Have a...job interview? Thing? Tomorrow. At my current job, and it's to maybe possibly qualify to give a course about once a month - just one or two days.
On the one hand, excited and looking forward to it, on the other hand, I've been badly treated in this company as far as advancement goes (which is not just entitlement, but I don't want to elaborate right now
), and it's likely to lead to jack squat.
On the other hand, if it does go through, I'll jsut use it as yet another reason to stay in this dead-end job a little longer, search for a new job a little less, and so on. Don't have motivation or eneergy to actively job hunt right now, but still - I should and I know myself, I'll take any excuse to postpone. This will just be another excuse and I'm afraid it won't be valuable in the long run. Teaching a course (on digital communication and holding such beauties as "Our good old floppy disc is slowly being replaced by the CD-ROM" and "on line, that is, through cables, or off line, on a floppy or a ZIP-drive". Worst part is, this course was last updated 2010, so there's really no exxcuse for being
this out of date and/or flat-out wrong.
Anyway, have to give a presentation tomorrow, so now I have to prepare a half-hour or so class. Not the biggest of things, but it's in less than 12 hours and my motivation is nowhere to be found. If I can't even get myself together for this little thing, how'm I supposed to ever properly deal with the stress of a real job interview? And so, I feel crappy for not doing it, can't properly do it because I feel crappy, and it pushes me deeper into feeling pretty much too stressed out by nothing at all to actually deal with something, which just makes the molehill seem more like a mountain and is just another postponement mechanism in action. I swear it's not just laziness, but....Gah. I may have to develop a coping mechanism other than escapism in books/tv/games/forums.
