[Thread Game] Corrupt a wish foundation
- Thread starter Yoshimickster
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THIS IS CETI ALPHA FIIIIVE!
You shall have them precisely one second after tonight's Powerball numbers are drawn.
I wish to be a master swordsman.
GRANTED! However you have to ally yourself with the World Government, and split the profits you steal from pirates with them. Also you will have to train a dude who will probably end up killing you. So yeah, your life could be better.
I wish for an army of robot bears.
Granted! They break free from your control, take over the world and rename our planet Ursa. The created will always rebel against the creators, after all.
I wish for an end to world hunger.
GRANTED! The world is now no longer hungry. Everyone living thing ON the world is still hungry though.
I wish for no more made for DVD sequels that don't feature any of the original cast.
Cajungal
Staff member
Granted. Instead, crappy struggling actors will strap you down and act out direct-to-DVD-worthy sequels for you.
But don't worry; the crew will be there to moisten your pried-open eyes.
I wish I were a famous jazz singer.
GRANTED! However you are INTERNET FAMOUS! And none of your fans make it to your show because people illegally download your stuff.
I wish I had a life time supply of root beer.
Cajungal
Staff member
Granted, but your eyebrows grow up to 6 feet long every day, and you have to constantly trim them.
I wish I could have a one night stand with Liam Neeson.
GRANTED! However he blogs about it and the paparazzi follow you like the plague, until you drive into a wall saddening millions. I HOPE YOUR HAPPY!
I wish for a pony! And not for that reason you perverts, I just like animals.
Cajungal
Staff member
Granted, but the pony wants to be more than friends and it's very persuasive. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! (That's for ruining my dreams of Liam.
)I wish I were the owner of a successful breakfast and brunch restaurant.
GRANTED-for one week! Then it get smashed by an asteroid. The insurance doesn't cover it.Granted, but the pony wants to be more than friends and it's very persuasive. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! (That's for ruining my dreams of Liam.
I wish I were the owner of a successful breakfast and brunch restaurant.
I wish I had a delicious doughnut.
Granted! The doughnut is so delicious, you cannot even think of eating anything else. You gorge yourself on more and more of the doughnuts until you become morbidly obese.
I wish that my high school senior prom had been a success, both in terms of being fun and in terms of dating.
Granted! The price of this donut, though, is YOUR SOUL.
I wish I could become a successful Broadway star.[DOUBLEPOST=1353988747][/DOUBLEPOST]
Gah ninja'd again.
Granted! You meet the girl of your dreams, and ask her to prom, and you have a great time. You exchange info, and promise to go out again sometime soon. She is then devoured by a runaway circus bear.
I still wish to become a successful Broadway star.
GRANTED! However after getting your Tony, you become incredibly self-centered and shut out everyone in your life. You end up dying of fifteen drug over-doses, and get 30 books and movies based on your life story.
I wish I wouldn't get so sick at times.
Granted. You never get sick yourself. The people around you, however, are knocked off their feet with illness. Turns out you're carrying a supervirus in your system and your body got used to it before it could hurt you.
I wish I had a Green Lantern Corps power ring.
I fail to see how that's a bad thing.
Anyway, GRANTED! You receive perfect health. Your body maintains total health and vitality through the rest of your life, but your mind doesn't. At age 110 or so, you become a very physically healthy but mentally demented mess. You lash out at everyone around you, because you can no longer understand what's going on, and because you're so buff and healthy, you physically beat up most of your friends and family. In the end, you accidentally walk into traffic and get killed by a bus, though you put a pretty big dent in the bus in the process.
I wish I looked good in a tux.[DOUBLEPOST=1353989170][/DOUBLEPOST]
Aaaand ninja'd again. Stop doing that, dude!
Your Green Lantern ring doesn't come with a Lantern or any other charging device. It's good for around twelve seconds of power, then it'll die.
I still wish to look good in a tux.
Granted! You're now Oswald Cobblepot, otherwise known as the Penguin. You do look good in a tux, but it doesn't do much good against the beatings from Batman.I fail to see how that's a bad thing.
Anyway, GRANTED! You receive perfect health. Your body maintains total health and vitality through the rest of your life, but your mind doesn't. At age 110 or so, you become a very physically healthy but mentally demented mess. You lash out at everyone around you, because you can no longer understand what's going on, and because you're so buff and healthy, you physically beat up most of your friends and family. In the end, you accidentally walk into traffic and get killed by a bus, though you put a pretty big dent in the bus in the process.
I wish I looked good in a tux.[DOUBLEPOST=1353989170][/DOUBLEPOST]
Aaaand ninja'd again. Stop doing that, dude!
Your Green Lantern ring doesn't come with a Lantern or any other charging device. It's good for around twelve seconds of power, then it'll die.
I still wish to look good in a tux.
I wish to have a genie under my command.
GRANTED! However, the genie is Kazam! Have fun with that.
I wish I had a bull dog.
I will love my mutant dog monsters with fervor.
GRANTED! However it gets less enjoyable as time goes on, and it causes all of us to go into stage 5 depressions making us lie on the floor all day listening to Linkin park like a Myspace poster.
I wish I never read all the awful web-comics I've read.
Cajungal
Staff member
Granted. Instead, you spent your time writing love letters to Stephanie Meyer, collecting things out of her garbage, and sending her sketches of what your children would look like.
I wish I had enough money to spend the rest of my life as a benevolent weirdo, traveling around helping everyone I meet.
Granted! But you aren't just satisfied helping people in the here and now. Using your abundant wealth, you create a device that allows you to "leap" through time in other people's bodies. And so you find yourself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping that each time your next leap . . . will be the leap home!
I wish that the next Star Trek television series is actually good this time.
GRANTED! However logically being a good American sci-fi series in the 21st century, it gets cancelled after 3 episodes. Its a wish granting that corrupts itself!
I wish for a bucket.
Granted. But it's full of...something gel-ish, beige-pink, and off smelling that you cannot readily identify. 
Dafuq is this? Blech.
I wish I had strawberries that would not go bad and were still edible despite whatever is keeping them from spoiling.
Dafuq is this? Blech.I wish I had strawberries that would not go bad and were still edible despite whatever is keeping them from spoiling.
GRANTED! However while they are edible and taste all-right, after three straw-berries your body becomes so full of preservatives that you body stiffens up ala rigor mortis. And yet you still LIVE! The statue woman the media calls you, many wondering whether you still think! It is a fate worse than death.Granted. But it's full of...something gel-ish, beige-pink, and off smelling that you cannot readily identify.
I wish I had strawberries that would not go bad and were still edible despite whatever is keeping them from spoiling.
I wish they'd make a new Megaman game.
Granted. It is a Mega Man RPG and you can only play it on iPad or iPhone.
I wish someone started a new truth or dare thread.
Granted! Mods lock it after the first dare is "post a picture of yourself naked" and Dave obliges. Apparently the flappy hooties landed at least seven forumites in therapy.
I wish I had amazing computer hacking skills.
....oh no! That...that is not what fans wanted....at all. Maybe not on the iPad or Iphone but...yeah that sounds awesome.
GRANTED! However, at you end up being arrested for trying to sink a bunch of oil tankers and framing a bunch of teenagers.
I wish I had a real life pet monster.
GRANTED! However it turns out it was only because they are know coached by Bill Belichick. Have fun having that on your conscience!
I wish I had a bag of holding.
GRANTED! However this is only because you have been drafted into the American super soldier program, and are drafted to go to war! However you get shot down because you were mislead and didn't know you didn't have Wolverine level healing.
I wish I had Dr. Octopus arms that I had complete control over.
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