So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (11/07/2009 GF's BDAY Edition)

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AshburnerX

AshburnerX

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:
That's just it Vy, I'm usually \"cold\" to anyone in my life if it requires it. My past 2 GFs I left them with little issue. Anytime I'm reminded by them, I'm more greatful than anything. At first, I always said that if a better financial situation came around, I'd leave my current GF without batting an eyelash twice. Recently however, I'm actually highly concerned and torn about doing it, even if a better opportunity presented itself.

The problem here is, I have no idea WHY I feel this way about this woman. We have nothing in common (other than over-active sex drives), we never talk about anything of substance beyond \"how was your day?\", and I usually prefer when she's not home and I've got the place to myself. Yet still, the thought of NOT being with her is beginning to get harder and harder as time goes on. Still, I find myself constantly wanting to have \"more\" from someonelse.
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(I'll spare you the movie-musical version, so instead here is some Nat King Cole!)



But in all seriousness, it's because you've spent a good part of your life with her. It's always going to feel odd to leave someone you've spent so long with, but if you want to find something more, you ether need to get her to give you more or find someone who will. Those are really your only choices right now, short of staying unfulfilled for the rest of your life.
 
strawman

strawman

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

When the time comes, shego, you know what you must do.



-Adam
 
Jay

Jay

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

That picture is hilarious.

The problem here is, I have no idea WHY I feel this way about this woman. We have nothing in common (other than over-active sex drives), we never talk about anything of substance beyond "how was your day?", and I usually prefer when she's not home and I've got the place to myself. Yet still, the thought of NOT being with her is beginning to get harder and harder as time goes on. Still, I find myself constantly wanting to have "more" from someonelse.
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Have you ever dropped the notion of a threesome to her Shegs? Maybe she'd be interested. It can be a very exhilarating experience if you haven't, you can really see if for you it's more than lust.. and I wouldn't mind being the meat in that sandwich.

/insert male comment (j/k)

Have a fun vacation!!!
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

SeriousJay said:
Have you ever dropped the notion of a threesome to her Shegs? Maybe she'd be interested. It can be a very exhilarating experience if you haven't, you can really see if for you it's more than lust.. and I wouldn't mind being the meat in that sandwich.
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I'm pretty sure this is something they do fairly often, or at least have done more than once in the past.
 
Math242

Math242

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

jeez, Ash, have some control, i can hear the faps from 6000 km away
 
Vytamindi

Vytamindi

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Well said, AmE.

Have fun on your trip! With your work schedule, you deserve a break! <3
 
ScytheRexx

ScytheRexx

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Everything I can say has already been said. I agree with AmE 100%.
 
Shegokigo

Shegokigo

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Alright, as I said in a previous thread: I'm home and things are taking a turn. She wanted to end the relationship when I got back and I found myself fighting to keep it going. In the end we found out the issue she was having and have resolved to work on it and have been fine since.

Fast Forward to today/last night. I had a vivid dream (I don't often dream) where I confessed every single thing I wanted to tell her. She listened and told me that she really did love me for everything I said and wished I had said it all sooner and we might not have wasted so much time. We flew off to another country and just lived life day to day and happier than I ever thought happiness could feel like.

Sounds great right? One problem. "Her" in this dream isn't my GF. It's the girl that I talked about a few months ago. The "one I let get away/pushed away/chose my GF over for the security". :Leyla:

"I drove 4hrs to where she's currently living, to find out that she's single now. I confess all my feelings that I ever had, apologizing if I was "coming out of nowhere" and blinding her with all this heavy emotion without ever having said anything in the past few years. She replies that I should have said something years ago, because she's always felt the same way about me. We have the most powerfully emotional embrace I've ever felt in my life. I've never felt that way ever. Immediately we have the most emotional love making session I've ever felt in my life. (Now I've had amazing sex before, but this was something compeltely different, it "felt" like something that eveloped my entire being on every level, not just physical) Soon after we looked at each other and I said that the hardest part was to come. Which was to tell my current GF what was going to happen now. "She" actually agreed to go with me and do the confrontation together. After telling my GF, who took it hard but said she had known all along that we should have been together, "she" and I leave all our current responsibilities behind and travel overseas. There, we begin a life that has none of my previous "escape" vices and just living with each other in pure bliss day to day"

What the fuck? I hadn't thought of her in a damn long time, here I was thinking all is right now with my GF. We're finally on the track to finding real emotions and feelings for each other and I get side-swiped by this remurgence of "her"? This is bullshit. I left this morning in the worst possible mood, and now I'm in shitsville here at work. Completely blind-sided and lost as to what to do. :eek:rly:
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

You are scared of committing. Your brain is telling you this. It's perfectly normal.
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

<armchair_psychologist_mode>

I'm going to go out on a limb here and go with a subconscious response to fear of actual emotional commitment to the current girlfriend. No big. I dreamt I was in a mall the other day. Doesn't mean I really want to shop at Hot Topic. Just a dream.

</armchair_psychologist_mode>

Stupid Turbo Ninja...
 
Jake

Jake

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Um... whip it out? Sorry, that's all I've got*.

*Yes, that's what I usually say after whipping it out. :tear:
 
M

Morgoth

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Jake said:
Um... whip it out? Sorry, that's all I've got*.

*Yes, that's what I usually say after whipping it out. :tear:
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HAHAHA! You sir, win.
 
Shegokigo

Shegokigo

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Hmmm, really?

Maybe. I did get burned really bad in my relationship before my current GF. My GF used to get into fights with me, that I had commitment issues but I always blew it off cause I just don't think I do.

I thought the dream was due to unresolved issues/emtions I had with "her", but the more I think about it, the more "fear of commitment" might actually be it. ::(
 
Vytamindi

Vytamindi

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

We're here for you, Shego! Pursue your happiness!!! :D
 
S

SeraRelm

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

The one you have in hand, not the imagined one you had a single dream about because of this situation.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Look at this from a different angle. You know intellectually that the grass is always greener and very seldom is other than in your head.

Right now you have an ACTUAL person who loves you and fills your basic needs. If you dump her there's NO TELLING what will happen. What if you go there and she shoots you down? What then?

I'm not telling you what to do, but when you start looking at these things emotionally instead of logically you start to get into trouble.
 
strawman

strawman

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Commitment is coming to the realization that the relationship is worth more to you than the things you have to give up to maintain the relationship.

Once you've come to that realization, you act on it by letting those things go that impede the relationship.

This doesn't mean throwing your life away at all - it means grabbing onto a better life by choosing between two good but mutually exclusive things.

Commitment issues, for some people, is the anticipation of regret. They avoid making decisions because they fear the regret they may feel in the future because they close doors to paths that are interesting, but unexplored.

In addition to letting go of those things you've decided are less important, you also have to let go of the regret in the past, and the anticipated future regret. Learn from your mistakes, but don't flounder in them.

-Adam
 
S

SeraRelm

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I have no idea what you posted, Tin. It's just invalid characters on my screen.
 
Shegokigo

Shegokigo

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Current GF = Stability, Security, Love, Strong Partnership Relationship of Give and Take, Long History of Getting Through Hard Times.

"Her" = Someone I connect with on every single level.

I know the "smart" decision. I know who's "right" for me. I really think if I had just told "her" how I felt and been shot down in the first place, I wouldn't have her on this imaginary pedestal that haunts me every so often. This isn't the first dream I have, it's just been a while since I have.

Honestly though? I'm really feeling that maybe I had a wall up towards my GF I never realized before. So what if she doesn't get into games like me? So what if she prefers girly flicks and hip hop? I mean, if I need her to be somewhere. She's there. If I need her to do something, she does it. And not because I command her to, but because she wants to and recently.... I find that I want to do those things for her too.
 
S

SeraRelm

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

You're gonna make me tear up...
 
Shegokigo

Shegokigo

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Why?

Part of me thinks the reason I fought so hard to keep her during the fight was because maybe I'm not ready to be alone and look for someone that will give me the things I think I need. I'm not 100% convinced of what's happening right now, but I know things feel different than they ever did after a big fight....

Oh and "shegospear in love"? :thumb:
 
Shegokigo

Shegokigo

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

You're confusing the living daylights out of my Vyta.... :bush:
 
Tinwhistler

Tinwhistler

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

SeraRelm said:
I have no idea what you posted, Tin. It's just invalid characters on my screen.
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basically "your neighbor's wife looks prettier than your own."

Another way to say the "grass is always greener".
 
S

SeraRelm

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Ah, well whatever character set you used, I got the blocks with number's in them characters. :p
 
Vytamindi

Vytamindi

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Hey, I can be hers! I'm not allergic to iron shackles nor do I eat much. I will keep crying to a minimum and you will never hear me from the basement!

But what I'm trying to clear up is how happy I am while reading how you're realizing that you could be in love, are making sacrifices, trying to make it work! It takes a lot of work and maturity to do this, and not many people are willing to put in that effort!
 
R

Rubicon

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

It's not worth it, imho
 
drawn_inward

drawn_inward

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

stienman said:
Commitment issues, for some people, is the anticipation of regret. They avoid making decisions because they fear the regret they may feel in the future because they close doors to paths that are interesting, but unexplored.
-Adam
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Well said, sir. I know quite a bit about "the anticipation of regret."

Shego I may be speaking out of my ass here, but maybe you don't feel connected to your SO b/c you haven't put your heart out there for her. Chip away some of the stone that you've built up to protect yourself. Let yourself love her and let yourself be loved.

I say this, b/c until my current gf, I haven't been able to love. I didn't 'need' anyone or anything. I had to open up my heart and take a step in faith that she wouldn't destroy me. It was the best decision I have ever made.
 
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