Things I hate
- Thread starter GasBandit
- Start date
Dave
Staff member
And smelled it. For the record, this car is a 1999 Saturn SL1. It sits on the street and I don't lock it. So to open the hood would have been easy. This is the one someone tried to steal last year but couldn't since it's a stick shift. Instead they rolled it down to the bottom of the hill trying to get it started.
So the bastards won't break his window, to get to his cassette collection.
Hey, new cars don't have cassette decks either, so you can, like, pretend it's a new car.
I feel your pain. Oh boy, do I.
Up 9/17 at 7:30a, bed finally 9/18 at 2:40a, up again 3hrs later at 5:45a so I'll have enough time to drop the car off for repair on the way to work, won't get home from work tonight until 7:30p.
I may skip dinner.
--Patrick
Dave
Staff member
People. Just...people. Especially people who think they are funny or are comedy writers.
Just got a hit for a 60th birthday party where they want the comedian to roast the birthday boy. Oh, and it'll be reading from a prepared script that the wife wrote. I'm sure it's going to be HILARIOUS!
Hey, I know! Hire a professional DJ to come to your house to push play on your iPod and not read the room or otherwise use their expertise to make things go smoothly. Stupid fucking people.
Just got a hit for a 60th birthday party where they want the comedian to roast the birthday boy. Oh, and it'll be reading from a prepared script that the wife wrote. I'm sure it's going to be HILARIOUS!
Hey, I know! Hire a professional DJ to come to your house to push play on your iPod and not read the room or otherwise use their expertise to make things go smoothly. Stupid fucking people.
There's therapists who can help with self-loathing. There there. You shouldn't hate yourself, there are plenty of aspects of you to love.
And you went with the self-disparaging remark instead? That's lazy comedy, man
No lazier than going with the tried and true Dave's older than dirt joke. Well, yeah, it was lazier since I just clicked an emoticon rather than typing out a whole sentence.And you went with the self-disparaging remark instead? That's lazy comedy, man
At least I didn't pun
Dave
Staff member
Update: I told the lady no comic in my pool of comics wanted the gig. When she asked why I told her right up front. I also asked her why she even needed a comic if someone was going to just read what was on the sheet. She agreed that it was stupid and she said that she'd send over the speech and let our comic (not me - I'm not an insult comic) write their own jokes based on the sheet she sent. So score!
Cajungal
Staff member
Honesty ftw!
Remote Control manufacturers. They can all die in a fire. Every one of them.
I got around buying a universal remote to replace the crappy Phillips OEM remotes that snap in half and have battery contacts that don't actually meet the terminals somehow by just using the universal/programmable remote that came with our Spectrum service. It's such a poorly manufactured remote that I'd like to leave it on the railroad tracks and let a lumber train take care of it for me. The buttons have to be pressed specifically straight up and down. They can't be, say, brushed across, quickly, while entering a three-digit series of numbers. They can't be pushed from slightly below or slightly above the precise center of the button if your finger slips off of it. Only straight up, and straight down. The issue with this, of course, is that they used extra-floppy rubber buttons, which are a full 2mm high, instead of a low profile button that would depress more uniformly. Also, when I say they can't be pressed that way, that's obviously and demonstrably false, because the remote itself registers the button push when it occurs (not when the button is released) by lighting up the input device type at the top - so you know whether you're controlling the cable, the TV, or another aux device. Unfortunately, the device doesn't transmit the result of the button push until you release the button, and if you slip slightly off center it doesn't work. This leads to all kinds of ridiculous arm positions, finger gymnastics, and frustrated shouts of "just accept the button push you stupid hunk of shit!" Seriously, who mass-manufactures this crap and why do they keep using pure Chinesium?!
I got around buying a universal remote to replace the crappy Phillips OEM remotes that snap in half and have battery contacts that don't actually meet the terminals somehow by just using the universal/programmable remote that came with our Spectrum service. It's such a poorly manufactured remote that I'd like to leave it on the railroad tracks and let a lumber train take care of it for me. The buttons have to be pressed specifically straight up and down. They can't be, say, brushed across, quickly, while entering a three-digit series of numbers. They can't be pushed from slightly below or slightly above the precise center of the button if your finger slips off of it. Only straight up, and straight down. The issue with this, of course, is that they used extra-floppy rubber buttons, which are a full 2mm high, instead of a low profile button that would depress more uniformly. Also, when I say they can't be pressed that way, that's obviously and demonstrably false, because the remote itself registers the button push when it occurs (not when the button is released) by lighting up the input device type at the top - so you know whether you're controlling the cable, the TV, or another aux device. Unfortunately, the device doesn't transmit the result of the button push until you release the button, and if you slip slightly off center it doesn't work. This leads to all kinds of ridiculous arm positions, finger gymnastics, and frustrated shouts of "just accept the button push you stupid hunk of shit!" Seriously, who mass-manufactures this crap and why do they keep using pure Chinesium?!
Megyn Kelly. I mean, I've never liked her, but thanks to her dumbass I had to explain to my 6-year-old what "blackface" means because he overheard it on the news. Short version:
"Blackface is something people used to do to make fun of other people. Is it ever okay to make fun of someone?"
"No, Mommy."
"That lady got in trouble because she tried to say it was okay to make fun of people sometimes, and everyone told her that it wasn't. Also, please don't repeat that word because it's not a nice thing to say."
"Oh, okay."
It's bad enough as an adult I have to be vaguely aware of her stupidity. Don't infect my child, bitch.
"Blackface is something people used to do to make fun of other people. Is it ever okay to make fun of someone?"
"No, Mommy."
"That lady got in trouble because she tried to say it was okay to make fun of people sometimes, and everyone told her that it wasn't. Also, please don't repeat that word because it's not a nice thing to say."
"Oh, okay."
It's bad enough as an adult I have to be vaguely aware of her stupidity. Don't infect my child, bitch.
But didn't you know? It was a major scoop for NBC when they lured her away from Fox. Her ratings were so high! And surely all of that racist nonsense was just the persona that Fox required, right?
figmentPez
Staff member
‘Megyn Kelly Today’ Is Canceled as the NBC Host Negotiates an Exit
She's still an NBC employee, and they'll have to pay her a lot to end her contract.
Part of me is annoyed that it took this long, or that they hired her in the first place, but whatever. Bye, Felicia.
