Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!
- Thread starter strawman
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GasBandit
Staff member
Absolutely speak up if you need help.
Fucking hell. Woke up in the middle of the night and I haven't been able to back to sleep.
Sorry, dude. I had an eye exam recently, too. First one since I was 12 years old. They only confirmed what I already knew: I'd need reading glasses going forward.
I also learned my funny tick of crying when it's cold is actually not so funny. It's a sign of dry eyes and my tear ducts overcompensating. So I have a prescription for eye drops now.
Getting old sucks.
I have myopia, especially in my right eye.
Edit: And reading my prescription, the reason my right eye is worse is because it also has astigmatism. yay.
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If it makes you feel better, I've been dealing with a similar condition. But my problem is that my tear ducts have collapsed. Yes, there is a surgery for it, but I dunno if the side effects make it worth it.
Dave
Staff member
Reading glasses? AMATEUR! I have three pairs. A normal pair for driving & stuff - bifocals - a pair for just being at the computer, and a pair that I use when I work since they have to be safety rated.
Reading glasses. Pfft.
I know having glasses for the first time sucks, but you are by no means alone, @Cheesy1 . I would say, in fact, that I know more people who have glasses than don't. Plus it's just part of getting older.
Reading glasses. Pfft.
I know having glasses for the first time sucks, but you are by no means alone, @Cheesy1 . I would say, in fact, that I know more people who have glasses than don't. Plus it's just part of getting older.
I am there with you. I have astigmatism and need bifocals. Driving at night sucks.
Had lasik in one eye, wear a lens in the other one; I currently wear lenses that are slightly stronger than my actual prescription to help counter the astigmatism but it's not keeping up. Next eye doctor appointment in January and I expect I'll be either wearing 2 lenses or glasses again. *sigh*
I just got home from a first date. I think it went well overall, but...I get the feeling she won't be interested in a second date.
I've realized something about myself recently: I don't feel like an adult. I've joked about it for years, saying I'm [insert current age] going on 4 or some nonsense like that. I used to pride myself on being a big, playful goofball. But lately, that's feeling more and more like a detriment. If I'm in a room full of fellow adults close to my age, I don't feel like I can relate with them at all. More often than not, I relate more with the kids or young adults, largely because I can talk to them about various nerd stuff or TV shows or video games. Even when I volunteer at Kidical Mass, I never feel like I'm equal with the adults who are all married and with kids.
This past year, I've been trying to date women closer to my age. I've realized the majority of my dating over the years has been with women younger than me (my last major ex was in her mid-20s, while I'm in my 40s). As I'm meeting these women, it feels like there's this gap, as if I'm still mentally and emotionally still in my 20s, if I'm lucky. I never feel like the adult in a room full of adults.
And I...really don't know what to do about it. I don't know if therapy can help with that. How can therapy help someone become more emotionally mature? I don't know. I'm still stuck in the mindset that I'm just going to die alone. It's probably better I live a life alone, instead.
I've realized something about myself recently: I don't feel like an adult. I've joked about it for years, saying I'm [insert current age] going on 4 or some nonsense like that. I used to pride myself on being a big, playful goofball. But lately, that's feeling more and more like a detriment. If I'm in a room full of fellow adults close to my age, I don't feel like I can relate with them at all. More often than not, I relate more with the kids or young adults, largely because I can talk to them about various nerd stuff or TV shows or video games. Even when I volunteer at Kidical Mass, I never feel like I'm equal with the adults who are all married and with kids.
This past year, I've been trying to date women closer to my age. I've realized the majority of my dating over the years has been with women younger than me (my last major ex was in her mid-20s, while I'm in my 40s). As I'm meeting these women, it feels like there's this gap, as if I'm still mentally and emotionally still in my 20s, if I'm lucky. I never feel like the adult in a room full of adults.
And I...really don't know what to do about it. I don't know if therapy can help with that. How can therapy help someone become more emotionally mature? I don't know. I'm still stuck in the mindset that I'm just going to die alone. It's probably better I live a life alone, instead.
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I'm having a hard time figuring out why having a more immature/innocent outlook on life would be considered a bad thing. Having fun in a relationship should always be more important than bragging about how successful you are or what school you went to. But then perhaps I am biased.
I know there are people who look at a dog who comes up to them with a toy in its mouth and irritatedly ask it, "And just what are you expecting me to do with that?" and these people just do not deserve dogs. In an ideal world, that dog would just ignore that person for the rest of its life.
--Patrick
I know there are people who look at a dog who comes up to them with a toy in its mouth and irritatedly ask it, "And just what are you expecting me to do with that?" and these people just do not deserve dogs. In an ideal world, that dog would just ignore that person for the rest of its life.
--Patrick
I definitely don’t feel like an adult. I try to act relatively mature when I’m at work dealing with people outside my team, but that’s it.
I have definitely felt that way. I was usually the opposite. I gravitated towards older folks.
My current buddy that I hang out with is in his mid 60s.
It's an odd thing that whatever the essence of soul that makes us "us" never really changes much. I still feel a lot of the same emotions and insecurities from being 8 or 9 years old. I am sure we all do. We have the abilities to handle them differently as an adult.
You might be feeling a difference of life experience. Having kids really shifted my world view. My friend in his 60s never had kids. He's fairly carefree about it. He travels when he wants. Goes to concerts and Buddhist retreats. He seems so free to me. I don't necessarily envy him but I see it as an alternate path that I could have been down. We can learn from each others experience.
Don't sweat it too much. Be you. Trying to be an "adult" to fit in sounds suffocating. There are some playful goofy ladies out there. Don't give up.
I am notoriously unserious about most things despite being an old soul. I wouldn't worry about maturing - that's just a code word for being boring.
We had our meeting and the news was as bad as I expected.
We are all having our roles disestablished and we will have to reapply for the reduced number of new roles which will replace them.
"The reason for this is we are proposing a reduction in roles where there are more people than available positions within a role group (referred to as “more to less” in the Consultation Document)."
We are all having our roles disestablished and we will have to reapply for the reduced number of new roles which will replace them.
"The reason for this is we are proposing a reduction in roles where there are more people than available positions within a role group (referred to as “more to less” in the Consultation Document)."
Not far off.
Only I work in the public health system and instead of bonuses they have given out tax cuts and so now they have to cut costs.
Maybe i'll be one of the people who gets a role in the new structure but this is going to shred my peace of mind over the next several months as we go through the process.
I haven't been to a job interview in the last 17 years.
Only I work in the public health system and instead of bonuses they have given out tax cuts and so now they have to cut costs.
Maybe i'll be one of the people who gets a role in the new structure but this is going to shred my peace of mind over the next several months as we go through the process.
I haven't been to a job interview in the last 17 years.
My dad is in the ICU and it doesn't look good. He has low sodium which is apparently a known complication for cancer patients. It was apparently low before his diagnosis and after his diagnosis the VA didn't do shit about it. He has EVERY SINGLE SYMPTOM for low sodium and not one doc could put 2+2 together?! Fuck the shitty VA system. I did one fucking google search and found a shit tone of medical journals describing this.
His survival rate is very low now. He was responding well to the immunotherapy for the cancer but if they can't correct the Na issue, he won't be coming home.
His survival rate is very low now. He was responding well to the immunotherapy for the cancer but if they can't correct the Na issue, he won't be coming home.
From my reading, the cancer can cause the kidneys to retain water. Electrolyte issues are a known side effect for his type of lung cancer.
Thanks all. Feeling defeated but still hopeful. He's tough. It's hard that I am halfway across the country. We went out to seen him after his diagnosis to spend time with him. We don't know now when to go back. I would hate to wait too late. I also don't want to go and then not have leave in case he passes.
Thanks for letting me vent here.
GasBandit
Staff member
It's the day before thanksgiving and I already want to go home. I'm out at my girlfriend's mom's place in San Diego, and
1) I've gotten the worst headcold I've had since the one that took away all hearing in my left year last winter
2) It's San Diego. I don't like crowded cities. I don't care for California.
3) With every moment I observe the matriarch of this clan, it's clear to me that narcissism and passive aggressiveness are a recurring problem to the degree that they can only be in privileged society. It's straight up Arrested Development in here
4) The conspicuous consumption on display around here shoves me ever further toward the end of the political spectrum that I can't voice while being here to keep the peace.
5) It is OBVIOUS and APPARENT to anyone who isn't part of this family that the only reason any of this 86 year old's woman's kids can stand being in the same room with each other is the imminent inheritance, and nobody wants to be the one who "breaks up the family."
and most of all
6) Today is the day that the worst of the bunch is to arrive. From all accounts, he's a solipsistic leech with tendencies toward pedophilia and physical abuse... but he's also the oldest and thus the golden child and so the Mom won't hear an unkind word about him and believes his side of every conflict. He's currently under investigation for arson and insurance fraud because he got mad when his mother wouldn't give him money to renovate the house she bought him, so he (so I hear from both my GF and her younger brother) got some of his GF's friends to set fire to it while he had a very conspicuous alibi... but wasn't able to act well enough to avoid suspicion. We can only hope he goes to jail soon. But in the short term, I have to be on my A-game on my toes around this guy and do my best to play the balance game of social interaction... while my mental faculties are impaired by my cold and the medicine I'm taking for same.
Ugh.
1) I've gotten the worst headcold I've had since the one that took away all hearing in my left year last winter
2) It's San Diego. I don't like crowded cities. I don't care for California.
3) With every moment I observe the matriarch of this clan, it's clear to me that narcissism and passive aggressiveness are a recurring problem to the degree that they can only be in privileged society. It's straight up Arrested Development in here
4) The conspicuous consumption on display around here shoves me ever further toward the end of the political spectrum that I can't voice while being here to keep the peace.
5) It is OBVIOUS and APPARENT to anyone who isn't part of this family that the only reason any of this 86 year old's woman's kids can stand being in the same room with each other is the imminent inheritance, and nobody wants to be the one who "breaks up the family."
and most of all
6) Today is the day that the worst of the bunch is to arrive. From all accounts, he's a solipsistic leech with tendencies toward pedophilia and physical abuse... but he's also the oldest and thus the golden child and so the Mom won't hear an unkind word about him and believes his side of every conflict. He's currently under investigation for arson and insurance fraud because he got mad when his mother wouldn't give him money to renovate the house she bought him, so he (so I hear from both my GF and her younger brother) got some of his GF's friends to set fire to it while he had a very conspicuous alibi... but wasn't able to act well enough to avoid suspicion. We can only hope he goes to jail soon. But in the short term, I have to be on my A-game on my toes around this guy and do my best to play the balance game of social interaction... while my mental faculties are impaired by my cold and the medicine I'm taking for same.
Ugh.
May I suggest lying on the coach/on a recliner, eyes closed, and saying you're completely exhausted because of not sleeping due to the headcold and sleepy from the medication?
You can actually take a nap if you so desire, which is always a bonus, your don't have to do any chores or take responsibility, and you have a decent alibi not to interact.
Aka: the grandfather way of surviving family get togethers.
You can actually take a nap if you so desire, which is always a bonus, your don't have to do any chores or take responsibility, and you have a decent alibi not to interact.
Aka: the grandfather way of surviving family get togethers.
GasBandit
Staff member
I have to be my GFs moral support through all this or she will have an anxiety attack.
Nyquil, Dayquil, chloroform, accidents happen, right? I'm sure she's feeling under the weather too
Listen, man. If you're all out of ideas for what to post this coming Friday, you know you can just skip a week, right? You don't have to make up a whole big story.
--Patrick