So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (11/07/2009 GF's BDAY Edition)
- Thread starter Shegokigo
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So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
That's pretty accurate Gusto, I knew her for about a year, about 5-6hrs a day give or take. Always wanted to know her on an intimate level (emotionally/mentally, as well as the obvious physical)
Roxxy will do fine for "her" I guess. Though giving her a name at this point may be pointless. (I'm hoping)
That's pretty accurate Gusto, I knew her for about a year, about 5-6hrs a day give or take. Always wanted to know her on an intimate level (emotionally/mentally, as well as the obvious physical)
Roxxy will do fine for "her" I guess. Though giving her a name at this point may be pointless. (I'm hoping)
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
This is just my take on it.
If you kept looking to your girlfriend and reading her sadness in this dream while you were trying in futility to connect with a girl somewhat resembling your Alejandra, I would take that to mean that you still have feelings for her somewhere but are currently more concerned with your current girlfriend. You don't want to hurt her or lose her, but can't let go of those feelings. You don't like living with regret, not knowing what could have been.
This is fairly normal, and I hope it all works out for you.
This is just my take on it.
If you kept looking to your girlfriend and reading her sadness in this dream while you were trying in futility to connect with a girl somewhat resembling your Alejandra, I would take that to mean that you still have feelings for her somewhere but are currently more concerned with your current girlfriend. You don't want to hurt her or lose her, but can't let go of those feelings. You don't like living with regret, not knowing what could have been.
This is fairly normal, and I hope it all works out for you.
C
Chibibar
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
everyone has a different method of doing things and I like it when Shego is showing her other self. Heck, I'm happy she is willing to share this level of personal stuff to people here. plus she have been keeping it to a single thread and label it properly
Shego: We all have our "ideal relationship" but sometimes that ideal may not be attainable or even "impossible" since it is created in our head. You are being bombarded with tons of information, feelings, and situation and trying to make sense of it all and possible making a new ideal relationship or at least a real ideal relationship.
From what you post so far, in your dreams you can see your g/f face and "her" not so clear now. I think this can be a "sign" of some sort that you acknowledge your gf in your world and accepts her while "her" or your "ideal person" is not really there anymore. It could be a combination of stuff in your past you might think it is ideal (at least I hope I'm making sense)
good gravy man. maybe you need your own thread to tell how you feel
everyone has a different method of doing things and I like it when Shego is showing her other self. Heck, I'm happy she is willing to share this level of personal stuff to people here. plus she have been keeping it to a single thread and label it properly Shego: We all have our "ideal relationship" but sometimes that ideal may not be attainable or even "impossible" since it is created in our head. You are being bombarded with tons of information, feelings, and situation and trying to make sense of it all and possible making a new ideal relationship or at least a real ideal relationship.
From what you post so far, in your dreams you can see your g/f face and "her" not so clear now. I think this can be a "sign" of some sort that you acknowledge your gf in your world and accepts her while "her" or your "ideal person" is not really there anymore. It could be a combination of stuff in your past you might think it is ideal (at least I hope I'm making sense)
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
I'd be lying if I said I'm completely over "Roxxy", and yes I felt a long standing guilt of not telling my GF about how I had felt about Roxxy. For a long while I thought I was simply with my GF because of the convience of it, but when I almost lost her it was a shock to my system in a way I didn't expect.
With all that's happened recently I find myself more and more drawn to my GF as I hadn't been before, yet I still have Roxxy in the back of my mind as "what could have been".
I'd be lying if I said I'm completely over "Roxxy", and yes I felt a long standing guilt of not telling my GF about how I had felt about Roxxy. For a long while I thought I was simply with my GF because of the convience of it, but when I almost lost her it was a shock to my system in a way I didn't expect.
With all that's happened recently I find myself more and more drawn to my GF as I hadn't been before, yet I still have Roxxy in the back of my mind as "what could have been".
C
Chazwozel
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
I suggest a cage match. In oil... Hot oil...
I suggest a cage match. In oil... Hot oil...
S
SeraRelm
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
That's life. It matters more what you choose to do with it than what you considered doing. I'm very happy in my relationship with my wife, but I still sometimes think about someone from my past.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Thanks to alot of motivation I've gotten recently I was able to finally tell my GF about how I had always felt about Roxxy, and chosen my GF over her. That resolved ALOT of my issues that I had piled away.
All that's left now "issue wise" is that I never told Roxxy directly how I felt, and actually treated her horribly to push her away when I was having trouble deciding what I wanted to do with my relationship at the time.
Of course, that may be one issue better left unresolved....
Chaz: Between my GF and Roxxy? :drool: :uhhuh:
Thanks to alot of motivation I've gotten recently I was able to finally tell my GF about how I had always felt about Roxxy, and chosen my GF over her. That resolved ALOT of my issues that I had piled away.
All that's left now "issue wise" is that I never told Roxxy directly how I felt, and actually treated her horribly to push her away when I was having trouble deciding what I wanted to do with my relationship at the time.
Of course, that may be one issue better left unresolved....
Chaz: Between my GF and Roxxy? :drool: :uhhuh:
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
I'd also suggest that the Roxxy you're so attracted to isn't the real Roxxy, which could have been the aforementioned symbolic lack of face in your dream. You said you only knew her for a year, and while it's certainly possible to get to know a lot of a person in that time, it's not enough to get to know all.
You know your GF much better than you know Roxy. In your mind, your GF is a real person, complete with faults and things that will annoy you, as well as things that you will like. Roxy isn't, so all you have is the fantasy, and fantasy will always be attractive.
I'd also suggest that the Roxxy you're so attracted to isn't the real Roxxy, which could have been the aforementioned symbolic lack of face in your dream. You said you only knew her for a year, and while it's certainly possible to get to know a lot of a person in that time, it's not enough to get to know all.
You know your GF much better than you know Roxy. In your mind, your GF is a real person, complete with faults and things that will annoy you, as well as things that you will like. Roxy isn't, so all you have is the fantasy, and fantasy will always be attractive.
S
SeraRelm
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Nostalgia has a way of playing tricks on us, placing people and things on pedestals they don't really belong.
Nostalgia has a way of playing tricks on us, placing people and things on pedestals they don't really belong.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
And a bajillion more.
This, a bajillion times this.[/QUOTE]
And a bajillion more.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Nostalgia or not, I was completely enveloped in her when she was in my life...
Again, I'm not trying to make this out to be a "relapse", but she really was an amazing creature that I could easily have seen myself with on a permanent basis.
Nostalgia or not, I was completely enveloped in her when she was in my life...
Again, I'm not trying to make this out to be a "relapse", but she really was an amazing creature that I could easily have seen myself with on a permanent basis.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
And a bajillion more.[/QUOTE]
QF a bajillion T
This, a bajillion times this.[/QUOTE]
And a bajillion more.[/QUOTE]
QF a bajillion T
S
SeraRelm
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
I understand that, Shego, but this dream seems to be implying that the ideal was the more appealing aspect, and you're either A: afraid to take that step, seeking security in what you know you have or B: more interested in what you know you have and love(?). From all I've read here, I'm more likely to believe the latter.
I understand that, Shego, but this dream seems to be implying that the ideal was the more appealing aspect, and you're either A: afraid to take that step, seeking security in what you know you have or B: more interested in what you know you have and love(?). From all I've read here, I'm more likely to believe the latter.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Well I still have the lingering "want" to be with someone who's more compatible to my tastes, whether it be Roxxy or someonelse and the fact that my GF and I just can't seem to connect on most levels is a constant poke at my being sure that she's the one for "good".
At the same time there are the feelings I've been getting that are stronger and stronger since the conversation with my GF.
Well I still have the lingering "want" to be with someone who's more compatible to my tastes, whether it be Roxxy or someonelse and the fact that my GF and I just can't seem to connect on most levels is a constant poke at my being sure that she's the one for "good".
At the same time there are the feelings I've been getting that are stronger and stronger since the conversation with my GF.
S
SeraRelm
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Would you like to hang out with a copy of yourself all the time? Being with someone who has a few differing interests seems far more preferable to me.
Would you like to hang out with a copy of yourself all the time? Being with someone who has a few differing interests seems far more preferable to me.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Shannow: It's nothing out of your usual style of posting, it was just out of place here. I tend to take most of your direct attacks and dust them off, but this thread really is reaching out to those here who give advice that I've taken to heart on more than on occassion, even though most would say "Lol, advice from people online?" I hold alot of people here closer than most anyone I know "out there".
You first, turn around and bend over.
Maybe not a copy, but at least 2/20 things in common would be nice instead of exact opposites on every spectrum.
Shannow: It's nothing out of your usual style of posting, it was just out of place here. I tend to take most of your direct attacks and dust them off, but this thread really is reaching out to those here who give advice that I've taken to heart on more than on occassion, even though most would say "Lol, advice from people online?" I hold alot of people here closer than most anyone I know "out there".
C
Chibibar
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
well. I don't think you would need to "resolve" with "her" per se. She is getting married and you don't want to confuse her current relationship. (at least that is my personal advice)
I always though back on my past gf on "what if" we worked out, what if I try a little harder? and such but in the end, I'm very happy with my wife and resolve that if I did anything differently in the past, I wouldn't be where I am now in the present.
well. I don't think you would need to "resolve" with "her" per se. She is getting married and you don't want to confuse her current relationship. (at least that is my personal advice)
I always though back on my past gf on "what if" we worked out, what if I try a little harder? and such but in the end, I'm very happy with my wife and resolve that if I did anything differently in the past, I wouldn't be where I am now in the present.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Don't ever let it be said that I'm not willing to take one for the team.
You may proceed.
You first, turn around and bend over.[/QUOTE]
Don't ever let it be said that I'm not willing to take one for the team.
You may proceed.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Don't ever let it be said that I'm not willing to take one for the team.
You may proceed.[/QUOTE]
You are a braver soul than me, I'd have just left you sore and raw, then about my merry way. Kudos sir!
The problem was, for the longest time I wasn't happy with my GF, even now as my feelings are becoming more apparant, I'm not able to pinpoint exact reasons WHY I feel them toward her to begin with.
You first, turn around and bend over.[/QUOTE]
Don't ever let it be said that I'm not willing to take one for the team.
You may proceed.[/QUOTE]
You are a braver soul than me, I'd have just left you sore and raw, then about my merry way. Kudos sir!
W
Wasabi Poptart
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Maybe what you need are friends that you can hang out with who share your interests. I remember you saying earlier in the thread that you & your GF don't spend much time apart. Having friends, other than online, that share your interests can be fulfilling. My husband and I share some interests, but we also have some thing that we feel opposite about. I send him off with his friends from work to play poker or see movies I don't care about. I go hang out in a park with moms from my son's playgroup. It's good to have contact with people besides your significant other who enjoy similar things. It gives you something you can share together in conversation and learn more about each other, too.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
This is probably very applicable. You may have very different tastes, and yet still be very in love and happy.
However, you can't expect your most important relationship to fulfill all your needs.
While you obviously have good friends here, there's no replacement for face-to-face friends that take you away from your computer, your GF, and fulfill social needs that can't be adequately filled by us or your GF.
Further, though it may seem counter-intuitive, having strong friendships may serve to strengthen your relationship with your GF. One of the consequences of spending 100% time together is that you are constantly both acutely aware that there are some needs going unfulfilled, and that you aren't able to completely meet each other's needs.
You may recognize that logically it doesn't mean something's wrong with you, her, or the relationship, but it's still very draining emotionally.
But if you get with friends once in awhile, then you'll have more of your needs met, and you'll spend less time worrying when your with her, and more time enjoying your time with her.
-Adam
Maybe what you need are friends that you can hang out with who share your interests. I remember you saying earlier in the thread that you & your GF don't spend much time apart. Having friends, other than online, that share your interests can be fulfilling. My husband and I share some interests, but we also have some thing that we feel opposite about. I send him off with his friends from work to play poker or see movies I don't care about. I go hang out in a park with moms from my son's playgroup. It's good to have contact with people besides your significant other who enjoy similar things. It gives you something you can share together in conversation and learn more about each other, too.[/QUOTE]
This is probably very applicable. You may have very different tastes, and yet still be very in love and happy.
However, you can't expect your most important relationship to fulfill all your needs.
While you obviously have good friends here, there's no replacement for face-to-face friends that take you away from your computer, your GF, and fulfill social needs that can't be adequately filled by us or your GF.
Further, though it may seem counter-intuitive, having strong friendships may serve to strengthen your relationship with your GF. One of the consequences of spending 100% time together is that you are constantly both acutely aware that there are some needs going unfulfilled, and that you aren't able to completely meet each other's needs.
You may recognize that logically it doesn't mean something's wrong with you, her, or the relationship, but it's still very draining emotionally.
But if you get with friends once in awhile, then you'll have more of your needs met, and you'll spend less time worrying when your with her, and more time enjoying your time with her.
-Adam
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Another thing is, I always had the thought in my head to get together with someone who was as close a friend as they were a lover, instead I'm with someone who's a fantastic partner, and terrible friend (interests wise).
Well that may be from the fact that I have no friends IRL to speak of, other than my brother 4hrs away. I do see the need for friends, but I tend not to get involved with (socially) people from work. I also don't have many local events here to make friends of similar interest from (no gaming/anime events for 4hrs in any direction) so until I move to a bigger city (2 more years) I don't see that happening.
Another thing is, I always had the thought in my head to get together with someone who was as close a friend as they were a lover, instead I'm with someone who's a fantastic partner, and terrible friend (interests wise).
C
Chibibar
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
Another thing is, I always had the thought in my head to get together with someone who was as close a friend as they were a lover, instead I'm with someone who's a fantastic partner, and terrible friend (interests wise).[/QUOTE]
personally I don't think that is a "bad" thing per se Shego. If you have different interest then you could have "alone" time while having fun with those interest and may occasionally get her to come to if she might be interested (like you said she do come with you) and vice versa, but it does allow some separate time from each other once in a while.
Also there might be more "interest" since your perspective of her has change. You be surprise the mind can do terrible tricks on you. You told us in the past you are just living with her for "convenience" so you may mentally "block of possible interest" outside of physical stuff. It is possible, but now you see her in a new light, you may have some common that you are not blocking or overlooking.
but back on original thought, it is not totally bad not to have all same interest. I'm sure both of you have something of same interest. Heck, now is a good time to explore new interest together
Well that may be from the fact that I have no friends IRL to speak of, other than my brother 4hrs away. I do see the need for friends, but I tend not to get involved with (socially) people from work. I also don't have many local events here to make friends of similar interest from (no gaming/anime events for 4hrs in any direction) so until I move to a bigger city (2 more years) I don't see that happening.
Another thing is, I always had the thought in my head to get together with someone who was as close a friend as they were a lover, instead I'm with someone who's a fantastic partner, and terrible friend (interests wise).[/QUOTE]
personally I don't think that is a "bad" thing per se Shego. If you have different interest then you could have "alone" time while having fun with those interest and may occasionally get her to come to if she might be interested (like you said she do come with you) and vice versa, but it does allow some separate time from each other once in a while.
Also there might be more "interest" since your perspective of her has change. You be surprise the mind can do terrible tricks on you. You told us in the past you are just living with her for "convenience" so you may mentally "block of possible interest" outside of physical stuff. It is possible, but now you see her in a new light, you may have some common that you are not blocking or overlooking.
but back on original thought, it is not totally bad not to have all same interest. I'm sure both of you have something of same interest. Heck, now is a good time to explore new interest together
W
Wasabi Poptart
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
I agree with Chibi that this could be a great opportunity for you and your GF to explore some new interests. Plus, I always find compromise to be a good thing when it comes to differing tastes. My husband loves zombie everything. Me - not so much. But I am willing to read a book like World War Z to give me some insight into his interest. And I'm glad I did because I really enjoyed it. There's nothing wrong with broadening your horizons either.
I agree with Chibi that this could be a great opportunity for you and your GF to explore some new interests. Plus, I always find compromise to be a good thing when it comes to differing tastes. My husband loves zombie everything. Me - not so much. But I am willing to read a book like World War Z to give me some insight into his interest. And I'm glad I did because I really enjoyed it. There's nothing wrong with broadening your horizons either.
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
You know, you just sparked something in my memory Wildsoul.
She's read every manga/comic novel I've left in the bathroom. Including my Dragonball collections...
The only problem is, when I've tried to get her to watch some of the series or have any kind of lengthy conversation with her about any of it, it mostly goes in one ear and out the other.
There might be something there though, I mean she DID buy "Lost Girls" by Alan Moore in Hardback recently now that I think about it....
You know, you just sparked something in my memory Wildsoul.
She's read every manga/comic novel I've left in the bathroom. Including my Dragonball collections...
The only problem is, when I've tried to get her to watch some of the series or have any kind of lengthy conversation with her about any of it, it mostly goes in one ear and out the other.
There might be something there though, I mean she DID buy "Lost Girls" by Alan Moore in Hardback recently now that I think about it....
So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)
She picked up Alan Moore. MARRY HER.
She picked up Alan Moore. MARRY HER.
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