The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
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Good advise no matter what the occasion.
M
makare
yeah man that's what the sink is for.
figmentPez
Staff member
What I find interesting about that is asparagus doesn't make everyone's pee smell, and not everyone can smell it when it does. There is a certain chemical in asparagus that causes the smell, and not everyone eliminates it unmetabolized, and there's a different set of people who can't smell that chemical.
S
SeraRelm
And this has been your year in urine. Good night, and good luck.
M
makare
My friend sent me this link to an illustrated guide to criminal law. It is pretty interesting. http://thecriminallawyer.tumblr.com/post/13656784545/1-introduction-crime
I especially liked this part because so many people have a difficult time understanding mens rea or even how crimes with the same result can not have the same penalty.
http://thecriminallawyer.tumblr.com/post/14597572112/6-mens-rea-i-didnt-mean-to
I especially liked this part because so many people have a difficult time understanding mens rea or even how crimes with the same result can not have the same penalty.
http://thecriminallawyer.tumblr.com/post/14597572112/6-mens-rea-i-didnt-mean-to
M
makare
I follow them on facebook.
Quite strange. It apparently affects men more than women, but many men who don't experience when they're young, grow into having their urine smell. Something must change about the way we metabolise whatever it is.
S
SeraRelm
that, that was kind of amazingly crazy awesome....
Here's a story I have been meaning to tell the past few days.
This past Sunday my sister and I took walk around down town. The goal was to get her a birthday gist because she's impossible to shop for and gives no hints. That part was rather uneventful: she saw a mug she liked and I bought it for her.
The good part came after we had lunch. We decided to walk over to a new store that had opened up. As we neared we saw they had a sign out front:
"Card Readings! Today Only! $10"
We looked through the window and saw there was a woman sitting there at a table, on the platform where a mannequin should be. She was giving a reading but she looked up and smiled at us. My sister I waved. I studied the woman. She was plump and about mid forties, grey hair cutshort in a 'boy' style. She wore no make up, a striped sweater that made her look sixty and mom jeans. Also, her brief smile seemed...insincere.
My sister got excited. She loves card readings! Don't get me wrong...I have some spirituality. I have gotten good card readings before...hell! I once went to a psychic with a friend of mine, dressed opposite of what I normally did and tried everything to deceive her...yet the ladt was able to peg some very eerie things about me. I wasn't about to knock my sister for being excited.
So, when the lady was done she hopped up in the window to get her reading done. I browsed the shop and spoke with employees. I asked them about the reader and they mostly shrugged, "She's the owners friend."
10 minutes pass and my sister comes to me, she looks happy. I asked her if she had a good reading and she shoves ten bucks in my hand . "You don't have to pay me back. Just GO. You're going to love this!"
I take a seat opposite the woman. She lays all the cards out in front of herself and blows them while making a hooting sound like a owl. "I am cleaning their aura so that your friends energy doesn't get in the way."
"Sister." I correct.
She pauses. "Ah. I see that now. Your auras are similar."
I knew I was in for something special. I waited for her to stop hooting at the cards. She then gathered them and had me shuffle them. I did so. She told me to pick nine. I did so again, dropping one on the floor.
She stoops to pick it up and I check out one of the many crystals on her table. They were pretty...but one looked strange. 'Made in china'. It was plastic. I said nothing.
She begins the reading. "This is good. All clubs! That means progress in work! You will soon be promoted!"
"I don't work." I told her, truthfully.
"Ah!" She stumbled a moment. "Well that means you will soon find the job you are looking for!"
"I'm freelance," I tell her.
"Then you will soon get the contract with the firm you are looknig for. You are a programmer, right?"
"I'm an artist."
Frustration was entering her voice. "Shall we move on?" I nodded, hiding a smile.
She moved on to the cards. It was just my luck that I pulled the ace of spades. I waited as she furrowed her brow. She kept glancing at me, as if nervous.
"Someone has died recently in your life. Someone you are not close to. A celebrity of sorts."
I mentioned in the minor rant thread that a minor celebrity, Big Tom, died last week. There wasn't a person in the province that didn't know about Big Tom or his death. He really was a beloved local celebrity.
It was at this point that I learned that I HATED this woman. She was going to use this as part of her reading!
I wasn't having it. "Oh. I disconnected myself from that a while ago. I don't watch TV or movies any more."
She laughed and looked at me strangely. "I don't think it was someone that famous. The cards are telling me it was someone local...perhaps they had something to do with radio or music."
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh! I haven't heard about anything!"
"I'm getting a male...he was very much loved."
"Oh...that's sad. I hope your cards are wrong!"
She looked at me. "Perhaps it will come to you later. Let us move on."
I nodded.
"I'm getting more clubs and a kind. Your brotyher is going to give you money before the summer has ended!"
"I don't have a brother. "Another truth.
"You don't? The cards tell me a male around oyur age will give you money...he is related."
"Perhaps my husband?"
"Oh! You're married! YES! King! It is your husband!"
I stared at her. I had my wedding ring on. All she had to do was LOOK at me to find out I was married. Even a con artist should know this. "Are you new to this?"
She laughed..but it was nasty. "You're not convinced of my connections and power! Ask a question to the cards and I will answer it!"
"My son is misbehaving. Will he ever settle down?"
She looks at her cards. "Yes. You may need to take him to the doctor to have test done...perhaps speak with his teacher...but he will."
"His teacher?"
"Yes. He is probably being bad at school, right?"
"My son is almost 3."
"Our time is up."
I wanted to ask for my money back...but I feel like she won't be in this business for long.
This past Sunday my sister and I took walk around down town. The goal was to get her a birthday gist because she's impossible to shop for and gives no hints. That part was rather uneventful: she saw a mug she liked and I bought it for her.
The good part came after we had lunch. We decided to walk over to a new store that had opened up. As we neared we saw they had a sign out front:
"Card Readings! Today Only! $10"
We looked through the window and saw there was a woman sitting there at a table, on the platform where a mannequin should be. She was giving a reading but she looked up and smiled at us. My sister I waved. I studied the woman. She was plump and about mid forties, grey hair cutshort in a 'boy' style. She wore no make up, a striped sweater that made her look sixty and mom jeans. Also, her brief smile seemed...insincere.
My sister got excited. She loves card readings! Don't get me wrong...I have some spirituality. I have gotten good card readings before...hell! I once went to a psychic with a friend of mine, dressed opposite of what I normally did and tried everything to deceive her...yet the ladt was able to peg some very eerie things about me. I wasn't about to knock my sister for being excited.
So, when the lady was done she hopped up in the window to get her reading done. I browsed the shop and spoke with employees. I asked them about the reader and they mostly shrugged, "She's the owners friend."
10 minutes pass and my sister comes to me, she looks happy. I asked her if she had a good reading and she shoves ten bucks in my hand . "You don't have to pay me back. Just GO. You're going to love this!"
I take a seat opposite the woman. She lays all the cards out in front of herself and blows them while making a hooting sound like a owl. "I am cleaning their aura so that your friends energy doesn't get in the way."
"Sister." I correct.
She pauses. "Ah. I see that now. Your auras are similar."
I knew I was in for something special. I waited for her to stop hooting at the cards. She then gathered them and had me shuffle them. I did so. She told me to pick nine. I did so again, dropping one on the floor.
She stoops to pick it up and I check out one of the many crystals on her table. They were pretty...but one looked strange. 'Made in china'. It was plastic. I said nothing.
She begins the reading. "This is good. All clubs! That means progress in work! You will soon be promoted!"
"I don't work." I told her, truthfully.
"Ah!" She stumbled a moment. "Well that means you will soon find the job you are looking for!"
"I'm freelance," I tell her.
"Then you will soon get the contract with the firm you are looknig for. You are a programmer, right?"
"I'm an artist."
Frustration was entering her voice. "Shall we move on?" I nodded, hiding a smile.
She moved on to the cards. It was just my luck that I pulled the ace of spades. I waited as she furrowed her brow. She kept glancing at me, as if nervous.
"Someone has died recently in your life. Someone you are not close to. A celebrity of sorts."
I mentioned in the minor rant thread that a minor celebrity, Big Tom, died last week. There wasn't a person in the province that didn't know about Big Tom or his death. He really was a beloved local celebrity.
It was at this point that I learned that I HATED this woman. She was going to use this as part of her reading!
I wasn't having it. "Oh. I disconnected myself from that a while ago. I don't watch TV or movies any more."
She laughed and looked at me strangely. "I don't think it was someone that famous. The cards are telling me it was someone local...perhaps they had something to do with radio or music."
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh! I haven't heard about anything!"
"I'm getting a male...he was very much loved."
"Oh...that's sad. I hope your cards are wrong!"
She looked at me. "Perhaps it will come to you later. Let us move on."
I nodded.
"I'm getting more clubs and a kind. Your brotyher is going to give you money before the summer has ended!"
"I don't have a brother. "Another truth.
"You don't? The cards tell me a male around oyur age will give you money...he is related."
"Perhaps my husband?"
"Oh! You're married! YES! King! It is your husband!"
I stared at her. I had my wedding ring on. All she had to do was LOOK at me to find out I was married. Even a con artist should know this. "Are you new to this?"
She laughed..but it was nasty. "You're not convinced of my connections and power! Ask a question to the cards and I will answer it!"
"My son is misbehaving. Will he ever settle down?"
She looks at her cards. "Yes. You may need to take him to the doctor to have test done...perhaps speak with his teacher...but he will."
"His teacher?"
"Yes. He is probably being bad at school, right?"
"My son is almost 3."
"Our time is up."
I wanted to ask for my money back...but I feel like she won't be in this business for long.
A haiku:
Folding clothes on bed
Walk to closet, one by one
Oh sweet Christmas, derp
Folding clothes on bed
Walk to closet, one by one
Oh sweet Christmas, derp
That haiku is shit
I'm sorry to tell you that
But it is the truth.
I'm sorry to tell you that
But it is the truth.
I don't need a dog
To tell me how to haiku
Don't poop in the hall
To tell me how to haiku
Don't poop in the hall
That one was better
If I may offer advice
Do way more poop jokes
If I may offer advice
Do way more poop jokes
How about this one then
Oh damn, I've got nothing
At least poop is still funny
Oh damn, I've got nothing
At least poop is still funny
M
makare
Don't mix baseball and tarot.
The Thing! Is his dork made of orange rock like the rest of his body?
S
SeraRelm
No.
M
makare
well *I* could....
S
SeraRelm
Even with gloves and some form of mouth protection, due to her super strength, something is getting crushed when she gets off.
Apparently Rogue now has full control of her absorption ability and can activate it at will.
S
SeraRelm
M
makare
better not be new season spoilers or i will... well let's just say you'll wish you could time travel!