Sam just moved from Spokane to Wichita, KS. She was able to pick the keys up to her new house Saturday (rental) so the wife and I drove down to help her move some stuff in, check some stuff out, etc. The focus, though, on this post is the Bed & Breakfast we stayed at.
The place we stayed was called the
Delano Bed & Breakfast. Nice little place. Pretty old and antique but it was reasonably priced and has GREAT reviews. The adventure begins when we get there and the bed is a LOT smaller than we'd anticipated. This is a problem for two American-sized individuals. We go to bed that night and it's cozy but doable. My wife sits down on the antique bed - which creaks like you are putting wood through a chipper - and the whole side of the bed collapses. Oh shit. Thankfully, it was just that it was an old bed and the wooden slats under the mattress were not in the frame squarely. In fact, one of the slats was on TOP of the frame, which left the other one a mere centimeter or two away from disaster, which we found out to our chagrin. Which also made Kerri fearful of sleeping on it the rest of the night. Add in the fact that the rooms were small and each had their own individual heating/cooling system so it got REAL COLD REAL FAST when we turned on the AC. Well, neither of us slept much that first night.
Breakfast the next morning was pretty amazing, actually. Homemade yogurt and fresh tarts hot from the oven with blackberries with Kenyan tea. Really great breakfast! Then off to Sam's where we worked all day and I spent so much money that we're effectively broke until I get paid Friday. Good thing we like Ramen and Mac & Cheese!
Anyway, we get Sam situated and it turns out she has two air mattresses. We decide that Kerri will stay with Sam her first night in the "not slum but not great" neighborhood she's in, and I go back to the B&B. This is an important point - as of this decision, there was nobody else booked at this B&B other than myself. I get back, take a shower, get into bed & start reading so I can fall asleep. I get a text from the host that she booked the other room - there are two - last minute so I would have neighbors. I joked with her that I'd be quiet and she laughingly responded that she hoped so since we were the resident bed-breakers.
About 9 I hear someone coming in, talking on the speaker phone very loudly. The B&B dog, Dozer, was freaking out. Quick aside, we loved Dozer. He was very cute and loved to visit the people staying. 10 out of 10 would pet again. But I digress. So the girl talking on the phone, sounding in her early 20's, came walking down the hall talking to the host and I can hear the host saying, "Last door on the left side. It has <<name>> on it." Sure enough, instead of going to the RIGHT door, she opens MY door, which I had not locked when I'd gotten into bed as nobody else was going to be there. MY ERROR! I get it. So here's an old fat guy sitting shirtless in bed and the door opens. I didn't see her but she could not help but see me. I said, "Wrong door." and it closed at the speed of sound and I could hear her - still on speaker phone with the host - completely flustered and embarrassed fumbling with the door on the other side while I laughed.
A bit later she's STILL on speaker phone talking to someone and obviously trying to guide them to the house. It's about 9:30 at this point so I'm not too put out although talking on a speaker phone annoys me. The guy gets there and they talk - loudly - about going out. Then they leave. Quiet descends and I fall asleep. 11 pm rolls around and back they come. Still speaking loudly, obviously they'd been drinking, and obviously they are the only ones in the world because now I'm awake again as they stumble into their room. It gets quiet for about 15 minutes then they proceed to have loud monkey-sex for about an hour and a half while I lay there regretting my life choices. I still don't know her name but I have it on good authority that his name is "Derek".
Next morning comes and I go for breakfast. Again, amazing breakfast with cranberry bread just out of the oven & still steaming hot. That kind of thing. I talked to the hosts for a while before I left to go to Sam's and then I was gone. I was hoping the couple would come to breakfast while I was there. I was going to greet him by name and say to the girl, "I'm sorry, Derek never mentioned your name."