agreed-upon standard file structure, where and how to alter these files manually for specific shipping requirements, how to set defaults to our company standard, the 12 example types of requests you can create, why and when to use which one.
4. How to decode 64bit encrypted image files. Download the decoder.exe file, run, copy-paste the date from one field to another, press go. That's the literal complete tutorial video.

That's the four basic videos. Now, I probably could've done without 3 out of those 4, and mmmmaybe would've appreciated going a bit slower on the remaining one. You may be an expert on what you're explaining, but even you should realize one of these steps is not like the others. How the heck am I supposed to just "know" my address to fill in and where to click on "ok", huh?!
 
Stupîdly-partitioned guides/tutorials.

So there's this thing I have to learn at work. It's not incredibly hard or anything, just a bit out of my wheelhouse. There's a bunch of tutorials for it! Basic and Advanced! It'll be useful and sensible!

1. How to create a log-in on our website. Yes, I have one of those, thank you.
2. How to get credentials to get started. You click on "get credentials", fill in your address. Sure.
3. How to read this proprietary file format in a software bundle designed for another type of file (which isn't on our software repository), create full Json requests, send them to the test servers, confirm the request are valid, how to handle PUT, POST, and GET requests, the agreed-upon standard file structure, where and how to alter these files manually for specific shipping requirements, how to set defaults to our company standard, the 12 example types of requests you can create, why and when to use which one.
4. How to decode 64bit encrypted image files. Download the decoder.exe file, run, copy-paste the date from one field to another, press go. That's the literal complete tutorial video.

That's the four basic videos. Now, I probably could've done without 3 out of those 4, and mmmmaybe would've appreciated going a bit slower on the remaining one. You may be an expert on what you're explaining, but even you should realize one of these steps is not like the others. How the heck am I supposed to just "know" my address to fill in and where to click on "ok", huh?!
Trial & error?
 
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