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JCM
GRANTED. A Pegasus in heat arrives, it hasn't had sex for months, and it will do anything that moves.
I wish for world peace.
I wish for world peace.
[Thread Game] Corrupt a wish foundation
- Thread starter Yoshimickster
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GRANTED! However said submarine is actually Bravoman. And he won't let you ride in him.
I wish I didn't have to feel guilty about buying action figures.
Granted. Now you buy barbies and masturbate to them.
I wish that I created a cure for all illnesses that have ever been and will ever be
Granted. Overpopulation leads to massive famine.
I wish a certain country, which shall remain nameless, is incinerated in a massive firestorm. Yes, all of it.
Granted! And now we have 20 spin-offs of Honey Boo Boo and a live, unscripted show following Lindsey Lohan 24 hours a day.
I wish I could be more motivated in the morning.
I wish I could be more motivated in the morning.
GRANTED! However you are now more motivated- TO SURVIVE! As from now on every time you wake up you need to battle fifty super goblins just to make breakfast. GOBLIN DOME!
I wish I had a legion of goblin soldiers.
Granted, but your neighbors hate you for ruining the resale value of their homes, and they consider you a 47%, sucking the gov't teat.
I wish I could create a device that gives clean, renewable energy to the world.
GRANTED! However it is bio-engineered to be the perfect skunk...TOO perfect. It is one step above all humanity, IT SHALL DOMINATE THE WORLD! But at least it looks cute.
I wish I was friends with famed actor Christopher Walken.
Granted. Everyone in the world is now able to utter only one frequency of sound, and it's the same note for every human. They are now in perfect harmony, even when speaking, and you die a little each time someone opens their mouth and speaks in pitch perfect monotone.
I wish companies would release all their products under open software and open hardware licenses 5 years after the product came to market.
Granted! You are as big as Jupiter. Sadly, you are still unable to breathe in space.
I wish I was not feeling so full right now from eating Thanksgiving dinner and dessert.
Okey-dokey, you are Mr Creosote from Meaning of Life and you have just consumed a wafer-thin mint. You are no longer full.
I wish I could have enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner with my friends and family.
One of your family members brings a new boyfriend or girlfriend to dinner, to meet the family. This boyfriend or girlfriend just happens to be deathly allergic to weasels. An asthma attack ensues, followed by total cardiac arrest. The rest of dinner is awkward.
I wish I had Skyrim.
GRANTED! However all cholesterol is good only for Timothy Bernstein of Hoboken, New York. He died yesterday. Would've done him some good if he knew before the dying and such.
I wish for a disintegration proof vest.
It swallows you whole and you sear painfully in its digestive juices until it dies and decomposes.
I wish to be cured of my allergies.
GRANTED! However in order to lose these allergies you must become part of the undead, A VAMPIRE! Sooooooooo, basically you traded a bunch of human allergies, for a bunch of vampire weaknesses. Can't get a break can ya?
I wish I could decide what to do for this party I'm hosting in December.
Granted! You come up with an awesome party idea, and put a lot of work into making it the best party ever.
No one comes.
I wish weekends lasted forever.
No. No I can't. My body has so many minor failings and they're becoming increasingly tedious and inconvenient to live with.
GRANTED! However its the same weekend over and over again. And its not even a holiday or special occasion like Groundhog day or any of its knock-offs, its just a boring weekend where not much happens.
I wish I had a library of infinite wisdom in small tablet form.
Zappit
Staff member
Granted. HR never would approve that, though, so you, and the manager who approved it, get shit-canned.
I wish the Not Top Ten on Sportscenter would expand to twenty bloopers.
GRANTED! However 10 of the bloopers are just different shots of the same blooper. Monotonous, isn't it?
I wish the perfect beer cozy that could fit any beer.
Its magical abilities immediately warm your beer to 100C. It's very cozy and you can use it as a hot water bottle but don't try drinking it.
I wish Canadian winters were warmer.
GRANTED! However that is only because the Earth's rotation stopped during Winter causing the Earth to be in a constant blazing heat on your side. You gon' feel all sorts of sweaty.
I wish for heat beam eyes.
Granted! However, the only way to turn it off is to close your eyes as your eyeballs and surrounding skin are impervious to the heat beams. You are horribly disfigured due to the many burns and your parents need a new house. You have also gotten a little tired of friends playing Firestarter at parties because they think it's hilarious.
I wish for world peace.
I wish for world peace.
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