[Thread Game] Corrupt a wish foundation

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GRANTED! However this is only because you have been drafted into the American super soldier program, and are drafted to go to war! However you get shot down because you were mislead and didn't know you didn't have Wolverine level healing.

I wish I had Dr. Octopus arms that I had complete control over.
Granted! However, a freak lab accident destroys the inhibitor chip that was giving you complete control over the arms. The advanced A.I.s in the tentacles began influencing your thoughts and actions, turning you into an insane criminal.

I wish I had a healing factor like Wolverine.
 
Granted! However, a freak lab accident destroys the inhibitor chip that was giving you complete control over the arms. The advanced A.I.s in the tentacles began influencing your thoughts and actions, turning you into an insane criminal.

I wish I had a healing factor like Wolverine.
GRANTED! However right after you get said healing factor you get decapitated by the Muramasa blade, and your head is buried 500,000 miles underground, on unnamed planet, in an unknown dimension. And it was your first issue too!

I wish for more potatoes.
 
Granted! The potatoes crush you to death.

I wish I always had very fast internet access.
GRANTED! However it is too fast for you to keep up with, causing you to go into shock because of the speed. You end up becoming fearful of all advancements of technology, and become a hermit.

I wish for a cyborg gorilla that wouldn't harm me in any way, or anyone I care about.
 
GRANTED! However it is too fast for you to keep up with, causing you to go into shock because of the speed. You end up becoming fearful of all advancements of technology, and become a hermit.

I wish for a cyborg gorilla that wouldn't harm me in any way, or anyone I care about.
Granted. He only goes after people that those you care about care about. Soon everyone leaves you alone, knowing that their friends and family will be killed should they get close to you.

I wish.
 
Granted! You wish for nothing. Everything becomes nothing. Thanks.

I wish for the Earth's resources to never run out and that its atmosphere and water was self-cleaning.
 
Granted! You wish for nothing. Everything becomes nothing. Thanks.

I wish for the Earth's resources to never run out and that its atmosphere and water was self-cleaning.
Granted. However after being self-sufficient for a while it also becomes self-aware, and gets rid of all things it finds useless which includes us.

I wish I was part of a team of super heroes!
 
Granted. However after being self-sufficient for a while it also becomes self-aware, and gets rid of all things it finds useless which includes us.

I wish I was part of a team of super heroes!
Granted! However, you receive no super powers. In your first battle against a super villain, despite your team mates' best efforts to protect you, you are slain.

I wish I had an awesome name.
 
Granted! However, you receive no super powers. In your first battle against a super villain, despite your team mates' best efforts to protect you, you are slain.

I wish I had an awesome name.
GRANTED! However it is so awesome that it overshadows someone with a slightly less awesome name. That person becomes vengeful, and takes revenge on you by breaking all your things! And then your legs! And your arms! And he writes you a nasty letter! Not a nice man.

I wish I had more time on my hands.
 
Granted! Here are the last 10 years worth of TIME Magazine.

I wish all of Rupert Murdoch's news outlets would go bankrupt all at once.
 
Granted! Here are the last 10 years worth of TIME Magazine.

I wish all of Rupert Murdoch's news outlets would go bankrupt all at once.
Granted, however Rupert Murdoch had a stake in every porn company on the internet and they all go under too leaving the internet with no porn.

I wish they never cancelled Jericho because that show was awesome.
 
Granted, however Rupert Murdoch had a stake in every porn company on the internet and they all go under too leaving the internet with no porn.

I wish they never cancelled Jericho because that show was awesome.
Granted. Using a time machine the director went back and fed himself notes that end up ruining the show. Rather than being cancelled because it was awesome, it was cancelled because it sucked.

I wish a cheap, mass manufacturable water purifying device were invented to solve water problems in areas of the world where safe water was readily available.
 
Granted. Using a time machine the director went back and fed himself notes that end up ruining the show. Rather than being cancelled because it was awesome, it was cancelled because it sucked.

I wish a cheap, mass manufacturable water purifying device were invented to solve water problems in areas of the world where safe water was readily available.
GRANTED! However the areas of the world where safe water isn't readily available still have problems. Really should've phrased that better.

I wish I was the don of the mafia.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
GRANTED! You are Don, the guy who cleans the toilets at their "place of business." And they eat a lot of fiber.

I wish I could see a whale in real life.
 
GRANTED! You are Don, the guy who cleans the toilets at their "place of business." And they eat a lot of fiber.

I wish I could see a whale in real life.
GRANTED! However it is right after you fell off a boat, and you only see the whale as it swallows you whole.

I wish I could watch any show I like whenever I want.
 
GRANTED! You get the Hopper from Dish. Unfortunately, you have no dish, nor TV to use with it.

I wish I had a fish.
 
GRANTED! You get the Hopper from Dish. Unfortunately, you have no dish, nor TV to use with it.

I wish I had a fish.
Granted, but its a Majikarp that can never evolve nor learn any moves. Also from what I've heard, he probably wouldn't taste very good.

I wish I was a Cybertronian.
 
Granted! However, you're just a racist stereotype.

I wish I could always think of a snappy comeback on the spot.
GRANTED! However you the "spot" is a physical location where you have to stand in order to make snappy come-backs. And if you ever leave you become as witty as a jar of peanut butter. Also the spot is out-side, and there be all sorts of snakes.

I wish they'd make a second season to Strong Bad's cool game for attractive people.
 
GRANTED! However you the "spot" is a physical location where you have to stand in order to make snappy come-backs. And if you ever leave you become as witty as a jar of peanut butter. Also the spot is out-side, and there be all sorts of snakes.

I wish they'd make a second season to Strong Bad's cool game for attractive people.
Granted! And they even take out a restraining order against Uwe Boll to prevent him directing the movie adaptation. Unfortunately, Ang Lee gets his hands on the movie version, turning it into an angsty humorless drama about the relationship between Strong Bad and his father. Keanu Reeves plays Strong Bad.

I wish I had the world's most delicious bread to eat.
 
Granted! And they even take out a restraining order against Uwe Boll to prevent him directing the movie adaptation. Unfortunately, Ang Lee gets his hands on the movie version, turning it into an angsty humorless drama about the relationship between Strong Bad and his father. Keanu Reeves plays Strong Bad.

I wish I had the world's most delicious bread to eat.
Granted, it even regenerates after every time you eat it! But you become obsessed with it, it is the only thing you live for, and the only thing you eat. Your body needs other nutrients but you are so full of carbohydrates you just become a gigantic slob.

I wish for a cure to my procrastination!
 
Granted, it even regenerates after every time you eat it! But you become obsessed with it, it is the only thing you live for, and the only thing you eat. Your body needs other nutrients but you are so full of carbohydrates you just become a gigantic slob.

I wish for a cure to my procrastination!
Granted! The cure exists, but you never get around to taking it.

I wish nuclear reactors could be made as small and safe as jewelry you can wear, and you never need to worry about power plants or batteries again.
 
Granted. They could be, but as there's no profit in it, no one ever makes any, and the energy cartels see to it that no one ever does.

I wish I could take a lap of the old Spa-Francorchamps course in a Ford GT 40
 
I'd like to meet the guy who set up the brakes on my car and beat him to death with his own spanner. I cannot think of a time, under any circumstances, when it would be good to have your brakes stop working if you hit a slick surface. Keep them from locking up? Sure. That sounds great. But to have the brake pedal go all the way to the floor as soon as one (or more) of your tires hits a slick surface, and then have to pump the brakes 10 or so times before they'll work for anything more than a quick tap? No, fuck that.

I was gently braking (to briefly slow down) as I crossed an expansion joint in the rain, and the pedal went to the floor, causing me to need to pump the brakes before I could use them properly again. Would have been fine if I'd been coming to a complete stop, but I wasn't; so instead I had to leave like 10 car lengths between me and the car in front of me and use the transmission (thank god I drive a manual) for 4 miles until traffic finally came to a halt on the freeway. Who thought this was a good idea?
.... granted. You are then arrested and sentenced for murder.

I wish Gared's brakes worked properly
 
.... granted. You are then arrested and sentenced for murder.

I wish Gared's brakes worked properly
GRANTED! However this wish goes back in time and fixes Gared's brakes, causing him to not post on this thread, causing him to not make you wish for Gared's brakes to be fixed. So basically he's stuck in the same situation as before. Paradoxes, what can you do?

I wish for an unbreakable comb.
 
Granted! Unfortunately it pulls your hair out by the root every time you use it. In a week you're bald.

I wish for a white christmas.
 
Granted! The Klans takeover is a complete success.
I wish Frank would own THQ
Frank's buyout of all THQ stock goes smoothly and he becomes sole owner of THQ. He reshapes the company to make police simulation software while also producing games. Thanks to the lucrative government funding, THQ prospers, with both its simulation software division and its games division dominating their respective markets. The simulation software does so well, however, and the police forces become incredibly efficient and increasingly brutal, infringing on civil rights with near-total impunity. The public's resistance is flimsy at best, in part due to fear, and in part because everyone's having too much fun playing Saints Row 12: Johnny and Aisha Get Married. Eventually the police conduct a bloodless coup and turn America into a totalitarian police state. Future generations remember THQ, and Frank in particular, as the catalyst for the death of democracy in America.

I wish I could read the mind of anyone I wanted, but could turn it on and off at will, so I wouldn't be overwhelmed by all the psychic input.
 
Frank's buyout of all THQ stock goes smoothly and he becomes sole owner of THQ. He reshapes the company to make police simulation software while also producing games. Thanks to the lucrative government funding, THQ prospers, with both its simulation software division and its games division dominating their respective markets. The simulation software does so well, however, and the police forces become incredibly efficient and increasingly brutal, infringing on civil rights with near-total impunity. The public's resistance is flimsy at best, in part due to fear, and in part because everyone's having too much fun playing Saints Row 12: Johnny and Aisha Get Married. Eventually the police conduct a bloodless coup and turn America into a totalitarian police state. Future generations remember THQ, and Frank in particular, as the catalyst for the death of democracy in America.

I wish I could read the mind of anyone I wanted, but could turn it on and off at will, so I wouldn't be overwhelmed by all the psychic input.
GRANTED! However every time you turn it off, you go into a coma! Yet another incredibly inconvenient mutant power, thanks Marvel!

I wish I had the ability to create any physical object with my mind.
 
Granted. You are given instructions which allow you to create any physical object with bits of your brain. For every kilogram of physical mass you wish to create, it costs approximately one gram of brain matter. Doctors indicate you can probably manage to create about 200 kg of objects before you lose the ability to think.

I wish all the movies I wanted to see were available on Netflix.
 
Granted! But as a result of getting all those rights, Netflix raises its price to $250 a month.

I wish I was an expert programmer.
 
Granted! But as a result of getting all those rights, Netflix raises its price to $250 a month.

I wish I was an expert programmer.
GRANTED! However you are only an expert programmer of Furbies, which as we all know will stop being popular after a year or two. Because seriously, they are creepy as fuck.

I wish I could turn into a wolf without the whole "killing everyone I care about" deal.
 
Granted! But the only wolf you can turn into is the Tex Avery-style wolf from old cartoons.

Which means you basically act like Sanji around attractive women. But since most women do not appreciate this behavior you're always in trouble for harassment.

I wish I had three more days so there would be 8 days until Friday.
 
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