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Welp... (Leyla has joined the battle)

Dec 10, 2012#1

Jay

Dec 10, 2012#2

Cheesy1

Jay . . . is . . . spawning?!

(Joking man, congrats!)

Dec 10, 2012#3

Jay

Dec 10, 2012#4

Gared

Cheers!

Or maybe condolences?

Dec 10, 2012#5

BErt

...and he never posted in the "I just had sex" thread again.

Congrats Man!

Dec 10, 2012#6

WasabiPoptart

Congratulations!

Dec 10, 2012#7

Ravenpoe

Dammit Jay, you can't have a baby. How are we gonna game together if you're changing diapers!

Dec 10, 2012#8

bhamv3

Jay is pregnant? :eek:

Dec 10, 2012#9

Cheesy1

bhamv3 said:
Jay is pregnant?

And Ravenpoe is the father!

Dec 10, 2012#10

Timmus

Congratulations Jay and...Lady Jay?

Dec 10, 2012#11

strawman

I'm telling you man be careful. Once you pop, you can't stop...

Dec 11, 2012#12

Timmus

stienman said:
I'm telling you man be careful. Once you pop, you can't stop...

Babies: Betcha can't eat just one.

Dec 11, 2012#13

ThatNickGuy

Wait a minute. JAY is pregnant? Not his wife?

Dec 11, 2012#14

North_Ranger

Congratulations, Jay and Mrs Jay! Here's the sign-up form for the Halforums Baby Army, to be filled in triplicate...

Dec 11, 2012#15

Azurephoenix

Ravenpoe said:
Dammit Jay, you can't have a baby. How are we gonna game together if you're changing diapers!

This just means he can't make fun of my erratic/non-existant multiplayer gaming schedule because he will know how it works now.

Congratulations Jay! Make sure to instill the EA hate at an early age.

Dec 11, 2012#16

sixpackshaker

Surprise!!!

Dec 11, 2012#17

Adam

Awesome bud, congrats!

Dec 11, 2012#18

North_Ranger

Incidentally, doesn't that word have an 'H' in it? Like, right after the 'W'?

Dec 11, 2012#19

strawman

North_Ranger said:
Incidentally, doesn't that word have an 'H' in it? Like, right after the 'W'?

Only if you're referring to an actual whelp.

In this case welp is a version of "well" when there's nothing more to say.

Dec 11, 2012#20

PatrThom

Now for the real question...

...boy or girl*?

--Patrick
*Or...other?

Dec 11, 2012#21

Dave

Congrats! You the man!

Dec 11, 2012#22

Jay

Holy crap, 30 alerts... and I forgot I posted this today.

Ravenpoe said:
Dammit Jay, you can't have a baby. How are we gonna game together if you're changing diapers!

With sticky fingers.

Azurephoenix said:
This just means he can't make fun of my erratic/non-existant multiplayer gaming schedule because he will know how it works now.

Congratulations Jay! Make sure to instill the EA hate at an early age.

Baby's name will be Shepard.

PatrThom said:
Now for the real question...

...boy or girl*?

--Patrick
*Or...other?

Hard to tell, she's only a few weeks pregnant... and the baby is probably the size of an orange seed.

Dec 11, 2012#23

Bowielee

Y'all multiply like rabbits.

Contratulations Jay.

Dec 11, 2012#24

CrimsonSoul

Why is it when a woman gets pregnant all the ladies rub her belly and say congratulations, but no one rubs your dick and says good job?

Dec 11, 2012#25

Bowielee

Technically, they'd have to cup the balls unless people started rubbing pregnant women's vaginas.

Dec 11, 2012#26

Ravenpoe

CrimsonSoul said:
Why is it when a woman gets pregnant all the ladies rub her belly and say congratulations, but no one rubs your dick and says good job?

You're right. We should all high five Jay's dick. Or at least shake his balls.

Dec 11, 2012#27

Hylian

So you have testicular cancer?

j/k congrats

Dec 11, 2012#28

Bowielee

Dec 11, 2012#29

CrimsonSoul

Bowielee said:
people started rubbing pregnant women's vaginas.

Now that's something I can get behind!

Dec 11, 2012#30

bhamv3

CrimsonSoul said:
Now that's something I can get behind!

It's something I can get into too!

Dec 11, 2012#31

Cajungal

Congratulations, Jay! stienman don't you get a toaster or something after the 7th? It's something to look forward to... besides the precious bundle, that is.

Dec 11, 2012#32

Jay

Ravenpoe said:
You're right. We should all high five Jay's dick. Or at least shake his balls.

Get in line good Sir!

Also

Ravenpoe said:
Dammit Jay, you can't have a baby. How are we gonna game together if you're changing diapers!

cute-toy-story-typography-woody-Favim.com-295228.gif

Dec 11, 2012#33

Frank

Baby's eh?

Raise a good one Jaysef.

Congrats yo.

Dec 11, 2012#34

CrimsonSoul

I like how this went from Jay's baby to cupping balls and rubbing a pregnant womans vagina then back to Jay's baby

Dec 11, 2012#35

Jay

My new avatar... who likes?

Dec 11, 2012#36

Timmus

You're wife is gestating an avatar!?

I have so many questions I don't know where to begin.

Dec 11, 2012#37

bhamv3

Timmus said:
You're wife is gestating an avatar!?

I have so many questions I don't know where to begin.

And avatars are combinations of human DNA and Na'vi DNA. Therefore, we must conclude that either Jay or his wife is a 10-foot blue alien.

Dec 11, 2012#38

Timmus

bhamv3 said:
And avatars are combinations of human DNA and Na'vi DNA. Therefore, we must conclude that either Jay or his wife is a 10-foot blue alien.

I hope it's his wife for her sake...

Dec 11, 2012#39

Ravenpoe

Those blue chicks were hot.

Dec 11, 2012#40

Timmus

Ravenpoe said:
Those blue chicks were hot.

I'd hit that...with a stepladder.

Dec 11, 2012#41

Ravenpoe

Oh shit... Avatar just turned me into a furry.

Dec 11, 2012#42

Timmus

Ravenpoe said:
Oh shit... Avatar just turned me into a furry.

Dec 11, 2012#43

Ravenpoe

I should accept my fursona

*I wonder how much we can derail Jay's huge news

Dec 12, 2012#44

WasabiPoptart

Ravenpoe said:
I should accept my fursona

Dec 12, 2012#45

bhamv3

WasabiPoptart said:

Well, I know what my nightmares are going to be about tonight.

Dec 12, 2012#46

Timmus

WasabiPoptart said:

Dec 12, 2012#47

PatrThom

Jay said:
Hard to tell, she's only a few weeks pregnant... and the baby is probably the size of an orange seed.

From little acorns, and all that.

--Patrick

Dec 12, 2012#48

Timmus

HOLY SHIT! JAY'S HAVING A TREE!?

Dec 12, 2012#49

Emrys

Timmus, honey, we need to talk...

Dec 12, 2012#50

Jay

Yes, I'm planting my seed.

/rr martin

Dec 12, 2012#51

WasabiPoptart

Timmus said:
HOLY SHIT! JAY'S HAVING A TREE!?

No no. His wife really likes oranges.

Dec 12, 2012#52

Gusto

Jay said:
Yes, I'm planting my seed.

/rr martin

I'm now gonna refer to you by your new title, Mother of Dragons.

Dec 12, 2012#53

Azurephoenix

Jay said:
Baby's name will be Shepard.

Too aweseome... I salute you sir

Dec 12, 2012#54

drawn_inward

Azurephoenix said:
Too aweseome... I salute you sir

That's Mr. Shepard Mal Canuck to you.

BTW Congrats Jay!

Dec 12, 2012#55

IronBrig4

Well congratulations! This is good news. Let there be feasting and celebration throughout the kingdom!

Dec 12, 2012#56

Jay

Much obliged people.

Now I have mostly received the congratulatory comments by the good folk of Halforums, now one has to ask.... what will change in this humble man's life?

Dec 12, 2012#57

strawman

Make a list of the top three activities you enjoy. Now stop doing two of them.

Dec 12, 2012#58

Jay

1. Posting constructive and positive things on Halforums.
2. Cooking new recipes.
3. Sexual things.

Dec 12, 2012#59

sixpackshaker

Jay said:
1. Posting constructive and positive things on Halforums.
2. Cooking new recipes.
3. Sexual things.

You're going to really miss the bedroom and kitchen...

Dec 12, 2012#60

Azurephoenix

Jay said:
Much obliged people.

Now I have mostly received the congratulatory comments by the good folk of Halforums, now one has to ask.... what will change in this humble man's life?

Your multiplayer gaming schedule will be like mine... welcome to the brotherhood!

Also, you must master the art of the quickie. Children are merciless cockblockers.

Dec 12, 2012#61

Jay

Not if they aren't tied next to the water heater in the garage.

Dec 12, 2012#62

PatrThom

Jay said:
what will change in this humble man's life?

Well, assuming everything comes out all right...

…your schedule will be disrupted.
…the Government will expect certain things of you.
…you will become responsible for things you don't control.
…you will need to learn to budget.
…you will buy a big pile of crap that you will use for one year and then throw away, and every year, you will buy another pile.
…everything of value to you will be in constant danger of being destroyed.

But seriously, the biggest change in your life? You will have to always consider what's best for somebody else ahead of yourself. Every time. Otherwise, you aren't doing it right.

--Patrick

Dec 12, 2012#63

Ravenpoe

PatrThom said:
You will have to always consider what's best for somebody else ahead of yourself.

Fuck that, I'm never having kids.

Dec 12, 2012#64

Silent Bob

Dec 12, 2012#65

Zappit

And if we track the chain of events that led to this, it will invariably lead right to Nick's prom night.

Dec 12, 2012#66

bhamv3

Zappit said:
And if we track the chain of events that led to this, it will invariably lead right to Nick's prom night.

Nick went to prom with a Na'vi?

Dec 12, 2012#67

Zappit

bhamv3 said:
Nick went to prom with a Na'vi?

Who says he didn't?

Dec 12, 2012#68

bhamv3

Zappit said:
Who says he didn't?

Well, to say he did would be a total abandonment of common sense.

... Just like Nick's prom night.

Dec 12, 2012#69

jwhouk

There is nothing that I can add to this thread that would be either true or constructive.

Except - congrats, Jay!

Dec 12, 2012#70

Hailey Knight

Congratulations, Jay! I can only imagine the vengeance plots you could hatch with a baby as a decoy.

Dec 13, 2012#71

Jay

Babies are a total chick magnet while going for a walk in the park... as a single father... of course.

Dec 13, 2012#72

Bones

which if as this thread has suggested, you are a 10 foot blue cat alien thing, I imagine you will be after your wife gives birth...

Dec 13, 2012#73

North_Ranger

This thread has gone into some weird places... and yet we haven't asked if he used his braid. Halforums, you disappoint me

Dec 13, 2012#74

Officer_Charon

The braid was taken as a given!

Congratulations mon ami! Best wishes for your incipient sproutling

Dec 13, 2012#75

LittleSin

I forgot to voice my congratulations.

You're going to have so much fun.

Dec 13, 2012#76

Officer_Charon

And lose sleep, and your social life is gonna get torpedoed, and your computer time will be greatly reduced...

And you're not gonna care a bit, most of the time.

Dec 13, 2012#77

Jay

But I'll get to do awesome stuff like this tho.

Dec 13, 2012#78

fade

Congratulations. I'm sure you'll love it. And hate it. Recommended reading here: Amazon product

(Chrome is eating my Amazon link to Go the F*k to Sleep)

There's actually an interesting story behind that picture. I'm friends with [the minor celebrity who took that] (and, no, not name-dropping here, just giving the reason I know this), and that's his kid. That picture was posted right when FB changed their photo policy so that mentioning someone made the photo appear in their timeline. Someone was mentioned, they shared it, etc, and it went viral. The guy wasn't very happy about the invasion of his daughter's privacy, but he was tickled to see that so many people liked it.

Dec 25, 2012#79

Jay

Welp.... just told my folks....

They WERE ECSTATIC!

What a great 2012 I've had.

Dec 25, 2012#80

Thread Necromancer

Jay, congrats.
Your child will be the most important experience you have in the world, and even when you are frustrated and upset, which you will be, you will always have that in mind.
Your parents, by the way, will forget you. They have done their job, for the reality is that raising children is not the greatest joy in the work, it is a duty, an obligation and a huge pain in the ass. But it is worth it. The reward comes when your children have children. Having grand children, apparently, is the greatest joy in the world. It is all the joy of a new bundle of joy, but you only have to deal with the icky parts if you choose to.
Watch out for the terrible twos, a very wise man once told me "Ah the terrible twos, what a wonderful stage that is not. They go into it before they are two and don't come out until their own children are two."

.... Thanks Dad for that wisdom. Jay, you only have 2 and probably about 7 months until you finally come out of the terrible twos. I will crack a beer with you when you do.

and again, congrats

Dec 25, 2012#81

Jay

Dec 25, 2012#82

Thread Necromancer

The important part is, congrats.

Dec 26, 2012#83

Bubble181

Congratulations on helping repopulate the planet after the big 21/12/12 scare! We need more babies to ensure society goes on when Earth gets destroyed!

Well, congrats, at least

Dec 28, 2012#84

Jay

"We require more vaginas!"

/Starcraft?

Dec 28, 2012#85

Timmus

Jay said:
"We require more vaginas!"

/Starcraft?

There's not enough mini hoo hoos

Jan 10, 2013#86

strawman

From http://www.elezea.com/2012/06/i-am-dad/

The dad I am

by Rian on 28 June 2012

A few months before my daughter was born I created a virtual list in my head called “The dad I want to be”. The list got constant attention as I added, edited, and deleted stuff while I waited in line somewhere or lay awake at night. It was a good list, and I was proud of it. And then, on the morning of my daughter’s birth, I lost the list.

At first there was just no time to look at it, so I put it in a brain compartment somewhere for safe keeping. One evening a few weeks later I looked for it, but I couldn’t find it. I searched around for a while, but then there was a dirty diaper, and, you know. One thing led to another.

Today, more than two years later, I still haven’t found that list. To be honest, I stopped looking for it a long time ago, because I realized something very important. I realized that it doesn’t matter how many idealistic, theoretical guidelines you come up with before you become a parent. Once your first child is born, you just become the dad you’ve always been inside. The one that most resembles a personality that’s been shaped by years of experiences and the people around you. Some are lucky — they’re natural parents who slip into the new role comfortably. Others have a harder time with the transition, and end up making weird and scary realizations about themselves. I’m part of the latter group.

Nothing is more humbling than the day-to-day experiences of being a parent. Nothing is more effective at shining a spotlight on all on’s flaws and shortcomings as a human being. But luckily that’s not the only side of the story. Parenting is also a fantastic catalyst for personal change.

Those of us who spend the first few months of parenting with a look of total bewilderment in our eyes learn to do things a little differently. Slowly and with painstaking effort, I started to chip away at all the things that were not “The dad I want to be”. I failed constantly, but then one day I had a small victory over my instincts. The small victories eventually turned into big ones, until one day I realized that I’d just made it through a tantrum and managed to put our daughter to sleep without becoming flustered or losing my cool. I celebrated with a mental high five, and then I got back in the game immediately, because becoming a better dad is not a journey with a neat ending.

I wish someone told me this before we had children, so I’m telling you this now. Throw out your preconceived ideas of what it means to be a dad. You’re already a dad, and ther’s nothing you can do about it at this point. But once your child is born, don’t beat yourself up when you discover that the dad you are is not exactly the dad you want to be. Instead, identify the things you don’t like, and fix them. One minuscule, frustrating, gratifying step at a time.

Jan 10, 2013#87

Jay

She's moving along, making appointments to the right doctors, no nausea, no problems so far.

What annoys me most though?

When she goes REPEATEDLY goes... "You know..... pregnant women tend to feel this".... "tend to eat this"... "tend to feel".... UGH

Jan 10, 2013#88

HCGLNS

Congratulations! May you have an ordinary pregnancy.

Jan 10, 2013#89

strawman

You know... pregnant women are freaking out internally and research endlessly about their condition and progress and have to talk about it.

You probably already have this, but if not I highly recommend The Expectant Father

http://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789210770

Which not only covers what she's going through, but helps you understand that there are a ton of things you're going through that society often ignores or glosses over as new father. I found it great my first time.

Jan 10, 2013#90

Jay

I'm Canadian.

Jan 10, 2013#91

Ravenpoe

Jay said:
I'm Canadian.

Well then you want "The Expectant Father, Eh?"

Jan 11, 2013#92

Calleja

Wow, Jay's too rude to be Canadian.

Jan 11, 2013#93

strawman

Ravenpoe said:
Well then you want "The Expectant Father, Eh?"

"The Expectant Hoser"

Jan 11, 2013#94

Jay

Calleja said:
Wow, Jay's too rude to be Canadian.

Dear Taquito,

I'm sorry.

Jay

Jan 14, 2013#95

PatrThom

stienman said:
"The Expectant Hoser"

More like, "What to Expect When You're a Hoser."

--Patrick

Jan 14, 2013#96

WasabiPoptart

PatrThom said:
More like, "What to Expect When You're a Hoser."

--Patrick

Or in Jay's case it might be "Ce Qui Vous Attend Si Vous Attendez Un Enfan."

Jan 14, 2013#97

PatrThom

WasabiPoptart said:
Or in Jay's case it might be "Ce Qui Vous Attend Si Vous Assemblez Un Enfan."

--Patrick

Jan 23, 2013#98

Jay

So our first appointment was at the doctor's today... it's been 11 weeks or so in her pregnancy.

We're really nervous, have a lot of questions needing answers the last few days. OCD people that we are, we have everything written down on 3 pages of questions.

We get there, we got the nicest nurse ever and they do their gyno exam and checkup and everything seems fine.

They said in the books that the baby should have a heartbeat by now but the test might not be conclusive, I push to attempt to hear it anyways...

She checks and she finds it..

MY BABY'S HEARTBEAT

MY BALLS CREATED LIFE MAN

MAGICAL MISSILE FTW

. I was like...

She was like

And then we proceeded to book half a dozen other appointments.

Me right now

I'm fucking bro fisting anything pleasing.

Jan 23, 2013#99

PatrThom

I was wondering when we'd see an update. Only 30wks to go!
Seriously, Jay. If you have anything that has to get done that absolutely needs to be done in one long go (room remodel, etc)? You'd better get it done by the end of July or else you ain't gettin' it done at all for the next 5 years.

--Patrick

Jan 23, 2013#100

Jay

I'm doing the backyard patio. Making it bigger and in cement. No time for wooden patios anymore.

Also, the first official HF SBBQ will be at my house this summer! Date pending!

Jan 23, 2013#101

Gusto

What does the S stand for.

Jan 23, 2013#102

WasabiPoptart

Jay said:
I was like...

View attachment 9881

Wait until the first ultrasound. I thought the heartbeat was neat, but the first ultrasound, in both pregnancies, brought me to tears.

Jan 23, 2013#103

Gilgamesh

Weren't you the one giving people shit all the time for having kids and how awesome it was to do anything you pleased because you didn't?

Jan 23, 2013#104

LittleKagsin

Gilgamesh said:
Weren't you the one giving people shit all the time for having kids and how awesome it was to do anything you pleased because you didn't?

Actually, that would probably be me.

I keed I keed, I would never tease people about having kids - it's great for most people! (It's just not for me..

)

Jan 23, 2013#105

Azurephoenix

Jay said:
I'm doing the backyard patio. Making it bigger and in cement. No time for wooden patios anymore.

Also, the first official HF SBBQ will be at my house this summer! Date pending!

Damn it... I wanna be there!

Jan 23, 2013#106

sixpackshaker

Jan 23, 2013#107

Jay

S stands for SUPER, yes.

Jan 23, 2013#108

SpecialKO

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned yet in this thread, but after watching my best bud and his wife through the process (due the first week of Feb!), I would start booking pregnancy classes and daycare options right now. Depending on your locality, it can get super competitive to get into the good ones.

Jan 23, 2013#109

Jay

Thanks for the advice.

We fully plan to do so once she hits 5 months. So basically once we get back from vaca in mid-March.

Jan 23, 2013#110

Gusto

The Wee Baby Seamus.

Jan 23, 2013#111

SpecialKO

Jay said:
Thanks for the advice.

We fully plan to do so once she hits 5 months. So basically once we get back from vaca in mid-March.

I would put some feelers out before if you can. They started around then, and found themselves behind everyone in the same baby generation.

Jan 23, 2013#112

Calleja

My baby generation wasn't very competitive. They were a bunch of cry babies, to be honest. Most of 'em crapped their pants.

Jan 23, 2013#113

strawman

Just get prepared for the wild late nights you'll be spending with your baby.

Jan 23, 2013#114

North_Ranger

Azurephoenix said:
Damn it... I wanna be there!

You and me both.

Jan 24, 2013#115

strawman

Jan 24, 2013#116

North_Ranger

Just a heads-up, if you please... I recently re-watched Penn & Teller's Bullshit. So if you start seriously considering something like dolphin-assisted birth, I will deputize the nearest available forumite to smack everybody involved until the stupid bleeds out of your ears.

Including the goddang dolphin.

Carry on

Jan 24, 2013#117

strawman

Dolphin: NO air until you have the BABY.

Woman: ... ploop!

Dolphin: Works every time.

Jan 24, 2013#118

North_Ranger

More like "Hey, is that a shark? You're on your own, two-feet. Bye!"

Jan 24, 2013#119

Officer_Charon

Wait until you find out the gender. That's what hit me, even harder than the heartbeat.

Congratulations man, and definitely finish up the major projects now. Do yourself a favor too... start stocking up on diapers and wipes now - diapers in the smaller sizes won't be so much of an issue, but you can NEVER have too many wipes.

They feel good on the nether regions...

Jan 24, 2013#120

Azurephoenix

You can never have enough sleepers and diaper shirts either.

Jan 24, 2013#121

Officer_Charon

Eh... for when our next comes, we're going to only do a handful of clothes (say up to 8 sleepers/rompers) for the first 6 months or so... Rhiannon grew too fast to stay in clothes appropriate to her age range for long. *grins*

Jan 24, 2013#122

WasabiPoptart

Yeah but when they have explosive diapers it's nice to have a bunch of clothes you can change them in and out of. With my daughter I had a few times where the mess was so bad that I just threw her sleeper in the garbage.

Jan 25, 2013#123

sixpackshaker

WasabiPoptart said:
Yeah but when they have explosive diapers it's nice to have a bunch of clothes you can change them in and out of. With my daughter I had a few times where the mess was so bad that I just threw her sleeper in the garbage.

When my nephew "failed" at potty training in his underoos, my sister in law just tossed them. "I am NOT touching that." Those undies cost less than a dollar...

Jan 25, 2013#124

fade

Make friends with someone who has a slightly older kid born in the same season. We haven't bought clothes for my daughter for years. Then you can pass them down the line, too.

Jan 25, 2013#125

Gilgamesh

fade said:
Make friends with someone who has a slightly older kid born in the same season. We haven't bought clothes for my daughter for years. Then you can pass them down the line, too.

I'm pretty sure my sister in law did this on purpose. Her oldest daughter in 3yrs younger than mine and she just had another girl.

Jan 25, 2013#126

Hailey Knight

People need to stop feeding their kids Taco Bell.

Jan 25, 2013#127

Gilgamesh

Quotemander Prime said:
People need to stop feeding their kids Taco Bell.

It's no worse than any other fast food, and when you don't try to compare it to Mexican food, it's pretty good in its own right. I know I'm guilty of getting my kids a 12 taco pack from them when we're headed home from a long day.

Jan 26, 2013#128

Hailey Knight

Gilgamesh said:
It's no worse than any other fast food, and when you don't try to compare it to Mexican food, it's pretty good in its own right. I know I'm guilty of getting my kids a 12 taco pack from them when we're headed home from a long day.

I was referring really to the explosive diaper situation. I should've quoted people.

Jan 26, 2013#129

Gilgamesh

Quotemander Prime said:
I was referring really to the explosive diaper situation. I should've quoted people.

Oh god, I can't imagine feeding Taco Bell to a toddler... just no way.

Also I think people having bathroom issues after Taco Bell are either going to really shady Taco Bells or mixing too many different foods there or are microwaving leftovers.

Jan 26, 2013#130

Hailey Knight

Gilgamesh said:
Oh god, I can't imagine feeding Taco Bell to a toddler... just no way.

Also I think people having bathroom issues after Taco Bell are either going to really shady Taco Bells or mixing too many different foods there or are microwaving leftovers.

The restaurant never seemed shady to me. All I know is my own horror. I last ate Taco Bell from one in Indiana over five years ago. I mixed nothing nor did I microwave leftovers, because after what it did to me the following day, I had no desire to touch the stuff again.

That I still remember it in detail, and even the date (January 15, 2007) should give you some idea of how horrible it was, that it is etched into my mind. When I'm a senile old man fifty years from now and have forgotten the names of my friends and the plot to Chrono Trigger, I will still be telling the nurse about that post-Taco Bell ordeal as she slides the pillow over my face to end my suffering of reliving it.

Jan 26, 2013#131

Gilgamesh

Quotemander Prime said:
The restaurant never seemed shady to me. All I know is my own horror. I last ate Taco Bell from one in Indiana over five years ago. I mixed nothing nor did I microwave leftovers, because after what it did to me the following day, I had no desire to touch the stuff again.

That I still remember it in detail, and even the date (January 15, 2007) should give you some idea of how horrible it was, that it is etched into my mind. When I'm a senile old man fifty years from now and have forgotten the names of my friends and the plot to Chrono Trigger, I will still be telling the nurse about that post-Taco Bell ordeal as she slides the pillow over my face to end my suffering of reliving it.

Does that by any chance coincide with that recall they did on chives or the tomato recall that caused some food poisoining a while back?

Jan 26, 2013#132

CrimsonSoul

For the record taco bell is the most authentic Mexican food you can get. It gets the job done for half the price. What can be more Mexican than that?

Jan 26, 2013#133

Gilgamesh

CrimsonSoul said:
For the record taco bell is the most authentic Mexican food you can get. It gets the job done for half the price. What can be more Mexican than that?

Jan 26, 2013#134

Calleja

CrimsonSoul said:
For the record taco bell is the most authentic Mexican food you can get. It gets the job done for half the price. What can be more Mexican than that?

Jan 26, 2013#135

General Specific

Calleja said:

Mar 20, 2013#136

Jay

Sorry for the lack of news.

We went for some tests last month, everything seems fine.

We're going in tomorrow for her exam, she's 19 weeks preggers and we are "likely" to find out the sex of the baby tomorrow.

I cannot help but find this moment and time to be FULL OF DRAMA because, we're going to find out... AND SOON

OMMMMG

Mar 21, 2013#137

Jay

Just got back from the hospital... welp.

It's a GIRL!

Welp...99% sure

Mar 21, 2013#138

Azurephoenix

Congratulations Jay!

Mar 21, 2013#139

Hylian

Many congratulations

Mar 21, 2013#140

Dave

You poor bastard.

Mar 21, 2013#141

CrimsonSoul

Dave said:
You poor bastard.

I have a 9 year old. She's already a drama queen lol

Mar 21, 2013#142

strawman

I AM OFFICIALLY JEALOUS.

I'd trade you my newborn boy for your girl, but he's already an outsourced baby (I'm raising him for LittleKagsin ) so it would probably be in poor taste for me to trade.

But!

I can make another. What do you think? You've always wanted a boy, right? Or do you want a more mature model, perhaps one that comes Pre-potty-trained?

Lets make a deal!

Mar 21, 2013#143

Jay

I'd like to have one of each but ultimately all I care is that they're healthy babies.

As for other people's children, no gracias.

Mar 21, 2013#144

LittleKagsin

stienman said:
I AM OFFICIALLY JEALOUS.

I'd trade you my newborn boy for your girl, but he's already an outsourced baby (I'm raising him for LittleKagsin ) so it would probably be in poor taste for me to trade.

Hey now! You promised me he would be raised in a loving, happy, nerdy home. You're supposed to love him as your own!

Mar 21, 2013#145

strawman

LittleKagsin said:
Hey now! You promised me he would be raised in a loving, happy, nerdy home. You're supposed to love him as your own!

Oh, fine, fine.

Sigh.

Next time, though, you need to outsource a female baby to me, ok?

Mar 21, 2013#146

Azurephoenix

stienman said:
Or do you want a more mature model, perhaps one that comes Pre-potty-trained?

I dunno Jay... this isn't actually a half bad offer

Mar 21, 2013#147

Jay

stienman said:
Next time LittleKagsin, you need to outsource a female baby to me, ok?

Mar 21, 2013#148

LittleKagsin

stienman said:
Oh, fine, fine.

Sigh.

Next time, though, you need to outsource a female baby to me, ok?

Next time for sure! Sorry, I've just always wanted a boy first, but that's out of the way now, so GirlBaby is next.

Mar 21, 2013#149

ThatNickGuy

I dunno, Jay. That looks like a boy to me. And WHAT a boy!

...no, wait, sorry. Nevermind, that's a leg.

Mar 21, 2013#150

CrimsonSoul

Jay said:
Just got back from the hospital... welp.

View attachment 10521

It's a GIRL!

Welp...99% sure

This isn't the not so funny pic thread, why is this here?

Mar 21, 2013#151

Jay

CrimsonSoul said:
This isn't the not so funny pic thread, why is this here?

Mar 21, 2013#152

strawman

Azurephoenix said:
I dunno Jay... this isn't actually a half bad offer

I know, right?

Mar 21, 2013#153

bhamv3

Jay, can I date your daughter?

Mar 21, 2013#154

Jay

Maybe if you're rich and you're still around in 2043.

Mar 21, 2013#155

Ravenpoe

Aww yeah, let's start the countdown to when Jay's daughter is 18!

Mar 21, 2013#156

Gilgamesh

Mar 21, 2013#157

Hailey Knight

Ravenpoe said:
Aww yeah, let's start the countdown to when Jay's daughter is 18!

EDIT: Ninja'd by Gilg.

Mar 21, 2013#158

Ravenpoe

Quotemander Prime said:
EDIT: Ninja'd by Gilg.

I'm sure she's a very mature fetus.

Mar 22, 2013#159

Chad Sexington

Ravenpoe said:
I'm sure she's a very mature fetus.

ICARUS MEME, I SUMMON THEE

Mar 22, 2013#160

Ravenpoe

Chad Sexington said:
ICARUS MEME, I SUMMON THEE

Mar 22, 2013#161

North_Ranger

Ah, the joys of having a daughter.

With a boy, you only have to worry about one penis and where he sticks it.

With a girl, you have to worry about every penis in the world.

Seriously though, many congratulations, you Woody-image-tossing thingamabob, you...

Mar 22, 2013#162

Jay

Mar 22, 2013#163

North_Ranger

Yeah, you also gotta warn her about Will Ferrell.

Mar 22, 2013#164

Gusto

Everyone in my life seems to be having sons.

Mar 22, 2013#165

PatrThom

Gusto said:
Everyone in my life seems to be having sons.

Wait for it...

--Patrick

Mar 23, 2013#166

Shawn

Congrats, Jay!

Every time I hold my daughter I get to remind myself "I brought this little lady into the world." and it's just an uplifting feeling every time.

Jun 13, 2013#167

Jay

Welp... officially 8 months.

Off to the hospital for the 3rd ultrasound in 2 weeks.

stienman said:
You know... pregnant women are freaking out internally and research endlessly about their condition and progress and have to talk about it.

You probably already have this, but if not I highly recommend The Expectant Father

http://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789210770

Which not only covers what she's going through, but helps you understand that there are a ton of things you're going through that society often ignores or glosses over as new father. I found it great my first time.

Been reading this book over the months. It's solid and informative. I like it so much I bought the 1st year book as well.

I promise more updates if I get enough... Brofists.

BROFISTS FOR UPDATES

Jun 13, 2013#168

Hylian

Jun 13, 2013#169

bhamv3

bhamv3 said:
Jay, can I date your daughter?

Jay came back after over a year to "disagree" with this post of mine.

Jun 13, 2013#170

Ravenpoe

bhamv3 said:
Jay came back after over a year to "disagree" with this post of mine.

It's been 8 months.

Jun 13, 2013#171

bhamv3

Ravenpoe said:
It's been 8 months.

Did I say a year? I meant three months. Yeah, three months.

Someone must have hacked my account. That musta been it.

Jun 13, 2013#172

Jay

I thought about it.

Then I said, no.

I'm DADD.

Jun 13, 2013#173

Bones

Dad Against Drunk Dating?

Jun 13, 2013#174

Cheesy1

Dads Against Daughters Dating

Jun 14, 2013#175

Bubble181

Cheesy1 said:
Dads Against Daughters Dating

Isn't that pretty much every dad? I don't even have kids, but I'm already thinking that if I ever have a daughter, she'll be locked in a convent from 11 'till 45 if I can do anything about it*.

*I'm well aware that I won't be able to do anything about it

Jun 14, 2013#176

ThatNickGuy

Remember guys, Jay's a damn Frenchie.

Which means he'll hold up his daughter in a castle, throw cows at prospective daters, and taunt them from above.

Jun 14, 2013#177

Ravenpoe

I kinda want Charlie in here to talk about the patriarchy and fathers controlling daughters.

Apparently I'm that kid in middle school that tries to get the "fight fight fight!" chant started every time.

Jun 14, 2013#178

Bubble181

Ravenpoe said:
I kinda want Charlie in here to talk about the patriarchy and fathers controlling daughters.

Apparently I'm that kid in middle school that tries to get the "fight fight fight!" chant started every time.

the only reason we need to lock up our daughters is because men are uncontrollable beasts, slave to their lust, while the girls are clueless and incapable of standing up for themselves or defend themselves.
Alternatively, we need to lock up our daughters because otherwise they'll clearly become wanton harlots bedding with the least suitable partner, since they lack any self control.
I'm not quite sure which one's more offensive, so take your pick :troll:

Jun 14, 2013#179

Gilgamesh

You want patriarchy controlling daughters? Let's see. My daughter is going on the 5yr birth control the day after she gets her first period. She asks when she's allowed to have a boyfriend, our response is when she's responsible enough (which won't be anytime soon since she's in Middle School) and we already have her applied to attend an all girl's high school in our school district.

Mad yet Charlie? Nah. My wife was the one who came up with the majority of the plans

Jun 14, 2013#180

Gusto

8 months deep? Maybe Jay's daughter will have the same birthday as me.

Jun 17, 2013#181

Jay

Baby Room Time! Phase 1!

Jun 17, 2013#182

Ravenpoe

Gilgamesh said:
You want patriarchy controlling daughters? Let's see. My daughter is going on the 5yr birth control the day after she gets her first period. She asks when she's allowed to have a boyfriend, our response is when she's responsible enough (which won't be anytime soon since she's in Middle School) and we already have her applied to attend an all girl's high school in our school district.

Mad yet Charlie? Nah. My wife was the one who came up with the majority of the plans

I knew girls like that growing up... I don't know if you want to know how that story ends.

Jun 17, 2013#183

Dei

Being a giant geek in high school, most of my friends that I hung out with on a regular basis were guys. I would have HATED an all girls school... Which would have also been a Catholic school so ugh.

Jun 17, 2013#184

Gilgamesh

Ravenpoe said:
I knew girls like that growing up... I don't know if you want to know how that story ends.

How her story ends up will be up to her. As long as she graduates High School without being knocked up, it'll be considered a win in my book.

Jun 17, 2013#185

Cheesy1

Jun 17, 2013#186

PatrThom

All I see is a pink room with a ceiling that is too short.

--Patrick

Jun 17, 2013#187

Jay

Cheesy1 said:

This man is a prophet.[DOUBLEPOST=1371516359][/DOUBLEPOST]

PatrThom said:
All I see is a pink room with a ceiling that is too short.

--Patrick

YES

Jun 18, 2013#188

blotsfan

Gilgamesh said:
You want patriarchy controlling daughters? Let's see. My daughter is going on the 5yr birth control the day after she gets her first period. She asks when she's allowed to have a boyfriend, our response is when she's responsible enough (which won't be anytime soon since she's in Middle School) and we already have her applied to attend an all girl's high school in our school district.

Mad yet Charlie? Nah. My wife was the one who came up with the majority of the plans

Not to say I know anything about your daughter, but that high school plan might backfire. The girls
from the all girls schools had the reputation of being the biggest sluts.

Jun 18, 2013#189

Gilgamesh

blotsfan said:
Not to say I know anything about your daughter, but that high school plan might backfire. The girls
from the all girls schools had the reputation of being the biggest sluts.

Be interesting to see how she's able to be a slut when she goes directly from home to school back to home.

Jun 18, 2013#190

Jay

No one likes the baby room.

Jun 18, 2013#191

bhamv3

Gilgamesh said:
Be interesting to see how she's able to be a slut when she goes directly from home to school back to home.

Well, you know, there's always the school bus.

Jun 18, 2013#192

Gilgamesh

bhamv3 said:
Well, you know, there's always the school bus.

We drive our kids to school to and from.

Jun 18, 2013#193

ThatNickGuy

Jay said:
No one likes the baby room.

View attachment 11175

Admit it. It's the Milhouse of baby rooms.

Jun 18, 2013#194

Jay

What does THAT MEAN?

Also.... furniture is due on Saturday! YEYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jun 18, 2013#195

bhamv3

Gilgamesh said:
We drive our kids to school to and from.

I got nuthin then. Unless there are shennanigans in the backseat, but it sounds like you'd have a full sensor array there, measuring sound, heat, humidity, and pheromone levels.

Jun 18, 2013#196

strawman

Jay said:
No one likes the baby room.

View attachment 11175

Girls rooms are a myth.

Or so says my experience.

Jun 18, 2013#197

Hailey Knight

Do you guys need to use Jay's happy thread to jab against helicopter parenting or could it maybe be taken elsewhere?

Jun 18, 2013#198

Dei

I hope to god you are exaggerating and are not *that* strict.

Jun 18, 2013#199

ThatNickGuy

Dei said:
I hope to god you are exaggerating and are not *that* strict.

Oh, it's worse than you think.

Jun 18, 2013#200

Jay

Not accurate, no tuque and no signs of poutine anywhere.

Jun 18, 2013#201

Gilgamesh

Dei said:
I hope to god you are exaggerating and are not *that* strict.

How strict? Sending her to a girl's school and there being no public transporation so we are her -to and from- school is horrendously strict?

Quotemander Prime said:
Do you guys need to use Jay's happy thread to jab against helicopter parenting or could it maybe be taken elsewhere?

Where did you get that impression?

Jun 18, 2013#202

Dei

You are making it sound like you are being crazy just by virtue of upping the ante everytime someone makes a dumb comment about stereotypes in girl's schools, is all. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt that you don't mean it that way.

Jun 18, 2013#203

Hailey Knight

Gilgamesh said:
Where did you get that impression?

Some comments are looking for this to be the "tell Gilg how to raise his kids" thread. I think people should take it elsewhere, but since then I see that's gonna be a losing battle. Sorry, Jay, maybe people will pay attention to stuff about your child once she's born. You did a good job pinking the pink onto that room. I don't have the patience to paint a room properly, so I can admire a job well done on that front.

Back to arguing, people!

Jun 18, 2013#204

Jay

Quotemander Prime said:
Some comments are looking for this to be the "tell Gilg how to raise his kids" thread. I think people should take it elsewhere, but since then I see that's gonna be a losing battle. Sorry, Jay, maybe people will pay attention to stuff about your child once she's born. You did a good job pinking the pink onto that room. I don't have the patience to paint a room properly, so I can admire a job well done on that front.

Back to arguing, people!

I appreciate your kind comments Darrylz.

Jun 18, 2013#205

Espy

Oh if we are telling Jay how to raise girls then all I can say is GOOD FREAKING LUCK BUDDY.

I've never been so whipped in my life.

Jun 18, 2013#206

Dei

Your wife and daughter will fight over really dumb shit. This will happen long before her teenage years. Be prepared to buy a helmet and duck and cover.

Jun 19, 2013#207

Bubble181

I was assuming we were still just joking around; I certainly didn't mean my post seriously

That said, my father-in-law-to-be-or-something raised 4 daughters, 2 female dogs, a female horse, a herd of goats and a bunch of chickens - I have no idea how he managed, as I get a headache after a few hours there, with all the women. But they seem to have turned out okay

As for the room, on the one hand, I think it looks really nice - it's wel-painted, light enough, and so on. On the other hand, I have a personal distaste for the whole "pink for girls, blue for boys" thing. Not only because it was the other way around until about 50 years ago, but also because it's that sort of thing that implants notions in children's heads. I think it was Mike from Penny Arcade (though I'm too lazy to go look it up) who remarked recently that his boy loved pink as a color, and would wear pink, play pink characters in games, and so on - until he got to school, got ridiculed, and suddenly pink is gay he doesn't like it, he likes green! Obviously!
I just think that's sad, and it'll be at least a whole other generation before that sort of silly prejudice is gone.
Which, of course, isn't your fault, Jay

Room looks great.

Jun 19, 2013#208

Dei

I'm more or less in love with the light fixture.

Jun 19, 2013#209

Jay

Bubble181 said:
I think it was Mike from Penny Arcade (though I'm too lazy to go look it up) who remarked recently that his boy loved pink as a color, and would wear pink, play pink characters in games, and so on - until he got to school, got ridiculed, and suddenly pink is gay he doesn't like it, he likes green! Obviously! I just think that's sad, and it'll be at least a whole other generation before that sort of silly prejudice is gone.

Which, of course, isn't your fault, Jay Room looks great.

I think the pink is far more for us than anything else. Once Leyla is going to be of a certain age able to make logical decisions, we'll see.

Thanks. It'll look even better after Saturday once I get the furniture (PHASE 2!). Maybe I'll post them if I get enough Brofists....

Dei said:
I'm more or less in love with the light fixture.

It's a pretty little thing. Couldn't find shit in Montreal. Had to order it online from California. It wasn't cheap.

Jun 19, 2013#210

Officer_Charon

The room looks like a layer cake. Which is not always a bad thing

Jun 19, 2013#211

PatrThom

Dei said:
I'm more or less in love with the light fixture.

You should see the one we got for our bedroom.

--Patrick

Jun 19, 2013#212

Cheesy1

PatrThom said:
You should see the one we got for our bedroom.

--Patrick

Just because a mirror and disco ball reflect light, that doesn't make them "light fixtures."

Jun 19, 2013#213

PatrThom

Oh, don't worry. I'll post pictures once I get home.

--Patrick

Jun 19, 2013#214

Hailey Knight

Dei said:
Your wife and daughter will fight over really dumb shit. This will happen long before her teenage years. Be prepared to buy a helmet and duck and cover.

I used to think this was just a thing between my mom and sister. Nope. My cousin and one of her moms fight over everything, and it's been like that for the last eight years. She just turned 11.

Jun 19, 2013#215

Gilgamesh

Quotemander Prime said:
I used to think this was just a thing between my mom and sister. Nope. My cousin and one of her moms fight over everything, and it's been like that for the last eight years. She just turned 11.

Weird, my wife and daughter get along famously. My daughter turns 12 this year.

Jun 19, 2013#216

Officer_Charon

Gilgamesh said:
Weird, my wife and daughter get along famously. My daughter turns 12 this year.

She's just being strategic about it...

Jun 19, 2013#217

Dei

It's not a matter of how well they get along. At some point, all mothers and daughters will fight about something inane. My husband used to think it was just me and my mom until his little sister hit her mid-teens.

Jun 19, 2013#218

Gilgamesh

Dei said:
It's not a matter of how well they get along. At some point, all mothers and daughters will fight about something inane. My husband used to think it was just me and my mom until his little sister hit her mid-teens.

Don't all family members at some point, fight about something inane? I'm not following this -mothers and daughters fight- point because it doesn't happen here. Also in our house growing up, I had 3 sisters, and none of them fought with our mom either. If anything, I clashed with my mom more than anyone else.

Officer_Charon - Must be playing the long game eh?

Jun 19, 2013#219

Hailey Knight

Come to think of it, my ex and her two sisters didn't really fight with their mom. But they were raised in a Catholic household in southern California. It was different to say the least.

Jun 19, 2013#219

Officer_Charon

I never fought with my parents. Ever. I don't know if that says more about me or them, but there was simply never enough tension for me to feel like fighting with them.

My sister, on the other hand.... *winces*

Jun 20, 2013#219

CrimsonSoul

Officer_Charon said:
I never fought with my parents. Ever. I don't know if that says more about me or them, but there was simply never enough tension for me to feel like fighting with them.

My sister, on the other hand.... *winces*

Same here lol with the exception of one of my mom's boyfriends he turned out to be a psycho anyway. The calling over 100 times an hour because you don't pick up kind and the police said they couldn't so anything about it

Jun 20, 2013#219

CrimsonSoul

Ok so... I'm sorry for the triple post there's an error with tapatalk I guess.

Jun 20, 2013#219

blotsfan

Gilgamesh said:
Don't all family members at some point, fight about something inane? I'm not following this -mothers and daughters fight- point because it doesn't happen here. Also in our house growing up, I had 3 sisters, and none of them fought with our mom either. If anything, I clashed with my mom more than anyone else.

Dude come on. Theres been anecdotal evidence. That means it applies 100% of the time to all situations. Get your head in the game.

Jun 20, 2013#219

Officer_Charon

Also, therapy

Jun 20, 2013#220

Jay

...my thread. :Leyla:

Jun 20, 2013#221

Cajungal

You only thought this was a thread about one of the most important milestones of your life.

Jun 20, 2013#222

Bubble181

Jay said:
...my thread.

To be fair, you went and posted a thread named "it has begun", with a video of a kid's room slowly opening. I was all thinking "ohh, he's going to walk through with a baby...." but noooo. You deserve this derail, sneaky

Jun 20, 2013#223

strawman

I know, I was expecting a labor story, and all I got was snake.

Jun 21, 2013#224

ThatNickGuy

Jay said:
...my thread.

Ba-dup-bup-bada-bup! HALFORUMS!

*Jazz hands*

Jun 25, 2013#225

Jay

Awkward moment of the day.

Waiting for our turn at the hospital for 3rd ultrasound while sitting in front of a very fat ex-girlfriend you dumped 15 years ago.

Jun 25, 2013#226

blotsfan

Jay said:
Best moment of the day.

Waiting for our turn at the hospital for 3rd ultrasound while sitting in front of a very fat ex-girlfriend you dumped 15 years ago.

Fixed.

You know, assuming you don't put too much stock in your wife's and baby's health blah blah blah

Jun 25, 2013#227

Frank

Jay loves em chubby (present marriage excluded).

Jun 25, 2013#228

Jay

Girlfriend is a wrong term. She was a friend with benefits back in 1999 for about a month before she complicated things. Also, I was a douchbag back then.

She was skinny and gorgeous back then but after most Italian women, when they hit their 30ies they expand sideways.

She expanded linebacker style. This was more than expected.

Jun 25, 2013#229

Gilgamesh

Jay said:
Girlfriend is a wrong term. She was a friend with benefits back in 1999 for about a month before she complicated things. Also, I was a douchbag back then.

She was skinny and gorgeous back then but after most Italian and Hispanic women, when they hit their 30ies they expand sideways.

She expanded linebacker style. This was more than expected.

FTFY. Oh and my ex wife, who blamed me for her weight gain when we were married and claimed that she was going to fix it all once she divorced me is nearly 3x the sizenow then she was when we got married.

Jul 14, 2013#230

Jay

Just brought my wife to her surprise baby shower this morning.

Jul 14, 2013#231

PatrThom

How did she take the news that she's pregnant?
Or was that not the surprise?

--Patrick

Jul 15, 2013#232

Jay

Ah Pat, you funny guy.

Today is officially the home stretch. 1 month left.

Expect more updates and some pictures.

But only if this post gets 10 Brofists!

Jul 15, 2013#233

strawman

Jay, you know that those facebook posts where one person will give another person something if they get enough likes require a picture of you holding a handwritten sign giving the promise.

Jul 15, 2013#234

Jay

This can be arranged... soon.

But this requires 5 Brofists.

Jul 15, 2013#235

Officer_Charon

I know he's whoring..... so why do I keep clicking "Brofist?"

Jul 15, 2013#236

Emrys

Cause you're an enabler?

Jul 15, 2013#237

strawman

Oh come on, this isn't hard. Like this:

Jul 15, 2013#238

Shakey

stienman said:
Oh come on, this isn't hard. Like this:

I know someone has been amassing an army of alts. It's time to bust them out and make it happen.

Jul 15, 2013#239

sixpackshaker

He's trying to amass enough bro fists to send his girl to college.

Jul 15, 2013#240

ThatNickGuy

Just think, Jay. If the baby arrives right on time (which is unlikely from what I know of births), you'll only have...what? Two weeks to play the new Shadow Run? 'Cause I guarantee you ain't gonna have time to play after!

Jul 15, 2013#241

Jay

stienman said:
Oh come on, this isn't hard. Like this:

Jul 15, 2013#242

strawman

Jay said:
View attachment 11378

Jul 15, 2013#243

Officer_Charon

Steiny's working on those ol' college funds...

Jul 15, 2013#244

Jay

Room updates.

Jul 15, 2013#245

strawman

You both must be getting suuuper excited...

Jul 15, 2013#246

Jay

We definitely are.

The last few months we've been closer than ever.

Best times in our lives.

Jul 15, 2013#247

CrimsonSoul

Jay said:
We definitely are.

The last few months we've been closer than ever.

Best times in our lives.

Congrats. It's a boy!

Jul 15, 2013#248

Bones

Jul 16, 2013#249

PatrThom

Now all you need is a lullaby chair and a baby gate and you'll be all set.

--Patrick

Jul 16, 2013#250

Bubble181

And a big banner saying "Welcome home, Halforum"

Jul 16, 2013#251

Jay

PatrThom said:
Now all you need is a lullaby chair and a baby gate and you'll be all set.

--Patrick

Baby gate?

We're planning to buy a rocking chair this week but are still waiting for the crib sheets to come in... any day now...

Jul 16, 2013#252

Azurephoenix

My wife loves your baby room... and she's also insanely jealous now because she wants a baby girl so bad (we have two sons).

Looks great Jay.

Jul 16, 2013#253

sixpackshaker

You know raising a kid in a totally pink environment will turn her Goth by time she is 12...

Jul 16, 2013#254

Chad Sexington

sixpackshaker said:
You know raising a kid in a totally pink environment will turn her Goth by time she is 12...

Wait is that supposed to be bad?

Jul 16, 2013#255

sixpackshaker

Chad Sexington said:
Wait is that supposed to be bad?

There's a difference in dating a Goth and rearing one.

Jul 16, 2013#256

Jay

If she ever really wants to change the colors to the walls, I'd be more than happy to change it.

It's only for the first few years anyways.

Jul 16, 2013#257

PatrThom

Jay said:
Baby gate?

Baby gate. Keeps your kid from becoming a slinky or getting into things she shouldn't.
Also, lullaby chair/swing.

Also, I don't know how it is over there, but here you are not permitted to take your child home from the hospital if you don't have an approved, unexpired car seat*.

--Patrick
*I am endorsing this specific model for its ease of getting it in and out of the car as well as its features.

Jul 16, 2013#258

Jay

Oh yeah, we plan to have a baby gate but the baby won't really need it for months, so no rush.

As for the swing, we got a Mamaroo. It's awesome. Obviously, a lot of stuff are in the closet, can't show them all yet.

Jul 16, 2013#259

ThatNickGuy

Is Babygate like Watergate?

Jul 16, 2013#260

Chad Sexington

ThatNickGuy said:
Is Babygate like Watergate?

No, babies can't be silent for 18 minutes.

Jul 16, 2013#261

Jay

A few pictures of the Baby Shower... slightly altered of course.

Jul 16, 2013#262

Emrys

What alterations did you make?

Jul 16, 2013#263

Gilgamesh

Jay haven't you posted full pictures of your wife before? Ala the Halloween/Wedding threads?

Jul 16, 2013#264

North_Ranger

The necessary ones to protect the innocent.

Jul 16, 2013#265

strawman

Emrys said:
What alterations did you make?

He photoshopped all the wrapping paper trash off the floor, and removed the wrinkles in her shirt that suggested she might be wearing bras that fit just fine before becoming pregnant but are now are a bit more snug.

Jul 16, 2013#266

Chad Sexington

stienman said:
He photoshopped all the wrapping paper trash off the floor, and removed the wrinkles in her shirt that suggested she might be wearing bras that fit just fine before becoming pregnant but are now are a bit more snug.

Good eye. I can never do those like "Six things are different in these two image" games, and you didn't have a comparison to know what was done. Are you just like... a master photoshop-spotter?

Jul 16, 2013#267

strawman

ive seen alot of photoshops in my day and i can tell cause the pixels and stuff.[DOUBLEPOST=1374009905][/DOUBLEPOST]And lest anyone get the wrong idea, I'm joking folks!

BTW Jay, you two are adorable and will obviously have a very, very cute baby.

Jul 16, 2013#268

Jay

Gilgamesh said:
Jay haven't you posted full pictures of your wife before? Ala the Halloween/Wedding threads?

full frontal?

Jul 16, 2013#269

Gilgamesh

Jay said:
full frontal?

Yep.

https://www.halforums.com/threads/got-married.26303/page-6

Aug 2, 2013#270

Jay

Less than 2 weeks...

Aug 3, 2013#271

Shawn

At the sound of the cry, your life as you know it will change drastically.

Aug 3, 2013#272

Hailey Knight

I thought he covered his wife's face in that pic because she wasn't smiling and he wanted it to be a smiley happy picture.

Aug 5, 2013#273

Officer_Charon

Just wait son... I know I've said it before, but the first second that she comes out crying, you'll immediately feel a change... and the first time she grabs your finger... just forget about paying attention to anything else in the world. Nothing else will exist but that little hand with the tiny fingers.

Aug 5, 2013#274

strawman

Shawnacy said:
At the sound of the cry, your life as you know it will change drastically.

Officer_Charon said:
the first second that she comes out crying, you'll immediately feel a change...

Not everyone feels that way at that time. I think my first time it took a few days to settle in.

Feel free to ask loudly right after delivery, "So, can this extra finger be removed, or what?"

Make sure you're out of reach of your wife when you do so.

Aug 5, 2013#275

North_Ranger

stienman said:
Not everyone feels that way at that time. I think my first time it took a few days to settle in.

Feel free to ask loudly right after delivery, "So, can this extra finger be removed, or what?"

Make sure you're out of reach of your wife when you do so.

Dude, it's a little different for you. For Jay, it's a moment of life-changing proportions that he'll never forget.

For you, it's Thursday

Aug 5, 2013#276

Dei

I went down to the basement today to go through my daughter's old baby clothes to give to a friend. I totally went overboard when she was a baby. Maybe. Definitely.

Aug 5, 2013#277

ThatNickGuy

Dei said:
I went down to the basement today to go through my daughter's old baby clothes to give to a friend. I totally went overboard when she was a baby. Maybe. Definitely.

Said every parent ever.

Aug 12, 2013#278

Jay

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1376299516.486884.jpg

Aug 12, 2013#279

CrimsonSoul

Jay said:
View attachment 11551

I see Jay's wife waking him up at 4:25Am and saying "Jay it's time, I'm in labor!" And Jay being all like "Shit! Let me post this picture on Halforums real quick before we go!"

Aug 12, 2013#280

Bubble181

Just another everyday morning for stienman.

Aug 12, 2013#281

jwhouk

For stienman, it was Tuesday.

Of course, it's actually Monday, but stieny's lost count. You know, with all the kids and such.

Aug 12, 2013#282

Dave

A friend of mine just had triplets. All boys.

I need a picture of Oprah yelling, "Babies! Everyone gets a baby!"

(How is babby formed?")

Aug 12, 2013#283

Jay

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1376334168.491612.jpg

Aug 12, 2013#284

Dave

Congrats, Daddy!!

Aug 12, 2013#285

Gilgamesh

@Jay - Welcome to the club.

Aug 12, 2013#286

Azurephoenix

Congratulations Jay... enjoy!!!

Aug 12, 2013#287

Officer_Charon

Felicitations, mon ami! Welcome to the adventure!

Aug 12, 2013#288

Frank

I assumed this is what was causing Jay's absence from most things online.

Congratulations bro.

Aug 12, 2013#289

North_Ranger

Awwwwww! She's a beauty, Jay. Congratulations, and many hugs to Mama Jay.

Aug 12, 2013#290

Jay

Baby Leyla (7.1 pounds) and mother are doing fine .

Me chilling out right out

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1376340507.821361.jpg

This came from my balls man.

Aug 12, 2013#291

Dave

Screenprint that until her first date and then bring it out for the boyfriend. From your balls, man.

Aug 12, 2013#292

HCGLNS

=Groan= Not a Sansa chapter!

Congratulations!

Aug 12, 2013#293

PatrThom

Just an early warning to @Adam - @Jay may be a-poundin' on your door soon, wanting to move in. Be ready.

--Patrick

Aug 12, 2013#294

drifter

Aug 12, 2013#295

Cheesy1

drifter said:

Aug 12, 2013#296

drifter

Cheesy1 said:

Aug 13, 2013#297

North_Ranger

So, how are you gonna handle coming home? Will you find a cliff for some Lion King action, or wait for nightfall and re-enact Roots?

Aug 13, 2013#298

Jay

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1376407071.172657.jpg

Aug 13, 2013#299

drawn_inward

Congrats Jay!

Aug 13, 2013#300

Bones

This is what is coming!

What being a father feels like - Imgur.gif

Aug 13, 2013#301

Shawn

Congrats Jay and family!

Aug 13, 2013#302

Jay

I'm gonna rock those swings.

Aug 13, 2013#303

Emrys

<squeexplode!>
Congratulations! She's so lovely.

Aug 13, 2013#304

PatrThom

Emrys said:
Congratulations! She's so lovely.

--Patrick

Aug 13, 2013#305

Jay

Never seen so many hot women touch my wife's breasts today, even in my wildest fantasies...

Aug 13, 2013#306

Officer_Charon

Ah, lactation nurses.

...

Ours was super nice, but not so great to look at... *grins*

Aug 13, 2013#307

Sparhawk

Congrats Jay.

Now, if anyone ever tried to tell you "May you live in interesting times," you can tell them that it's too late now, you have a daughter.

Aug 13, 2013#308

PatrThom

Jay said:
Never seen so many hot women touch my wife's breasts today, even in my wildest fantasies...

There's still tonight.

--Patrick

Aug 13, 2013#309

Hailey Knight

I'm the idiot who saw this when posted, said aloud, "That's awesome, Jay" as if I was on vent, and then moved along without friggin' posting.

Congratulations, Jay. This is indeed awesome.

Aug 14, 2013#310

Bubble181

PatrThom said:
Just an early warning to @Jay - @Iaculus may be a-poundin' on your door soon, wanting to move in. Be ready.

--Patrick

Errr....Fixed that for you? Or something? :confused:

Also, I demand the thread title be updated. To, like, at least the right date

DEMAND I TELL YOU! Or you shal....errr....Feel my apathy? I dunno, I sort of lost steam there.

Aug 14, 2013#311

PatrThom

Bubble181 said:
I demand the thread title be updated. To, like, at least the right date DEMAND I TELL YOU! Or you shal....errr....Feel my apathy? I dunno, I sort of lost steam there.

Yes, please.

--Patrick

Aug 14, 2013#312

Emrys

By the way, did you get your baby card punched? After seven, the eighth one is free. Just ask @stienman.

Aug 14, 2013#313

Jay

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1376518876.146648.jpg

Aug 14, 2013#314

Gilgamesh

Until they're teenagers anyway

Aug 14, 2013#315

Cheesy1

Then it changes to "Get to sleep early."

Aug 14, 2013#316

Gilgamesh

Cheesy1 said:
Then it changes to "Get to sleep early."

Funny thing is, I let my kids (once they hit 12yrs old) choose their bedtime. They went with past 11pm and learned the hard way on school nights. They actually ended up setting 9pm as their time for a solid couple of years. Now it's between 10-11pm. They feel rested enough (they say) with that schedule.

Aug 14, 2013#317

Dei

You can sleep in before they are teenagers, you just need to invest in earplugs if you have more than one.

Aug 18, 2013#318

Jay

Halforums?

Aug 18, 2013#319

jwhouk

She's a natural!

Aug 18, 2013#320

Cajungal

D'aww, hello little gal! Congrats, Jay

Aug 18, 2013#321

Emrys

What a little angel.

Aug 19, 2013#322

Espy

Congrats!!!

Aug 19, 2013#323

jwhouk

I hereby nominate the name "Leyla" as the name of our Durr smiley. :Leyla:

Aug 19, 2013#324

PatrThom

Jay said:
Baby Leyla

She'll have you on your knees.

(someone had to)

--Patrick

Aug 19, 2013#325

Dave

jwhouk said:
I hereby nominate the name "Leyla" as the name of our Durr smiley.

Done. (You can still use durr to show the smiley.)

Aug 19, 2013#326

ThatNickGuy

One of us! One of us! One of us!

Aug 19, 2013#327

Jay

Upload failed. No more pics for you !

Aug 19, 2013#328

Azurephoenix

She is ridiculously cute... well done Jay

Aug 19, 2013#329

evilmike

Jay, you and your wife have my heartfelt congratulations on the birth of your daughter...

even though I can't quite shake the feeling that this is all part of an elaborate plan to boost your brofist total.

Aug 19, 2013#330

Jay

lol

Aug 20, 2013#331

jwhouk

Jay said:
lol

Aug 20, 2013#332

Jay

How I felt when my wife left for 3 hours worried about me and the baby and I fed her (bottle), changed her diaper twice, had tummy time with her and put her to sleep without problems.

Aug 20, 2013#333

Dei

I don't understand people who are scared of babies. Babies are easy. In fact, until they are mobile, it's just like taking care of your drunk best friend. Potential for lots of screaming, making sure they have some fluids, and then cleaning up the mess.

Aug 20, 2013#334

PatrThom

And they are so portable!

--Patrick

Aug 20, 2013#335

Jay

The best time I have with my daughter is tummy time.. especially when she wears the little hat with cute ears. She melts my heart.

I'll never look at porn the same way again.

Aug 20, 2013#336

PatrThom

Jay said:
I'll never look at porn the same way again.

Of course not. You'll have to remember to cover her eyes with one of your hands, now.

--Patrick

Aug 22, 2013#337

Frank

Jay said:
The best time I have with my daughter is tummy time.. especially when she wears the little hat with cute ears. She melts my heart.

I'll never look at porn the same way again.

This post just got you put on some NSA and FBI lists.

Aug 26, 2013#338

CrimsonSoul

They say in a child's first 2 years of life parents lose 6 months of sleep

Aug 27, 2013#339

North_Ranger

Frank said:
This post just got you put on some NSA and FBI lists.

I reckon the feds have had this place flagged ever since they learned about Operation Minotaur Pe... aaaaand I can't make that joke here. Not so close to baby Leyla.

Aug 27, 2013#340

Bubble181

North_Ranger said:
I reckon the feds have had this place flagged ever since they learned about Operation Minotaur Pe... aaaaand I can't make that joke here. Not so close to baby Leyla.

I'm pretty sure she'll be able to cope, considering where half of her originated. Same size, different genus.

Aug 28, 2013#341

Jay

[DOUBLEPOST=1377743829,1377743762][/DOUBLEPOST]

Aug 28, 2013#342

strawman

Aug 29, 2013#343

Bubble181

stienman said:

Typical jealousy. you've got 99 of them, but somebody else can't have one? You truly think this is a world of haves and have-nots, do you? We can all have children! We should rise up against the tyranny of centralized parenthood! Together we can take our babies back from our cruel Stienien overlord, hoarding all the cute for himself! Everybody, follow Jay's example! Breed! BREED!

Aug 29, 2013#344

Gilgamesh

Bubble181 said:
Typical jealousy. you've got 99 of them, but somebody else can't have one?

He has no girls.

Aug 29, 2013#345

strawman

It was more of a D'AWWWWWW, CUTE! Than a WANT!

She is a beautiful baby, and very photogenic. The first picture in particular.

Aug 29, 2013#346

Gusto

Fun fact: There are little things that I know about expected gender when pregnant, but I can't remember off-hand if they're for real world pregnancies or The Sims 3.

Or both!

Aug 29, 2013#347

Bubble181

stienman said:
It was more of a D'AWWWWWW, CUTE! Than a WANT!

She is a beautiful baby, and very photogenic. The first picture in particular.

I know, I know. I was just trying to make some sort of lame joke about the many-baby guy and the new baby and I wasn't quite awake yet. have mercy, I've slept 2 hours and I'm only half-way through my 12h-work day today....

Err, maybe something about her being a prize the Stienhorde will sack Troy over?

Aug 29, 2013#348

Espy

Dammit Jay. Your cute baby reminds me of my cute baby who isn't a little baby anymore and it makes me kind of want another cute baby and OHGODNO!!! but stillkindofwant...

Aug 29, 2013#349

strawman

QUICK! ESPY'S HAVING BABY CRAVINGS! GIVE HIM 124 OUNCES OF COOING BABY STAT!

Aug 29, 2013#350

Bubble181

124? Not quite, but I'm almost up to a Stienman* in this picture!

*three more and I get a commemorative cup!

Aug 29, 2013#351

strawman

Bubble181 said:
124? Not quite, but I'm almost up to a Stienman* in this picture!

*three more and I get a commemorative cup!

Where'd you find my family picture?

Aug 29, 2013#352

PatrThom

Oh man, that kid looks like she has soooo many accessrories.

--Patrick

Aug 29, 2013#353

strawman

PatrThom said:
Oh man, that kid looks like she has soooo many accessrories.

--Patrick

You can tell they didn't pick her up at a K-Mart blue light special, they went full custom and ordered all the accessories!

To be fair new parents do that. By the time you get to your 150th, though, you just root around in the bargain bin and look for the one that's least scratched up.

Aug 29, 2013#354

LittleSin

I MISSED JAY HAVING A BABY.

CONGRATS JAY.

Aug 30, 2013#355

Bubble181

stienman said:
Where'd you find my family picture?

Well, you know, the pesky thing about those Guinness guys who came over a while ago and gave you a couple of pints? They actually publish this book, too, and I think they may have used your picture once or twice.

Aug 30, 2013#356

Jay

LittleSin said:
I MISSED JAY HAVING A BABY.

CONGRATS JAY.

Thank you so much.

For your kind words, I have attached a special picture for you to this post. Which, I spoilered, but no ONE ELSE SHOULD CLICK ON IT AND PRESS BROFIST as it's only for LittleSin to view.

Leyla enjoying a rest after a nice little bath!

Aug 30, 2013#357

LittleSin

Jay said:
Thank you so much.

For your kind words, I have attached a special picture for you to this post. Which, I spoilered, but no ONE ELSE SHOULD CLICK ON IT AND PRESS BROFIST as it's only for LittleSin to view.

Leyla enjoying a rest after a nice little bath!

View attachment 11669

I wish there was a 'skjjhfgkhiuj CUTE' rating.

Aug 31, 2013#358

PatrThom

Jay said:
it's only for LittleSin to view.

--Patrick

Aug 31, 2013#359

Jay

PatrThom said:
--Patrick

Well Pat, with all your tech advice over the years, you'll get your own reward. But no ONE ELSE SHOULD CLICK ON IT AND PRESS BROFIST as it's only for PatrThom (aka --Patrick) to view.

Leyla didn't like baths... but now she's cool with them..

Aug 31, 2013#360

PatrThom

Aww. She'll get better at it and be splashing y'all for funzies in no time.

--Patrick

Nov 11, 2013#361

PatrThom

Hey, @Jay. Will you do this for us? Will you?

--Patrick

Nov 11, 2013#362

Ravenpoe

PatrThom said:
Hey, @Jay. Will you do this for us? Will you?

--Patrick

If he does, I will give brofists.

Jul 23, 2019#368

Jay

Jul 23, 2019#369

blotsfan

She's like, old now isn't she

Jul 23, 2019#370

Jay

blotsfan said:
She's like, old now isn't she

Perfect age to be a... big sister?

Jul 23, 2019#371

HCGLNS

Oh my gosh! Twins?! Hurray!

Jul 23, 2019#372

PatrThom

Jay said:
View attachment 31966

Why are you calling so much attention to your Woody?
Oh.

OHHH...

--Patrick

Jul 24, 2019#373

Dave

Jay said:
Perfect age to be a... big sister?

Congrats, man!

Jul 24, 2019#374

Adam

Jay said:
Perfect age to be a... big sister?

Yay! Welcome to the club.

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