Would this be too insistent?

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GasBandit

Staff member
You think I should try it? I'd been thinking I should keep my distance because of the principle of the thing but... that's never gotten me anywhere before. Perhaps I could ask her to Midnight Yell in a couple weeks?
That's a call I can't make for you. All I can tell you, is if she's not bonin' you by the end of the year, she'll be bonin' somebody else. Whether you want to be the guy who disabuses her of the notion that high school boyfriends are forever, is up to you. But somebody will.

If you decide to go for it though, I'd recommend you try to keep it innocent and platonic at first. But exactly how you progress from there, I wouldn't be able to say. You risk the "FRIEND ZONE" from this approach.
 
M

makare

But if her boyfriend turns out to be some kind of psychotic jealous guy who comes to beat you up make sure to send him to Gas's house instead.
 
Well, I talked with those two girls in my anthro seminar. One of them's engaged (she doesn't wear a ring so I hadn't known) and the other's got a boyfriend. Said boyfriend lives all the way up in Edmonton but you gotta respect that. At least I got two more friends out of it, so that part's good. And the brownies came out really well. It was fun crushing the Oreos because I felt like the Incredible Hulk whenever I smashed them with a rolling pin.

Now I've gotta get back to the drawing board.
I could have him arrested for something.
 
D

darkangel6988

From personal experience stay away from dating sites........I married a man from one and that didnt work then I dated one and that blew up in my face.........Shit if i think about it Doc may be the only decent person I ever met on a singles site and well were not together hence why it worked out lol :)

---------- Post added at 09:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:45 PM ----------

Ok maybe dont give up but I jsut hate dating sites all together !
 
I gotta agree with GB here. Don't be a douche about pushing it, but the odds of her high-school sweetie who she never sees being "the one" is pretty unlikely, and if you're there and she thinks you're awesome, there's a fair chance (if you don't mind risking the friendship) that she'll eventually be amenable to a few dates, at least.

Good luck, in any case. There's a very small point of intersection between "stuck in the friendship zone", "respectful awesome guy I hang out with", and "creeper who won't stop making inappropriate comments who I can't avoid".
 
Okay, I think I'll ask the girl to Midnight Yell. I've also set up an eHarmony account because they have a deal right now. The people on eHarmony actually seem normal. They don't creep me out like Craigslist.
 
Well, I talked with those two girls in my anthro seminar. One of them's engaged (she doesn't wear a ring so I hadn't known) and the other's got a boyfriend. Said boyfriend lives all the way up in Edmonton but you gotta respect that. At least I got two more friends out of it, so that part's good. And the brownies came out really well. It was fun crushing the Oreos because I felt like the Incredible Hulk whenever I smashed them with a rolling pin.

Now I've gotta get back to the drawing board.
Goes to show that all the good nerd girls are already taken :([/QUOTE]

 
D

darkangel6988

Okay, I think I'll ask the girl to Midnight Yell. I've also set up an eHarmony account because they have a deal right now. The people on eHarmony actually seem normal. They don't creep me out like Craigslist.

I just called Eharmony and had them refund me....I hated it hope it works out better for you !
 
Okay, I think I'll ask the girl to Midnight Yell. I've also set up an eHarmony account because they have a deal right now. The people on eHarmony actually seem normal. They don't creep me out like Craigslist.
EHarmony is kind of bullshit for the reason that when they show you your matches you're seeing everyone who has ever signed up, free weekend, specials etc. So, if their account has lapsed, they can no longer receive messages and respond to yours that you send. You are not made aware of this fact.

OR so I am told, everything I just wrote could be complete bullshit.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
^what he was about to say.
There are plenty around. It's just that some guys who are looking for em tend to start shaking and drooling like epileptic chihuahuas any time they meet one who seems remotely interesting, and that can be intimidating.
 
I know several geek/gamer girls. Most are in committed long term relationships or married.

And CG's right - lord knows I've been that way myself. Hell, the start of the whole Blonde Sonja project is just begging for that kind of reaction though somehow I've managed to avoid it.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
Well, it's understandable behavior--the excitement of meeting someone nice who shares your interests. It can happen to anyone in any subculture.
 
I never seem to meet any geeky girls near me :(

But than again I don't get out much so what do I really expect?
 
The main problem is I don't drink so bars are out and I don't really know any places nearby to go. And even if did I see a girl I am way to shy to say anything. Sometimes being majorly introverted has its downsides. I have been tempted to see of any of my friends know anyone but I don't know if I would really trust there choosing abilities but that could just be me being a shy introvert.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
You can go to a bar for socializing, too. Are there any mellow type bars that have a lot of pool tables or trivia or something? Order a sprite with a lime in it, don't tell anyone it's not an alcoholic beverage, and mingle. Cafes and bookstores are good places, too, provided everyone there isn't buried in a laptop. I've gotten approached at a Barnes and Noble and a coffee house, and they opened up with the book I was reading/looking for and what flavor iced coffee I ordered. Plenty of conversation starters, and the worst that can happen is someone doesn't feel like talking.

Anyway. Sorry for dumping a bunch of unsolicited advice on you...
 
I don't mind the advice.

I still don't know if a bar would the best setting for me but I think the book store may have possibilities. A huge problem for me is that I tend to over think things I constantly run every possible scenario I can think of through my mind trying to find the most likely outcome.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
Yeah, most bars I've been to attract people I'd prefer not to spend my weekends with. There's this one place, more like the pubs I visited in England, and a pool hall that are laid back and good for conversation that came to mind.

I totally feel you on the over-thinking bit. It's one of my greatest flaws.
 
A huge problem for me is that I tend to over think things I constantly run every possible scenario I can think of through my mind trying to find the most likely outcome.
Try to avoid that with dating, because the universe tends to actually try to surprise you.
 
I was thinking about making a separate thread for this, but it's related so I'll just put it here.

So eHarmony seems to be working out. This one girl and I made it past all the guided communications steps and started e-mailing each other the other day. We're both grad students although we go to different universities. She lives in Huntsville (not Alabama, but about an hour east of here) so distance isn't much of a factor. We share many interests and hit it off right away. We each sent each other a couple long emails on Saturday. Then on Sunday I sent her another email responding to her previous questions, followed by a very short addendum with some pics. She had sent me pics of her time spent in Halifax, so I wanted to send her a couple more photos of Waimea Bay and Diamond Head. I haven't heard back from her since then, but it's been such a short time and I want to give her some space. The last thing I want to do is shoot myself in the foot by crowding her. Plus she's a grad student and we don't always have time for e-mails.

I really like this girl, though, and think this might be something worth pursuing. I'm thinking about asking for her phone number on Wednesday or after she sends her next e-mail, whichever comes first. Then we can work on a face-to-face meeting. That's what the people on the eHarmony boards are suggesting, but I wanted a second opinion from you all. Does it sound like a good idea?

Btw, I did tell her I dressed up as Captain Hammer for Comic Con. Normally that wouldn't be something to share, but she told me she makes her Renaissance festival outfits so I figured it would only be fair to share that tidbit.
 
Well, I guess if you guys are hitting it off then I can't see what harm asking for her phone number is so you guys can take the next step. Just be sure to not send her message after message until you get responses. Eagerness is good, over-eagerness is not.
 
Just a little update here. I can take a hint that the Canadian girl isn't interested in me as anything else but a friend. That's a bummer, but I've hit it off with a couple girls on eHarmony and that girl I mentioned in my last post gave me her number. I have a good feeling about this one. We've been talking a lot and we have more in common every time. Today, I very tentatively said that Star Trek: TNG is a guilty pleasure of mine. She then replied that she owns every season. If she likes Firefly as well then I'll probably die from one of those anime-style nosebleeds.
 
I just got off the phone with her and it turns out she does indeed love Firefly and Serenity. She seems to share all my geeky hobbies. Indiana Jones, superheroes, Dr. Horrible, D&D, you name it and she likes it. Now the only trouble is trying to find a free weekend to meet up. We're both grad students so right now we're in that stage of the semester where we have to research our term papers.
 
You know, this is funny. Funny in regards to the whole online dating situation and not necessarily your woes! My buddy and I were discussing this exact thing 2 weekends ago.

Let me elaborate. Online dating is generally a clusterfuck and completely in the favor for those who were born with vaginas. As there are easily 20 men to 1 woman ratio on those types of sites, the majority of these online women are about the worst scumbags you can possibly have to deal with. I’ve been on these websites a long way back when I was single and it was an annoying experience to say the least.

You’ll learn and after my post, you’ll understand. Firstly, don’t take it hard that she ignored you, that much was a given, sorry I wasn’t here quickly enough to provide you the support I could have. You see… these women on these websites aren’t human beings. They are hypocritical attention whores who are perusing a catalogue of penises. Simply put, your dick wasn’t appetizing enough and she’s got plenty in reserve.

I mentioned I was chatting with my buddy about this. You see, he’s recently found himself to be single and we discussed how hard it is to find single attractive women online after the age of 30. The odds are that my buddy, a 32 year old average looking single dad of one, to find an attractive normal woman around his age… is quite the feat to beat. Generally, women over the age of 30 are a lot like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and all that’s left are reserved for the handicapped.

After our conversation, I went online and actually tested the waters simply for the sake to see if things were different. I created 3 accounts. One for a guy like me, with a bit of gusto and white lies to make myself look more interesting, one for an average lookin’ girl with a few brief lines with a picture stolen off facebook and a third profile taken from a good lookin’ girl I found on google images without making her look fake.

I logged back in 2 days later and these were the stats:

The guy had about 15 something views with no messages and virtual gift from a female member that looked like the human equivalent of the Titanic.

The average looking girl had about 200+ views, with about 20 messages and 50 or so virtual gifts.

The good looking girl had about 500+ views with her “free” account mailbox being full (limit was 50) with 90 something virtual gifts.

I digress but nonetheless, this is interesting don’t you agree?


If your plan is to date online, then expect to be disappointed and expect it to be attention whoring centric. With a catalogue of dick to peruse, most of these online women will try to find their ideal mate.

The same women who’ll be back, still perusing the same catalogue looking for prince charming and fail over and over and over.

My advice? If you’re a geek, balls up and go out, hit places that are “geek” related and try to meet someone in person. Sure, you may get turned down but at least you’re not trying to talk to her while she’s looking at a parade of cocks waving at her for attention.

Regards,
Jay
 
Yes, definitely put it up on Youtube. Make sure the video begins with you sitting in a well-appointed study, dressed in a suit and reading a leather-bound book a la Masterpiece Theater. You might beat the Numa Numa guy in views.

When I tried Geek2Geek there were seven potential matches. Most of those hadn't even logged on within the past six months. Out of curiosity I did a match search whilst pretending to be a woman seeking a man. There were over forty.

This eHarmony thing seems to be working out, though. She also friended me on Facebook (her initiative, not mine).
 
M

makare

My advice? If you’re a geek, balls up and go out, hit places that are “geek” related and try to meet someone in person. Sure, you may get turned down but at least you’re not trying to talk to her while she’s looking at a parade of cocks waving at her for attention.
Sounds like any night at the bar.
 
D

Disconnected

from a female member that looked like the human equivalent of the Titanic
I knew my wife was up to something.

Also as per online dating sites: agreed but only from second hand experience here (i.e. viewing/talking to others trying it)

good luck IronBrigman
 
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