So yesterday, finally having gotten a char past 40 (got to 30+ on two other characters then started over, I think this one's the keeper, an asura thief named - wait for it - Gas Bandit), the little woman and I finally decided to see what all the noise and big deal is about doing "CM STORY" because people have been shouting "NEED MORE FOR CM STORY" or "LFG CM STORY" in queensdale incessantly for about 2 weeks now, and you have to be 40+ to do that.
Let me tell you this - CM, or "Caudaecus' Manor" or some crap, is
PANTS
ON
HEAD
RETARDED.
I've gotten most of my levels through WvW. In my guild, I'm a notorious PvE hater. In Warhammer Online I pretty muched refused to do ANY PvE content, and even in DAOC I tried to do most of my leveling in the battlegrounds (once they became available). Last night did nothing but absolutely reinforce my opinion that MMO PvE content is a sick joke that nobody in their right mind would put themselves through, especially not when there's way more fun times and engrossing combat to be had in WvW/RvR/PvP/Whatever they're calling it this year.
I was fully decked out in level 40 masterwork armor and weapons, and practically every hit on me was a 1 hit kill from every enemy boss. Our 5 man group wiped so many times I lost count. My gear got so devastated by the end of the night I was standing there in my boxers and a pair of gloves. BTW, Asura boxer shorts have little carrots all over them. Every enemy we ran into had AE attacks you couldn't escape, 360 degree attacks, spammed fear/knockdown attacks, and whistled for backup from other guys constantly. Oh, and lest I forget, easily 10-20 times the amount of hit points ANY OTHER MOB IN THE GAME has. And this is in a game that has NO TANKS and NO HEALERS. Everybody's DPS in GW2. I'm probably actually the closest thing to a tank in the game, actually, since when dual wielding pistols I can spam a small point-blank area effect pulsing blindness ability that makes anyone in melee range of me miss every attack as long as I keep the aura going. But it was no use. The only way we could make any progress at all was to pull things back 90 rooms and all run in circles like spastic children screaming for candy while we desperately hoped to not be the one targeted on the next attack, while slowly whittling down the enemy's life a quarter pixel at a time.
We went because we heard the loot was "sooooo good." Well, I came out of there with a backpack full of trash blues not even worth salvaging, a soulbound yellow (rare) hat, and a yellow staff I couldn't use and prices on the trading post for them barely covered the cost of repairs to the gear I went in with.
Man, fuck PVE. Right in the god damned ear. That shit's for mental defectives. BY mental defectives.
(I'm told by guildmates the dungeon's difficulty was patched upward recently because Anet thought the dungeon was being "farmed" too much... gah).